Latin or Byzantine instead?
Buy a missal, and follow along with the devotional prayers. Pray the mass, at more of a pace you can handle, with them.
Read about the mass, and what spiritually is occurring so you appreciate it more.
With an interior conversion, you can focus on loving the Lord enough that every time you hear His name you are touched, though the mass itself is disorderly said, you catch the good in the ritual.
The more you conquer yourself and all these feelings in the mass, the better for your soul. Strive against the way you feel to your utmost and try to kindle virtuous and appropriate feelings instead, for the love of God.
The mass is very necessary as you can see, like bitter medicine. The mass for Christ was agony, for reasons one should try to appreciate.
Try to kindle appreciation for the graces and prayers in the mass even if you cannot appreciate all of the form. Be careful, the devil will do anything to keep you from going to the mass, and so you do have to work on your heart.