Catholic boy switches to public school: what could go wrong?

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Because of high tuition costs, this 12 y/o boy was forced to switch to the public school system. Lots of Catholics are in public schools.

Well somebody came up with the idea that there would be a two night sleep over at a local Y camp (with cabins) with the idea of the kids socializing so as to reduce bullying in the school. To give you an idea of how rough it is in this school, the district had to build WALLS so that the sixth graders were separated from the fifth graders.

So, at the camp, the counselor for my relative was a guy alone with 8 boys. Then, when he gets alone with them he announces that he is gay and atheist, and he tells them that everything they have been taught about God is a lie.

Remember? bullying? this was supposed to be about NOT bullying, but the counselor himself engaged in all this bullying. at a Y camp? Remember, they used to be YMCA – young men’s Christian association. Well, now it’s just Y for obvious accommodation with the increasingly secular culture.

I don’t know what the boy’s parents are going to do first. I said to start with the police – you can make a police report about anything. Then maybe ask the priest what to do next. Then, make some complaint with the Y camp and the school district.

tags: hostile environment, bullying, violation of religious rights, not what they bargained for.

Help me out here.
 
This is not the result of a school, but a particular camp counsellor. I am sure its against public school policy as well as private school.

I would tackle the counsellor’s employer.
 
It is inappropriate for someone to take advantage of a position in a public school to encourage particular beliefs. This is just as wrong as someone telling a group of young people that he or she is heterosexual and a Catholic and that Catholic teaching is true. But it is not bullying. Not unless it is repeated or involves coercion.
 
otrrl said:
So, at the camp, the counselor for my relative was a guy alone with 8 boys. Then, when he gets alone with them he announces that he is gay and atheist, and he tells them that everything they have been taught about God is a lie.
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That was certainly inappropriate, and should be reported to the school officials. But it doesn’t even approach being “bullying.” And, police? That’s a complete overreaction.
 
Yeah, I don’t know what crime you’d be reporting here. The counselor certainly acted inappropriately, but I don’t see where he did anything criminal.

As for what to do, yes, complain to the Y and to the school. But it’s also a good time, I think, for the parents to have a conversation with the kid because you can’t shelter him from peoplenlike this forever.

Something like, “hey, sometimes you’re going to encounter people like this, who don’t like what you believe and are hostile about it. It’s uncomfortable but it’s part of life. Don’t let it bother you too much.”
 
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otrrl said:
Because of high tuition costs, this 12 y/o boy was forced to switch to the public school system. Lots of Catholics are in public schools
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Just so you know, it sounds like your relative is in an exceptionally rough public school. They’re not all like that. I went to public schools my whole life and they were perfectly fine. I just don’t want you to leave thinking public schools in general are a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
 
Hopefully the boy’s parents and other faith-filled adults in his life (you?) will use this as a springboard to prepare him for real-life, where he will face daily encounters with people who practice sin and call it “good,” and who not only deny God, but denigrate Him.

This is real life. It’s sad that a boy has to tramp through it, and many children and teenagers get sucked into the muck and mire and end up being brought down.

Some families pull their kids away from real life in the United States, and keep their children and teens in a fantasy world in which everyone is a faithful Catholic or at least a well-meaning Protestant, and everyone attends daily Mass and all the music is Christian or at least traditional American folk and classical, and everyone is always kind, loving, modest (especially the girls), and all the media, especially books, are wholesome and non-controversial, and of course, the only sex is between married couples.

I think it’s important for YOUNG children to live in this innocent world as much as possible, because they lack the thought processes and cognitive thinking to be able to withstand the kind of attacks on their faith and moral structure that your relative experienced at the camp.

But there comes a time when most of us have to step outside of the fortress and enter the real world, and for your nephew, it has come at a time when he is starting to mature physically, mentally, and spiritually into a man. Whether his faith survives intact and strong will depend on how well he has been trained by his parents and other faith-filled people in his life.

You and the other adults in his life need to help him to put on God’s armor to protect himself. You and the other adults need to teach him the history of his faith and make sure he is aware of the apologetics that will help him to continue to believe rather than give in to doubts because of nay-sayers.

You and the other adults need to live exemplary Christian lives yourselves, with no “family secrets” that are kept hidden in dark corners of the family. These family secrets–sexual abuse, alcoholism or drug abuse, mental illness (which shouldn’t be shameful), criminal activity in the family, etc. can leap out at the most unexpected time and totally destroy a teenager’s faith because they will feel that they can never trust their parents and other adults again. Just think of what’s happened in the Church because the priest’s sexual secrets were kept hidden–there is a parade of Catholics away from the Church because they have lost trust. Same thing happens in families.

