Catholic Annulment: enlighten me

[moto5150]

Where do we draw the line between seeking annulment as a quest for truth, and seeking annulment as a form of convenience to stay in good graces with the church??

My wife and I were married in a protestant church, both making a public stand for Jesus Christ, and promising before witnesses, family, and spiritual counsel alike, to hold to our vows, for better or for worse. We acknoledged our lack of ‘understanding’, on the human level for the true meaning of love, just as we all should do prior to marriage (after all anyone who says they have a solid grasp on true sacrificial love and full commitment is likely one who is furthest from truly understanding it). Behold, the troubles came, as we were promised in scripture…

My wife left because she did not want to continue through the difficulties of marriage. She filed for civil divorce, citing “Irreconcilable Differences”. An easy way out, at the advice of her mother, who is on her third or fourth marriage. There was nothing unusual or out of the ordinary that occurred in our relationship…No adultery, no addictions, no abuse, etc… We had typical financial struggles and little bouts of arguing and disagreeing. She has since found a man who is highly regarded in the Catholic Church - a motivational Catholic speaker who is highly involved in Catholic outreach and various ministries. In her attempts to be open with me and reconcile recently, she has disclosed to me that only two days after our divorce was final, the two of them were in bed together.

He has since convinced her to become Catholic (from baptist). Not only has this man ruined his witness, but is now involved himself with my children, and convinced my ex-wife, as she has frequently desired reconcilliation with me, that our marriage was never valid, and reconcilliation would be wrong. She is seeking annulment from our previous marriage, while still dabbling in reconcilliation. I am fighting the process, as by the Church’s definition, our marriage was valid. Yet here I am defending it to the very organization who claims to value family and marriage more than any other.

I hope you can understand my frustration and lack of faith in the institution that will so freely release someone from vows made, in a clear state of mind, to allow the person to pursue ‘a new relationship’ and be okay in the eyes of the Church. All in the name of Jesus? What was Jesus’ heart when discussing divorce? Why is the Catholic Church processing 60,000 annulments per year? Why is it that the American Catholic Church, who composes 5% of the Catholic population, approves 80% of Catholic annulments worldwide? Why is it that nearly 95% of annulments are granted? And of those appealed, nearly 90% are overturned outside of the American Church? Don’t believe me? Reasearch it.

Also, please enlighten me.

 

[Teneas]

Where do we draw the line between seeking annulment as a quest for truth, and seeking annulment as a form of convenience to stay in good graces with the church??

My wife and I were married in a protestant church, both making a public stand for Jesus Christ, and promising before witnesses, family, and spiritual counsel alike, to hold to our vows, for better or for worse. We acknoledged our lack of ‘understanding’, on the human level for the true meaning of love, just as we all should do prior to marriage (after all anyone who says they have a solid grasp on true sacrificial love and full commitment is likely one who is furthest from truly understanding it). Behold, the troubles came, as we were promised in scripture…

My wife left because she did not want to continue through the difficulties of marriage. She filed for civil divorce, citing “Irreconcilable Differences”. An easy way out, at the advice of her mother, who is on her third or fourth marriage. There was nothing unusual or out of the ordinary that occurred in our relationship…No adultery, no addictions, no abuse, etc… We had typical financial struggles and little bouts of arguing and disagreeing. She has since found a man who is highly regarded in the Catholic Church - a motivational Catholic speaker who is highly involved in Catholic outreach and various ministries. In her attempts to be open with me and reconcile recently, she has disclosed to me that only two days after our divorce was final, the two of them were in bed together.

He has since convinced her to become Catholic (from baptist). Not only has this man ruined his witness, but is now involved himself with my children, and convinced my ex-wife, as she has frequently desired reconcilliation with me, that our marriage was never valid, and reconcilliation would be wrong. She is seeking annulment from our previous marriage, while still dabbling in reconcilliation. I am fighting the process, as by the Church’s definition, our marriage was valid. Yet here I am defending it to the very organization who claims to value family and marriage more than any other.

