Catholic and protestant relationships? do they work?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Chiefsinner
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Dear Friends: My Catholic wife and I just celebrated our 20th Anniversary together. I was raised Methodist and then did an adult-choice to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Since my wife was raised Catholic, I agreed to both be married in a Catholic Church and for our son to be raised as a Catholic. I typically attend Catholic Mass with my family. I had originally ignorantly participated in the Eucharist. I was honestly shocked to the bone to first learn that I could not go up for communion at my son’s First Communion when the Priest mentioned it. I then researched the issue at the Vatican’s website and learned that, although I know the full meaning of the Eucharist, that I am not eligible. One argument was that it would be a waste to give me Communion. I also learned that divorced Catholic women had become ineligible - this made me sad because I am attorney that has helped Catholic women through divorces - they need Communion and cannot get it because they have become unworthy. I’m not trying to rip the Catholic Church - rather, I love the Catholic Church. I noted that some of the posts get a little competitive regarding the Catholic spouse vs. the Protestant spouse. I think that approach is ill-suited for a successful relationship. My wife and I have had many theological discussions but we don’t get angry about it. It still bugs me that I get a “Blessing” rather than communion but my hope is that God knows what’s in my heart. I actually do have a question here: How can a Protestant father and husband lead his Catholic family? Thanks!
 
FinlanderPhil said:
Dear Friends: My Catholic wife and I just celebrated our 20th Anniversary together. I was raised Methodist and then did an adult-choice to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Since my wife was raised Catholic, I agreed to both be married in a Catholic Church and for our son to be raised as a Catholic. I typically attend Catholic Mass with my family. I had originally ignorantly participated in the Eucharist. I was honestly shocked to the bone to first learn that I could not go up for communion at my son’s First Communion when the Priest mentioned it. I then researched the issue at the Vatican’s website and learned that, although I know the full meaning of the Eucharist, that I am not eligible. One argument was that it would be a waste to give me Communion. I also learned that divorced Catholic women had become ineligible - this made me sad because I am attorney that has helped Catholic women through divorces - they need Communion and cannot get it because they have become unworthy. I’m not trying to rip the Catholic Church - rather, I love the Catholic Church. I noted that some of the posts get a little competitive regarding the Catholic spouse vs. the Protestant spouse. I think that approach is ill-suited for a successful relationship. My wife and I have had many theological discussions but we don’t get angry about it. It still bugs me that I get a “Blessing” rather than communion but my hope is that God knows what’s in my heart. I actually do have a question here: How can a Protestant father and husband lead his Catholic family? Thanks!
Click to expand...
Part of the question you have is simple, continue to be a good Christian. The next part might be more complicated, but it is to study what the Catholic Church teaches and
WHY they teach it. Keep a catechism on hand. Then, pray, pray, pray.
As to what you learned about divorced Catholic women becoming ineligible to receive
communion, are you sure it wasn’t "divorced Catholic women who remarry without receiving an annulment "?
 
A Catholic is obliged to do his best to bring up the children in the Catholic faith. Bringing a child up in two religions is madness, and in any case indifferentism is out of the question. A Protestand parent can have a meaningful role in the religious education of a Catholic child, but how are you going to tell the Protestant to peel off the Protestant layer in religious instructions? What if the Protestand parent is asked for more information by the child and the child decides it likes the Protestant version more?
 
I love it (no sarcasm here) when a distinguished member calls my 20 year interfaith marriage “madness”. I think the big difference is that I consider Catholics, Methodists, Lutherans, etc etc all Christian Churches who believe the same crucial thing. I also believe that it is only the evil one who delights when Christian churches bicker among themselves. We are all parts of the same Body of Christ. I love all Christian Churches - who am I to Judge?
 
FinlanderPhil said:
I love it (no sarcasm here) when a distinguished member calls my 20 year interfaith marriage “madness”.
Click to expand...
Red herring. I never called your interfaith marriage madness. I called it madness to bring a child up in two religions.
 
FinlanderPhil said:
I love it (no sarcasm here) when a distinguished member calls my 20 year interfaith marriage “madness”. I think the big difference is that I consider Catholics, Methodists, Lutherans, etc etc all Christian Churches who believe the same crucial thing. I also believe that it is only the evil one who delights when Christian churches bicker among themselves. We are all parts of the same Body of Christ. I love all Christian Churches - who am I to Judge?
Click to expand...
👍

My intended is not Catholic but he went to Catholic schools so his knowledge is pretty solid. I am also not cradle Catholic so we meet in the middle.
 
