Catholic funeral without the body?

[DarkLight]

Do you even read our posts? Or are you just shooting from the hip?

As I said, “In the normal course of events,” I never said young people never have health problems. Or that young people never die.

So is it is worth worrying about? Not really.

Why do you spend time worrying about things you can’t change?

And you have made it pretty clear that you can’t change your situation.

No. I was trying to point out that you’ve been focusing on advising me to change the aspects of the situation that can’t be changed, when I was trying to ask about the aspects that are under my control. My question was never about making my family release any remains for a Catholic funeral, because that’s not something that can be changed. Apparently it took several posts and a link to a legal site for people to actually accept that and answer the question I actually asked, not the one about making my family do something that I have no legal power to do that you seem to be answering.

So yes, I read your posts. Now if you have an answer to the ACTUAL question, which is about how to get a Catholic funeral WITHOUT having the body available or having arrangements made through family?

 

[maryjk]

No. I was trying to point out that you’ve been focusing on advising me to change the aspects of the situation that can’t be changed, when I was trying to ask about the aspects that are under my control. My question was never about making my family release any remains for a Catholic funeral, because that’s not something that can be changed. Apparently it took several posts and a link to a legal site for people to actually accept that and answer the question I actually asked, not the one about making my family do something that I have no legal power to do that you seem to be answering.

So yes, I read your posts. Now if you have an answer to the ACTUAL question, which is about how to get a Catholic funeral WITHOUT having the body available or having arrangements made through family?

TALK to your PASTOR.

You know, the same advice that I gave, as did others.

 

[DarkLight]

TALK to your PASTOR.

You know, the same advice that I gave, as did others.

And if that doesn’t work? I know I brought it up and he just sort of waved it off. Hence why I was trying to ask about other options, preferably without getting into the sort of huge debate that bringing up problems with priests always seems to have.

 

[felsguy]

You might consider writing a simple letter requesting that when you die a Mass be said for the repose of your soul. Leave it with a friend, preferably a Catholic one, with instructions to forward to a priest upon your death. You might even put a $10.00 bill in with it for the Mass stipend. If over time you lose touch with that friend and it’s still a concern for you, that write another letter and give it to a new friend. I think that would be a small price to pay for some peace of mind over this.

Knowing that at least one Mass will be said for the repose of one’s soul certainly offers some consolation. Whether or not the body is present would not be that important.

 

[Joannm]

After 9/11 we had a number of “funerals” in our parish without bodies. I put funeral in quotes because technically it is not a funeral mass but a memorial mass since there was no body. But except for the absence of a casket or urn and the blessing of the the body, you could not tell the difference between these masses and funeral masses. If you have a good Catholic friend you can make arrangements for this to be done.

I also know people whose family members died in another state and could not be transported to where most of their family and friend’s lived. They celebrate a Month’s Mind Mass for the deceased to pray for his or her soul.

In cases where there is no body a picture of the deceased is usually placed on a table where a casket would normally be.

 

[Memaw]

And if that doesn’t work? I know I brought it up and he just sort of waved it off. Hence why I was trying to ask about other options, preferably without getting into the sort of huge debate that bringing up problems with priests always seems to have.

I’m sorry but this sounds to me like another one of those "run around’ stories where you "tried everything and nothing works. We know better! God Bless. Memaw

 

[DarkLight]

I’m sorry but this sounds to me like another one of those "run around’ stories where you "tried everything and nothing works. We know better! God Bless. Memaw

Gee, thanks for telling me you know more about my life than I do. What pray tell am I supposed to do to actually get answers instead of being accused of lying if YOUR way doesn’t work?

I really did talk to our pastor. The problem is that what he said doesn’t fit with the law in our state - his comment was basically that’s something I have to take care of with a family and a will, and I didn’t want to get into an argument pointing out what the law actually says. He also seemed to be rather put off that I’d be concerned with such a thing.

 

[DarkLight]

You might consider writing a simple letter requesting that when you die a Mass be said for the repose of your soul. Leave it with a friend, preferably a Catholic one, with instructions to forward to a priest upon your death. You might even put a $10.00 bill in with it for the Mass stipend. If over time you lose touch with that friend and it’s still a concern for you, that write another letter and give it to a new friend. I think that would be a small price to pay for some peace of mind over this.

Knowing that at least one Mass will be said for the repose of one’s soul certainly offers some consolation. Whether or not the body is present would not be that important.

That’s probably the best idea - I was trying to figure out if it would work. Like I asked before, what would a priest do if someone called up requesting a memorial mass in such a situation?

