Catholic guy dating a JW girl.. Please help..

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continuing…

I was acquainted many years ago with a Protestant couple who had three young kids. Marriage was fine until the wife decided to become a JW. Husband ended up beside himself. She would not participate in any of the Christian holidays, kids birthdays, or patriotic celebrations. He had to do all of it if the kids were to have any traditions.

When asked why she was not helping she replied that she was not stopping the family from doing what they wanted. True. What she was doing was sequesting herself in her room leaving the family to celebrate Christmas without her. Passive agressive behavior. The kids ranged in age from three to 10. Father was beside himself and ended up suing for a divorce with sole custody of the kids. And up an up hill battle that was.

Please read up on JWs. I believe it is a strong requirement that all go door-to-door. Also they apparently believe that only 400 or so persons will obtain heaven. What’s the purpose of this religion if it has been determined your chances are nil from the get-go?

You are a man and someday you will be a father. You will pass down your Catholic beliefs to your children because you want your children to obtain everlasting life and to know the TRUTH. This is what your ancestors gave to you and it is an awesome gift. Give it to your children. :blessyou:
 
I think my insight will help you. I am married to a JW woman. I studied with the JWs just to show them they are wrong but as a I fell more and more in love with my wife, I found myself wanting to believe them more and more. Eventually I was baptized as a JW but it was short lived. After about five years as a JW, I could see all of the changed doctrines, predictions, and non-biblical teachings. The problem was that they had attacked the Catholic church so much that I didn’t believe any religion. After another ten years of riding the fence, trying to support her and true to my conscience at the same time but it was hard. In the last year, I have found myself called by God to come back to the Catholic church. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE. She will not allow me to have ANY Catholic items in the home. She claims that statues of Mary and Jesus are idols that will invite Satan into our home, I can’t have Catholic friends over because they are a ‘Bad Association’. I am limited to reading the Bible and going to Mass. Even going to Mass causes two or three days of her being angry and mean or just getting the silent treatment. She refused to have children with me because Armagedon was around the corner. I wanted children so much. Though I am trying to come back to the Catholic church, it is extremely hard. If I do, all our friends and her family will not talk to me or visit us (because they will Disfellowship me). She will not allow us to have Catholic friends so that kind of leaves us friendless. I am isolated.

In her congregation, I know at least three Strong Catholics that after 10 years of fighting with their wives, finally gave in and became JWs. Now they will suffer the concequences of abandoning Jesus Christ. As the Bible says ‘For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to open shame.’ (NASB) Heb. 6:4-6.

Jesus Christ was impaled on the Cross for you. Will you even take the chance of abandoning him for someone who doesn’t love you enough to study Catholic teachings through RCIA but requires you to study her beliefs.

I will pray for you. God Bless
 
St_Donatus said:
As the Bible says ‘For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to open shame.’ (NASB) Heb. 6:4-6.

Jesus Christ was impaled on the Cross for you. Will you even take the chance of abandoning him for someone who doesn’t love you enough to study Catholic teachings through RCIA but requires you to study her beliefs.

I will pray for you. God Bless
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👍👍👍
 
St_Donatus said:
I think my insight will help you. I am married to a JW woman. I studied with the JWs just to show them they are wrong but as a I fell more and more in love with my wife, I found myself wanting to believe them more and more. Eventually I was baptized as a JW but it was short lived. After about five years as a JW, I could see all of the changed doctrines, predictions, and non-biblical teachings. The problem was that they had attacked the Catholic church so much that I didn’t believe any religion. After another ten years of riding the fence, trying to support her and true to my conscience at the same time but it was hard. In the last year, I have found myself called by God to come back to the Catholic church. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE. She will not allow me to have ANY Catholic items in the home. She claims that statues of Mary and Jesus are idols that will invite Satan into our home, I can’t have Catholic friends over because they are a ‘Bad Association’. I am limited to reading the Bible and going to Mass. Even going to Mass causes two or three days of her being angry and mean or just getting the silent treatment. She refused to have children with me because Armagedon was around the corner. I wanted children so much. Though I am trying to come back to the Catholic church, it is extremely hard. If I do, all our friends and her family will not talk to me or visit us (because they will Disfellowship me). She will not allow us to have Catholic friends so that kind of leaves us friendless. I am isolated.

In her congregation, I know at least three Strong Catholics that after 10 years of fighting with their wives, finally gave in and became JWs. Now they will suffer the concequences of abandoning Jesus Christ. As the Bible says ‘For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to open shame.’ (NASB) Heb. 6:4-6.

