Catholic and mental illness in ones family

[WilT]

I wonder how one as a Catholic can deal with a family member with mental problems. A member of my family is a past alcoholic and is now a dry alcoholic meaning that they retain alcoholic behaviors. As a Catholic I try to be patient and kind to them but that doesn’t faze them a bit. Some of their behaviors are difficult to counter. Anger, impatience, pride, arrogance, self righteousness, and just all around meanness. Since one is and tries to live a Christian life they seem more driven towards you and not others. Very difficult to deal with. I cannot really find a passage in the New Testament where Jesus deals specifically with someone with mental illness and how he treated it/them.

 

[Petaro]

It is hard to be kind to the mentally ill as it is a dreadful disease that manifests itself in so many anti-social ways, it really tries the patience of even a saint.
I must admit that, unless I had a fiduciary duty to them such as a wife or child, mother or father, I would give what distance I could so as not to fall into a temptation for impatience or rudeness. Meanness is especially difficult to counter, as you feel the injustice of the behaviour.
The old Christian fallback of prayer may work, but I would give them the distance they deserve based on my own weakness not their failures. I would pray for a change in my own attitude as it is more likely to change than that of an ill person. Support for those closer to the person without direct involvement with the ill person may be the best chance to be charitable in a practical sense given your natural revulsion. You cannot help your feelings.

 

[NeedsMercy]

A very close family member is a “dry drunk” between binges. During a binge, this person is obnoxious and even violent. Try your best to get your family member some professional help. If they refuse after repeated attempts, there’s really not much more you can do besides pray. You **must **pray, and pray hard! Try praying to St. Dymphna, or to Blessed Matt Talbot. Here is a website about Matt Talbot, where you can place a prayer request at the shrine in Dublin:

matttalbot.ie/index.htm

I’ll keep you in my prayers. God bless.

 

[Christy_Beth]

I wonder how one as a Catholic can deal with a family member with mental problems. A member of my family is a past alcoholic and is now a dry alcoholic meaning that they retain alcoholic behaviors. As a Catholic I try to be patient and kind to them but that doesn’t faze them a bit. Some of their behaviors are difficult to counter. Anger, impatience, pride, arrogance, self righteousness, and just all around meanness. Since one is and tries to live a Christian life they seem more driven towards you and not others. Very difficult to deal with. I cannot really find a passage in the New Testament where Jesus deals specifically with someone with mental illness and how he treated it/them.

What you are describing may not be actual mental illness, but just their personality. There may not be anything that shows outright where Jesus dealt with the mentally ill. The closest thing I remember are when he faced demonic possession. This is not to say that you should try to deal with that on your own.

Has anyone taken this person aside and talked with him/her about the in appropriate behavior? Maybe several members of the family could do this. If this person refuses to listen/get help, then I’m with the others on limiting your time with this person. Don’t accept responsibility for their happiness. If they try to approach you, asking why you’re avoiding them, tell them specificially why. That may be the hardest thing to do. Oh, and tell him/her that if they go into counseling, it might go a long way in helping to repair relationships.

I’ll be praying for you, and for your situation. In the meantime, learn as much as you can about this. Going into this well armed will help increase a better outcome. Aso, if this is a form of mental illness, you’ll be more prepared for positive action here. Why am I saying this? I have more than one diagnosis of mental illness. Yes, sometimes I can be a pain in the butt. But, those in my family who have taken the time to find out more about the diagnosis are far more supportive than they were before then. Learn, pray, and be prepared to be openly honest.

 

[mountee]

A very close family member is a “dry drunk” between binges. During a binge, this person is obnoxious and even violent. Try your best to get your family member some professional help. If they refuse after repeated attempts, there’s really not much more you can do besides pray. You **must **pray, and pray hard! Try praying to St. Dymphna, or to Blessed Matt Talbot. Here is a website about Matt Talbot, where you can place a prayer request at the shrine in Dublin:

matttalbot.ie/index.htm

I’ll keep you in my prayers. God bless.

Thanks for this link, I had not heard of him and found it very intersting.

 

[mommy_k]

Mental illness is an illness, and should be treated as such. The most powerful approach is prayer, and treatment. If someone had a broken leg-we would pray and seek a doctor. For someone who is post addictive, they may also need a doctors treatment.

I don’t recall any scripture in the new testament regarding mental illness, however Jesus teaches us to relieve the sufferings of others, as well as not to enable. To get professional help for an ill person who needs it is a form of this.

The story of the good samaritin is an example.

 

[WilT]

Great advice so far. Thanx.

 

[WilT]

Now that I have a few more days to think about it…yes, it is personality one acquires with or around the dry alcoholic. AA treats the alcoholic and Al-Anon treats the affected family members. npatrol:

 

[otjm]

Some people are mentally ill.

Others are just jerks. And I am trying to be polite in my description.

If they are truly mentally ill, then one can try to seek treatment for them, but they have to be willing.

If they are mentally ill and will not seek treatment, then it may be best for peace of mind to avoid them at all costs.

And if they are just jerks, read the prior sentence.

And always pray for them.

 

[WilT]

Some people are mentally ill.

Others are just jerks. And I am trying to be polite in my description.

If they are truly mentally ill, then one can try to seek treatment for them, but they have to be willing.

If they are mentally ill and will not seek treatment, then it may be best for peace of mind to avoid them at all costs.

And if they are just jerks, read the prior sentence.

And always pray for them.

 

[WilT]

What I’m finding that helps is to remain humble and not complaint so much. Complaining to the Lord maybe all right. Patience and time seems to chip away a small fragment of their narcissistic behaviors. The cost is great but eventually it is worth it. My families salvation is close and dear to me. I want all to enjoy heaven one day

 

[JamalChristophr]

Galatians 6:2 comes to mind:

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

As a person who suffers from long-term and treatment-resistant major depression, I would say a little kindness, consideration, and patience can go a long way.

There’s a lot of merit, I think, that can be gained or lost in how we treat our neighbor in difficult times.

“As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, YOU DID IT TO ME.”
-Gospel according to Matthew

 

[WilT]

Today, I got a good feel about the Scriptural text of forgive them Father for they do not know what they do. In an unstable non-Christian centered home a lot of abuse can takes place. People can be angry, unhappy, and mean spirited in the home and can cause constant turmoil and aggression. As a Catholic attempting to live in house full of turmoil and anger is can be very difficult and seems even impossible to counteract properly. They won’t realize they can and will be harming others and since they are not Christian based, they won’t know what they are doing. And if you were to ask them, they may not even care. It takes a lot of patients, forgiveness and love to surpass the troubled times.

 

[WilT]

Galatians 6:2 comes to mind:

"Bear one another’s burdens,

“As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, YOU DID IT TO ME.”
-Gospel according to Matthew

Bear another’s burdens is a good thing to practice within a believing Christian community but within non-Christian based communities, individuals, we are called to treat them differently Rom 16:17 “I urge you, brothers…avoid them”.

 

[WilT]

I’m beginning to believe that even though the Lord doesn’t mention specifically about mental illness between Him and Paul we get a good feel on how to deal with them especially when they are negative and hostile.