Catholic baptism in non-Catholic church

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Jabronie

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My wife isn’t Catholic and we recently had our first baby. We don’t really have any practicing Catholics to use for godparrents, so she wanted to baptize the baby in her church. (ELCA Lutheran)

I said, sure, thinking “well, she can use her sister as a godparent, and it’s still a valid baptism, so why not avoid the conflict and just do it?”

So after thinking about it a little longer, I’m pretty sure I did the wrong thing. I can’t back out at this point with the date of the baptism being next weekend and all the hurt feelings it would cause.

How does this affect me in the Church’s eyes? Am I committing any kind of sin by going through with this?

Also, please no lectures for my stupidity.
 
You did promise to do all in your power to raise your children Catholic. This seems to be a rough way to start out on that promise.

Please, sit down with your pastor.

Prayers for you!
 
Castello said:
You did promise to do all in your power to raise your children Catholic. This seems to be a rough way to start out on that promise.

Please, sit down with your pastor.

Prayers for you!
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This.

When you married under the auspices of the Catholic Church, you had to promise to raise your children Catholic. That is, making sure they were baptized in a Catholic church, that they attended mass, that they received communion when the time came, and that they were confirmed, and that you did not allow them to be of your wife’s faith.
 
It’s not too late. Tell your wife you need to reconsider and cancel the plans. It’s your decision as much as it is hers. Talk to the Priest with her present. Work everything out together. Remember though that Christ must come first in all things. That is what the Catholic Church stresses, hence the importance of baptizing in Christ’s Church (the Catholic Church), raising the kids in Christ’s Church etc etc Even if it causes initial arguments with your wife, talk it out. You must do what’s right for your children. And what better place for them to get to know God than the one Church in this world that Christ Himself created?
 
Jabronie said:
My wife isn’t Catholic and we recently had our first baby. We don’t really have any practicing Catholics to use for godparrents, so she wanted to baptize the baby in her church. (ELCA Lutheran)

I said, sure, thinking “well, she can use her sister as a godparent, and it’s still a valid baptism, so why not avoid the conflict and just do it?”

So after thinking about it a little longer, I’m pretty sure I did the wrong thing. I can’t back out at this point with the date of the baptism being next weekend and all the hurt feelings it would cause.

How does this affect me in the Church’s eyes? Am I committing any kind of sin by going through with this?

Also, please no lectures for my stupidity.
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Please try to cancel it! Don’t let your baby be baptized in a lutheran church! It is not too late to stop it!
 
Jabronie said:
My wife isn’t Catholic and we recently had our first baby. We don’t really have any practicing Catholics to use for godparrents, so she wanted to baptize the baby in her church. (ELCA Lutheran)

I said, sure, thinking “well, she can use her sister as a godparent, and it’s still a valid baptism, so why not avoid the conflict and just do it?”

So after thinking about it a little longer, I’m pretty sure I did the wrong thing. I can’t back out at this point with the date of the baptism being next weekend and all the hurt feelings it would cause.

How does this affect me in the Church’s eyes? Am I committing any kind of sin by going through with this?

Also, please no lectures for my stupidity.
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Talk to your priest. Have the baptism in the Catholic Church. It is allowed for a priest to be a Godparent then you could have one of your Lutheran friends as a Christian witness.
 
I’m so glad my folks didn’t baptize me in another religion. I walked away from the church but if I wasn’t baptized, I’m not sure if I would have ever found my way back home.
 
Dymphna82 said:
I’m so glad my folks didn’t baptize me in another religion. I walked away from the church but if I wasn’t baptized, I’m not sure if I would have ever found my way back home.
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Is it your opinion that the baptism will not be valid? :hmmm:
 
Hesychios said:
Is it your opinion that the baptism will not be valid?
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I think everyone agrees that the Baptism would be valid. However, it will make it very difficult for the OP to raise his child in the Church. The child will be a Lutheran unless the child (or the mother) converts.
 
Jabronie said:
I said, sure, thinking “well, she can use her sister as a godparent, and it’s still a valid baptism, so why not avoid the conflict and just do it?”
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The issue is not going to go away. What happens when its time for 1st Communion and Confirmation?
So after thinking about it a little longer, I’m pretty sure I did the wrong thing. I can’t back out at this point with the date of the baptism being next weekend and all the hurt feelings it would cause.
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Only you know your particular family situation and how much strife it would cause to back out at this point. If you do go through with it, however, your daughter would not be considered Catholic and would have to be officially received into the Church before receiving 1st Communion.
How does this affect me in the Church’s eyes? Am I committing any kind of sin by going through with this?
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Well, when you got married (i assume in a Catholic church) you made a promise to do your best to raise your child Catholic. Obviously that’s not off to a great start but you will need to get your ducks in a row before the family decides that your child should be raised Lutheran…
Also, please no lectures for my stupidity.
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We’ve all done things that weren’t the best idea in retrospect. What’s important is where we go from here…
 
Hesychios said:
Is it your opinion that the baptism will not be valid? :hmmm:
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It is my opinion that a Lutheran would be more interested in being Lutheran, unless some miracle happens that changes their mind.