Thanks for the clarification. For humor sake, I’ll adjust my comment that I love it when a distinguished member calls the interfaith raising of my 14 year old Catholic son “madness”. I wish you could meet him! He loves Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church. Two different religions? I contend that our family have the same religion: Christianity. As opposed to 2 different religions for example: a Christian married to a Muslim, Hindu, etc. etc. It’s very doable to have a same religion, but with different parts of the same body of Christ in the household. Don’t get me wrong, there are challenges and it does depend very much on the non-Catholic member. I personally do not believe that a non-Catholic Christian should pull a dedicated life-long Catholic away from the Catholic Church. We openly discuss Catholic issues and other non-Catholic Christian issues. My pastor has a Phd in religious studies; was a long term professor of Theology at a local Christian college and has written several well known books. I am welcomed in our local Catholic Church (although I get “blessed” rather than the Eucharist) and my family is welcomed at my Church. They are allowed to take communion there (nobody is excluded) but I realize they are not allowed to do so under the Vatican rules
 
Regarding a prior post where it was stated that interfaith marriages success depends on the non-Catholic not changing (I agree) but, if the other spouse does “bend”, it shows a lack of faith on the non-Catholic so the marriage shouldn’t happen. I agree that it could be that way. Potential marriage partners should determine if they have similar Christian faith and they should discuss how the Catholic religion will be handled. However, you cannot put everybody out there in that same box. The reason is that: If the other party “bends” to make the interfaith marriage work, it might mean that that non-Catholic has tremendous faith. Again, all this needs to be thought about, prayed about and discussed prior to the marriage.
 
Syncretism is not good. One can’t just design a new religion for a child or try to make a child both a Catholic and a Lutheran, for example. There are fewer points of contention than with a Muslim, granted, but there is still enough of them. And once again, truths of faith are not relative. A Catholic is not free to syncretise.
 
Well, the negativity has now displaced the humor. However, I’m still willing to have a discourse about this. You’re correct that a Catholic should not syncretize as in your examples. However, who ever said anything about designing a new religion for the child? (The Church of Fonzy?) And, who has discussed even the bizarre idea of making a child both a Catholic and a Lutheran (for example)? Your ending proclamation that a Catholic is not free to syncretize could be interpreted, along with your prior comments, that you believe inter-faith marriages are wrong and cannot succeed. If so, you can continue to believe that but you would be wrong. Syncretism: The attempted union of different religions: I agree that this is not allowed (and should not be allowed) in the Catholic church. However, accept it or not, there are millions of devoted Christians who also love Christ from other denominations who, when they are all put together with the Catholic Church, are all separate parts (not syncretized) of the same body of Christ. You are correct, therefore, that an eye should not try to be an ear - nor should an eye and an ear try to meld together to be a combo eye/ear. Likewise, in my family, there are Christian faiths with two parts of the body of Christ put together to love Jesus and to fight our common enemy. By the way, the origin of the word syncretize comes from: a united front of 2 opposing parties against a common foe (the enemy). So, in it’s original meaning the 2 parties neither create a new religion nor have a child do both religions. My son is very comfortable being a Catholic and he knows his father supports that 100%. If you still have objections to this, you are in contradiction with the Holy See which does bless and marry interfaith couples. The key is that there are possible problems with inter-faith marriages, but they can be addressed with no threat to the Catholic faith and growth of the spouse and the child. Unfortunately, there are also problems with joint catholic marriages. Since the Vatican allows inter-faith marriages, shouldn’t the Catholic members follow suit? While you certainly don’t need to promote them - and you can even advise against them, should you, on the other hand, go against the Vatican and outright oppose every case? I promise you that such a mindset is being overly broad & judgmental. The interfaith marriage of one couple does not equate to the next couple. Also, please keep in mind that the majority of these interfaith marriages have gone through a Catholic wedding ceremony and, thus, the marriage has been consecrated by God. I think that it is fine to debate the issue, but our thoughts and opinions should never seek to deny what God has approved.
 
chevalier said:
A Catholic is obliged to do his best to bring up the children in the Catholic faith. Bringing a child up in two religions is madness, and in any case indifferentism is out of the question. A Protestand parent can have a meaningful role in the religious education of a Catholic child, but how are you going to tell the Protestant to peel off the Protestant layer in religious instructions? What if the Protestand parent is asked for more information by the child and the child decides it likes the Protestant version more?
Click to expand...
When my Catholic son asks me questions about religious matters, I usually start out by saying, “The Catholic Church teaches that…” and I can usually answer his question. Because he is Catholic, I have no qualms about that. Sometimes I have to say, “I don’t know that one, ask your mother.”

I think we all have to realize that our children will grow up and make decisions for themselves. If my son will be a practicing Catholic as an adult, that will be fine with me. Further, I would prefer he was a practicing Christian of any kind rather than non-practicing.
 
Well said Masuwerte. I just noticed my ranking as a “Trial Membership”. Looking at my rants for the last few days I guess I’ll never make a Junior Membership. See you all down the trail!🙂
 
FinlanderPhil said:
Well said Masuwerte. I just noticed my ranking as a “Trial Membership”. Looking at my rants for the last few days I guess I’ll never make a Junior Membership. See you all down the trail!🙂
Click to expand...
Anyone with 6 posts is listed as having a “Trial Membership”. Don’t take it personally.
 
Thank you for your kind comment. Actually, I was really only poking fun at myself. Although I am new to this group, I am very impressed and I think it is so important for the future of the Catholic church to have this resource available to allow young and old to learn; express themselves, etc.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top