Jesus Christ was impaled on the Cross for you. Will you even take the chance of abandoning him for someone who doesn’t love you enough to study Catholic teachings through RCIA but requires you to study her beliefs.

I will pray for you. God Bless
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Wouldn’t it be better for you to leave? You don’t have children, she didn’t want them, you can’t practice your religion in peace. I can’t imagine you were married in the Catholic Church. Why stay?
 
St_Donatus said:
I think my insight will help you. I am married to a JW woman. I studied with the JWs just to show them they are wrong but as a I fell more and more in love with my wife, I found myself wanting to believe them more and more. Eventually I was baptized as a JW but it was short lived. After about five years as a JW, I could see all of the changed doctrines, predictions, and non-biblical teachings. The problem was that they had attacked the Catholic church so much that I didn’t believe any religion. After another ten years of riding the fence, trying to support her and true to my conscience at the same time but it was hard. In the last year, I have found myself called by God to come back to the Catholic church. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE. She will not allow me to have ANY Catholic items in the home. She claims that statues of Mary and Jesus are idols that will invite Satan into our home, I can’t have Catholic friends over because they are a ‘Bad Association’. I am limited to reading the Bible and going to Mass. Even going to Mass causes two or three days of her being angry and mean or just getting the silent treatment. She refused to have children with me because Armagedon was around the corner. I wanted children so much. Though I am trying to come back to the Catholic church, it is extremely hard. If I do, all our friends and her family will not talk to me or visit us (because they will Disfellowship me). She will not allow us to have Catholic friends so that kind of leaves us friendless. I am isolated.
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Wow. That’s an incredibly heavy cross to bear. Do you have any Catholic family or friends you’re able to confide in, even over the phone or by e-mail?

And have you considered applying for an annulment (if you were married in a Catholic church) or filing for a civil divorce (if you were married at a Kingdom Hall)?
In her congregation, I know at least three Strong Catholics that after 10 years of fighting with their wives, finally gave in and became JWs. Now they will suffer the concequences of abandoning Jesus Christ. As the Bible says ‘For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to open shame.’ (NASB) Heb. 6:4-6.
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That’s distressing… but they may return. The blatant defects in JW theology can’t remain hidden or ignored forever.
Jesus Christ was impaled on the Cross for you.
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Remember, Catholics believe that Jesus was crucified. 🙂
Will you even take the chance of abandoning him for someone who doesn’t love you enough to study Catholic teachings through RCIA but requires you to study her beliefs.
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That’s a good question, one which I second.

I’ll remember you in my prayers.
 
CleverUserName said:
St. Donatus, I will pray for you.
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Thanks so much for your prayers. I very much need and appreciate those prayers. What really caused me to take a stand was a ‘sign’ I believe God gave me. I was driving to mass while listening to Catholic radio and a priest was giving a sermon on putting God first. He gave a nice illustration about a old man from Crete (a island south of Italy) that loved his neighbors and country selflessly. When about to die, he took a handful of Crete soil to warm his heart as he passed from this world to the next. When he got to the pearly gates, Peter asked if he put God first in his life and the old man said yes. Peter said he would have to drop the soil in his hand. The old man refused, saying that he loved Crete so much and that little handful of soil was all he wanted to bring. Peter said God must be first place in everything. The next day, Mary came to the man and asked if he was ready to come in to heaven, but the old man again refused to drop the handful of soil. Finally on the next day, the child Jesus came to the man and asked if he would just let the soil go and come in. The old man looked at the soil in his which had now dried out and was sand, it fell through his fingers and he let go of the rest. When the old man came into heaven, all his friend on Crete who had passed away, were there to greet him and heaven looked as beautiful as Crete to him.
At that very moment, I looked up to see a white semi trailer sitting on the side of the road with ‘CRETE’ spelled in red letters. Nothing else was on the trailer and it was turned to the highway like a billboard. My devotion to my wife was what I was putting ahead of God. I immediately made arrangements to talk to a priest about getting right with the Catholic church again.

As I said earlier, it has been very difficult, but God has blessed me spiritually and he is a much better friend than those I will loose. As for my wife, I still love her and won’t leave her unless she either refuses to have our marriage blessed by the church or our relationship becomes unbearable and effects my ability to practice my Catholic faith.

