Catholic Husband and Evangelical Wife

[anon49823460]

Do anyone have a ‘good’ marriage in this situation? If so, could you pass on any advice? Thanks!

 

[anon49823460]

Over 20 ‘views’ and no answers… this is not very encouraging

 

[nobeerinheaven]

I was in the reverse situation: Protestant husband, and Catholic wife. I was the husband, and I converted.

How long have you been married?

 

[Sina]

Give posters a bit of time to respond I am Catholic and my husband is … nothing. He believes in God and does nothing about it but attends mass with me to support me and our family.

So far the marriage is good but we have only been married for a year and a half.

It CAN be problematic to be married to a non Catholic but it depends on what your spouse thinks of some of the contentious issues. What does she think about NFP? Will she raise your child Catholic? How long have you been married for?

There are a lot of threads that discuss this very topic, try doing some searches too while you wait for more posters to respond? Search under

mixed marriages

non catholic spouse

that kind of thing. Hope you get some good advice!

 

[GhostMan]

If you’re considering entering into a marriage like this - don’t. There is too much pain, suffering, sorrow and hurt for something really good to emerge.

Now, this is only true if both parties are devout in their faith. If one is luke-warm, or on name only, then you’ll be able to work things out.

If you find yourself in a marriage like this, as I have, then you have nothing left but to plead for the grace of Christ and the mercy of God the Father.

There is much in common between the two religions that you mentioned, but to the really devout the chasm is huge: Overwhelming, soul-crushingly vast, in my experience.

If you can avoid this, do it. If you can’t avoid it - endure it.

 

[Priscilla_Ann]

My husband was Evangelical; I was Catholic. My husband joined the Catholic church and we were married in the Catholic church. As a result of our faith journey together, we both left the Catholic church 10 years ago and returned to my husband’s Evangelical faith. We’ve been very happily married for 25 years, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

[anon49823460]

This is discouraging, looks like the GhostMan is right. I just think that this situation, Catholic Husband and Evangelical Wife is a unique situation and extremely difficult to deal with. The Evangelical Wife is taught that a husband should act a certain way and if he doesn’t she loses all respect for him and the marriage dissolves to just trying to survive.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

This is discouraging, looks like the GhostMan is right. I just think that this situation, Catholic Husband and Evangelical Wife is a unique situation and extremely difficult to deal with. The Evangelical Wife is taught that a husband should act a certain way and if he doesn’t she loses all respect for him and the marriage dissolves to just trying to survive.

This sounds like religion isn’t the issue here.

Also, Priscilla Ann - sorry to hear about your loss of the faith.

 

[anon49823460]

Maybe it isn’t the issue but I’d be curious to see if we can find one couple in this situation who’s marriage is working…

 

[mholoth]

Dh & I have been married for 18 years, I was the evangelical when we met, he was catholic. He converted…we married…had kids…searching…all of us became Lutheran…now we (kids and I) are converting to catholicism and dh is returning to the faith.

So not only has our marriage worked, it has been a path for me to come to the Church.

 

[BamaRider]

I also agree with the Ghostman.

I can’t imagine not being married to a Catholic girl. I think about all the things we have shared spiritually for the last 32 years and how that has helped us stay bonded and united. We live only a few blocks from our parish, so we walk to Mass holding hands when the weather is good, we have family traditions around the Christmas Eve Mass. We nurtured our son together in the Faith, and we even join together with the rest of the parish at spring cleaning time mopping and dusting.

Would our marriage work if mixed? Probably, but it would have been less, and that is what you should know. There is no one here that can argue a mixed is better then a 100% Catholic marriage.

 

[anon49823460]

I am happy for you Mholoth (and hubby) welcome!!!

Dh & I have been married for 18 years, I was the evangelical when we met, he was catholic. He converted…we married…had kids…searching…all of us became Lutheran…now we (kids and I) are converting to catholicism and dh is returning to the faith.

So not only has our marriage worked, it has been a path for me to come to the Church.

 

[anon49823460]

Sounds beautiful BamaRider!!! Cherish the gift that God has blessed you with

I also agree with the Ghostman.

I can’t imagine not being married to a Catholic girl. I think about all the things we have shared spiritually for the last 32 years and how that has helped us stay bonded and united. We live only a few blocks from our parish, so we walk to Mass holding hands when the weather is good, we have family traditions around the Christmas Eve Mass. We nurtured our son together in the Faith, and we even join together with the rest of the parish at spring cleaning time mopping and dusting.

Would our marriage work if mixed? Probably, but it would have been less, and that is what you should know. There is no one here that can argue a mixed is better then a 100% Catholic marriage.

 

[mholoth]

There is much in common between the two religions that you mentioned, but to the really devout the chasm is huge: Overwhelming, soul-crushingly vast, in my experience.

If you can avoid this, do it. If you can’t avoid it - endure it.

Speaking as the wife in a situation like this…please do not give up…I am begging you here.

Let me be the first to admit that I was in no way the the easiest to convince, I was staunch that my faith was the RIGHT one. I was the epitome of ‘devout’. I was indoctrinated, brainwashed from a very young age by family, their church and the school. But one of the very things that helped me see the light was just that-by the 4th grade I was memorizing chapters of the Bible to be recited orally-weekly, by 5th grade it was written and that was just for school. I was actually prohibited from participating in the Bible drills in jr high @ our church (because it ‘wasn’t fair to the other kids’) and was given special questions to answer. Albeit I was also given “what they really meant was” but I had the knowlege of the Word. And it greatly condradicted what they were teaching. Although it took 18 years for me to figure that out (well not really that long, I knew before that something was wrong and we became Lutheran about 10 years ago which was more right than the faith I was in anyway) I did figure it out by the grace of God.

Remember that in their faith that the Bible is also believed to be the inspired word of God, and NO (not even one itty bitty) part of the catholic faith goes against the Bible (even the abridged version the evangelicals use).

Keep in mind conversion is a journey. And as the catholic spouse in an unequally yoked marriage you have the biggest part in that for her. My dh was poorly catechised (now we are learning much together) and that made it very difficult for him to be able to hold his own in our theological debates. If you are devout, you have a leg up on us.

Please, please, please don’t give up.

I am happy for you Mholoth (and hubby) welcome!!!

Thank you, I am thrilled to be on this journey!!!
Dh lovingly jokes now “I told you so, I may not have known why but I did tell you so.”