Catholic help for premature ejaculation

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I am in my mid-30s, have been married for 6 years to a my wonderful wife and have 3 beautiful children. My problem is i suffer from severe premature ejaculation. To the point that it has caused problems in the sexual relationship with my wife. While my wife is very understanding, it has caused this part of our marriage to be very unenjoyable for me. Its something i cant really enjoy because its over before it really even starts (if you know what I mean). I have been hoping (for 6 years) that I will eventually get over this problem naturally but that does not seem to be the case.

I have done some research to find ways to help “cure” this problem, but most things I find seem to get into areas that would be morally acceptable.

Some of the things I have found include the following: I read one of the prescribed solutions from a Doctor would be to try anti-depressant drugs. I am not too crazy about taking anti-depressant drugs though.

Most remedies I have found include techniques that use certain “excercises” that involve manual stimulation. All these solutions either involve self masturbation or spousal masturbation to ejaculation. Both of which I know are not acceptable.

I have thought about going to a doctor or urologist for help but am afriad i will hear the same solutions that will go against Catholic teachings.

I really dont know who to go to since this is very personal (and embarrassing) and I feel that most of the “solutions” I have found are not based on Catholic teachings. But with the way that this is affecting my marriage, I feel like I need to do something.

Is anyone aware of something/someone that would help and be in line with Church teaching? Or can you point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance for any help.
 
I am full of opinions on things, including on sexuality issues, but this site does not want to turn itself into the Dr. Ruth of the Net. In effect, we would be ignoring the Faith and drawing too much attention to the Juicy Stuff.

Also, what you are asking comes close to asking for medical advice – a no-no for a site like this.

So…

(1) Pray with faith. Not like this: “God, ya gotta help me; God, ya gotta help me; God, ya gotta help me; God, ya gotta help me.” I think God hates prayers like that, because they are repeated because they reflect a lack of faith in the Big Guy. If you pray with faith, I promise you that the answer will come zipping in the door.

(2) See a psych. (If you need a referral, make sure that the doctor says that it’s for “marriage counseling.” I got a referral for “depression,” and that word, in my GP file, voided my life insurance.)
 
Thanks for the response. By no means am I trying to draw attention to the Juicy stuff and ignoring the faith. If I were tyring to do that then I would simple use the techniques I found and not care about the Faith and whether they are acceptable. I am trying to live my Faith in somethng that is very difficult and causing my marriage to suffer. I wish I could take the easy rode but my Faith is too important. If this cant be answered because its considered a medial question then I understand. Thanks for your comments.
 
I would speak with your priest and a Catholic doctor who has treated such patients if you can find one or get a referral.
 
Cookies 1, please amend your registration to allow private messages.
 
I’m not a guy but I think that if you pray about it and see a Catholic doctor, you might be able to get this situation resolved without violating any moral principles.
 
I understand the reticence to talk about premature ejaculation, but I really would like to hear any solutions people may know of since I also suffer from this and it hasn’t helped my marriage any.

Some posts I’ve seen here on the subject seem to be somewhat mired in scrupulosity and a negative view of sexuality which isn’t very helpful. The catholic bishops’ foryourmarriage.org website is wonderful and has caring advice for people to improve their marriages including in the area of sexuality. However, they don’t have anything about sexual dysfunctions like PE.

So, any help would be appreciated.

God bless.
 
Any doctor should give you alternatives to masturbation to climax if you ask for them. There is no shame in saying that your religion views this as wrong and could you have another option, please. Any doctor unwilling to help with this is not a doctor worth seeing.
 
Just go to a doctor, I am sure there are techniques or drugs that you can use without having to masturbate. If you have been suffering for 6 years and the problem hasn’t gone away I doubt it will go away by just thinking about baseball.
 
I suffered from Premature Ejaculation ever since I started having sex. I could never last more than 30 seconds. It really caused me to lose alot of confidence and caused me to avoid dating for quite some time.