Thanks again for your concern and prayers.
 
aicirt said:
Wouldn’t it be better for you to leave? You don’t have children, she didn’t want them, you can’t practice your religion in peace. I can’t imagine you were married in the Catholic Church. Why stay?
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The real reason is that I still love her. I am currently not able to receive communion because we were married in the Kingdom Hall. If she will not allow us to make the marriage right with the church, I will have no choice but to divorce her since the church doesn’t recognize the marriage. We have been living as brother and sister but a church lawyer told me that our marriage is not valid (sacramental) so even living with her is wrong.

I will be calling the priest tomorrow to see how to move forward.

Thanks for your concern.
 
Trebor135

Do you have any Catholic family or friends you’re able to confide in, even over the phone or by e-mail?
ANSWER: My family is all Catholic so I do have them, though they all live far away. I also have people at work but none of them are really friends since we can’t have them over, or do anything with them.

And have you considered applying for an annulment (if you were married in a Catholic church) or filing for a civil divorce (if you were married at a Kingdom Hall)?
ANSWER: As I responded to someone earlier, there is no reason for an annulment since the Kingdom Hall wedding was not recognized since it is not sacramental and is to a different God than we worship (Jesus is not God for them). The wedding was not valid so we are now living in a sinful state. I am living as brother and sister with her but we still live together which gives the wrong impression. To get right with the church, we need to have it sacramentally recognized by the church.

I will pray for these lapsed Catholics who became JWs.

Thank you for your prayers.
 
If you truly love her you should be able to get around the religious difference. Just understand eachother and set boundries. If she truly cares about you she will be with you either way 🙂
 
St_Donatus said:
The real reason is that I still love her. I am currently not able to receive communion because we were married in the Kingdom Hall. If she will not allow us to make the marriage right with the church, I will have no choice but to divorce her since the church doesn’t recognize the marriage. We have been living as brother and sister but a church lawyer told me that our marriage is not valid (sacramental) so even living with her is wrong.

I will be calling the priest tomorrow to see how to move forward.

Thanks for your concern.
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That was a beautiful story about Crete and you certainly were given a sign!!! 👍

God is looking out after you. Follow. Don’t be afraid. Signs are real. :blessyou:
 
PS

St. Donatus…After that beautiful sign, I think you should consider changing your signature from Jehovah Witness? to I’m Coming Home!! 😃
 
aicirt said:
PS

St. Donatus…After that beautiful sign, I think you should consider changing your signature from Jehovah Witness? to I’m Coming Home!! 😃
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That is a nice suggestion but I think I will leave it the way it is so that others who might be leaning toward the JWs will perhaps look at my own experience prior to making a rash decision. Besides, my wife was upset this morning again and it hurt so much it shook my resolve. I still have a lot of work to do!
 
Incomplete said:
I will, too! And thanking God for bringing you home, no matter how difficult!

Your story gave me chills. God loves you so much!
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Thank you for your thoughts and concerns.
The sad thing is that the JWs propaganda techniques are so strong, that even with signs as powerful as that, while talking to my wife about her pain at my leaving the JWs, my concern and love for her tugged at me, telling me to go back to the JWs. You know, to act the act so she will be happy. I would rather die than hurt her but then I remember that there is much more to it than that. I need to remember that her eternal salvation is at stake too. What if by taking my stand, she someday follows me back to Jesus Christ’s saving grace?

Sometimes I just don’t want to believe in God at all because, if I don’t believe in God, I can continue to support her in the JWs. Yes, I would have to swallow my pride and be a true hypocrite, but I would make her happy and I would be happy because we would have a better relationship.

But again, what about God. He deserves my service and devotion. He sent his son to die a terrible death for me. He loves me and wants me to be a part of his followers. Also, though I may be happy, both my wife’s and my eternal salvation is involved.

And finally, I already know I wouldn’t be happy. I tried that before and it didn’t work. My wife wants me to study with them (their brainwashing techniques in reality), to convince myself that they have the truth, but I think that is water under the bridge. I know that the only way that I can believe that JWs have the truth, is if I allow myself to be brainwashed. God doesn’t need brainwashing to make true Christians. He only needs his Holy Spirit and our willingness to bow down and accept his guidance even if it takes us to places we don’t want to go.

Again, thank you for your concern.

I noticed your name ‘Incomplete’. Is their a reason for such an interesting user name?
 
Your honesty and openness moves me a lot.

I was having the same thoughts about your wife and her salvation. I’m glad you love her so much; love is of God, and your love for her shows God in you. I will pray with you that God brings her back to His Church.

She wants you to study; is she willing to study Catholicism? I do understand her misery if she thinks you are leaving the only path to God. It could reassure her if she studied Catholicism and if she could see some of the flaws you see in her church teachings…though it might be way too threatening to her instead.

