M
milkbar
Guest
I don’t know that I actually have a question. I’m just sad and disappointed. My best friend is marrying a Catholic man. But his family fell away from the Church a while back over what I gather were issues of a social nature; he is now a staunch liberal, politically, so I can guess which issues were at stake (I don’t know him, the fiance, well enough to have asked the tough questions yet).
Now they’re having some sort of non-denominational ceremony for the wedding. It is at least in “a” church, but it’s not Catholic. He plans on having the marriage convalidated later if he decides to come back to the Church.
I know this is not going to make or break him, so to speak, sin-wise; he does not attend Mass even on holidays, etc., so he already likely has problems, but still I hoped he would choose to do the right thing at least for his wedding. Now all I can think is that he’ll have one more obstacle, a big one, and I can’t understand why he doesn’t care. And I can’t understand his Catholic parents not caring. And I can’t understand any Catholics not caring!
I was so happy when my friend met and eventually became engaged to a Christian. Her family is just not religious at all. I was initially a little put off by the fact that he was Catholic, being a Protestant myself, and then I converted, and then I hoped my friend would eventually become Catholic as well.
I realize all hope is not lost, and I am praying. But I had set so many hopes on their wedding ceremony and the preparations and on him, at least, possibly coming back to the Church through it all, if not leading my best friend to the Church with him. It’s so very sad to witness another Catholic just letting themselves go.
I’ve started to post about this several times as I’ve been in the midst of helping my friend look at Catholic churches, which was apparently the catalyst for her fiance waking up and taking a more active role in helping choose the wedding location… now it’s all over, so to speak, and I’m confused. I want to be happy for my friend, and I am her maid of honor, and I AM happy for her, but then in the middle of the wedding I don’t know how I’m going to be able to stand there and watch someone in the very act of committing a mortal sin, and watch his parents watch him and say nothing, and so on. I feel a ridiculously irrational obligation to DO something but there wasn’t much I could do beyond hand my friend as much information as I could find on a silver platter (I did a whole lot of learning because I’m a convert with no Catholic wedding experience whatsoever), and that wasn’t enough. I feel helpless.
I think some people may say not to go to the wedding or at least not be involved in it, but this is my very best friend, and she isn’t the one making the disobedient mistake here… and if I abandon her over this, it’s not going to make them change the wedding plans, but it would cause a terrible rift and I would not be able to be an example over the years and help gently encourage them to do other things like register at a parish and have their children baptized and have their marriage convalidated and so on.
I’m just so disappointed and frustrated. I’m hoping someone will have words of wisdom for me.
Now they’re having some sort of non-denominational ceremony for the wedding. It is at least in “a” church, but it’s not Catholic. He plans on having the marriage convalidated later if he decides to come back to the Church.
I know this is not going to make or break him, so to speak, sin-wise; he does not attend Mass even on holidays, etc., so he already likely has problems, but still I hoped he would choose to do the right thing at least for his wedding. Now all I can think is that he’ll have one more obstacle, a big one, and I can’t understand why he doesn’t care. And I can’t understand his Catholic parents not caring. And I can’t understand any Catholics not caring!
I was so happy when my friend met and eventually became engaged to a Christian. Her family is just not religious at all. I was initially a little put off by the fact that he was Catholic, being a Protestant myself, and then I converted, and then I hoped my friend would eventually become Catholic as well.
I realize all hope is not lost, and I am praying. But I had set so many hopes on their wedding ceremony and the preparations and on him, at least, possibly coming back to the Church through it all, if not leading my best friend to the Church with him. It’s so very sad to witness another Catholic just letting themselves go.
I’ve started to post about this several times as I’ve been in the midst of helping my friend look at Catholic churches, which was apparently the catalyst for her fiance waking up and taking a more active role in helping choose the wedding location… now it’s all over, so to speak, and I’m confused. I want to be happy for my friend, and I am her maid of honor, and I AM happy for her, but then in the middle of the wedding I don’t know how I’m going to be able to stand there and watch someone in the very act of committing a mortal sin, and watch his parents watch him and say nothing, and so on. I feel a ridiculously irrational obligation to DO something but there wasn’t much I could do beyond hand my friend as much information as I could find on a silver platter (I did a whole lot of learning because I’m a convert with no Catholic wedding experience whatsoever), and that wasn’t enough. I feel helpless.
I think some people may say not to go to the wedding or at least not be involved in it, but this is my very best friend, and she isn’t the one making the disobedient mistake here… and if I abandon her over this, it’s not going to make them change the wedding plans, but it would cause a terrible rift and I would not be able to be an example over the years and help gently encourage them to do other things like register at a parish and have their children baptized and have their marriage convalidated and so on.
I’m just so disappointed and frustrated. I’m hoping someone will have words of wisdom for me.