Catholic/Atheist Wedding with Hindu Celebration?

[ArimayPi]

Hello,
I’ve been searching all over the internet and can’t find a clear answer.

This is what I already know:

1. I need a dispensation to get married to a non-christian.
2. I can only be married (the act of getting married) once. Only one wedding where the couple is joined into a union (the Catholic wedding)
3. Our kids must/will be raised Catholic.
4. The Church will only consider this a natural marriage, not a sacramental one.

So, here is the issue…
Although my fiance is an Atheist, his family all lives in India and are Hindus. They obviously would want a Hindu ceremony for the marriage of their only son, and I want to respect their culture.

Is there any way to still have a Hindu celebration of our marriage with their cultural traditions without actually having a Hindu marriage (the act of becoming one union)? Like a blessing or something? And would this be ok in the Catholic church?

Do you know of the specific Hindu wedding traditions that I CAN’T do as a Catholic?

 

[Irishmom2]

Although my fiance is an Atheist, his family all lives in India and are Hindus. They obviously would want a Hindu ceremony for the marriage of their only son, and I want to respect their culture.

Do you practice your faith? I don’t understand why you would want to respect their culture but not your own religion. If your fiancé is an atheist, wouldn’t he rather respect your beliefs than have a Hindu wedding he doesn’t believe in?

As a Catholic, have you given any thought to how your children will be raised?

 

[Vico]

…
Do you know of the specific Hindu wedding traditions that I CAN’T do as a Catholic?

The diocesan Bishop may be asked for a dispensation from this obligation of “the canonical form of marriage” when marrying a non-Catholic and there is legitimate reason to not have a Catholic ceremony. But only one celebration is to be done.

The reason it is not sacramental marriage is that can only be between two that a both baptized. The Church, therefore, discourages non-sacramental marriages. You will need to make certain proises and go through marriage preparation. For the dispensation is only to be granted conditionally:

CIC Can. 1125 The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:
1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;
2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;
3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.

Can. 1142 For a just cause, the Roman Pontiff can dissolve a non-consummated marriage between baptized persons or between a baptized party and a non-baptized party at the request of both parties or of one of them, even if the other party is unwilling.

 

[ArimayPi]

Hi Irishmom2, thanks for the response.

Yes, I am a devout Catholic and I’ve made it clear to him that I will raise our kids Catholic.

I very much respect my religion, that’s why I’m asking this question in the first place. The issue with the Hindu celebration stems from also wanting to respect the family that I am marrying into. He is not Hindu, but his family is. I know that I can’t have an actual Hindu wedding, but they have MANY wedding traditions, not just religiously Hindu, but also culturally Indian. I’m trying to figure out which of these traditions I can participate in without jeopardizing my Catholic faith or invalidating the Catholic wedding.

 

[ArimayPi]

ArimayPi:

…
Do you know of the specific Hindu wedding traditions that I CAN’T do as a Catholic?

The diocesan Bishop may be asked for a dispensation from this obligation of “the canonical form of marriage” when marrying a non-Catholic and there is legitimate reason to not have a Catholic ceremony. But only one celebration is to be done.

Thanks Vico,

I plan to have the actual wedding in the Catholic Church, but I’m wondering about the possibility of having a 2nd “celebration” in India that honors Indian/Hindu traditions. My whole catholic family is in the United States and his whole Hindu family is in India, so it’s impossible to have just one ceremony and both families in attendance.

This is the law that I’m more or less asking clarification for:

Can.1127
3. It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent . Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the Catholic assistant and a non-Catholic minister, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties .

Does this mean that a 2nd Indian/Hindu celebration would be ok in the eyes of the Church as long as it doesn’t include “giving matrimonial consent”? It still seems vague to me.

 

[snarflemike]

IMO, the biggest problem here is not the relatives, but the fact that your fiancé is an atheist. Having a father who practices the faith is the biggest single factor in passing the faith onto the children (moreso than having a mother who practices the faith). I would ask you, a devout Catholic, to think long and hard about marrying an atheist.

 

[ArimayPi]

IMO, the biggest problem here is not the relatives, but the fact that your fiancé is an atheist. Having a father who practices the faith is the biggest single factor in passing the faith onto the children (moreso than having a mother who practices the faith). I would ask you, a devout Catholic, to think long and hard about marrying an atheist.

Thanks Snarflemike.

The reason I continued to date my fiance is that early on in our relationship I asked him if he was open to seeking Truth. I believe that the Catholic faith is true and that if he is willing to seek the truth then he will eventually come to realize the Catholic faith as true. I also had spiritual guidance from someone else who married an atheist. The marriage wasn’t easy, but after 15 years her husband converted.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

Is there any way to still have a Hindu celebration of our marriage with their cultural traditions without actually having a Hindu marriage (the act of becoming one union)? Like a blessing or something? And would this be ok in the Catholic church?

This is actually quite simple. You just need a dispensation from the bishop.

 

[catholiclala]

Thanks Snarflemike.