I hope you can understand my frustration and lack of faith in the institution that will so freely release someone from vows made, in a clear state of mind, to allow the person to pursue ‘a new relationship’ and be okay in the eyes of the Church. All in the name of Jesus? What was Jesus’ heart when discussing divorce? Why is the Catholic Church processing 60,000 annulments per year? Why is it that the American Catholic Church, who composes 5% of the Catholic population, approves 80% of Catholic annulments worldwide? Why is it that nearly 95% of annulments are granted? And of those appealed, nearly 90% are overturned outside of the American Church? Don’t believe me? Reasearch it.

Also, please enlighten me.

While I can’t answer all your questions, I can perhaps give you some piece of mind. The Church will not say your marriage was invalid, if it was valid. If you were both baptized, married by a pastor/God, had witnesses, and there was no real abuse as you say, then I doubt she gets an annulment. They can take YEARS and YEARS to actually get, and in some cases, never go through.

I got an annulment from my first wife, but we were married by the JoP, she was never baptized, and there was a HUGE history of drugs, abuse, and the rest on both of our parts. It was fairly quick.

You have to realize that the Church isn’t flawless by any means. It’s an organization granted to men from Christ himself. But…granted to MEN. Some annulments that should never happen, actually do, but they will take a very very long time.

In terms of upstanding members of the Church…well…I always go back to the piece of timber in my own eyes, before ever pointing out splinters in others these days. The most outstanding speakers of any denomination, are often the worst sinners at some point. St. Paul, Peter, Matthew…to name a few.

I hope it helped some, I know I didn’t get all technical, but I don’t know any real technical answers to give. I would however like to offer you some advice, from one divorced father/husband, to another. Live your life to the best of your ability, offer the rest up to God, and in the end all those that do wrong, will be judged, and you will see the fruit of their sins.

Peace and all good things,

Matt/Ten

 

[mark_a]

Where do we draw the line between seeking annulment as a quest for truth, and seeking annulment as a form of convenience to stay in good graces with the church??

My wife and I were married in a protestant church, both making a public stand for Jesus Christ, and promising before witnesses, family, and spiritual counsel alike, to hold to our vows, for better or for worse. We acknoledged our lack of ‘understanding’, on the human level for the true meaning of love, just as we all should do prior to marriage (after all anyone who says they have a solid grasp on true sacrificial love and full commitment is likely one who is furthest from truly understanding it). Behold, the troubles came, as we were promised in scripture…

My wife left because she did not want to continue through the difficulties of marriage. She filed for civil divorce, citing “Irreconcilable Differences”. An easy way out, at the advice of her mother, who is on her third or fourth marriage. There was nothing unusual or out of the ordinary that occurred in our relationship…No adultery, no addictions, no abuse, etc… We had typical financial struggles and little bouts of arguing and disagreeing. She has since found a man who is highly regarded in the Catholic Church - a motivational Catholic speaker who is highly involved in Catholic outreach and various ministries. In her attempts to be open with me and reconcile recently, she has disclosed to me that only two days after our divorce was final, the two of them were in bed together.

He has since convinced her to become Catholic (from baptist). Not only has this man ruined his witness, but is now involved himself with my children, and convinced my ex-wife, as she has frequently desired reconcilliation with me, that our marriage was never valid, and reconcilliation would be wrong. She is seeking annulment from our previous marriage, while still dabbling in reconcilliation. I am fighting the process, as by the Church’s definition, our marriage was valid. Yet here I am defending it to the very organization who claims to value family and marriage more than any other.

I know nothing of annulments. But as a fellow human being, I’m on your “side” as it is presented here.

I hope you can understand my frustration and lack of faith in the institution that will so freely release someone from vows made, in a clear state of mind, to allow the person to pursue ‘a new relationship’ and be okay in the eyes of the Church. All in the name of Jesus? What was Jesus’ heart when discussing divorce?

Annulment tribunals do the best they can, but are imperfect. At some point, they will probably contact you. I would give them the facts about your marriage just as you have done here.

