Catholic Bachelor Party?

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So, my buddy is getting married and invited me up for his bachelor party and wedding. The party isn’t going to be strippers and drinking; we’re going to play golf, go water skiing, and go to a casino. This all seems very fun and acceptable, but I think I’d prefer something where I can find a rare moment to serve with all my friends and family.

In *The Art of Dying Well *St. Bellamine wrote, “we must often consider and seriously ponder the account that must be given to God of our luxury in fine houses, [gardens, carriages, servants, slendor of dress, banquets, hoarded riches], and unnecessary expeses which injure a great mulitiude of the poor and sick, who stand in need of our superfluities, and who now cry to God.”

So has anyone ever heard or concieved a charitable bachelor party? In general Christians believe that our faith is both the correct choice…but also the happier choice (most of the time). So, why couldn’t a God focused bachelor party be more fun than a bar or casino?
I don’t mean 15 guys sitting in Adoration (though since several of them would be having their first experience of adoration, it would be a great thing).
But some way to mix the corpral works of mercy with a celebration of a man entering into a marriage…that seem possible, right?

For a ref. here they are:
Feed the hungry
Give drink to the thirsty
Clothe the naked
Shelter the homeless
Visit the sick
Visit the imprisoned
Bury the dead

Just seems like it would be setting a good tone for life and a good example for those involved. Maybe a day working with all my best friends on a Habitat like activity, adding in some BBQ, and somehow getting a mass mixed in before, in the middle, or after.

Yes? No? Better/alternative ideas?
 
You are an invited guest, therefore it would be rude to suggest that your friend change his plans to something you think is appropriate. He clearly wants to spend time doing recreational activities he considers fun with people he cares about.

It is a celebration of his marriage. As the Bible says, there is a place and time for everything. There is a time for celebration and there is a time for charity.

Whether or not those two intersect at any given time is a personal decision.

Now, when it comes time for you to marry, you can have any kind of charitable-giving party you would like. It’s not a bad idea at all.

It would be poor manners to attempt to interject such an activity into your friend’s already planned party or make him feel bad about the plans that he made. I would not bring it up.
 
I think you should thank God it won’t be a stripper party and go have some fun.
 
1ke said:
You are an invited guest, therefore it would be rude to suggest that your friend change his plans to something you think is appropriate. He clearly wants to spend time doing recreational activities he considers fun with people he cares about.

It is a celebration of his marriage. As the Bible says, there is a place and time for everything. There is a time for celebration and there is a time for charity.

Whether or not those two intersect at any given time is a personal decision.

Now, when it comes time for you to marry, you can have any kind of charitable-giving party you would like. It’s not a bad idea at all.

It would be poor manners to attempt to interject such an activity into your friend’s already planned party or make him feel bad about the plans that he made. I would not bring it up.
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Ditto. My suspicion is that you are not married. One of the hidden wisdom’s in a batchelor party is that it usually contrasts the shallowness of many (not all) single lives (unrestricted freedom to be selfish and self-centered) with the greater joy that comes from being joined sacramentally with the person you love above all others, including your life-long buddies. He will enjoy the party but inside he will be glad this stage of his life is over and he is moving onto something alot more fulfilling. While he will probably enjoy golf, skiing and an occassional trip to the casino, he will do it less often and with less enthusiasm in the future.

The batchelor party symbolizes also the change in your relationship with him. He won’t call you in the middle of a ball game and say “Did you see that HR by Ichiro?”. Instead, he will just go to bed after the game and cuddle w/ his wife. If you call him, he might say “I forgot the game was on. We had gone for a walk. I’ll try to catch the reply on Sportscenter and call you on my way to work tomorrow.”

Your friend already knows that your “status” has changed. The batchelor party gives you the chance to tell him that you will miss the old times but you are happy for your friend. Go enjoy the party. It is just part of the total celebration, albiet less significant than the wedding itself.
 
1ke said:
You are an invited guest, therefore it would be rude to suggest that your friend change his plans to something you think is appropriate. He clearly wants to spend time doing recreational activities he considers fun with people he cares about.

It is a celebration of his marriage. As the Bible says, there is a place and time for everything. There is a time for celebration and there is a time for charity.

Whether or not those two intersect at any given time is a personal decision.

Now, when it comes time for you to marry, you can have any kind of charitable-giving party you would like. It’s not a bad idea at all.

It would be poor manners to attempt to interject such an activity into your friend’s already planned party or make him feel bad about the plans that he made. I would not bring it up.
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I agree. This is the first thing that comes to my mind is that since the party is not being thrown by you, you can have no control of what the party is going to be. No strippers 👍 good deal! Go and have fun! Bet on 8 black for me!

I like your ideas and think that they can be great, just wait until you are having the party and the groom is on the same page as you!
 
See, this is where editing gets me in trouble. 😃

My posts often ramble, so I try cutting them down and when I did I accidentally cut out the part saying that I am attending his party (without comment and without feeling any comment is needed) but was then lead to think of what I would want to do for mine in the future.

