Catholic funeral directives

[EnglishTeacher]

Ok, so I have a semi-morbid question:

As I have mentioned in other posts, I come from an Evangelical/Baptist background. All of my family are also Baptist, and are solidly opposed to my becoming Catholic. I am also single, and have no children. Say I die after entering the Catholic Church, without leaving any funeral directives: Does the Church automatically give me a funeral Mass/Rite of Christian Burial (or whatever they do), or could my family prevent that and hold the funeral service at a Baptist church?

I ask this out of sheer curiosity–I don’t want to die anytime soon, Lord willing.

 

[MarkThompson]

Ok, so I have a semi-morbid question:

As I have mentioned in other posts, I come from an Evangelical/Baptist background. All of my family are also Baptist, and are solidly opposed to my becoming Catholic. I am also single, and have no children. Say I die after entering the Catholic Church, without leaving any funeral directives: Does the Church automatically give me a funeral Mass/Rite of Christian Burial (or whatever they do), or could my family prevent that and hold the funeral service at a Baptist church?

I ask this out of sheer curiosity–I don’t want to die anytime soon, Lord willing.

The Church will not send armed guards to recover your body and bring it to your parish. In that respect, there is no “automatically” about it. If you had asked your priest to say a Mass for your soul, he would presumably do so, but he has no authority to compel the production of your remains for the service, or to have you buried in a Catholic cemetery.

This is why it is important to leave instructions regarding your wishes, because otherwise you’re just relying on people being mind-readers. It is also generally possible to make inheritance depend on the fulfillment of conditions like a specified funeral and burial plan, so if you’re really worried that your family might disregard merely hortatory instructions, that’s an option. Additionally, if you have a Catholic friend or relative to whom you’re close enough to ask it (or someone reliable you’re willing to compensate, like an attorney), you can appoint him or her as executor with the authority to make your funeral arrangements and spend out of your estate to cover them.

Assuming you’re not just in your 20s and idly wondering, this is the sort of thing you would see an estate-planning lawyer to definitively arrange.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Ok, so I have a semi-morbid question:

As I have mentioned in other posts, I come from an Evangelical/Baptist background. All of my family are also Baptist, and are solidly opposed to my becoming Catholic. I am also single, and have no children. Say I die after entering the Catholic Church, without leaving any funeral directives: Does the Church automatically give me a funeral Mass/Rite of Christian Burial (or whatever they do), or could my family prevent that and hold the funeral service at a Baptist church?

I ask this out of sheer curiosity–I don’t want to die anytime soon, Lord willing.

I suspect that you’re in a very tricky situation. When you die it is usually one of your relatives who arranges your funeral. That can mean that your wishes regarding your funeral may not be carried out. I do not agree with what my mother has chosen but I will carry out her wishes. Unfortunately relatives do not always respect the deceased’s wishes.

In England I am fairly sure that even if your wishes are written into your will, your relatives are not obliged to carry them out. Even if you leave the money to pay for everything.

The only hope I can see is that the person they ask to conduct your funeral may ask what religion you were. If they answer truthfully he may try to persuade them to arrange the funeral in the Catholic Church.

 

[PatriceA]

I suspect that you’re in a very tricky situation. When you die it is usually one of your relatives who arranges your funeral. That can mean that your wishes regarding your funeral may not be carried out. I do not agree with what my mother has chosen but I will carry out her wishes. Unfortunately relatives do not always respect the deceased’s wishes.

In England I am fairly sure that even if your wishes are written into your will, your relatives are not obliged to carry them out. Even if you leave the money to pay for everything.

The only hope I can see is that the person they ask to conduct your funeral may ask what religion you were. If they answer truthfully he may try to persuade them to arrange the funeral in the Catholic Church.

Power of Attorney would make sure your funeral wishes would be carried out to what you wanted, at least here in the states it would. Anyone contemplating this kind of situation, get a living will now and give someone specific power of attorney concerning your funeral plans if you do not trust your family to respect your plans.

 

[Catherine_k]

I have a radical suggestion. Contact the local funeral homes, and see if they have a “prepaid” funeral program. The idea us that you make all the decisions, sign z contact and money is either paid directly at that time Or placed in an escrow account on your behalf. You can stipulate exactly what you want… If you cannot trust family to respect your wishes, there are non-confrontational ways of bypassing the problem.

Welcome

 

[Agape_Thom]

Power of Attorney would make sure your funeral wishes would be carried out to what you wanted, at least here in the states it would. Anyone contemplating this kind of situation, get a living will now and give someone specific power of attorney concerning your funeral plans if you do not trust your family to respect your plans.

I am not an attorney, but I am a former funeral director. In most states power of attorney ceases at death.

 

[PatriceA]

I am not an attorney, but I am a former funeral director. In most states power of attorney ceases at death.

Good to know.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Power of Attorney would make sure your funeral wishes would be carried out to what you wanted, at least here in the states it would. Anyone contemplating this kind of situation, get a living will now and give someone specific power of attorney concerning your funeral plans if you do not trust your family to respect your plans.

Perhaps power of attorney is a different creature from what it is in the UK. In the UK power of attorney is when you grant someone the power to manage your affairs. If you granted someone power of attorney it seems to me it would take away your rights rather than protect them. Plus, it ends with death so the person with power of attorney could not arrange your funeral.