Annulments are not about placing blame. An annulment could be recommended by a tribunal even if your wife was the “cause” of the nullity of the marriage.

Why is the Catholic Church processing 60,000 annulments per year? Why is it that the American Catholic Church, who composes 5% of the Catholic population, approves 80% of Catholic annulments worldwide? Why is it that nearly 95% of annulments are granted? And of those appealed, nearly 90% are overturned outside of the American Church? Don’t believe me? Reasearch it.

These are all good questions that many American Catholics are very concerned about. We know that we are in a culture of killing that effects even the most fundamental unit of society, the family. The smoke of satan has even entered the Church.

Pray for your wife. Pray even for her new man, that he comes to his senses.

All sympathy and blessings to you.

 

[Jean_1958]

Hi moto5150,

Here is a book that I highly recommend to anyone wanting a better understanding of the church’s annulment process and its teaching on marriage:

amazon.com/Annulment-Wedding-Church-Declare-Marriage/dp/0809138441/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268283544&sr=1-1

A very painfull time for you and your family. I will pray for you.

Jean

 

[moto5150]

I am very blessed by the response I’ve recieved here. Thankyou to those who responded. To be honest, I had my fighting gloves on (if you couldn’t tell by the composition of the first note). I was waiting to hear all these rebuttals. These responses, however, have shown objectivity, and I thank you for that.

 

[YADA]

moto5150,

I understand your angst and the other posters have provided some good information. I know a man [Lutheran] whose marriage to another Lutheran was found valid and an annulment was not found …so I know that many couples who have civilly divorced and submitted their marriages to the scrutiny of the church are not automatically given a ‘free pass’ …

You might consider this … if that active ‘catholic motavational speaker’ involved with your wife was an active ‘protestant motovational speaker’ they could already have married in a church recognized, sanctioned and accepted second marriage already …

Does it not give you pause that the various protestant faiths accept civil divorce and remarraige without question? … they would even accept marriage, divorce, remarriage, divorce and remarriage …

As for your statistics … you provide no source or support …

From the 2005 Catholic Almanac the 2002 statistics are:

Marriage statistics for 2002:
– Catholic marriages worldwide: 3,384,730
– Between Catholics: 3,103,505
– Mixed marriages: 281,225

Annulment statistics for 2002
– Annulment hearings, worldwide: 56,246
– Annulments granted, worldwide: 46,092
Annulments by continent:
-Africa: 343
-Oceania: 676
-Asia: 1,562
-Europe: 8,855
-North America: 30,968
-South and Central America: 5,688

And as you know many of these annulments would involve two non-catholics … and the North American stats innclude the United States, Canada and Mexico.

Are there more requests from the United States, Europe - IOW the ‘developed nations’ … Yes

Why? … the reasons are complex and many … Just a few of which might be …
1] more education, greater literacy means that the catholic population has greater knowledge of and ability to seek the decision;
2] greater diversity of faiths
which leads 3] to more mixed marriages;
4] a society with more ‘free time’ and greater wealth …
5] a society that has less focus on God and family and more focus on individual wants and needs * vs the 'family …

But statistically …

Total 56246 Annulmnets applied for / Total 3,384,730 marriages perfomed = 1.6617% global annulment to marriage rate [and as noted the ‘pool’ of annulment applicants is far greater then the ‘catholic’ community]

Worldwide: Annulments granted 46,092 / 56,246 applied for = 81.9% granted
Which could illustrate a liberal policy towards granting a decree of nullity but could also ba a a function of initial screenings eliminating cases that were clearly sacramental in nature and that would not receive an affirmative decision. It could even be influenced by the fact that those who believe their marriages were sacramental in nature fail to consider an annulment application in the first place [especially where one or more of the spuses was cahtolic].