When talking to your priest, ask him about saints who have, through years of faithfulness, brought their spouses to Truth. It does make it more difficult if they advise that you can’t live with her any longer. You might want to double-check to see if there’s anything you can do if you are willing to make the marriage right but she is not.

Thank you for the compliment on my username. It’s a reminder of who I am until I totally belong to God. (Credit a band called Switchfoot for putting the name in my head.)
 
Incomplete said:
She wants you to study; is she willing to study Catholicism? I do understand her misery if she thinks you are leaving the only path to God. It could reassure her if she studied Catholicism and if she could see some of the flaws you see in her church teachings…though it might be way too threatening to her instead.
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If I’m correct don’t JWs have a pretty strong stance against reading the documents of other religion? Something to the extent of all other religions and secular organizations being of Satan so their works are the works of Satan. It’s one of those tricks outlying religions use to keep their people from being drawn away by other traditions.

If she Realy loves you she should understand your hang up. Obviousely she cares for you and your soul but at the same time she must respect your choice. If not being married within the church is realy that big a tie up as you has stated, maybe just see if you can have a priest do a short marriage cerimony for you in a catholic church. Doesnt have to be fancy if you don’t want, just the sacrament itself to make it Kosher with the church. If she already married you once she shouldn’t mind profesing your love again.

No matter what happens, good luck. :)👍
 
Incomplete said:
She wants you to study; is she willing to study Catholicism? I do understand her misery if she thinks you are leaving the only path to God. It could reassure her if she studied Catholicism and if she could see some of the flaws you see in her church teachings…though it might be way too threatening to her instead.

When talking to your priest, ask him about saints who have, through years of faithfulness, brought their spouses to Truth. It does make it more difficult if they advise that you can’t live with her any longer. You might want to double-check to see if there’s anything you can do if you are willing to make the marriage right but she is
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I really think that is wishful thinking re. her or any JW studying any other religion much less Catholicism. This is a cult. Their thinking on Christ is wacky. Anything you say as a Catholic is seen as coming from Satan so there is no conversation. Either she’ll have it her way or he’ll get the silent treatment and whatever else can be used to make him heel.
 
St_Donatus said:
Thank you for your thoughts and concerns.
The sad thing is that the JWs propaganda techniques are so strong, that even with signs as powerful as that, while talking to my wife about her pain at my leaving the JWs, my concern and love for her tugged at me, telling me to go back to the JWs. You know, to act the act so she will be happy. I would rather die than hurt her but then I remember that there is much more to it than that. I need to remember that her eternal salvation is at stake too. What if by taking my stand, she someday follows me back to Jesus Christ’s saving grace?

Sometimes I just don’t want to believe in God at all because, if I don’t believe in God, I can continue to support her in the JWs. Yes, I would have to swallow my pride and be a true hypocrite, but I would make her happy and I would be happy because we would have a better relationship.

But again, what about God. He deserves my service and devotion. He sent his son to die a terrible death for me. He loves me and wants me to be a part of his followers. Also, though I may be happy, both my wife’s and my eternal salvation is involved.

And finally, I already know I wouldn’t be happy. I tried that before and it didn’t work. My wife wants me to study with them (their brainwashing techniques in reality), to convince myself that they have the truth, but I think that is water under the bridge. I know that the only way that I can believe that JWs have the truth, is if I allow myself to be brainwashed. God doesn’t need brainwashing to make true Christians. He only needs his Holy Spirit and our willingness to bow down and accept his guidance even if it takes us to places we don’t want to go.

Again, thank you for your concern.

I noticed your name ‘Incomplete’. Is their a reason for such an interesting user name?
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Are you familiar with the saying “Let go and let God”? My thought is you are the prize. Getting you to convert is her goal. If you are not there because you will not convert and, therefore, cannot be where sin exists, she’ll be alone with God. And then having lost the battle to win you, God can get in to win the war with her.
 
aicirt said:
Are you familiar with the saying “Let go and let God”? My thought is you are the prize. Getting you to convert is her goal. If you are not there because you will not convert and, therefore, cannot be where sin exists, she’ll be alone with God. And then having lost the battle to win you, God can get in to win the war with her.
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As it tough as it might be, date a girl with a good Catholic faith (although I dated and married a Lutheran and she is now one terrific Catholic). That is a much better foundation to have than having a relationship with a JW. One alternative would be for you to ask her to attend RCIA starting in the Fall. If she says no then I’d say bye. I would expect her to keep it a secret as she would be shunned in her church. Under no circumstances attend her “cult”. :dts:
 
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