Catholic Baptism for a non-custodial child

[willmac]

I have a 3 year child who has not been baptized. The mother is a non-practicing Catholic who clearly indicated my wishes will not be honored. She lives across country and I have no visitation rights yet. I can not afford a lawyer yet to force the issue. Do I have any inherent paternal rights that I can use to get my child baptized? Everything from the surname (hers) to all child care issues have been at her will, to my complete exclusion. She has been going to one of those fruit-loop non-mainline evangelical churches and I am do not want my child baptized in that environment outside the Church.

Thanks,
Henry

 

[rpp]

Since you are the child’s father, you absolutely have the right, within the Church, to have your child baptized. The next time you have your child for a visit, take him/her straight to a priest. The child’s mother does not have to be informed.

If you do not have visitation rights, that would probably make getting your child baptized a practical impossibility without the cooperation of the child’s mother.

 

[LilyM]

Your priest will probably ask you if your child has already been baptised, so find out if the mother has done this, if you don’t already know.

Remember that even non-Catholic baptisms are usually considered valid by the Church and cannot be repeated even by a Catholic priest for that reason.

 

[bpbasilphx]

Remember that even non-Catholic baptisms are usually considered valid by the Church and cannot be repeated even by a Catholic priest for that reason.

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Such baptisms must be performed with water in the name of the three Persons of the Trinity, invoked separately.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I have a 3 year child who has not been baptized. The mother is a non-practicing Catholic who clearly indicated my wishes will not be honored. She lives across country and I have no visitation rights yet. I can not afford a lawyer yet to force the issue. Do I have any inherent paternal rights that I can use to get my child baptized? Everything from the surname (hers) to all child care issues have been at her will, to my complete exclusion. She has been going to one of those fruit-loop non-mainline evangelical churches and I am do not want my child baptized in that environment outside the Church.

Thanks,
Henry

Legally you don’t have the ability to force anything yet. Even with shared custody the Church will not Baptize the child against her objections, except in the case of serious risk of death. Usually only if you have physical custody and the child lives with you, can you convince a pastor that the child will be raised Catholic.

 

[pnewton]

Legally you don’t have the ability to force anything yet. Even with shared custody the Church will not Baptize the child against her objections, except in the case of serious risk of death. Usually only if you have physical custody and the child lives with you, can you convince a pastor that the child will be raised Catholic.

In this particular case, this may be correct. However, if there comes a time when the non-custodial parent can have possession of the child on a regular basis, they will still baptize the child. What is needed is a reasonable expectation that the child will be nurtured in the faith. This does not have to be a full time, every Sunday event, but as long as one parent will commit to pass one the teachings of the Church, the child can be baptized.

 

[FrDavid96]

I have a 3 year child who has not been baptized. The mother is a non-practicing Catholic who clearly indicated my wishes will not be honored. She lives across country and I have no visitation rights yet. I can not afford a lawyer yet to force the issue. Do I have any inherent paternal rights that I can use to get my child baptized? Everything from the surname (hers) to all child care issues have been at her will, to my complete exclusion. She has been going to one of those fruit-loop non-mainline evangelical churches and I am do not want my child baptized in that environment outside the Church.

Thanks,
Henry

The answer is actually 2-part:

As far as parental consent is concerned, as long as at least one parent requests baptism, the child can be baptised. In other words, one parent cannot prevent it, so long as one parent wants it. Canon 868.1.1 In fact, the canon says that “the parents…or at least one of them…gives consent” You don’t even have to request it, consent is sufficient.

The other requirement (and both must be met) is that the pastor (doing the baptism) must have a “founded hope” that the infant will be raised in the Catholic faith (868.1.2) This standard is much more difficult to meet given your circumstances. It’s difficult to convince the pastor that the child will be raised in the faith, given that the only parent who has legal custody is opposed to that happening.

At the risk of being painfully obvious, given that you don’t have any visitation privileges under civil law, meeting the standard that the child will be raised in the faith is going to be almost impossible to meet.

The only small (and it is little indeed) comfort in this is that the ecclesial community which you’ve described might be unlikely to baptise infants in the first place, so for the time-being at least, you might not have to worry about the child being baptised outside the Church.

 

[JReducation]

On the other hand, if the ecclesial community to which the mother subscribes baptizes using the Trinitarian formula and passes the “test” for validity. Then you’re child will be baptized. That being said, given the mother’s preference and the fact that she is the sole custodian, he is most likely to be raised a Protestant.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[peary]

I have a 3 year child who has not been baptized. The mother is a non-practicing Catholic who clearly indicated my wishes will not be honored. She lives across country and I have no visitation rights yet. I can not afford a lawyer yet to force the issue. Do I have any inherent paternal rights that I can use to get my child baptized? Everything from the surname (hers) to all child care issues have been at her will, to my complete exclusion. She has been going to one of those fruit-loop non-mainline evangelical churches and I am do not want my child baptized in that environment outside the Church.

Thanks
Henry

How did you allow to have her move? Or are you the one who has moved? Regardless, both of you should be within reasonable distance for child visitation.

You can’t hire a lawyer to have your child baptized.

There are rights for fathers. You need a lawyer who advocates father’s rights.