One piece of information that I have never seen noted in these ‘annulment applications’ is the number [or percent] of them that were 100% non-catholic at the time of the initial marriage and/or at the time of the initial marriage and at the time of the civil divorce …*

 

[moto5150]

YADA:

I will do my best to piece together my works cited page. While I do greatly respect your opinion on this matter, and feel that you do present some valid points, I will say this:

I am equally displeased with the protestant approach to divorce and remarriage. I am by no means justifying the protestant church’s dealings with divorce and remarriage, just as I assume based off the intelligence that you have displayed in your post, that you are not blindly justifying the Catholic church’s massive role in declaring marriages invalid under the grounds that ‘the poor folks just didn’t realize what they were in for’, and meanwhile, explain to their children that they were conceived outside of wedlock.

To your points on “Why”

1. more education, greater literacy means that the catholic population has greater knowledge of and ability to seek the decision
   greater education and literacy also means that the catholic population can find ‘loop-holes’.
   example: Canon 1095: (2) who suffer from grave lack of discretion of judgment concerning essential matrimonial rights and duties which are to be mutually given and accepted - vague at best… a loophole for the ‘educated’, as you put it
2. greater diversity of faiths
   greater degree of misinterpretation and misunderstanding
3. …leading to more mixed marriages
   also leading to more loop-holes that discredit the marriage bond
4. a society with more ‘free time’ and greater wealth
   a society with ‘idle hands’ and the ‘root of evil’ … agreed, however, generalizing that wealthy americans who have free time also have invalid marriages is incorrect
5. a society that has less focus on God and family and more focus on individual wants and needs * vs the 'family
   find me one completely selfless marriage, and I will show you two people lying to your face. We’re humans. All marriages have issues - if these are one of your support pillars for annulments, thanks for making my point so clear.*

 

[twopekinguys]

I am going to throw my 2 cents in here, as I have had some experience with the annullment process.

Some things to keep in mind is that every case are"

1. Every case treated individually. There is no “cookie cutter” approach to the process.
2. The church operates under the assumption that all marriages are valid until it is proven otherwise.
3. Once a case has been reviewed at the Diocesean level, and a decision has been rendered, it is then sent to the Archdiocese, for confirmation or rejection of the findings. It could also end up being sent to Rome for a final decision.

Let me give you an example or two:

If Mr and Mrs. Smith file for an annullment, and it is granted at the Diocesean level, it is then sent to the Archdiocese. If the Archdiocese agrees with the original decision, the annullment is granted.

If the Archdiocese disagrees with the first decision, they have 2 options. Option 1, send it back to the Diocese for additional work.(they may have overlooked something) 2. Send it to Rome for a final decision.

In our Diocese (Diocese of Peoria, IL) the average “uncontested” annullment can take 18-24 months before any decision is rendered. Then add on the time in the Archdiocese (Chicago), you’re looking at 2-3 years. So you can imagine how long a "contested’ one can take. If the case ends up in Rome, you’re looking at an even larger timeframe.

As you can see, the Church doesn’t take these cases lightly. I have even seen annullments come back with restrictions placed on them. I’ve seen them come with waiting periods before remarriage (which can help promote reconcilliation). I have even seen stipulations for councelling (again, can help reconcilliation).

I have learned over the years, there are 3 sides to every story. Yours, theirs, and the truth. Which is usually somewhere in between.

Best of luck.

One last thought. Even if the annullment is granted, you have a right to appeal

 

[twopekinguys]

I am equally displeased with the protestant approach to divorce and remarriage. I am by no means justifying the protestant church’s dealings with divorce and remarriage, just as I assume based off the intelligence that you have displayed in your post, that you are not blindly justifying the Catholic church’s massive role in declaring marriages invalid under the grounds that ‘the poor folks just didn’t realize what they were in for’, and meanwhile, explain to their children that they were conceived outside of wedlock.
.

I just wanted to address the portion of your post that I have bolded.

An annullment (if granted) in no way indicates that the children were born out of wedlock. That is a “civil” issue, and the church’s decison in now way affects that.

