Catch 22 - what to do?

[Like]

I say this with love and I appreciate your concern.

The concept of Priest-Shopping implies that one can barter and bend GOD to meet your needs. To indulge that concept for a second the purpose of finding a Priest that will absolve you is so you can, as implied, be absolved. The only way that can occur is if there is a valid confession. Reference The Catechism (1430).

Based on the concept and twisted logic of “Priest-Shopping” one could never receive a valid absolution. The Priest is the instrument of GOD; Thus GOD and the individual “shopping” are the ones who have to agree that a valid confession took place not the Priest. The concept of Priest shopping is contrary in spirit to Catechism (1441)
I reject that concept of Priest Shopping all together.

God bless you & your wife! You are both in our prayers!

 

[floresco]

I believe my findings are correct, but several days ago I thought I was not living in sin too. So take this with a grain of salt, and validate for yourself.

For what it’s worth, your post looks to me like you have a good grasp of the Church teaching pertaining to your situation.

 

[ProVobis]

If the intent is to go to confession before Mass every week so you can participate in the Eucharist and the intent is to have relations knowing that one can go to confession then it is possible that one never leaves the state of mortal sin because the intent is to commit adultery again.

Interesting point. But this seems to be the same situation any unmarried couple find themselves, whether they’re living together or not, with the possible exception that it’s fornication and not adultery.

 

[ActusNonVerbum]

Interesting point. But this seems to be the same situation any unmarried couple find themselves, whether they’re living together or not, with the possible exception that it’s fornication and not adultery.

Fornication may not necessarily be a mortal sin unless it meets the 3 criterion as laid out in the Catechism (1857-1860). From what I understand the difference is between fornication is Adultery is an automatic go to the mortal sin penalty box for at least for one person if not both people involved.

I could possible see the exception if the one who was married held back facts from the one that was not married. The individual who was not married could have made a different choice if they has a full understanding of the situation. Although one my wrongly justify being engaged in fornication the same person could have the moral discipline not to fornicate with a married person.

Thus, the one not married could demonstrate ignorance of the state of marriage of the sinning partner and could possible not meet the second criterion for recognizing mortal sin.

Based on the logic it would appear on the surface that two people can be engaged in the same act, but only one was guilty of a mortal sin. It would be nice to get validation on this.

 

[ActusNonVerbum]

I am very excited to announce my last civil marriage was annulled. Yet thinking of Mark 10 I am not excited in a manner that makes me jump for joy but is a relief that will allow my wife and I to have our marriage convalidated.

For those who are in a similar situation a Lack of form can be used by the tribunal and it is not a that long of a process.

You will need to get:

1. Your baptism certificate
2. The civil marriage certificate
3. This civil divorce decree.
4. If you are currently married your current marriage certificate.

Keep us in your prayers.

 

[ProVobis]

I am very excited to announce my last civil marriage was annulled. Yet thinking of Mark 10 I am not excited in a manner that makes me jump for joy but is a relief that will allow my wife and I to have our marriage convalidated.

Good to hear. Hope everything works out for you and you will return to the sacraments.

 

[floresco]

For those who are in a similar situation a Lack of form can be used by the tribunal and it is not a that long of a process.

Thanks for the update. Even though I imagine this has been difficult for you, I suspect this experience is going to help you to serve others in the future.

 

[Robert_Burns]

I am in a Catch 22 and I feel saddened that I am in this position. After a series of events I was told that I am living in mortal sin every day because of my marriage. I was told that I should not receive Communion. I have started the annulment process, which can take 12-18 months.

I was separated and divorced from my last wife after only 2 years of marriage. I remarried 7 years ago. I have a child that is sweet and wonderful.

From what I understand, I am committing adultery every time my wife and I strengthen our marital bond… However by that by logic there is no martial bond because I am committing adultery. And the only way that I can receive Communion is to live a temporary life of Chastity after I go to confession until the annulment happens.

I examine my conscience and I do not see how I am in a state of Mortal Danger I go to confession once a month.

After many years of waiting for my wife to convert she has started the process.

I am very truly sure that the ultimate outcome of the tribunal process will be an annulment of my former marriage. It did miss 50% of the elements that were required for it to be a valid marriage. And my current marriage will be convalidated.

To top it off we want to try to have one last child before she turned 42. If my logic is correct our obedience will remove that plan .

I am confused and sadden. Someone please shed some light on the appropriate way I can participate in the Eucharist and still keep a happy marriage. I am not stating that they are exclusive but the application of the Eucharist in my life would exclude marital bonding in my wife’s life and mine. If she is not OK with me living a chastised life then I need guidance on that also.

Are you hoping to get validation through a Forum? Sorry. I think the Priest has told you what you must do. My advise is to do it.

