Catholic husband and non-baptised wife

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Hi
I am the non-baptised wife with no religion. But I care my husband and his soul. I really appreciate your advice on the situation of my marriage.

Here is the brief background. My husband is an active practicing Catholic. We had our civil marriage for just a year. We are not married in the Church.

We have had challenging life from each side of our original family right since we got married.

Things get escalated. We are discussing for divorce now. We had very open talks. My husband told me that
  • he deeply cares me, but he doesn’t love me to the extend that he could marry me in front of God.
  • He couldn’t have intimacy with me.
  • he doesn’t feel the vocation to have children in his life.
  • He realised he prefers a religious marriage (but he refused to marry me in the Church when we were prepare for our wedding last year.)
  • It is deemed to be a sin to marry someone only in a civil setting.
Prior to our civil wedding, I went to see my parish priest to seek his opinion of civil marriage with a Catholic given I am not baptised. The priest didn’t mention it’s going to be a sin for the Catholic. The priest told me that we could get married in the Church after we got our civil marriage. (There is a process to follow that the priest is happy to guide us through.) The priest invited both of us for a talk with him prior to our wedding, but my husband refused to attend.

Since the discussion of divorce, I have been reading the Catechism Divorce. (I know the Church sees civil marriage as invalid.) I would like to understand wether the civil divorce is considered a sin for my husband in my case? I know I love him but it seems that divorce is the only way to give him peace.

Many thanks
 
Liu said:
I would like to understand wether the civil divorce is considered a sin for my husband in my case?
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I think the preference would be for you to convalidate, but as you are not validly married, divorce wouldn’t be a sin.
 
Ok well then I don’t understand where she says she cares about his soul in regards to what his faith defines that as.
 
redcatholic said:
Ok well then I don’t understand where she says she cares about his soul in regards to what his faith defines that as
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I assume she cares about it because he believes it. Even though she doesn’t believe it herself, she’s trying to understand the Catholic perspective. I mean, presumably she’s aware she could be baptized if she wanted to be.
 
Oh ok. I still don’t understand. But I didn’t know she felt that way.
 
My husband doesn’t want me to get baptised. He thinks it is a speculative behaviour for me to get married with him in church.
 
I believe in Christianity. But he doesn’t agree for me to get baptised. He doesn’t believe me. But it may be too late to talk about this. He informed me that he doesn’t love enough to be married with me in front of God and he doesn’t have the vocation for a family.
 
Thank you. I appreciate this confirmation. I talked to my local priest who explained to me the view of divorce of the Church, but he didn’t give me a precise answer or I couldn’t understand his message.
 
Hi RolandThompsonGunner
I think you might be right. I say I believe in Christianity, but I haven’t studied the Bible and was not born as a cultural Christian.
 
Thank you. I appreciate this confirmation. I talked to my local priest who explained to me the view of divorce of the Church, but he didn’t give me a precise answer or I couldn’t understand his message.

I thought we would be married in Church a year or 2 years after our civil marriage as the priest told me that it will take about 6 months for him to prepare me to be baptised and become Catholic and I went to see the priest only 3 months before our wedding. (Which I think I should be done the visit earlier when I look back in time.)
 
Liu said:
I believe in Christianity. But he doesn’t agree for me to get baptised. He doesn’t believe me. But it may be too late to talk about this. He informed me that he doesn’t love enough to be married with me in front of God and he doesn’t have the vocation for a family.
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Ok…apologies to @redcatholic, I misunderstood you. I’m still quite confused though.
 
I am so sorry of your sad situation.

You are willing to get married and seems to believe, but your don’t believe youafter enter deliberately in a civil marriage only, now want to divorce and no children…
 
Liu said:
Thank you. I appreciate this confirmation. I talked to my local priest who explained to me the view of divorce of the Church, but he didn’t give me a precise answer or I couldn’t understand his message.
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To explain it, a valid marriage is indossulible, even then divorce may be permissable to ensure financial protection or for similar reasons, however the spouses would not be free to seek new relationships. Since you are not validly married that isn’t even a concern. You may need to do some extra paperwork after the divorce, but it would just be red tape.

In fact, since I assume you are engaging in acts proper to married couples, that is sinful for you.

I’m sorry that he doesn’t love you, but glad that you will be free to find someone who does.
 
Thank you. May I know where the story confuses you please? The reason I am asking this question is that I feel there is something in the relationship that I don’t quite understand, but I don’t know what it is. We have been together for 5 years prior to our marriage.

(I will agree to divorce and wish him all the best for the future. But being honest to myself, the divorce is going to be a grief that will take me some time to digest. )
 
Thank you. I am unsure if he did it deliberately. He may be unaware of the marriage procedure.
 
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