Catholic in a Pentecostal church

[hoodrat]

One question that bugs me:
Does your husband not care that you are being targeted by the pastor in this unpleasant way??

this got a bit long… just wanna let you know that these unpleasant things take place everywhere and you are not alone…
:hug1:

To answer your question, yes, he does care, and whenever a comment or criticism against Catholics, he’ll cringe and look over at me as if to apologize for his pastor – cringes either because he feels as offended as I do, or he cringes 'cause he knows the ranting I’ll do after service lol

But my husband has never forced me to go, and he frequently tells me that if I don’t want to go, then stay home. I go because on many occasions, the sunday school topic, or sermon, is really… what’s the word… wrong? And I can’t stand knowing that if I’m at home, my husband might hear something erroneous and not know it. He also doesn’t stop me from going to Mass, but our finances have been so tight the past two years that going to Mass means driving to a different city, and with gas prices going up the ying yang, it’s financially hard. I know – excuses excuses.

Don’t get me wrong, the pastor is a good man. It’s just when it comes to Catholics he has so much anger. The pastor, as well as half the congregation, are former Catholics, and he uses his experiences as a Catholic to speak “from the know” supposedly.

Anyhow, thanks for your comment, and no, it wasn’t long at all. It really is good to hear I’m not alone.

 

[LilyM]

To answer your question, yes, he does care, and whenever a comment or criticism against Catholics, he’ll cringe and look over at me as if to apologize for his pastor – cringes either because he feels as offended as I do, or he cringes 'cause he knows the ranting I’ll do after service lol

But my husband has never forced me to go, and he frequently tells me that if I don’t want to go, then stay home. I go because on many occasions, the sunday school topic, or sermon, is really… what’s the word… wrong? And I can’t stand knowing that if I’m at home, my husband might hear something erroneous and not know it. He also doesn’t stop me from going to Mass, but our finances have been so tight the past two years that going to Mass means driving to a different city, and with gas prices going up the ying yang, it’s financially hard. I know – excuses excuses.

Don’t get me wrong, the pastor is a good man. It’s just when it comes to Catholics he has so much anger. The pastor, as well as half the congregation, are former Catholics, and he uses his experiences as a Catholic to speak “from the know” supposedly.

Anyhow, thanks for your comment, and no, it wasn’t long at all. It really is good to hear I’m not alone.

Please don’t take this in a bad way, it’s not meant as such, but if you set a good Catholic example to everyone by attending your church in preference to your husband’s, and making sure the kids go with you, that, combined with prayer for them, will do far more to convince people than any amount of theological argument. There are ways to do it - ask the pastor if he can help find a parishioner who lives in your neighbourhood who’d be willing to give you a lift there and back.

I can practically hear your husband and his church buddies thinking ‘if her church is so wonderful, why isn’t she there and why is she here instead?’ - show them it’s wonderful by showing them that you’re sticking to it unreservedly.

 

[mizznicole]

I’m just writing to say I feel for you. I was raised Catholic but never was taught the true faith. I joined a charismatic church in college. The people were beautiful and very alive in faith. But after a while, I couldn’t take the P&W and the inconsistency in sermons. At the same time the Holy Spirit was pulling my heart back to the Church. All that to say is that I know how it is to be in a similar environment. There’s so much anti-Catholicism that just comes out of ignorance, and probably a rebellion against what is true, but they can’t bring themselves to accept.

One thought–I think your husband will be turned toward the truth of the Church by your joyful practice of the faith, more than your neglect of it. God is big enough to handle whatever errors he might be exposed to. I’ve had many friends revert/convert to Catholicism over the last few years from the charismatic movement. They’ve grown up with various strains of anti-Catholicism, but are still moved by the Church’s beauty.

On a side note, one of the best things about being Catholic is not having to get all worked up during a worship service. I’m not saying that people who do are not genuine. For me personally, it got exhausting, and I don’t think I was really that close to God when I was raising my hands and shouting and what-not. Conversion is so much deeper. Maybe because I was, however faulty, born in the Church I couldn’t thrive in those waters.

Be bold, my friend in Christ. I’m pretty chicken myself, but will pray for both of us to be ready to give an account at all times, with kindness and reverence.

 

[Altesse]

For reasons I can’t really go into, I currently go to a Pentecostal church since my husband’s entire life is invested in it – his father and uncles are pastors and my husband also in the worship team. Most of the time I silently say my rosary, or just zone off since most times, the service isn’t in English.

We rarely go to mass because of church/familiar obligations, but my husband is totally open to attending mass. Converting, though, that’s an entirely different story. Slowly but surely I’m working my way to that goal.

Okay, so that was the background story.

Here’s my question that I need answered, or at least opinions.

Every once in a while, the pastor will say during service: “I see some people aren’t moving, some people don’t know how to worship.** If you are standing still then you don’t love the Lord**.”