Hopefully this thread is salvagable, with the knowledge that the intended topic was a theoretical future bachelor party and not some Catholic idea being rammed down my buddy’s throat.
 
Smber2c said:
See, this is where editing gets me in trouble. 😃

My posts often ramble, so I try cutting them down and when I did I accidentally cut out the part saying that I am attending his party (without comment and without feeling any comment is needed) but was then lead to think of what I would want to do for mine in the future.

Hopefully this thread is salvagable, with the knowledge that the intended topic was a theoretical future bachelor party and not some Catholic idea being rammed down my buddy’s throat.
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Of course, you are free to have the batchelor party of your choice but I think that my earlier comments apply to you. A batchelor party is a “coming of age” event that signifies out with the old and in with the new. Charity is never-ending with regard to our call. I know your intentions are good.

This being said, spending the day working for the good of others prior to a celebration, I think that would be fine. But don’t deny the opportunity for your friends to have a party to send you off into your new life. You are not the bride where everything is about her. This event is not only your event but one for your friends.
 
Orionthehunter said:
Of course, you are free to have the batchelor party of your choice but I think that my earlier comments apply to you. A batchelor party is a “coming of age” event that signifies out with the old and in with the new. Charity is never-ending with regard to our call. I know your intentions are good.

This being said, spending the day working for the good of others prior to a celebration, I think that would be fine. But don’t deny the opportunity for your friends to have a party to send you off into your new life. You are not the bride where everything is about her. This event is not only your event but one for your friends.
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Orion, I appreciate your comments, and I honestly had also pondered the purpose of bachelor parties. This last hurrah of single life is just the purpose that I came to.

But I would want that last hurrah of single life to be a celebration of single life at it’s very best, and pretending that golf, gambling, or skiing are single life at it’s best…I just don’t buy that.

Again, I don’t think they are bad. Recreation and relaxation are good, necessary, and if done right serve God. But I wonder how exactly does one use this time with all the guys to honor and serve the Lord?

Jesus used meals as a time to teach and sacrifice. The Church has taught us how most of our lives greatest moments (birth, marriage, death, etc…) are meant to be ordained to God in holy sacraments.
It seems that this celebration could and even should also house God in it’s center.
 
I think Pope Pius XI provides a good balanced statement (Vigilanti Cura):

“16. Everyone will agree that recreation of body and soul, in the various forms in which this age has made it available, is a necessity to those who are wearied by the business and troubles of life, but it must be consonant with the dignity of man and the innocence of morals, and its object must not be to excite and stir leisure hours to amusements which injure the principles of morality, dignity and honour, and which give occasion for sin.”
 
Smber2c said:
Orion, I appreciate your comments, and I honestly had also pondered the purpose of bachelor parties. This last hurrah of single life is just the purpose that I came to.

But I would want that last hurrah of single life to be a celebration of single life at it’s very best, and pretending that golf, gambling, or skiing are single life at it’s best…I just don’t buy that.

Again, I don’t think they are bad. Recreation and relaxation are good, necessary, and if done right serve God. **But I wonder how exactly does one use this time with all the guys to honor and serve the Lord? **
Jesus used meals as a time to teach and sacrifice. The Church has taught us how most of our lives greatest moments (birth, marriage, death, etc…) are meant to be ordained to God in holy sacraments.
It seems that this celebration could and even should also house God in it’s center.
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I neither know your friends or you and where they are in their lives. Part of preaching the Gospel is to meet people where they are as Christ did the woman at the well. You know better than everyone what will be the right thing for you and your friends.

I feel kinda goofy advocating a celebration as I endorse your goal wholeheartedly. But the best thing about single life is the comraderie with friends. IMO, the best celebration is one that reflects the nature of the past and was consistent with how you developed comraderie and relationship.

This comraderie is the philia love for companions that Christ referred to when He called His Apostles “friend”. While we are called to continue to love our “buddies”, this love will be expressed differently, less often, and less outwardly after you get married as your focus changes to your greater love.

With regard to what I bolded above, I think you might have the impression that using leisure to celebrate and enjoy your friends doesn’t serve Christ. As Genesis quoted Pope Pius, leisure “is a necessity to those who are wearied by the business and troubles of life” but it is also consistent with our call to integrate our body and soul in activities that foster relationship/community.

Final comment: Rather than trying to turn the focus of the bachelor party to something spiritual, you might be better served to make sure your friends know your expectations regarding the day of the wedding where reverence, gratitude, and humilty need to rule the day.

No matter what you choose, I wish you the best all the days of your life. God Bless you and your future wife.
 
As a guest, you can’t change the party, only accept or decline the invitation.

If, on the occasion of your marriage, you wish to do something that you consider more noble, talk with your best man- the traditional host of the bachelor party.

At the turn of the 20th century, into the 1950s, it was not a bachelor party of ill-fame, but a bachelor dinner or supper, given by the best man. The climax was a toast to the bride by the groom, after which the glasses used were smashed, as they could never be used “for a more noble purpose” than to toast the bride.
 
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