Catholic Cemeteries/Funeral questions

[MaryHelene]

Hi all - not sure where else on the site to post this. Hope it’s okay here.

My mom and dad are starting to think about making some pre-arrangements for their eventual funeral and bodily dispositions.

They asked me to help them.

First question - must Catholics be interred in a Catholic cemetery, or is a secular cemetery acceptable? The only cemetery in our town is secular. It is lovely. There is a Catholic cemetery a few cities over, but we don’t have any ties to that town so it would be a little odd to use that cemetery (although if we had to, we definitely would.) I would think it wouldn’t matter, as it is just the “remains” and not a person’s soul, and there are probably millions and millions of good Catholics that were not interred in a Catholic cemetery, but I’m not sure what the current rules are.

Second of all, I know that cremation is an acceptable way to dispose of a human body according to the Catholic Church, and that the cremated remains need to be interred in an appropriate place. Is it preferable to have the actual corpse at the funeral Mass, and THEN have it cremated afterward? Or is it acceptable to just have the cremated remains at the Mass? There is an option to use a rental casket for the funeral, but in order to do this the corpse must be embalmed. It seems silly and wasteful to me to embalm a body that is headed for cremation, just so that the body can be “present” at the Mass. But - is this necessary?

Lastly, is embalming necessary? Our state does not require it, but no viewing can take place unless the corpse is embalmed. That’s fine, as neither of my parents would want their body on display anyway. But does the Church prefer a body to be embalmed before burial?

Thanks for your help!

Mary Helene

 

[Hecares]

I haven’t had to deal with whether to bury relatives in a Catholic cemetery. Each of the three Chuches in our parish has its own cemetery; so I can’t speak to that question.

However, we have had situations where cremation was preferred, so I have some knowledge, hopefully correct, about that. The Church’s preference at the time we dealt with the issue was that the body be present at the funeral. However, due to circumstances, we had only ashes at both. One person died a long distance from where they were to be buried. The cost of shopping ashes is much less than that of shipping a body. The second one was not only quite a distance away, but they also died in a fire. You are correct that the ashes are to be buried in a cemetery. They may not be scattered or kept in an urn.

Have you checked the Catechism of the Catholic Church for further guidance? You can access it through th USCCB (US Conference of Catholic Bishops) website.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I haven’t had to deal with whether to bury relatives in a Catholic cemetery. Each of the three Chuches in our parish has its own cemetery; so I can’t speak to that question.

However, we have had situations where cremation was preferred, so I have some knowledge, hopefully correct, about that. The Church’s preference at the time we dealt with the issue was that the body be present at the funeral. However, due to circumstances, we had only ashes at both. One person died a long distance from where they were to be buried. The cost of shopping ashes is much less than that of shipping a body. The second one was not only quite a distance away, but they also died in a fire. You are correct that the ashes are to be buried in a cemetery. They may not be scattered or kept in an urn.

Have you checked the Catechism of the Catholic Church for further guidance? You can access it through th USCCB (US Conference of Catholic Bishops) website.

Correction: A person’s remains in the form of ashes ARE kept in an urn or other container, either buried in a plot or in a columbarium in a cemetery. The ashes may NOT be kept in any form as a keepsake, in the home, or scattered, but treated with the respect and dignity due to the deceased.

 

[Luvtosew]

I have a brother whose never been married, and he wants creamation,

can he (his whole urn ) be burried in my Mom’s grave?

 

[Catholic90]

I have a brother whose never been married, and he wants creamation,

can he (his whole urn ) be burried in my Mom’s grave?

If there is room in her gravesite, it should not be a problem. Was she cremated?

My mother was cremated and buried last month, and my father will share one gravesite with her when his time comes. He will also be cremated.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I have a brother whose never been married, and he wants creamation,

can he (his whole urn ) be burried in my Mom’s grave?

Yes. I called the cemetery where my mother is buried, and they told me up to 5 urns can be interred in a grave which already contains a casket.

But call the cemetery just to verify it.

 

[Luvtosew]

Thank yous so much.

No my Mom had a regular burial and I’ve been trying to reach the cemetary which is in another town , as my brother and I were just talking about this,
and well its good to know he can be buried with her.

That is wonderful family can share the same grave site, instead of be buried off by themselves somewhere.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thank yous so much.

No my Mom had a regular burial and I’ve been trying to reach the cemetary which is in another town , as my brother and I were just talking about this,
and well its good to know he can be buried with her.

That is wonderful family can share the same grave site, instead of be buried off by themselves somewhere.

It also reduces expenses significantly, although the cemetery will charge you a fee to re-open the grave. It’s still a lot less than buying another plot. And a more rural cemetery might not charge you much.

 

[1ke]

First question - must Catholics be interred in a Catholic cemetery, or is a secular cemetery acceptable? The only cemetery in our town is secular. It is lovely. There is a Catholic cemetery a few cities over, but we don’t have any ties to that town so it would be a little odd to use that cemetery (although if we had to, we definitely would.) I would think it wouldn’t matter, as it is just the “remains” and not a person’s soul, and there are probably millions and millions of good Catholics that were not interred in a Catholic cemetery, but I’m not sure what the current rules are.