Finally, you and the other adults need to pray for him constantly, whenever he comes to your mind.

I’m not saying that parents should toss their children into a very evil world. I believe that Christians families should be strongholds of decency, love, respect, and JOY. But I also think that it’s important to prepare children and teens for what they will face outside the family home.
 
In my growing up it was incredibly common for teachers to spout their worldviews in school starting in elementary. Regardless of policy. Conservatives, especially religious ones, are seemingly intentionally treated as outsiders in education.
 
Send your child to a secular camp and you can 100% know that there will be secular people there.
 
This does not mean defenseless; suggest having him learn aikido (which is based on the bully making the first move) which levels the playing field against gorillas of any size. As for the sexuality issue- public schools normalize everything by making books for kids saying “mikey has two daddies” so this can be taken with a pound of salt.
 
We live in a secular world, it cannot be avoided. People love giving their opinions. It is good for children to learn to discern what’s going on. It’s great this child spoke up to his or her parents, knowing something about it wasn’t quite right.
 
Its inappropriate, talk to his employer (the School).
Even if it goes nowhere it is a shot across the bows and the “counsellor”
will think twice before doing so again.
 
reply to PaulfromIowa
Start with the police??? What does this have to do with the police? What crime was committed?

in this state, there is a law that mandates certain professionals and also allows private citizens to anonymously report incidents of child abuse. With the facts I stated originally, this situation constitutes psychological abuse, in my opinion. I think the term “camp counselor” shouldn’t be taken too seriously, because a professional counselor wouldn’t have acted the way this man did towards the children.

If you don’t like the term psychological abuse, then try on “creating a hostile environment.”

A reply comment above regarding telling the camp supervisor about the “counselor” has received 6 hearts so far. That’s what the parent did and the reply from the supervisor was that the “counselor” would be “talked to.”
 
Yeah, it’s 100% not child abuse, based on what you’ve described. Trying to file a police report would be supremely silly.
 
otrrl said:
reply to PaulfromIowa
Start with the police??? What does this have to do with the police? What crime was committed?

in this state, there is a law that mandates certain professionals and also allows private citizens to anonymously report incidents of child abuse. With the facts I stated originally, this situation constitutes psychological abuse, in my opinion. I think the term “camp counselor” shouldn’t be taken too seriously, because a professional counselor wouldn’t have acted the way this man did towards the children.

If you don’t like the term psychological abuse, then try on “creating a hostile environment.”

A reply comment above regarding telling the camp supervisor about the “counselor” has received 6 hearts so far. That’s what the parent did and the reply from the supervisor was that the “counselor” would be “talked to.”
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Good. Sounds like they’re at least sympathetic.

As a lawyer who deals with legal issues relating to children every day (admittedly not in the US), one camp counsellor espousing on a one-off occasion, even very strongly espousing, atheistic views, does not automatically a hostile environment or child abuse make.

Would you expect a Christian counsellor to be accused of bullying or child abuse for telling a child who happens to be Muslim of his or her beliefs that the Qur’an is untrue (in other words a lie) and that Mohammed was not a prophet?
 
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Muslim people should know what they’re getting their child into. And a Christian counsellor should be sensitive to the attendees. This man was not a trained “counsellor” – that’s just a euphemism for the baby sitting that he was doing.

There was a Hindu boy who was in a local Catholic school (to keep him out of the public school environment) and he got along well, even prospered there and in their Boy Scout troop.

I worked with an Orthodox Christian woman who went to a Catholic girls school, too.

There’s a difference when you know what to expect and when a Catholic boy finds himself trapped unexpectedly and unprepared with a homosexual man who is spouting atheist views – and the whole point of this “camp” was to prevent bullying. It was sponsored by a public school district. I expect that the same standards and rules of conduct in the school should be expected in an event they sponsor. I think this is common sense (and I don’t use that phrase often).
 
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Yes a Muslim dealing with Christians should know what they are getting into. So should someone dealing with an organisation now called the ‘Y’, it seems in an effort to distance itself from.its Christian roots.

Again, in a secular environment there is going to be the occasional person who goes overboard. Just as some of the Religious Ed teachers in my Catholic schools sometimes did. The odd outlier does not as I said, automaticlly onstitute a hostile environment or bullying or child abuse!

And I say this in no way to justify or condone the behaviour at all. It was inappropriate.
 
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