 

[moto5150]

twopek, thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut. It was recently brought to my attention that the initial filing of the decree of nullity was given to a church in Los Angeles (neither of us are anywhere near Los Angeles), because of a conversation had with someone relatively involved in the process who stated that he could have it done more quickly. Of course, this was the result of a little tugging on the part of her new ‘friend’, who apparently has connections. Almost sounds too odd to be true, but I got this straight from the horses mouth. Our process has only just begun within the past few months, and a decision is to be rendered within about 30 days. making the process a total of about 4 months. Interesting.

 

[twopekinguys]

twopek, thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut. It was recently brought to my attention that the initial filing of the decree of nullity was given to a church in Los Angeles (neither of us are anywhere near Los Angeles), because of a conversation had with someone relatively involved in the process who stated that he could have it done more quickly. Of course, this was the result of a little tugging on the part of her new ‘friend’, who apparently has connections. Almost sounds too odd to be true, but I got this straight from the horses mouth. Our process has only just begun within the past few months, and a decision is to be rendered within about 30 days. making the process a total of about 4 months. Interesting.

I will tell you that our Diocese is, how do I put this delicately…ummm…overly conservative when it comes to these issues. The Archdiocese of Chicago is the same way. Whiich is a good thing.

In the past, I have heard of people going outside of ourr Diocese, to another one that may be more liberal. That has come to a screeching halt in our area. (Of course, you are always going to have people who try to beat the system.) In a perfect world, or perfect system, (which we are obviously not a part of) the case should be sent to the home Diocese of the person(s) filing for the annulment.

I do know of 2 cases where someone tried this, and those tribunals returned them to the jurisdication of their home Diocese.

I would like to point out, that even though you are not Catholic, you have a right to be heard on the issue(s), and your contributions to the process carry equal weight. They don’t just ignore your testimony because you are not Catholic.

I would suggest contacting a local priest, explain the situation, and tell him that you are willing to fight the annullment. If he is unwilling, or unable to assist you, contact the Diocese that covers your town/city. Ask to speak to someone in the marriage tribunal. They will put you in contact with someone who can help you.

Even in the unlikely event that you don’t contact someone at the tribunal, there is a person there that is actually acting in your behalf. He is called the “Defender of The Bond.”

Here is a very good link that could answer alot of your questions about the annullment process. Please keep in mind that it is very basic, and can’t cover every issue.

catholicnh.org/family-life/annulments/

It is refreshing to see someone who has taken their marriage vows seriously. We wish you the best.

 

[puzzleannie]

Where do we draw the line between seeking annulment as a quest for truth, and seeking annulment as a form of convenience to stay in good graces with the church??
Also, please enlighten me.

anyone, even a non-Catholic whose marriage has irretrievably broken down, and who is convinced or believes that no valid marriage took place, may petition the Canon Law tribunal of his Catholic diocese to investigate the circumstances which pertained at the time of the contract. If this person seeks to marry a Catholic he must do so, as the Church considers marriages between two non-Catholics as valid until proven otherwise.

There is no way an adequate judgement or advice for a specific situation can be offered on this forum, because all the relevant facts cannot be known. That is why it takes a full legal investigation and process to establish those facts.

Someone who is convinced his marriage is indeed valid, even though the other party has taken action to leave the bond, civil divorce etc., would not want to petition for an annulment investigation. He might very well however want to respond to the questionairre if the other party initiates this, because he has the right to tell his side of the story and relate the full facts as he knows them, and moreover, to suggest further witnesses who can attest to those facts. The tribunal will be anxious to receive any evidence in defense of the bond.

