Catholic Betrothal Ceremony

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I know the Catholic Church as a betrothal ceremony and actually attended one in college. My understanding is that this is an option for engaged couples to give them extra spiritual protection during their engagement. It also binds them spiritually. I don’t remember that the ramifications were if they didn’t get married, but I thought there were some. I’m fairly positive the ceremony does not allow them to sleep together. Does anyone know more about this?

Also, I know from history classes that the Jewish people also had a betrothal process. Once a man and woman were betrothed, they could respectably live together and have marital relations. Since Catholic tradition and practices sprouted from the Jewish faith, why don’t we have this practice as well?
 
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JGheen:
I. I’m fairly positive the ceremony does not allow them to sleep together. Does anyone know more about this?

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fairly positive an engaged couple cannot sleep together following any ceremony other than marriage? try absolutely positive.
 
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JGheen:
I know the Catholic Church as a betrothal ceremony and actually attended one in college. My understanding is that this is an option for engaged couples to give them extra spiritual protection during their engagement. It also binds them spiritually. I don’t remember that the ramifications were if they didn’t get married, but I thought there were some. I’m fairly positive the ceremony does not allow them to sleep together. Does anyone know more about this?

Also, I know from history classes that the Jewish people also had a betrothal process. Once a man and woman were betrothed, they could respectably live together and have marital relations. Since Catholic tradition and practices sprouted from the Jewish faith, why don’t we have this practice as well?
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I`ve never heard of that one before. Is this an American thing- where else would you get it-.
 
The timing of your question is amazing considering the recent goings on.

A Catholic theologian who opposes Church teaching on divorce and supports creating a betrothal ceremony for cohabitating couples just led a colloquium to assist US bishops with writing a pastoral letter on marriage.

So. There is not a betrothal ceremony outside the one which is a part of the current rite of marriage.

I would question the legitmacy of the betrothal ceremony you witnessed as yet another invention to make the Church relevant or interesting or whatever.

It also sounds suspiciously llike a “handfasting”*. This is frequently (mis)understood as a trial marriage ( a year and a day). And while there were consequences I don’t think there is really any reason to reinvent the wheel here.

I also have a problem with binding anyone together spiritually before marriage.

*I have to admit though the celtophile in me really likes the ceremonial aspect of handfasting. So stone me.😛
 
Bruised_Reed said:
The timing of your question is amazing considering the recent goings on.

A Catholic theologian who opposes Church teaching on divorce and supports creating a betrothal ceremony for cohabitating couples just led a colloquium to assist US bishops with writing a pastoral letter on marriage.

So. There is not a betrothal ceremony outside the one which is a part of the current rite of marriage.

I would question the legitmacy of the betrothal ceremony you witnessed as yet another invention to make the Church relevant or interesting or whatever.

It also sounds suspiciously llike a “handfasting”*. This is frequently (mis)understood as a trial marriage ( a year and a day). And while there were consequences I don’t think there is really any reason to reinvent the wheel here.

I also have a problem with binding anyone together spiritually before marriage.

*I have to admit though the celtophile in me really likes the ceremonial aspect of handfasting. So stone me.😛
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Yes there is!!! Byzantine churches have a betrothal ceremony as part of the divine liturgy…it takes place before the marriage day. Only then are couples to traditionally recieve the engagement rings. Trust me…I’m a Byzantine Catholic getting married in about 2 years, so i’ve been reading all this stuff.
 
Also, in the Melkite tradition of bethroal they can if necessary be together as husband and wife, because technically everything has been done. In fact the reason the bethroal is done now before the Crowning is simply the fact that in this day and age people change their minds - sadly. A bethroal before the Crowning actually - for lack of a better way of saying it - is what the law requires, the legal part of it. The Crowning is the faith part of it.

One couple that I know was betrohed, they were both in their thirties, and then married a year later. But, in the mean time, since both of them worked out of the state, they were together for that year.

Some information for you…
mliles.com/melkite/holycrowning.shtml

Bethroal and Crowning melkite.com/holy_matrimony.html

An article I came across while looking for more on the EC traditions…Only it is about the West…I don’t know what to think about it.
uscatholic.claretians.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=12369&news_iv_ctrl=0&abbr=usc_
 
Pani_Rose said:
An article I came across while looking for more on the EC traditions…Only it is about the West…I don’t know what to think about it.
uscatholic.claretians.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=12369&news_iv_ctrl=0&abbr=usc_
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I’ve read the article and am quite skeptical. I used to read “U.S. Catholic” many years ago, but discontinued the subscription because of articles like this. “U.S. Catholic” is a liberal-leaning journal and this article follows in that “pushing the envelope” tradition.