 

[Memaw]

Gee, thanks for telling me you know more about my life than I do. What pray tell am I supposed to do to actually get answers instead of being accused of lying if YOUR way doesn’t work?

I really did talk to our pastor. The problem is that what he said doesn’t fit with the law in our state - his comment was basically that’s something I have to take care of with a family and a will, and I didn’t want to get into an argument pointing out what the law actually says. He also seemed to be rather put off that I’d be concerned with such a thing.

It seems everything anyone has suggested, you’ve already done, and it didn’t work. so what do you expect of us? There isn’t a whole lot more to be said about it. Going around in circles doesn’ t solve anything. I never said I knew more about your life but I have lived long enough to know a few things and I have experienced some of these things. I have been to funerals where the person donated their body to science and just had a Memoral Mass, I have been to one when the person was cremeated and the body was not at the Mass. Also one when the body could not be found. and also a Mass said for someone buried out of this state. If you expect someone to do the impossable when it comes to the laws in your state, I’m afraid your gonna be disappointed God Bless, Memaw

 

[Memaw]

That’s probably the best idea - I was trying to figure out if it would work. Like I asked before, what would a priest do if someone called up requesting a memorial mass in such a situation?

Call one up and find out!, God Bless, Memaw

 

[DarkLight]

It seems everything anyone has suggested, you’ve already done, and it didn’t work. so what do you expect of us? There isn’t a whole lot more to be said about it. Going around in circles doesn’ t solve anything. I never said I knew more about your life but I have lived long enough to know a few things and I have experienced some of these things. I have been to funerals where the person donated their body to science and just had a Memoral Mass, I have been to one when the person was cremeated and the body was not at the Mass. Also one when the body could not be found. and also a Mass said for someone buried out of this state. If you expect someone to do the impossable when it comes to the laws in your state, I’m afraid your gonna be disappointed God Bless, Memaw

I’m not sure why everyone’s so fixated on me wanting to “change the laws in my state,” since I have never once asked to change it. In fact the only referencing I have done to the laws is repeating multiple times what they are in the face of people telling me I really should do things that aren’t legal in my state?

I’m trying to get answers and my local pastor isn’t being terribly helpful, so I came here. I expect there’s complications when someone who isn’t the “official” person responsible for funeral arrangements is trying to arrange a memorial service anyway, which is what I’d need to do. That’s where I’m having trouble - everything I’ve found seems to rely either a will or cooperative family, neither of which are available in this case. The advice I’m getting from my pastor doesn’t accord with the laws of my state and I feel like I’m having trouble getting him to take me seriously enough to answer this. Hence why I turned here - in hopes that someone might actually take me seriously enough to not just repeat that I need to do the impossible, but actually work with me on something that is possible.

 

[maryjk]

I’m not sure why everyone’s so fixated on me wanting to “change the laws in my state,” since I have never once asked to change it. In fact the only referencing I have done to the laws is repeating multiple times what they are in the face of people telling me I really should do things that aren’t legal in my state?

I’m trying to get answers and my local pastor isn’t being terribly helpful, so I came here. I expect there’s complications when someone who isn’t the “official” person responsible for funeral arrangements is trying to arrange a memorial service anyway, which is what I’d need to do. That’s where I’m having trouble - everything I’ve found seems to rely either a will or cooperative family, neither of which are available in this case. The advice I’m getting from my pastor doesn’t accord with the laws of my state and I feel like I’m having trouble getting him to take me seriously enough to answer this. Hence why I turned here - in hopes that someone might actually take me seriously enough to not just repeat that I need to do the impossible, but actually work with me on something that is possible.

Everything and anything that we have come up with, you have said, won’t work.

It is very difficult to suggest anything when you refuse to take any advice.

So here goes again, one last time.

Make an appointment. Don’t try to grab him after Mass.

Speak with your pastor.

Explain everything. Make sure he knows that your parents don’t know that you converted. Explain what you have read on line. Print it out, if you can.

If he won’t listen.

Go to the pastor at the Catholic church by your parents. (You have said before that you live far enough away that it is a trip to visit.)

Tell him the same thing.

THEN tell us if it worked.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

This is very sad. To be so afraid to be honest with one’s parents and other family members and to be afraid to be brave and bold about admitting to one’s faith, so much so that there is worry or concern about what will happen upon one’s death. Especially sad for a young person in ill health, perhaps dependent on her parents. You are the light of the world and and that light needs to shine.