Why is the Catholic Church processing 60,000 annulments per year? Why is it that the American Catholic Church, who composes 5% of the Catholic population, approves 80% of Catholic annulments worldwide? Why is it that nearly 95% of annulments are granted? And of those appealed, nearly 90% are overturned outside of the American Church? Don’t believe me? Reasearch it.

well your situation does not fit the mold because it does not related to 2 Catholics who were not entering into a valid marriage. but I am willing to bet my bippy that the fine upstanding lad she is involved with has.

if 60M annulments were granted–and understand the language, these are decrees of nullity, a legal finding that no valid marriage has ever existed, NOT a legal action to annul a valid marriage–then 60M couples entered into marriage without having the necessary intent or capacity to contract a valid marriage. Is that sad state of affairs? definitely. It is no accident however that many of the same Catholics (and the bewilderment of a non-CAtholic like yourself is understandable) who bemoan this statistic also rail against the attempts of the Church, parish, diocese or pastor to insist on some form of marriage preparation.

YOu do well do bring up the fact that every case is automatically appealed once, and may be appealed all the way to Rome, and by no means does every case automatically obtain the decree.

Also you have to understand that a lot of those 60M cases were the much simpler process of a marriage invalid due to lack of form (Catholic did not follow Church law), not full annulment investigations.

Yes you are quite right the statistics point to abysmal catechesis, understanding and intent of many Catholics regarding the sacrament of matrimony and the vocation of marriage.

 

[twopekinguys]

twopek, thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut. It was recently brought to my attention that the initial filing of the decree of nullity was given to a church in Los Angeles (neither of us are anywhere near Los Angeles), because of a conversation had with someone relatively involved in the process who stated that he could have it done more quickly. Of course, this was the result of a little tugging on the part of her new ‘friend’, who apparently has connections. Almost sounds too odd to be true, but I got this straight from the horses mouth. Our process has only just begun within the past few months, and a decision is to be rendered within about 30 days. making the process a total of about 4 months. Interesting.

I can see two possible explainations for such a quick decision. But these are only possibilities, since I/we don’t have all of the details.

1. Someone at the Diocese where this has been filed, is not doing their job. (I really hope that isn’t the case)
2. It could be that this process is falling under a “defect of form”, or “lack of form” provision. In order for a defect or lack of form to be issued, one of the parties in the marriage would have to have been a baptized Catholic, and married outside of the Church.
   The Church requires that all individuals who have been baptized Catholic (whether they are practicing or not) to be married in the Church, unless they received a dispensation from the Bishop.

Now, if memory serves me correctly, you said you and your wife were practicing protestants. By any chance had either of you been baptized Catholic prior to your marriage? Again, it doesn’t matter if you were practicing, it matters if eith of you has a Catholic Baptismal Certificate.

If there is a Catholic Baptismal Certificate, and you weren’t married in a Catholic Church, then they would be pursuing a defect, or lack of form Declaration of Nullity. If that is the case, those can be, and usually are granted pretty swiftly. The only thing that usually delays those cases is if there was a dispensation (permission) from the Bishop to be married outside of the Church.

These are just a couple of the possibilities. I am sure there are more.

 

[Marie5890]

Moto…prayers for you and the annulment situation…

I know I would be wanting to spit bricks if I were in your shoes…Its a mockery as you have explained it…

God Bless you that you were serious and took your vows sincerely.

 

[moto5150]

Great responses here. Twopek, I appreciate your objectivity. I wish the protestant churches were a little more (okay, a lot more) concerned with marriage, and remarriage. Maybe I have found myself a ministry!! I value all responses, even the opposing views. Marie, thankyou for the kind words, I am trying not to spit bricks as you put it . I will certainly take some of the advice offered here. Boy this process is no fun!

In the event that a marriage is determined to be valid, is it reasonable that the petitioner would be counseled to reconcile with his or her spouse? Im at a crossroads…Enough damage has been done that I feel I have a right to be free from this marriage, however, where does a husband’s sacrificial love end? Tough question…

 

[Just_Lurking]

Is it possible that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles is acting as the appellate tribunal for the second decision? - that would make the venue and the 30 day time period make sense.