This custom seems like one that may or may not have existed on a widespred basis, but was later discontinued, much like married priests. I don’t see how this strengthens an anticipated marriage. Considering the Church made this decision, there were probably good reasons to do so. I trust the Church.

Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with the Lord and we are to love Him completely. Similarly, we are to love our spouse without reserve. This includes love-making (i.e., sex), which is an act – because we are co-creators of life with our Lord in this act – reserved only for a totally committed relationship. If you’re totally committed, you should marry and help each other grow in holiness. If you’re not totally committed, you shouldn’t engage in what is probably one of the most sacred acts outside of the ministerial priesthood.

Anyway, that’s my 2/100ths of a dollar. I hope no one takes offense. I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, remembering Who is the source of all good things, including this forum!🙂

God bless,
Dan
 
JGheen said:
I know the Catholic Church as a betrothal ceremony and actually attended one in college. My understanding is that this is an option for engaged couples to give them extra spiritual protection during their engagement. It also binds them spiritually. I don’t remember that the ramifications were if they didn’t get married, but I thought there were some. I’m fairly positive the ceremony does not allow them to sleep together. Does anyone know more about this?

Also, I know from history classes that the Jewish people also had a betrothal process. Once a man and woman were betrothed, they could respectably live together and have marital relations. Since Catholic tradition and practices sprouted from the Jewish faith, why don’t we have this practice as well?
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The betrothal is more-or-less what we call being publically engaged. Yes, it does have Jewish roots, and yes, the Eastern Catholic Churches often practice them. In Jewish practice, betrothal meant that the couple could do everything pertaining to a married couple except for living together (or spending the night together), there was also a legal obligation that the couple would get married eventually.

Today, there are no obligations attached to getting betrothed. The new book of blessings even has a special blessing for an engaged couple. I find it helpful (though I have to exercise the option of “these or similar words”) as a way of publically recognizing and honoring the soon-to-be-married couple. There’s nothing wrong with it and everything good about it; so long as it’s done the right way. We could even call that a betrothal ceremony.

The other post refers to using the betrothal as some kind of substitute for marriage–that is not at all what a true betrothal ceremony is about. The Church does not ever bless or condone co-habitation (in the sense that we all know we’re talking about.)
 
Is there something on this for Latin - Rite Churches. I am going to Iraqi in April and was looking to be engaged with my long time girlfriend before I go. She does not wish to be married now and have me leave - an emotional thing, not a love thing- but this would be beautiful for my pastor to bless us as fiances in a formal liturgy or ceremony.

If anyone has details please do not hesitate to contact me.
 
A.Pelliccio said:
Is there something on this for Latin - Rite Churches. I am going to Iraqi in April and was looking to be engaged with my long time girlfriend before I go. She does not wish to be married now and have me leave - an emotional thing, not a love thing- but this would be beautiful for my pastor to bless us as fiances in a formal liturgy or ceremony.

If anyone has details please do not hesitate to contact me.
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Yes, The “Book of Blessings” contains a blessing for an engaged couple. There is no “ritual” per se, but the blessing could be given within the context of other suitable prayers.

You might ask the pastor to give this blessing after the Mass is ended in front of the congregation, or in front of family and friends.

Your post seems to imply that you’re not engaged yet–I hope this post isn’t spoiling any surprises!
 
Father,

She knows it’s coming we have been dating for five years (in feb 09) and she has already been loyal through a 2 year deployment to Kosovo (Serbia).

Thank you for the information.

SGT Pelliccio
 
Please allow me to revise and amend my previous comments.

The Roman Ritual contains a “Solemn Engagement or Betrothal”

Here’s what the introductory text says:
It is praiseworthy and in accord with ancient ecclesiastical customs for a Catholic young man and woman who become engaged to have the engagement solemnized and blessed by the Church…Let it suffice here to say that no action is admissible to compel the celebration of marriage, even after a formal engagement has taken place…Today there is no prescribed ritual for a formal engagement. But it is fitting that it take place before the altar of God and be followed by Mass and holy Communion.

Although there is no “prescribed ritual” what is printed in the Roman Ritual certainly may be used. It includes a blessing of the couple, and even a blessing of the engagement ring.

Having read that, I would scratch the part from my earlier post about “after Mass” and replace it with “before Mass.”
 
My fiance and I had a betrothal ceremony according to the books in place in 1962(by an FSSP priest) this past Sunday(10/25/09). If anyone is interested I will either post the English/Latin Rite of Betrothal or post a link to where it can be found. It was a wonderful ceremony and most of the ladies there were all weapy by the end of it. This is a custom that is still practiced in Europe and other parts of the world, but has fallen out of use in the US.
 
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