How does one explain to their Lutheran child that even though Luther left the Church to start a religion in protest, that it’s okay to go to a Catholic church?
 
Please remember that the Godparents do not need to be family members. I would sit your wife down and speak to her. Be prepared to do some serious apologizing for not making your opinion known up front - but your child only gets one Baptism. Make it Catholic.

I had this same conversation with my Catholic father about why I was baptized Protestant after I grew up and converted to Catholicism and understood what a Catholic marriage was. My father had been away from the Catholic Church for decades due to the fact that at that point we were being raised there and it just became easier. It took a while and the death of one of my grandparents for him to return. Now he is back. I don’t know if he regrets all those years away but I know that he loves the Mass like he never has before. Don’t let this happen to you.
 
I think the Pope should do away with godparent as a requirement. I mean, it’s not as if godparents have to care about Catholicism or the child. All they have to do is be Catholic and wear a nice suit. The church should be the godparents.
 
Corki said:
I think everyone agrees that the Baptism would be valid. However, it will make it very difficult for the OP to raise his child in the Church. The child will be a Lutheran unless the child (or the mother) converts.
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To clarify: it isn’t the baptism itself that raises the difficulty so much as it is that the parents haven’t agreed to raise the child Catholic. Having said that, the OP is in a valid marriage to a Lutheran. He’s going to have to navigate this issue the best he can. The on-going guidance of a priest in his diocese would be a very good idea.
 
EasterJoy said:
To clarify: it isn’t the baptism itself that raises the difficulty so much as it is that the parents haven’t agreed to raise the child Catholic. Having said that, the OP is in a valid marriage to a Lutheran. He’s going to have to navigate this issue the best he can. The on-going guidance of a priest in his diocese would be a very good idea.
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Just wondering: Would this baptism put the child in an imperfect communion with the Catholic Church? Because although it would be valid, it wouldn’t formally be a Catholic baptism.:confused:
 
Swiss_Guy said:
Just wondering: Would this baptism put the child in an imperfect communion with the Catholic Church? Because although it would be valid, it wouldn’t formally be a Catholic baptism.:confused:
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Yes, that’s why Father pointed out problems when (if) the parents decided to have their child receive First Holy Communion. The child would have to first be received into the Church. Until then, the child would be considered a Lutheran.

The title is misleading. It isn’t a Catholic Baptism in a non-Catholic church – it’s a Catholic father’s child being baptized in a non-Catholic church as a non-Catholic.
 
Jabronie said:
My wife isn’t Catholic and we recently had our first baby. We don’t really have any practicing Catholics to use for godparrents, so she wanted to baptize the baby in her church. (ELCA Lutheran)

I said, sure, thinking “well, she can use her sister as a godparent, and it’s still a valid baptism, so why not avoid the conflict and just do it?”

So after thinking about it a little longer, I’m pretty sure I did the wrong thing. I can’t back out at this point with the date of the baptism being next weekend and all the hurt feelings it would cause.

How does this affect me in the Church’s eyes? Am I committing any kind of sin by going through with this?

Also, please no lectures for my stupidity.
Click to expand...
How religious is your wife? Also, how much hardship would be involved in postponing the baptism? Are relatives coming from out of town? Only you can make this determination. However, considering it is so close, there is a very real chance that it might be too late. I would discuss this with your wife and consider every possible option you have to cancelling the baptism in the ELCA church.

You did, in fact, promise to do everything in your power to raise your kids Catholic when you got married. You may not succeed considering the date is so close, but you can try. After that, I would sit down and discuss the issue with your pastor to get your ducks back in a row.

This is still a valid baptism because the ELCA does use water and baptising in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; however, your child would not be considered Catholic.

I sort of had a sense of deja vu when reading your post because my wife is also in the ELCA. I was sort of back-and-forth with the Catholic faith at the time, but in the end, decided to argue in favor of baptising our daughter Catholic.

As an aside, the ELCA is the church that recently said homosexual marriages could be permitted. The more confessional Lutherans (like LCMS and WELS) have strongly distanced themselves from the ELCA. This should tell you something. In fact, the ELCA is in communion with Methodists and Presbyterians (Calvinists!!!). This tells you how the ELCA approaches G-d and worship–that their beliefs, doctine, and ideals of how to profess and practice their faith takes a backseat to making the worship experience as close to a social club as possible.

Peace and prayers.
 
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