The good news is 40% of all men suffer from Premature Ejaculation and that it can be cured with the right information. I’ve tried just about everything to cure my PE, creams,sprays and even pills. None worked and I thought i would NEVER solve this problem.

I got lucky and found a site that taught me how to control my ejaculatory reflex and now I can last for 10 minutes. It helped me lose my fear of women and now I am happily engaged to the love of my life 🙂 Below is a link to the site. Noone had PE more severe than me. It helped me so maybe it can help you to!!

curepremature-ejaculation.net
 
I think the best advice for this is that you go see a doctor. There are dangerous quick and easy solutions that are advertised on TV and the web that claim to be a solution to this problem. I feel that by worrying about certain solutions conflicting with your faith you may seek these out because they are ‘quick and easy’ as well as discrete. There was an article in my local paper recently investigating a ‘medical institute’ that offers drugs for this problem, and the complaints that have been filed against this company. The complaints are quite horrifying, with one of the worst cases was a young 18 year old man loosing the function of his penis for the rest of his life. Your best option is to go see your doctor, and hey, take your wife with you as she will no doubt be a big help. With the support of your wife, GP and God to tackle this problem, how can you lose? 😉
 
Cookies1,
I had the same problem until I discovered the Kegel exercises. They do not involve anything immoral, no use of your hands, does not cost anything and it worked great for me.
This site explains it better. It took a couple of months before I had results, but it really does work.
See: kegelexercisesformen.com/

Send me a PM if you have any questions,

God Bless,

C.
 
I can’t say that I expected to see something like this on here… but if you are willing to post this on a catholic site, you must be pretty upset - so I figured I’d write.

I actually don’t see what a priest could do in this case… I mean people can pray for you (and certainly a priest can) but most priests have never had sex, which is probably key in giving you advice.

Anyway, you have to control it mentally and physically. Relax! I know that it is probably difficult because you feel so much pressure, but just take a deep breath and relax. Relax your body, relax your mind. Tensing up is going to work against you. Think about something else. Do not think about anything sexual in the beginning. You have to get past the initial part of sex. Once you have been going for a little while, you are home free! But, the initial stimulation is hard to get past. So, think about baseball (or even something that would make you turned off - like work or something) and learn how to control your muscles - this will take trial and error. I really don’t want to explain what works for me in this category, but just try different things and you should figure it out.

I don’t see how that book would be worth it either… I mean, there isn’t so much to it that you could fill 100 pages!

I hope this helps!
 
Actually Popcak has some ideas in his book, “Holy Sex.” Basically masturbation is wrong, but there are things that a wife and husband can do to help buildup duration of intercourse that can be done during love-making. I would look there since he is a well respected moral theologian and has support of many other well respected moralists such as Janet Smith.
 
Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse says that you should “think about the pavement.”
 
Cookies1:

There are various grades of thickness of latex condoms that lessen stimulus, and here the use would be medical. You would need to time the removal in order to keep your commitment to the Law.

Andy
 
Mostly people have this problem in old age. You can also get rid from this problem by self care. Some times its can be due to anxiety and stress also so people need to keep mind fresh. I have got about a medicine at levitrabliss.com/ which is used for especially sexual health improvement. It’s Levitra. You can also try this.
 
AndyF said:
Cookies1:

There are various grades of thickness of latex condoms that lessen stimulus, and here the use would be medical. You would need to time the removal in order to keep your commitment to the Law.

Andy
Click to expand...
Be careful, this has not been approved by the church yet. It might be possible with a perforated one but you’d have to call up the diocese and get approval from a moral theologian . You could also ask at the National Catholic Bioethics Center.
 
I have researched this a bit - but do not have any personal insight to the effectiveness of any solutions. In general kegels tend to be recommended. I do not know how successful they are, but will say they are not stimulating so should be moral acceptable.

I did find a website discussing “the marriage bed”. All in all it is not a good site (somewhat hostile to Catholics and not inline with Catholic teaching), but it did have some suggestions for this issue that look interesting and should not be against church teaching (if done within the overall context of the marital act).
 
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