Catholic Dating - physical intimacy, where to draw the line?

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I’m a 27 year old guy (not that age makes an answer any different, just filling in the background).

I’ve recently met someone, through Catholicmatch.com, and after a good 3 months of dialogue, and now having finally met, we’re currently riding the high of all the happy jitters. I will say, having a chance to go to Mass with someone, was just awesome. We live far away from one another, (about 5-6 hours). After the weekend of strengthening chemistry, I believe its only a matter of time before we consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend.

Our faith is important to us both, hence the Catholicmatch.com choice. As my personal faith has increased, and awareness of how I want to live my life, I truely want to make sure I do my very best in this relationship. She has already finished a book I’m just starting to read, The Theology of the Body for beginers.

I have to admit upfront, that unlike her, I’m not a virgin. Though my last relationship, that was a long term relationship did not include sex, we did have a high degree of intimacy. Even that relationship was a big step for me, in comparison to my relationships of my late teens/early 20s.

But now, I’m ready to do things right, and I want to seek out as much advice, as I am enjoying understanding God’s plan, enjoying fulling respecting her, myself… I’m so excited, but I just want to make sure I do everything right. I just ordered a CD that I think will also be of assistance, but that won’t be coming til mid next week.

Thanks!
 
I guess you’re seeking advice about how far is too far and the such…

In relationships the question we ask ourselves shouldn’t be how close can I get to the edge without falling over. Rather it should be how far can I stay away preventing any chance of falling off.

We as humans have the tendency to push the envelope and see just how much sin we can get away with and still be Christians. In your relationship with her you should seek out how holy you two can be.

I believe if you truly seek the virtue of chastity and keeping Christ as the head of this relationship (if you do this now then doing so at marriage should be an easy transition) then you two will definately be heading in the right direction. Keep going to mass, it provides a strong link for you two. Eucharistic adoration couldn’t hurt either =)
 
well, a couple different ways I have heard it are:

“Nothing below the neck. Either neck.”(with the clarification that you may not flip her upsidedown:p )

or the not so definite “nothing lustful” This can be different things to different people, which is the problem, but I have found that, at least in my own experience, you tend to know when things are going to far. You can just sense that something isn’t right.

Personally I think that the first one is a pretty good rule of thumb
 
well, a couple different ways I have heard it are:

“Nothing below the neck. Either neck.”(with the clarification that you may not flip her upside down:p )

or the not so definite “nothing lustful” This can be different things to different people, which is the problem, but I have found that, at least in my own experience, you tend to know when things are going to far. You can just sense that something isn’t right.

Personally I think that the first one is a pretty good rule of thumb
 
Great couple answers… both being helpful shifts mentally for me. Thanks you!
 
I’d say that you shouldn’t be touching any parts on her that you wouldn’t touch on your mother. (There, that should take care of any lustful thoughts for a couple of years!) That first sentence was half joking, half serious and all true! :yup:

Now as far as the rest of it is concerned, if you are together and either or both of you start to get that “funny feeling” “you know where,” you must completely stop. At the start of the feeling you know that you are getting too close and need to have the hoses turned on yourselves!
 
2bcontent said:
I’m a 27 year old guy (not that age makes an answer any different, just filling in the background).

I’ve recently met someone, through Catholicmatch.com, and after a good 3 months of dialogue, and now having finally met, we’re currently riding the high of all the happy jitters. I will say, having a chance to go to Mass with someone, was just awesome. We live far away from one another, (about 5-6 hours). After the weekend of strengthening chemistry, I believe its only a matter of time before we consider ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend.

Our faith is important to us both, hence the Catholicmatch.com choice. As my personal faith has increased, and awareness of how I want to live my life, I truely want to make sure I do my very best in this relationship. She has already finished a book I’m just starting to read, The Theology of the Body for beginers.

I have to admit upfront, that unlike her, I’m not a virgin. Though my last relationship, that was a long term relationship did not include sex, we did have a high degree of intimacy. Even that relationship was a big step for me, in comparison to my relationships of my late teens/early 20s.

But now, I’m ready to do things right, and I want to seek out as much advice, as I am enjoying understanding God’s plan, enjoying fulling respecting her, myself… I’m so excited, but I just want to make sure I do everything right. I just ordered a CD that I think will also be of assistance, but that won’t be coming til mid next week.

Thanks!
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When the expression of physical intimacy ceases to be about the other person and starts to be about your own desires. The whole idea of physical intimacy (in a perfect sense) should be an outward display of affection for another.

The beautiful about it when given in such a way is that you will not be disappointed in what you receive or what you don’t receive.

Sense you obviously care a great deal about this girl you should be careful not to put her in a situation that could lead to sinfulness. That limit will really be determined by her spiritual strength.

and don’t forget
Corinthians 13
Love** is patient**, love** is kind**. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude,** it is not self-seeking**, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

So as is said to me so often by another
“It depends”
 
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