Catholic Dating Sites

[katybird]

I’ve met my fiance on Catholicmatch.com, and I just read two posts by people who met their spouses on Ave Maria Singles…

Anybody else meet their spouse or fiance online? Anybody here considering trying it? What sites did you/have you used? What have been your experiences? If you haven’t done it, but are considering it, what are your concerns and hopes? And, if you would never do such a thing, why not?

As my HS English teacher would say: “Discuss!”

 

[vluvski]

I’m very happy for you on your engagement! PM me if you want to talk wedding gab! I met my fiance in the conventional manner.

I am not opposed to the sites, but they do make me a little uneasy. It goes against the general recommendation, “stop looking, and someone will find you,” which is precisely what worked for me. I have a hard time reconciling trust in God to bring spouses together with using a dating site.

Or maybe that’s where you were supposed to meet? Faithful Catholics can be so few and far between, how else might their paths cross? The jury is still out for me.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

vluvski:

I am not opposed to the sites, but they do make me a little uneasy. It goes against the general recommendation, “stop looking, and someone will find you,” which is precisely what worked for me. I have a hard time reconciling trust in God to bring spouses together with using a dating site.

Or maybe that’s where you were supposed to meet? Faithful Catholics can be so few and far between, how else might their paths cross? The jury is still out for me.

Its the 21st century. I think meeting people online can be great, but you need maturity and to be very careful. Being part of a singles site does not mean you are looking for a spouse, you can join one like you joined this site, to talk in forums with other Catholics (which in that case, are singles too). Its kind of like joining an electronic Catholic youth group/ young adults singles group, with real life social activities and all (people have lots of get togethers etc) so it does not necessarily go against the idea of not actively seeking a spouse. Its just one more venue where you can meet people on the same boat as you. If the technology is out there, why not make use of it? All I can say is God acts in mysterious ways! Now, one thing is online Catholic dating sites and another is secular dating sites.

With that said, you have to be careful, some people can be very deceiving, and even if they aren’t, you cannot replace real in person face to face time with online conversation. It does not matter where you meet someone, whether at a Catholic activity, at the beach, at the mall, at a party, online, etc. its the getting to know them well later that matters.
Online dating can be compared to correspondance dating during WWII. Many long lasting loving marriages came out of it, although it is pretty new, so maybe there aren’t any marriages that have lasted long… but there are some very promising ones

 

[captaincatholic]

I met my sweet husband on StRaphaelSingles, now catholicmatch.com. I was not a fan of online dating at all— I was looking for other Catholic women in secular colleges to comiserate with. In fact, if an acquaintance of mine didn’t actually own/found the site, I would not have considered it an option at all.

I didn’t even have a photo posted when my husband contacted me for the first time. 1 year later, we were happily married. It has been just a year since then, and we are joyfully awaiting our first baby in February or March 2006!

Internet dating is NOT for everyone, but it can work if people are honest, straightforward, and get to know eachother well. Safe first meetings are important too. I was fortunate enough to be able to bring my DH into a house I was renting during college where I lived with my brother and a female roommate. I also had lots of other friends over that night, and I love to cook for a crowd, so I made a HUGE pot of chili and I don’t even remember what else that day. I think one of the best things about our first meeting was that he walked in while I was rehearsing Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen’s favorite Beethoven string quartet with my own quartet (including my brother), and our first “date” was for daily Mass the next morning.

May God bless all discerning their vocations, and all who facilitate Christian fellowship and the Sacrament of Matrimony!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Yes, I did meet my wife on Single Catholics Online (now Ave Maria Single Catholics Online) and let me tell you it makes for an interesting story when someone asks “where did you meet.”

The good thing about this site is that you have to pay a fee to join and that you have a ton of questions about yourself and about the faith to answer. Which is nice to have that right in front of you to know where someone stands on several of the issues that are important to you. Actually since my wife and I used the site, her mother (divorced and annuled) met her new husband on the same site.

It is refreshing to have trusted sites like this to meet other single Catholics. I was at the point that I knew my future spouse was not hanging out at some bar and I wanted to try something different. The Lord truly works in mysterious ways.

 

[1ke]

Yes, I met my husband on Ave Maria. I signed up in late 2001. I met several men, both locally and long distance, over the next two years. In August 2003 my now-husband wrote to me. I knew immediately this guy was the one for me. We wrote, talked on the phone, then met. We dated long distance, traveling back & forth between Texas and Wisconsin. We married August 2005.

I highly recommend it for serious, faithful Catholics who cannot meet like-minded Catholics. I lived in a city of 3 million people, and still found it hard to meet serious Catholic men even though I was very involved in parish, diocesan, and pro-life work. My husband, OTOH, was geographically challenged-- living in a rural area with a very small parish, sparse population overall, and working tons of hours on the farm.