The reason I continued to date my fiance is that early on in our relationship I asked him if he was open to seeking Truth. I believe that the Catholic faith is true and that if he is willing to seek the truth then he will eventually come to realize the Catholic faith as true. I also had spiritual guidance from someone else who married an atheist. The marriage wasn’t easy, but after 15 years her husband converted.

This happens sometimes, but I wouldn’t go into the marriage expecting a conversion. Two of my Catholic friends married Atheists with the same such notions and nada. One even goes to Mass with her, but nada. He just does it to appease her and could care less. I’m a Catholic single who is considering dating non-Catholics after a long string of bad Catholic dating experiences but would never assume a non-Catholic man will convert for me. I would have to fully accept him at his word and that his beliefs are what they are and vice versa.

 

[snarflemike]

Then I wish you both all of God’s grace and blessings.

 

[Anesti33]

I believe that the Catholic faith is true and that if he is willing to seek the truth then he will eventually come to realize the Catholic faith as true.

Have you revealed this hope to your fiancé and to the priest who is preparing you both for marriage? Have you discussed the options at length with both of them?

I am sorry if I believe your hope for conversion to be a pipe dream, but honey, if I had a nickel for every instance of this, I’d be a rich man. A woman who stays in a relationship, convinced that her man will change, and stop being atheist/an addict/abusive/a manchild, is living in a fantasy world. She would do best to find a man who has resolved his fundamental flaws in a way that doesn’t require a woman to complete him.

 

[Vico]

…

Does this mean that a 2nd Indian/Hindu celebration would be ok in the eyes of the Church as long as it doesn’t include “giving matrimonial consent”? It still seems vague to me.

No giving of consent in a religious celebration. It is not clear what style of Indian/Hindu celebration you would have since there are so many cultural differences there.

I have observed a Hindu marriage celebration with the necklace and the first seven steps (Saptapadi) are taken together. The steps (circles) represent the seven principles and promises they make to each other. They look for blessings of deities. Some have a ritual offering of food to a diety on the day before as a blessing.

 

[MatthewGerardJohn]

I just read the title, I this sounds like one those bar jokes. Lol, why would y’all want a Hindu celebration?

 

[JMMJ]

Some disrespectful responses, here.

The woman asked a very specific question. Opinions on the nature of her relationship weren’t a part of that.

OP, probably best to ask your priest.

 

[Irishmom2]

I’m trying to figure out which of these traditions I can participate in without jeopardizing my Catholic faith or invalidating the Catholic wedding.

I think the best person to ask would be your parish priest. And also, speak to him about you marrying an atheist with a Hindu background. He may be able to better advise you on any problems this may cause in the future.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

Some disrespectful responses, here.

The woman asked a very specific question. Opinions on the nature of her relationship weren’t a part of that.

OP, probably best to ask your priest.

Agreed. She’s asking about a situation which the Church specifically provides for: marrying a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic ceremony. If you wouldn’t personally marry a non-Catholic, cool, but that’s not what she’s asking.

Some of these responses are CAF at its most obnoxious.

 

[TomH1]

The four points in your OP are correct.

You cannot have two marriage services as you know.

However, I do not think you are on the best forum. This is a Catholic forum so you have a slim chance of people on here being experts in Hindu religious and Indian cultural customs and practices.

Whilst your husband-to-be is an atheist he will be a cultural Hindu because I have no doubt he was raised surrounded by Hinduism and its practices. I would have thought he was the best one to answer questions about what constitutes essential elements in a Hindu marriage ceremony and others that are simply cultural customs.

You say you are getting married in the Catholic Church. I see no reason why you cannot go to India, meet his family and have some form of party or other celebration but ensuring that (i) it contains none of the components of the Hindu marriage rite and (ii) that it is simply Indian culture and does not consist of any Hindu religious rites, which, I understand, as a catholic you should not participate in.

As others have also said this would be something you really would be best discussing with your priest.

 

[Lea101]

Is there any way to still have a Hindu celebration of our marriage with their cultural traditions without actually having a Hindu marriage (the act of becoming one union)? Like a blessing or something? And would this be ok in the Catholic church?

Other issues aside:

My parents and other relatives had two weddings-one Catholic and the other Hindu.

I wasn’t aware that this was an issue-we just made sure there’s an actual Catholic wedding. Maybe it wasn’t an actual Hindu rite (I remember it being rather short) but I did remember attending to both weddings, lol.

 

[snarflemike]

Some disrespectful responses, here.

The woman asked a very specific question. Opinions on the nature of her relationship weren’t a part of that.

With age can come the wisdom that “the issue is often not the issue”. Many of us think that may apply here. There is nothing disrespectful in widening the discussion to include matters the OP may not have considered.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

With age can come the wisdom that “the issue is often not the issue”. Many of us think that may apply here. There is nothing disrespectful in widening the discussion to include matters the OP may not have considered.

Her posts here indicate that she has considered the implications of marrying a non-Catholic. It’s pretty presumptuous to spin the discussion off from what she actually asked.