Case of a depraved husband

  • Thread starter Thread starter rtconstant
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

rtconstant

Guest
OK, I have a situation that I’d like some (name removed by moderator)ut on. There is a woman who I know of who’s husband mentally and sexually abusive too.

He has no job and demands that she work and support him and his entertainments. He has sexual appetites that are degrading and demands that she satisfy them. He forces her to do demeaning things like tying his shoes for him. Finally he at one point took risque photos of her to put on the internet in the hopes of snagging another woman (or couple) for multiple partner sex.

Anyway, I’m wanting to get some feedback and possibly education here. She is a Baptist but she’s old school and so has strict ideas about divorce. My knowledge of the Catholic position is not that good as Its never been an issue for me. Still I would think that she has good grounds for divorce. I would like opinions here on that. Also, what are her options after divorce should she do so?

Any advice or feedback is appreciated.

Thanks
 
I have a niece who was in almost the same situation. She did get a divorce. Normally Catholics consider divorce only as an option only in cases where one spouse or the other is unfaithful. But realistically, if a spouse is abusive that can be dangerous and potentially fatal.

Personally I think marriage should be for life, but if one of my kids were in an abusive marriage I would advise them to leave especially if they thought they were in danger.

If a Catholic separates or gets a divorce, they are to remain celibrate. IF they wish to marry again, they have to get the first marriage annulled.
 
Even if she doesn’t believe in divorce, she needs to see a lawyer about a separation and getting out of that house.

And even if she believes that marriage is permanent (as do I), does she really think that his vows to her were serious (“forsaking all others”?). And if he didn’t mean them, it isn’t really a marriage.

In other words, she should not put up with this. See a lawyer. Get a separation or a divorce.
 
I agree with you both of you. I too think marriage is for life, but she is obviously unequally yoked here. He professes to Christian but he certainly doesn’t act like it. I think he gets if from his father who was a minister but had affairs all the time.

Still, if he is this much of a sadist then there is no way of telling how far he will eventually go.
 
rtconstant said:
OK, I have a situation that I’d like some (name removed by moderator)ut on. There is a woman who I know of who’s husband mentally and sexually abusive too.

He has no job and demands that she work and support him and his entertainments. He has sexual appetites that are degrading and demands that she satisfy them. He forces her to do demeaning things like tying his shoes for him. Finally he at one point took risque photos of her to put on the internet in the hopes of snagging another woman (or couple) for multiple partner sex.

Anyway, I’m wanting to get some feedback and possibly education here. She is a Baptist but she’s old school and so has strict ideas about divorce. My knowledge of the Catholic position is not that good as Its never been an issue for me. Still I would think that she has good grounds for divorce. I would like opinions here on that. Also, what are her options after divorce should she do so?

Any advice or feedback is appreciated.

Thanks
Click to expand...
Your friend and you both know the answer. No man can submit his wife to this treatment, especially engaging in sexual partners and risqué photos of her on the Internet. This is not a marriage but a temporary state of hell for her. If she and her husband refuse counseling, she needs to separate from him until he changes his views concerning marriage and the treatment of his wife. This could also be a sign of significant mental disorder that requires professional treatment; soon.
 
He is having an affair…He is being unfaithful… It is at least an emotional affair… God’s plan for marriage is 1 man 1 woman forever! Just by his behavior he is being unfaithful to her. I would not advocate divorce yet though, unless she is in danger. I would advise her to seek individual counselling for her to deal with the betrayal, individual counselling for him to deal with the deviant behaviors and marriage counselling for them both. There is no need to break up a marital bond if he is ill and can be helped. If he brought another woman or couple over for a “wild” time however…all bets would be off… that would be too disrespectful!
 
In some Bibles the justification for divorce is a spouse that behaves in an unchaste manner. This is so disgusting that it makes me nauseated. How can anyone think that this is ok to ask a wife to do? The title should read "Case of a perverted husband.
 
Once more I appreciate all of your posts.
If she leaves, she may need protection.
Click to expand...
I worry about that too. He is obviously some one so consumed by his own fears that he needs to be in total control. I do worry for when she attempts to exert her own.
 
I would have her contact the local domestic violence women’s shelter. They can help her safely find a way out of this nightmare. Please let her know that this is not the life that God would want for her. There is a better future.
 
I agree that she will need to get help in remaining safe. She should check in to the stalking laws in her state, and be ready to have them enforced.

Her husband is obviously not respecting her dignity.

Any husband who is unfaithful to his wife is putting her into danger from STDs. And some forms of degrading sex are also physically dangerous.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top