So, I think these sites are a great way for people to meet. Of course, I’m prejudiced!!!

Now, it’s not like we joined and met each other immediately and it was all storybook. I invested time and energy with some other men I met, getting to know them, traveling, etc, and was frustrated it did not work out. But, now I know why… the perfect man for me was just around the corner!

This type of relationship takes a lot of dedication and determination, compared to ones in which the people are in the same town. Not for everyone, but I’m blessed.

 

[katybird]

I joined Catholic Match, but I heard so many raves about AMS that I joined it, too. There was an initial flurry of interest, with quite a few emails in the first two weeks, and then practically nothing after that.

I enjoyed Catholic Match because they have a lot of things to do besides just sit and wait for Mr.Right to come along. They have message boards that are pretty similar to the ones here, and if you post to them, you’ll get a lot of browses from the gents. And, there are men’s/women’s - only boards where we could discuss gender-specific things (Like, “Why don’t men call when they say they will?” )

Even after being on there for a year, I was still getting plenty of emails and stuff from gentlemen. And, I made some really neat friends of both sexes.

One of the first things I figured out was that people may say all sorts of things in their profiles, but you can’t really expect them to be all holy just because they espouse all the right things. Some guy can go on and on in his profile about how much he loves to spend six hours a week in Adoration, and then he’ll ask you to talk dirty in chat or something. So, you can’t be lulled into a false sense of security. It’s nice to get off on the right foot: you both have the same beliefs about contraception, you both go to Mass weekly, but beyond that, you’re on your own!

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

katybird:

One of the first things I figured out was that people may say all sorts of things in their profiles, but you can’t really expect them to be all holy just because they espouse all the right things. Some guy can go on and on in his profile about how much he loves to spend six hours a week in Adoration, and then he’ll ask you to talk dirty in chat or something. So, you can’t be lulled into a false sense of security. It’s nice to get off on the right foot: you both have the same beliefs about contraception, you both go to Mass weekly, but beyond that, you’re on your own!

Gee, sad but true. Nevertheless, things like this can happen in person too (just because someone goes to Church and participates in other Catholic activities that does not make them someone you can trust), though being anonymous online may allow for more situations of these kinds to arise.

 

[vluvski]

FYI, just created a thread in the Water Cooler for newly weds and to be weds, primarily to help eachother out with wedding planning and initial stages of marriage.

 

[StephanieC]

Yep, we met through AMS…and the intercession of the Blessed Mother, and St. Joseph, and the Holy Spirit… There was just no way the two of us would have met on our own, when you factor in our geographic locations, different ages, different interests…

Something you want to keep in mind when you’re hoping to meet someone through a Catholic singles site: it’s just another vehicle through which the Holy Spirit may work. You still have to do the work of getting to know the person! There’s nothing wrong with keeping more than one fishing line in the water though… (By that I mean: being open to meeting people at church, work, through family, friends, online, etc…)

AMS states up front that “Our service is for committed, faith-filled, marriage-minded Catholic singles who are seeking to meet their future spouse for the serious commitment in Holy matrimony.” (it’s www.avemariasingles.com, if you’re curious…)

I felt very safe on the site, and knew that the staff would act immediately if I ever reported anything of concern. When meeting someone in person (which I did several times before meeting my now dear husband), I always had a safety plan with someone I could trust (since I wasn’t always eager to announce my date to my family).

We still like getting asked, “So, how did you meet?” We just look at each other and grin, and it often ends up being a beautiful opportunity to share our faith with someone else.

 

[kev7]

well… I’ve tried these dating sites and I have yet to have any success with them. It is very hard to meet someone who is a good catholic. Count yourself very lucky and very blessed if you have.

I thought that it would be a good idea to try them out since it seems to be the only place for catholics to find someone. Maybe it can work for you but for me… it hasn’t.

I have found that most of women on these sites have had previous relationships with non-catholics and have been put in situations where they have had to choose between their faith and the person they were with.

The dating sites are good because they can help you eliminate people who don’t believe in all the churches teachings.

The main problem with the catholic sites is that their membership base is very small.

 

[StephanieC]

kev7:

well… I’ve tried these dating sites and I have yet to have any success with them. It is very hard to meet someone who is a good catholic. Count yourself very lucky and very blessed if you have.

I thought that it would be a good idea to try them out since it seems to be the only place for catholics to find someone. Maybe it can work for you but for me… it hasn’t.

I have found that **most of women on these sites have had previous relationships with non-catholics and have been put in situations where they have had to choose between their faith and the person they were with. **

The dating sites are good because they can help you eliminate people who don’t believe in all the churches teachings.

The main problem with the catholic sites is that their membership base is very small.

