Cash Gifts from Friends

[Cor_ad_Cor]

Most of my friends and family are well aware that we don’t have extra cash to spend, regardless of whether they agree or disagree with how we choose to use our money. I’m keenly aware that we haven’t been the best stewards of our financial resources, and combined with some unfortunate past circumstances (medical and employment), we’re in quite a tight budget - but now with light at the end of the tunnel, lessons learned and situations slowly improving. {Praise God!}

Yesterday, I have no idea what got into me, but I posted something on social media in a half-joking manner asking who would like to pay for my graduate school expenses. My employer pays almost all of the tuition, but I have some incidental fees, and within a year or two, would be well-poised for a significant career move (and all of that was shared in the post). Within a couple of hours, two different friends that I don’t see that often had sent me messages offering to contribute.

I was flummoxed; I hadn’t really expected a response other than cursory questions about what I would study, etc. I don’t feel comfortable taking money from people, especially those I admire and respect but haven’t been the best of friends to in terms of maintaining the relationship/communication lines. I responded with an, “oh, I was just being silly” reply to each and thanked them for the offer.

I realize I probably shouldn’t have made the post at all, but now that it’s done, what are your thoughts? Should I have accepted? Would “crowd funding” my incidentals for graduate school be ethical or ___? (insert the opposite of whatever this ‘sleazy’ feeling is that I keep having)

 

[vallancec]

If you take the money or not you should try to get together with these friends. It sounds to me that they are people worth being around.

 

[Irishmom2]

I think you should tell them you were only joking and not take the money. If your employer is paying almost all of your tuition as it is, you are already blessed. Please realize that for all that it means and thank God for it. Don’t let someone else pay for your incidentals when you are already being given a gift that puts you so far ahead of most people that end up with loads of loans to pay back. Be thankful. Be happy.

 

[nodito]

I think it was kind of them to offer and right of you to decline.

In general, I think crowdfunding is only really appropriate when the reason is dire need, like to support a child whose parents have just died, a family who’s home has just burned down, or to help fund medical expenses for a family who needs to travel to St. Jude’s, etc. I don’t think it’s sinful to ask for money to help pay for something like grad school or fixing a car or whatever but I agree that it brings this sort of icky feeling that leads me to conclude it’s at the very least in poor taste.

 

[AdamP88]

If you take the money or not you should try to get together with these friends. It sounds to me that they are people worth being around.

This.

I would also avoid posting such financial information or requests on social media in future. If you are really going to ask for a loan, social media isn’t the place. You don’t want to become “that guy” who posts about their financial situation. I would normally consider that something to keep between myself and my wife.

 

[SuperHappy]

I think you should have gracefully accepted. If you posted that and your friends felt led to give, you shouldn’t block their blessing. It feels good to give and it sounds like you have some really generous and kind friends.

Since you chose not to accept, may I suggest that you hold these friends close to you, they obviously love you and value your friendship and want to see you grow. Those kind of people are priceless treasures. Hold them up in your prayers as well!

You are very blessed!

 

[EasterJoy]

If you have no immediate need for the money–that is, if you may find a way to fund your own way–I’d thank the friends and let them know you’ll turn to them if you are in a bind but don’t want to impose on their generosity just yet. Then ask them to pray that you’ll find the means to pay your own way through this financially tight time and thank them for letting you know you’re not in this world alone. That in itself is a great gift.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Am I the only person who think that ‘friends’ who rarely see you yet offer to give you money over social media sounds kind of weird?

Personally, I would stay away from these people and even defriend them. They just sound odd