 

[floresco]

Are you hoping to get validation through a Forum? Sorry. I think the Priest has told you what you must do. My advise is to do it.

If you had read further in the thread you would have seen that this was not an appropriate tone to take to the poster. He is dealing with some serious challenges in an exemplary way. He ought to be receiving encouragement and support from us.

 

[Melchior_1]

I am very excited to announce my last civil marriage was annulled. Yet thinking of Mark 10 I am not excited in a manner that makes me jump for joy but is a relief that will allow my wife and I to have our marriage convalidated.

Yes guy! This is OUTSTANDING NEWS!

Your child is blessed to have such a solid father rooted in faith, that’s for sure.

 

[Robert_Burns]

If you had read further in the thread you would have seen that this was not an appropriate tone to take to the poster. He is dealing with some serious challenges in an exemplary way. He ought to be receiving encouragement and support from us.

I disagree. Sometimes we have to simply take certain issues to the Priest instead of to Laity. Who are you or I to give such advise? I cannnot pretend to give advise contrary to what a Priest has already told someone. If by encouraging someone to go talk to the Priest instead of to a forum is bad advise - then thats a new one on me. Since when does a forum of Laity take precedence?

 

[Deb_H]

If you had read further in the thread you would have seen that this was not an appropriate tone to take to the poster. He is dealing with some serious challenges in an exemplary way. He ought to be receiving encouragement and support from us.

Thank you floresco !

 

[Deb_H]

I disagree. Sometimes we have to simply take certain issues to the Priest instead of to Laity. Who are you or I to give such advise? I cannnot pretend to give advise contrary to what a Priest has already told someone. If by encouraging someone to go talk to the Priest instead of to a forum is bad advise - then thats a new one on me. Since when does a forum of Laity take precedence?

what was it about your comment that was encouraging ?

 

[Robert_Burns]

what was it about your comment that was encouraging ?

Maybe the part about doing what the Priest told you to do?

 

[Melchior_1]

Maybe the part about doing what the Priest told you to do?

The OP has done his homework and has contacted knowledgeable clergy and knowledgeable laity and has remained obedient to the Church’s teaching and his clergy’s guidance throughout this thread. He’s an asset to his family and to whichever parish he attends IMHO.

I have zero idea why you posted what you did earlier unless you skipped over several posts.

 

[Robert_Burns]

The OP has done his homework and has contacted knowledgeable clergy and knowledgeable laity and has remained obedient to the Church’s teaching and his clergy’s guidance throughout this thread. He’s an asset to his family and to whichever parish he attends IMHO.

I have zero idea why you posted what you did earlier unless you skipped over several posts.

I posted what I did in response to a post early in the thread and have been doing so ever since or so it would seem. My advise then was to do as the Priest instructed. That was it. He has - end of discussion. If he has followed his clergies guidance then he has done as I initially recommended and for all intents and purposes we are on the same page.

And I have zero idea why you think we are arguing a point. I am in agreement with all of you. That if a Priest has given you instruction as to what you must do then to do it. That there is no need to come to a forum asking for a second opinion.

Pax

 

[ActusNonVerbum]

That if a Priest has given you instruction as to what you must do then to do it. That there is no need to come to a forum asking for a second opinion.

Pax

No need to quarrel- I think like most things there was a miss reading by all parties.

Mr. Burns you are correct if a Priest did give instruction there would be no need to seek additional advice. If you looked at all of my post, this thread was not about a second opinion, but whether or not I needed a first opinion. I hope that clarified somethings.

In my case and I will presume the same for others, the reason people need this forum is because the Church is a community that extends everywhere and yes even here online. Walls do not make a church. In my case the Clergy is not always present or available when one needs guidance and so we turn to our peers for advice. Like all health related advice we need to seek a professional but until we have a compelling reason to do so we turn to our peers for advice and home remedy.

This turning to community is actually what gives the opportunity for all weak and strong in the Faith to have God work through them so an outcome is of His Will. If you heart is in the right place and you have great peers which this forum is full of you should get advice.

The advice usually ending in the phrase “Go see your Priest”…

Your brother in Christ.

PS I am an IT guy myself it is very cool seeing IT Guys on here because most don’t care about faith, only computers.

 

[Alexander_Smith]

Are you hoping to get validation through a Forum? Sorry. I think the Priest has told you what you must do. My advise is to do it.

Read the thread! You can’t get in on a 3 page long discussion by replying only to the first post.

To the OP, your story is an amazing and inspiring one. I’m very glad to hear that your previous marriage was annulled. God bless you and your family at this time.

 

[Melchior_1]

PS I am an IT guy myself it is very cool seeing IT Guys on here because most don’t care about faith, only computers.

It helps that I came back to the Church before getting into IT, but I agree that we’re in the minority within the industry (at least it feels that way!).