Your mother and father may choose where they want to be buried.

Can. 1180 §1. If a parish has its own cemetery, the deceased members of the faithful must be buried in it unless the deceased or those competent to take care of the burial of the deceased have chosen another cemetery legitimately.

§2. Everyone, however, is permitted to choose the cemetery of burial unless prohibited by law.

Second of all, I know that cremation is an acceptable way to dispose of a human body according to the Catholic Church, and that the cremated remains need to be interred in an appropriate place. Is it preferable to have the actual corpse at the funeral Mass, and THEN have it cremated afterward?

Correct. Cremation is allowed, but the Church strongly urges the body be present at the funeral. This is something they should discuss with their priest prior to making pre-paid type arrangement.s

Or is it acceptable to just have the cremated remains at the Mass? There is an option to use a rental casket for the funeral, but in order to do this the corpse must be embalmed. It seems silly and wasteful to me to embalm a body that is headed for cremation, just so that the body can be “present” at the Mass. But - is this necessary?

Your parents should speak to their priest.

Lastly, is embalming necessary? Our state does not require it, but no viewing can take place unless the corpse is embalmed. That’s fine, as neither of my parents would want their body on display anyway. But does the Church prefer a body to be embalmed before burial?

This would seem to be a matter of civil law only. The Church doesn’t have any requirement for embalming that I am aware of.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi all -
First question - must Catholics be interred in a Catholic cemetery, or is a secular cemetery acceptable?

no, not necessarily, the grave will be blessed during the commital rite anyhow.

Second of all, I know that cremation is an acceptable way to dispose of a human body according to the Catholic Church, and that the cremated remains need to be interred in an appropriate place. Is it preferable to have the actual corpse at the funeral Mass, and THEN have it cremated afterward?

yes this is preferred. If the body is cremated first the cremains are not brought to the funeral Mass. Instead, a memorial Mass is offered.

Lastly, is embalming necessary?

the Church has no ruling on this, civil law prevails
if there is not going to be a viewing then the closed casket is brought to the church for the funeral Mass, and in some states embalming is not necessary.

If cremation follows the cremains must be buried or interred in a facility built for that purpose, they may not be scattered (also against most local laws) nor even worse kept on the mantelpiece. The exception is burian at sea under specific narrow legal guidelines

most funeral directors who deal with Catholic funerals and parishes know the rules that apply for Catholics and how to direct a client in this planning.

I have a brother whose never been married, and he wants creamation,

can he (his whole urn ) be burried in my Mom’s grave?

yes this would be acceptable, and yes the cremains must be in an urn or other suitable container.

 

[StarFireKK]

My mother was cremated and her ashes were at the funeral. Our priest never breathed a word to us that the body would have been preferred. I don’t know how that would work. You have the Mass then you go to the cemetery there is no break in between. At least that’s how it works in my area of the country.

I do know you can have several people buried at the same site provided you have permission. My parents are planning to share the same site.

As for Catholic or not- that I don’t know. It was never an issue for our family.

I remember asking my dad when I was little why Catholic couldn’t have their ashes spread. My father quipped “It would be too much work for the Angels when Christ returns.” I always thought that was a good answer.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hi all - not sure where else on the site to post this. Hope it’s okay here.

My mom and dad are starting to think about making some pre-arrangements for their eventual funeral and bodily dispositions.

They asked me to help them.

First question - must Catholics be interred in a Catholic cemetery, or is a secular cemetery acceptable? The only cemetery in our town is secular. It is lovely. There is a Catholic cemetery a few cities over, but we don’t have any ties to that town so it would be a little odd to use that cemetery (although if we had to, we definitely would.) I would think it wouldn’t matter, as it is just the “remains” and not a person’s soul, and there are probably millions and millions of good Catholics that were not interred in a Catholic cemetery, but I’m not sure what the current rules are.

Second of all, I know that cremation is an acceptable way to dispose of a human body according to the Catholic Church, and that the cremated remains need to be interred in an appropriate place. Is it preferable to have the actual corpse at the funeral Mass, and THEN have it cremated afterward? Or is it acceptable to just have the cremated remains at the Mass? There is an option to use a rental casket for the funeral, but in order to do this the corpse must be embalmed. It seems silly and wasteful to me to embalm a body that is headed for cremation, just so that the body can be “present” at the Mass. But - is this necessary?

Lastly, is embalming necessary? Our state does not require it, but no viewing can take place unless the corpse is embalmed. That’s fine, as neither of my parents would want their body on display anyway. But does the Church prefer a body to be embalmed before burial?

Thanks for your help!

Mary Helene

Did you mean the cemetery is inter-denominational, not secular? I wonder if there might be specific areas within the cemetery for different religions…I know some cemeteries have a Catholic “corner” where Catholics are usually buried, but that may be a regional thing or just certain customs in a cemetery.