Catholic and protestant relationships? do they work?

[Chiefsinner]

I’m just wondering if catholic and protestant relationships do they work? would want some opinions on this subject on few areas

1. praying together - you won’t be able to pray the rosary and there is a different style in prayer so how does this work?
2. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week
3. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

These are few questions in my mind at the moment will think a couple more later…

 

[Chiefsinner]

Another question is do people convert their faith - catholic to protestant or vice versa. Just wanted some info on these options any information will be valuable! Thanks!

 

[KellyPalmer]

I’m just wondering if catholic and protestant relationships do they work? would want some opinions on this subject on few areas

1. praying together - you won’t be able to pray the rosary and there is a different style in prayer so how does this work?
2. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week
3. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

These are few questions in my mind at the moment will think a couple more later…

1. We would do free form prayer together
2. I tried going to Protestant church with him for a while but he was never really motivated to go so I stopped and told him I was going to Mass and that he was welcome to join me but that I totally understood if he wanted to stay home.
3. Yes, we had those types of debates.

I imagine there is no one-size fits all Catholic/Protestant marriage. In my marriage, he had some past experiences that turned him off to church in general although he always loved Jesus and knew he didn’t want to be Catholic, lol. I was poorly catechized b/c I grew up in a liberal diocese so I didn’t really know the church’s teachings very well. After 7 years of marriage he ended up converting to Catholicism and helping me have my own reversion of sorts.

 

[GWright]

Hiya

I’m just wondering if catholic and protestant relationships do they work?

Well,

My Granny was a Catholic, my Grandad was not. (both now deceased)

My Mum is a Catholic, my Dad is not.

I am a Catholic, my wife is not.

My little sister is a Catholic, her husband is not.

(my other sis aint married as yet).

All of these have been happy and solid marriages. (OK, me and my wife, and my sister + husband, are only recently married, but the others were/are married for decades).

So, yeh, such relationships work.

The non-Catholics in these relationships are not really “protestant”, thought they would probably define as such.

In reality, they are “nothing” - not members of any Church, do not attend any Church etc - where I come from that is entirely typical for people who call themselves “Protestants”.

1. praying together - you won’t be able to pray the rosary and there is a different style in prayer so how does this work?

We dont pray together. As far as I know, none of the other examples I gave do either.

Rather, I pray for my wife - for her conversion, for her health and happiness, for our relationship and that I may do her justice as a husband.

If we manage to start a family, I will introduce a family grace before meals, which I would like us to all take part in togerher.

1. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week

My wife doesnt attend any Church. I attend once or twice a week - a saturday and/or sunday. Whilst I am at Church, she usually has a lie-in, or watches TV or whatever.

I would like us to attend Church as a family unit, if we are lucky enough to have children. Even if she only came as an extra pair of hands to help control the children.

I do not think she would be against that idea, but would probably decline out of concern as to what her own parents might think, do or say. They are Church of Scotland attendees, (presbyterians), and might be resentful if she started attending a Catholic Church. She stopped going to the Church of Scotland years ago, long before we met.

It would be wholly typical of the mentality of Scottish Protestants that they would be happier with their daughter having no religion at all, than with her going to a Catholic Church.

I would be over the moon if she did come along with us to Church, or even converted - however that is up to her alone and I never attend to persuade or pressure her: I respect her right to make her own choices.

1. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

There are no debates in our household

You see, one of my household functions is to communicate and enforce Papal Supremacy and Infallibility at all times, and boy is that a job I do resoundingly well

There might be debates in other relationships,. but none of these will ever change the fact that the Catholic Church is the sole Chrisitan Church founded by Jesus Christ - and as such is “always right” from the Christian persepective.

In contrast, protestant churches were founded 1,500+ years after Christ, by various mortal men - and are accordingly flawed. They are human enterprises, not divine enterprises.

I have no theological training, nor have I ever studied Christian doctrine in depth etc, but - any time I encounter examples of protestantism - I am always powerfully struck by their complete lack of credibility, from the Church of Scotland to the Westboro Baptists and all in between.

I say that truthfully, not as an attempt to be snarky or mean.

Anymore questions, fire away!

 

[ChurchSoldier]

Yes they do work. I work with the elderly and see many couples who have different faiths.

Should they work? Probably not if people were firm about the doctrine of their belief system. Reality is most people are flexible enough in their faith that they make it work.

 

[styrgwillidar]

I’m just wondering if catholic and protestant relationships do they work? would want some opinions on this subject on few areas

1. praying together - you won’t be able to pray the rosary and there is a different style in prayer so how does this work?
2. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week
3. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

These are few questions in my mind at the moment will think a couple more later…

Sorry, I can’t answer your questions directly but, FYI, the religious director at my parrish has been married to a baptist minister for over 20 years. They seem to make it work with each of them going to their own churches. I know they pray together but not sure which/types of prayers.