 

[puzzleannie]

Great responses here. Twopek, I appreciate your objectivity. I wish the
In the event that a marriage is determined to be valid, is it reasonable that the petitioner would be counseled to reconcile with his or her spouse? Im at a crossroads…Enough damage has been done that I feel I have a right to be free from this marriage, however, where does a husband’s sacrificial love end? Tough question…

that is a good question, but the petition never should have been accepted had their been a possibility of reconciliation. It is important to note that the decree of nullity may be issued with a condition that must be met before one or both parties is free to marry again. Take an extreme case like mental illness, addiction or patter of abuse that existed at the time of marriage and was not revealed, that would have to be resolved and healed through professional help before that person was free to marry again.

 

[moto5150]

Is it possible that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles is acting as the appellate tribunal for the second decision? - that would make the venue and the 30 day time period make sense.

This is the first go-round with the Decree of Nullity. Neither of us were baptized in the Catholic church, however, both of us were baptized in the protestant church.

The process just began back in November I believe. My first contact with my representative was in late December…

 

[NDfan]

Also, please enlighten me.

Moto I’m sorry you have to go through this. I personally had to go through it with my first wife. We both were Catholic at the time and I had a representative from the Catholic Church contact me after my wife had started the annulment process. I expressed that I did not agree with the annulment because I would never say that our marriage was invalid. The response I received was a little frustrating because the Priest basically said “well if you get married again you’re gonna wanna do it within the church right?” My response was well yes of course but if the church doesn’t allow me to marry within the Catholic Church then I can’t obviously do anything about that. His response was “yes you can if an annulment is granted”.

After speaking to a nun who was my representative I was adamant that I had taken a vow and would never say that my vow was invalid. She over the course of several verbal interactions conveyed to me that she doubted an annulment would be granted because there were no grounds. We covered things like abuse, willingness to have children, etc. etc. All the things you covered. As it turns out my wife at the time was trying to pursue another marriage and wanted to get re-married within the Catholic Church. An annulment was never granted because there were no grounds.

I honestly believe the reason that the percent of annulments granted these days is so high is because people don’t take marriage as serious as they should. That’s why more than 50% of them fail. Usually when annulments are sought out both parties are in agreement and they will usually hit on something so that the church grants it. I would say please try to have confidence that it will be handled appropriately and if your wife is truly considering reconciliation than the Catholic Church will never grant an annulment. The person representing your wife should uncover this in their verbal interviews and be quite frank that she should reconcile. I pray that things work out for you.

PEACE Brother.

 

[moto5150]

Moto I’m sorry you have to go through this. I personally had to go through it with my first wife. We both were Catholic at the time and I had a representative from the Catholic Church contact me after my wife had started the annulment process. I expressed that I did not agree with the annulment because I would never say that our marriage was invalid. The response I received was a little frustrating because the Priest basically said “well if you get married again you’re gonna wanna do it within the church right?” My response was well yes of course but if the church doesn’t allow me to marry within the Catholic Church then I can’t obviously do anything about that. His response was “yes you can if an annulment is granted”.

After speaking to a nun who was my representative I was adamant that I had taken a vow and would never say that my vow was invalid. She over the course of several verbal interactions conveyed to me that she doubted an annulment would be granted because there were no grounds. We covered things like abuse, willingness to have children, etc. etc. All the things you covered. As it turns out my wife at the time was trying to pursue another marriage and wanted to get re-married within the Catholic Church. An annulment was never granted because there were no grounds.

I honestly believe the reason that the percent of annulments granted these days is so high is because people don’t take marriage as serious as they should. That’s why more than 50% of them fail. Usually when annulments are sought out both parties are in agreement and they will usually hit on something so that the church grants it. I would say please try to have confidence that it will be handled appropriately and if your wife is truly considering reconciliation than the Catholic Church will never grant an annulment. The person representing your wife should uncover this in their verbal interviews and be quite frank that she should reconcile. I pray that things work out for you.

PEACE Brother.

NDfan…Great post. Brings hope to this situation. I will continue in prayer. I am interested to hear more of your story bro. I will fight it. I have the pastor who married us on my witness list, stating that our marriage was 100% valid. We’ll see how it turns out. Thanks again my brother.