Kev7, just curious: are you saying that a woman who has been in a previous relationship with a non-Catholic does not qualify as a good Catholic? I think that you probably mean something different, but that is how your post seemed to logically flow.

Just some food for thought: a small membership base is not necessarily a problem, if it means that it is simply reflecting the numbers of highly devoted, Magisterium-loving single Catholics.

 

[Little_Star]

We were married May of this year. Congratulations! May God continue to bless you on your journey.

 

[kev7]

StephanieC:

Kev7, just curious: are you saying that a woman who has been in a previous relationship with a non-Catholic does not qualify as a good Catholic? I think that you probably mean something different, but that is how your post seemed to logically flow.

Just some food for thought: a small membership base is not necessarily a problem, if it means that it is simply reflecting the numbers of highly devoted, Magisterium-loving single Catholics.

I never said it was a problem. It is just sad that most catholics have to learn the hard way before they realize how important it is to find someone of the same faith

 

[Kev]

What an awesome thread! I am a member of Ave Maria Singles, and honestly didn’t have any expectations going in, I like to think that I don’t need to resort to the online scene to meet the lady God has in mind for me. However, I have figured out that she’s probably not hangin’ out in the bars late night on Saturdays ;>

Thanks for all the good testimonials!

<>

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Kev ><>:

However, I have figured out that she’s probably not hangin’ out in the bars late night on Saturdays ;>

<>

You mean there is not good Catholic girls hanging out all hours of the night at bars? That is where I went wrong

Just kidding. Best of luck to you on Ave Maria, that is where I met my wife of 3 1/2 years.

God Bless Ave Maria Single Catholics Online!

 

[Kev]

You mean there is not good Catholic girls hanging out all hours of the night at bars? That is where I went wrong

Just kidding. Best of luck to you on Ave Maria, that is where I met my wife of 3 1/2 years.

God Bless Ave Maria Single Catholics Online!

Awesome. Congratulations!

<>

 

[Marian84]

I met my boyfriend on Ave Maria Singles in March 2004. I had been a member for nearly a year while he joined only a week before he wrote to me.

We’ve been courting ever since and are going to get engaged as soon as I graduate and move to his state…

 

[Marian84]

1ke:

Yes, I met my husband on Ave Maria. I signed up in late 2001. I met several men, both locally and long distance, over the next two years. In August 2003 my now-husband wrote to me. I knew immediately this guy was the one for me. We wrote, talked on the phone, then met. We dated long distance, traveling back & forth between Texas and Wisconsin. We married August 2005.

I highly recommend it for serious, faithful Catholics who cannot meet like-minded Catholics. I lived in a city of 3 million people, and still found it hard to meet serious Catholic men even though I was very involved in parish, diocesan, and pro-life work. My husband, OTOH, was geographically challenged-- living in a rural area with a very small parish, sparse population overall, and working tons of hours on the farm.

So, I think these sites are a great way for people to meet. Of course, I’m prejudiced!!!

Now, it’s not like we joined and met each other immediately and it was all storybook. I invested time and energy with some other men I met, getting to know them, traveling, etc, and was frustrated it did not work out. But, now I know why… the perfect man for me was just around the corner!

This type of relationship takes a lot of dedication and determination, compared to ones in which the people are in the same town. Not for everyone, but I’m blessed.

1ke, do you have any suggestions on how to go on “dates” long distance? And by that I mean spend time together when you’re not together. Ok, that’s confusing. Let me illustrate: my boyfriend and I try to pray together over the phone–he’s teaching me the rosary in Latin --and we watch movies together over the phone (we both rent the same movie and watch it in our respective states–it’s been great to share our favorites that way!). I’d really welcome any new ideas on how to have fun “dates” when the couple is separated by a big distance for a long time.

God bless,

Marian84

 

[1ke]

1ke, do you have any suggestions on how to go on “dates” long distance? And by that I mean spend time together when you’re not together. Ok, that’s confusing. Let me illustrate: my boyfriend and I try to pray together over the phone–he’s teaching me the rosary in Latin --and we watch movies together over the phone (we both rent the same movie and watch it in our respective states–it’s been great to share our favorites that way!). I’d really welcome any new ideas on how to have fun “dates” when the couple is separated by a big distance for a long time.

God bless,

Marian84

We never did that. We just talked every night.

We did pray together. I put together a novena that we could say in parts, alternating lines and prayers and we would close our nightly talks with that.

Other than that, we didn’t really do anything except talk-- a lot. We did go through parts of several books, reading and then discussing topics. We used Greg Popcak’s For Better… Forever and “Date or Soul Mate” by Neil Clark Warren (the eHarmony guy).

It seemed to work for us w/o the dating thing. Of course we did have in-person dates when we would visit each other’s cities. Sorry I can’t be of more help.