Most important question, which you didn’t touch on, is raising the children. Because if you get married as a Catholic you are agreeing to raise the children catholic. I would think that would tend to cause the most friction. Exposing your children to the differences in the doctrines and allowing them as young adults to choose their own path. Just my .02.

 

[Chiefsinner]

Great replies. Another question comes to mind if you have kids would you let the kids decide what faith they want to follow or would you raise them catholic?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I couldn’t answer because your question is too general. Many relationships between faiths “work” just fine. For example, I can work with people of all faiths, including Protestants. I can also have friendships with people of all faiths.

But for marriage, it’s difficult. The Church does not recommend that Catholics marry outside of our faith, for many very good reasons.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Great replies. Another question comes to mind if you have kids would you let the kids decide what faith they want to follow or would you raise them catholic?

You MUST raise your children as Catholics and your spouse must agree not to impede you in this. That alone is a deal-killer for most Protestants.

Letting children decide guarantees that they will end up with nothing. No faith at all.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I’m just wondering if catholic and protestant relationships do they work? would want some opinions on this subject on few areas

1. praying together - you won’t be able to pray the rosary and there is a different style in prayer so how does this work?
2. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week
3. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

These are few questions in my mind at the moment will think a couple more later…

1. The Catholic will include prayers to Mary and the saints that may send the Protestant running away from the heathen prayer!
2. The Catholic is OBLIGATED to attend Mass every single Sunday, no exceptions.
3. Catholics OWN the trump card because there would have been no Bible had it not been for our Church. But Protestants don’t want to acknowledge that fact usually.

 

[PaulGH]

It really depends on a number of factors. For example:

• How serious is each one about his or her faith?
• Can they agree on a strategy for raising children that is fine with both of them, and which will continue to be fine with both of them over time (e.g., where will the children go to church, receive sacraments, and receive catechesis)?
• Can they agree on how they will practice their faith together (e.g., go together to both a Protestant service and a Catholic Mass every weekend, or go separately, or some other arrangement)?
• Do they have a mutually agreed understanding of the obligations of marriage and of what is allowed in marriage (e.g., permanence of marriage, openness to life, NFP vs. contraception, other Catholic sexual teachings, etc.)?
• And so on.

I do think that a Catholic/Protestant couple will often face significant challenges that a Catholic/Catholic couple or a Protestant/Protestant couple may not face, but there are Catholic/Protestant couples who have met these challenges and who have great marriages.

I didn’t vote in the poll, but if you had an option in between Yes and No (e.g., “Possibly, depending on the couple”), I would have voted for that.

 

[PaulGH]

Another question is do people convert their faith - catholic to protestant or vice versa. Just wanted some info on these options any information will be valuable! Thanks!

My wife was what could best be described as a non-denominational Protestant when we dated, but she converted to the Catholic Church when we married. I think that she initially converted because she had no preference among Christian denominations, and she figured that she could be just as good a Christian as a Catholic as she could in any other church or denomination – so why not belong to the same church as her husband. However, as she learned about the Catholic Church in RCIA and beyond, she soon became convinced that it truly is the church that Christ instituted, and she now is very committed to the Catholic faith.

However, in many couples, neither spouse ever converts. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to most of your questions.

 

[manualman]

Too simplistic a question. CAN it work? Of course, and it has for more than a few. But you’re making things awfully hard on yourself.

Imagine marriage as the act of crossing the English Channel. Two faithful, believing catholics who marry cross the channel by ferry. Can a disaster happen? Yes, but it’s about as safe as the crossing can be made (pretend there’s no Chunnel!).

A catholic and a protestant marrying is like trying to cross the English channel by swimming it. It can be done and has been done plenty of times. But it sure is the harder way to do it!

If you’re wondering whether to ask out that evangelical cutie - don’t.
If you already did that two years ago and are now agonizing over a tought choice, I can’t make it for you. You have to decide for yourself if you’re up for that hard a swim.

 

[CMSUVulcan]

I’m just wondering if catholic and protestant relationships do they work? would want some opinions on this subject on few areas

What sort of relations? Relations amongst friends or relations as in Marriage? I will assume you mean marriage

I know a non-Catholic girl --her family is Presbyterian – and she and her brother hang out with a bunch of my fellow Catholics and I and she prays the rosary and even the Liturgy of the Hours. I don’t think she has any intention to ever become a Catholic, but she respects Catholic teaching and prayers on a great many things. Also, I have never seen her doing Eucharistic Adoration, but her brother has on a retreat he went on with us, and as such I think she would be open to it. So I don’t see this as too much of a problem. Also, I know and am good friends with, a Methodist pastor who prays the rosary. However, to keep this germane to the topic, I don’t know why you would want to even have a relationship with someone who wouldn’t even attempt and/or respect your prayer tradition or why you would want to have a relationship with someone you couldn’t pray with.

1. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week

To me, this actually posits a much bigger problem than prayer. During my undergrad days I had a professor who was Catholic and whose wife was Methodist, her former pastor is the one I was refering to in point one. Although it worked for them, and he seemed to keep the faith and was at least working to raise their children to learn the faith this would be a problem. I mean why would you marry someone where every sunday would be potentially a cause of bickering? I mean I would fear that something that should actually bring you closer to God would cause division and distract you from God. So while I have seen it work, this is actually the main reason I would not pursue girl – as wonderful and sweet and dear to me as she is – from point one as a marriage partner. Of course, one of the other members of the RCIA class who was confirmed at Easter 2010 along with me was a former Methodist who had been married to a Catholic for 30 years. Looking back on it, and remembering him talking about it, I think their marriage did result in him entering into full communion with the Church. After all his wife was Catholic and his kids were all baptized and confirmed and he had been going to mass for several years. So really, while it would be the idea for both to be Catholic, one Catholic and one of another flavoring could possibly work

1. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

Again, I don’t see why you would enter a committed relationship with someone where there would be a possibility of this. Also, even amongst friends --and from my Baptist and Assembly of God roots I have many non Catholic friends – we tend to focus on what we agree on than what we do not. Well these are just my thoughts.

 

[signit]

Love to talk about this, as a mixed marriage child myself:

1. praying together - you won’t be able to pray the rosary and there is a different style in prayer so how does this work?
2. going to church together - do people go to their respective churches or do they go to each other’s church every alternative week
3. difference in beliefs - will there be biblical debates on who is right and who is wrong?

(1) Mom and Dad didn’t pray together. Both were okay with that.

(2) Mom went to Catholic church and brought me. Dad didn’t go to any church. Both were okay with that.

(3) No “debates.” Dad was satisfied that both Mom and Dad “believed in God.” No problem.

Another question is do people convert their faith - catholic to protestant or vice versa. Just wanted some info on these options any information will be valuable! Thanks!

Neither converted or was expected to.

Great replies. Another question comes to mind if you have kids would you let the kids decide what faith they want to follow or would you raise them catholic?

I was raised Catholic (as another said, this is required of Catholic parents). Dad was okay with that; he figured I was getting at least some religious training.

I think this is a big factor, right here:

It really depends on a number of factors. For example:

• How serious is each one about his or her faith?

With Mom and Dad, Dad wasn’t a hardcore church-going Protestant.

That may be part of why he was okay with Mom and me going to Catholic church.

If he was a seriously committed member of some other faith, he might have had a problem with it.

 

[TexCatholic4JMJ]

When I was in high school, one of the teacher, a nun, told us that we should look for a
devout Catholic to marry. Marrying a wishy-washy Catholic or devout Protestant would probably result in a difficult marriage or defecting from Catholicism of the Catholic.
Throughout the years, this has been a situation that has proven true more often than
not.
Why risk it? Marry someone with values and a faith you share.

 

[Peter12rb]

Respect is the key ingredient for these marriages. If you can respect your spouse and their denomination, you can have a good marriage. If not - look inside yourself for the answer, then, since respect is a foundation for every marriage.

Something that hasn’t been commented on, but which is very important (I think), is how do the other family members feel about this relationship. It’s a shame, but many family members will not be respectful, will make disparaging remarks, and will try to debate and argue with the spouse of the different denomination. The husband/wife will have to have an agreement on when/how to defend and protect their partner from this kind of disrespect.

 

[signit]

Something that hasn’t been commented on, but which is very important (I think), is how do the other family members feel about this relationship. It’s a shame, but many family members will not be respectful, will make disparaging remarks, and will try to debate and argue with the spouse of the different denomination. The husband/wife will have to have an agreement on when/how to defend and protect their partner from this kind of disrespect.

Jumping in again, because it’s so appropriate:

This can change, as they get to know the person.

When Mom introduced Dad to her aunt (Catholic) as the man she was going to marry, she took one look at him and said, “Hmpf!”

But, as time went by, she found out what kind of a person she was and respected him. When she needed help with something Dad was the first one she’d call.

 

[JackieMom]

I could not be happily married to someone who did not accept that the Catholic Church is the only true faith. My sister is married to a Protestant though, and it works. Neither is very serious in their practice so there aren’t conflicts.

It might be slightly easier to be married to a “nothing” who let me take full control over all things religious in our family… But it would still be sad and I would always pray for a conversion.

 

[KellyPalmer]

Great replies. Another question comes to mind if you have kids would you let the kids decide what faith they want to follow or would you raise them catholic?

My husband agreed that our children would be raised Catholic. Although he was raised in a very anti-Catholic home, he noticed that my family was much more accepting. He probably also noticed that a lot of my family members went on to become Protestant after being raised Catholic so he didn’t feel that it would be a problem if they decided to take a different path later in life. It seemed like a safe way to raise our kids. Funny, now we are both very focused in how we can raise them to become life-long Catholics, lol.