 

[puzzleannie]

Ok, so I have a semi-morbid question:

As I have mentioned in other posts, I come from an Evangelical/Baptist background. All of my family are also Baptist, and are solidly opposed to my becoming Catholic. I am also single, and have no children. Say I die after entering the Catholic Church, without leaving any funeral directives: Does the Church automatically give me a funeral Mass/Rite of Christian Burial (or whatever they do), or could my family prevent that and hold the funeral service at a Baptist church?

I ask this out of sheer curiosity–I don’t want to die anytime soon, Lord willing.

no church will automatically hold any kind of a funeral service, the family has to ask for it and discuss which of the available options they prefer, choose a time and date etc. Legally your next of kin will have custody of your body after your death and the say-so on how your remains will be cared for. As a single person you should probably designate someone to take this reponsibility, not in a will which is usually not opened until after the funeral but in a companion document, and you will discuss your wishes with this person when you select him. fyi a person who has not yet formally been admitted into full communion with the Catholic Church, or even a person not yet baptized, may have a Catholic funeral if he has been in the process of preparing to enter the Church.

some funeral homes sell pre-arranged funeral plans, but a next of kin still has to notify them to put those plans in motion.

 

[johnnykins]

Power of Attorney would make sure your funeral wishes would be carried out to what you wanted, at least here in the states it would. Anyone contemplating this kind of situation, get a living will now and give someone specific power of attorney concerning your funeral plans if you do not trust your family to respect your plans.

Sorry, but a Power of Attorney ends at death of the principal.

 

[johnnykins]

BTW, as an interesting aside, it is this very issue - who makes decisions at the death of a person - that is one of the main reasons gay couples are pushing for marital rights. A will is not probated for weeks or months and a Power of Attorney ends at death, so family members make the decisions on burials and funerals; often contrary to the wishes of the deceased.

 

[johnnykins]

Perhaps power of attorney is a different creature from what it is in the UK. In the UK power of attorney is when you grant someone the power to manage your affairs. If you granted someone power of attorney it seems to me it would take away your rights rather than protect them. Plus, it ends with death so the person with power of attorney could not arrange your funeral.

No, it’s the same. Usually they deal with money, property and the like, but can include certain powers such as the ability to make health care decisions. However, they always end at the death of the principal, and unless they are deemed “Durable” (usually a statute must allow for such) they end at the incompetence of the principal since the attorney can have no more power than the principal. The Attorney in Fact, as such, has no power at all once the principal is dead.

 

[thistle]

No, it’s the same. Usually they deal with money, property and the like, but can include certain powers such as the ability to make health care decisions. However, they always end at the death of the principal, and unless they are deemed “Durable” (usually a statute must allow for such) they end at the incompetence of the principal since the attorney can have no more power than the principal. The Attorney in Fact, as such, has no power at all once the principal is dead.

An executor of someone’s estate by definition has power of attorney to ensure the wishes of the deceased are carried out so it cannot cease at death. In fact it starts then.

 

[johnnykins]

An executor of someone’s estate by definition has power of attorney to ensure the wishes of the deceased are carried out so it cannot cease at death. In fact it starts then.

A will is not a power of attorney. An executor is appointed by a will. Also, wills are not probated for quite a long time after death. There is no executor at the time of death because no will shall have been probated at that time.

 

[thistle]

A will is not a power of attorney. An executor is appointed by a will. Also, wills are not probated for quite a long time after death. There is no executor at the time of death because no will shall have been probated at that time.

It has the same effect as a power of attorney.
The point is that a validly executed will appointing an executor (outside the family because the deceased knew that the family would not abide by his/her wishes) will ensure the deceased’s wishes (assuming they don’t break the law) will be carried out. The family would not be able to prevent the deceased having a Catholic funeral.

 

[johnnykins]

It has the same effect as a power of attorney.
The point is that a validly executed will appointing an executor (outside the family because the deceased knew that the family would not abide by his/her wishes) will ensure the deceased’s wishes (assuming they don’t break the law) will be carried out. The family would not be able to prevent the deceased having a Catholic funeral.

The point is a will take weeks to get probated and the deceased will have long been buried by then. A will is of little practical help.

 

[thistle]

The point is a will take weeks to get probated and the deceased will have long been buried by then. A will is of little practical help.

I totally disagree. The powers of the executor come into effect immediately upon the death of the party concerned and it is the executor who will make the funeral arrangements, not the family.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

I totally disagree. The powers of the executor come into effect immediately upon the death of the party concerned and it is the executor who will make the funeral arrangements, not the family.

Not so. I registered my father’s death and arranged his funeral. I was neither his next of kin nor an executor of his will.

 

[Spirithound]

Although your understanding is correct, that it is highly preferable to have the body present at the funeral, I don’t think it is absolutely necessary. In this way, you can include provisions for a Requiem Mass in your will, and be assured that it will happen.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Although your understanding is correct, that it is highly preferable to have the body present at the funeral, I don’t think it is absolutely necessary. In this way, you can include provisions for a Requiem Mass in your will, and be assured that it will happen.

Can I clarify what you are saying? Of course, Requiem Mass may refer to any Mass for the dead but I want to be sure that you are talking about the Funeral Mass. I know that there is information on the website of the US Bishops’ conference about Funeral Masses with a urn of the deceased’s ashes present but that documentation states the presence of the body is the norm and to be preferred. It also indicates that it’s a concession in the USA.

I know any Mass can be applied for the intention of any dead person. There are several different Masses of the dead that can be celebrated for dead person. However, I thought, and I may be wrong, that the body had to be present at the Funeral Mass.