Not true!

Of course, being raised with the TLM I’m just not comfortable doing all that hoohah and so **I end up sitting down because the pastor’s comments are directed at ME since I really am the only one not moving. **

EXTREMELY inappropriate for a pastor to do that.

This is just one issue among many others that I deal with, nevermind the constant comments and jokes about being Catholic, so I thought I’ll first get opinions on this small issue first.

See above, NO ONE should make comments or joke about you being Catholic.

Those very issues are why I am NOT Pentecostal anymore and converted to Catholicism.

Should I just clap and do all the song actions so everyone can just shut up about me, but if I do, I’d be doing all that for THEM and not for God.

What to do what to do.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

You don’t necessarily have to keep taking all the jokes aimed at you. Show them you are serious about your Catholic faith by going to mass regularly, alone if necessary. I** personally would not attend a church where the pastor felt it necessary to call me out, **but I am just that way and maybe you’re more patient and understanding, especially since your husband is so involved. Perhaps you can broach this subject with him, using that angle?

**Ditto. Furthermore, Why isn’t YOUR HUSBAND defending you?

Shame on him **for allowing others in the church (especially the pastor who you say is a relative) to speak that way about or to you.

If you do keep going to his church, do not participate unless you truly feel lead. If you’re not feeling what they do, then you definitely shouldn’t fake it.

It is ok to participate in the worship and prayers, but don’t fake it if you don’t feel it.

All denominations (including Catholicism) have individuals and congregations that damage the reputation of Christ by their hurtful actions. Why would anyone want to be Christian if they are treated that way? How many fall away or are never converted?
How many souls are in hell because of how Christ or Christianity has been demonstrated?

Your husband should be going to Mass with you equally. If it is so important that you be at the Pentecostal church with him, it is equally important that he go to Mass with you.

If you or your faith are insulted, stop going with him.

Your husband needs to rethink his loyalties. I am not saying that he should not love the Lord with all his heart. But a husband MUST support and defend his wife when others attack her.

He says that he is willing to go to Mass but church and “familial” obligations prevent it. (How convenient )

You need to get counseling with your husband. But go to a counselor who is not affiliated with either “side”, so there will be an objective perspective.

The issue is not just “religion”. It is the basic care and respect between spouses.

Good Luck.

 

[emuckel]

First, I would like to say that I admire you for taking your vocation, matrimony, seriously! I myself am married to a Pentecostal, whose Father, Uncles, Cousins, etc are all Pentecostal Pastors. I myself was also a Pentecostal Minister before my conversion to Catholicism. I think its important to recognize that we are dealing with “separated brethren” and not unbelievers here, so our calling is to our marriage as we are one flesh before God. We are called to love our spouses and submit to them with love, so again, I admire your commitment to your marriage. Second, I think the way you have been treated was unacceptable. So I would recommend setting up a meeting together with your husband and his Pastor to share how these comments make you feel. I would request for him to publicly ask the congregation to respect your faith as you respect theirs, and cease making negative comments. If he is not willing to do this, you may have to cease attending. Hopefully your husband would support you in this. I personally attend Catholic Mass either on a Saturday or early Sunday morning, then attend Pentecostal Worship with my wife. My children attend both. As husband and wife I think its fair to sit down and make a plan that’s honoring to your marriage and to your faith, but as others have said (in a little harsher tone than I would use ) it is essential for you to attend Mass and partake of the sacraments. It’s not only our obligation, but it is also our source of strength and grace. The sacraments make me a better husband and give me the grace to keep a strong marriage even though we are different faith traditions. Hopefully, you have a good Priest who can help you with this as well. My wife and I have worked this out and we have an awesome marriage where we both honor each others faith, and even have had the opportunity to bring members of both churches together to do projects that we both agree on like feeding the poor. I also have been lucky enough to have a strong Catholic Charismatic Community in my area. When my wife attended Charismatic Mass with me she felt very much at home. In fact, it has gone a long way in bringing her closer to the church. Bottom line, we can make it through these things by walking in the love of Christ. Demanding, insulting, and disrespecting each others churches will do nothing but lead to further division. You will be in my prayers! PS I would also recommend sharing a book by Scott Hahn with him called “Rome Sweet Home.” Scott is a former Presbyterian Minister, who also has strong ties to the Charismatic community. “The Journey Home” archives on the internet at the CHNetwork webpage also has conversion stories of former Pentecostal Pastors that your husband may enjoy. They also have great resources for you.

 

[UbiCaritas]

This thread is five years old.

 

[emuckel]

Wow, thats quite a large font Thanks for letting me know… I noticed this before I posted, but since I was in a very similar situation that lasted well over five years, I figured I would share my thoughts nevertheless Hopefully, everything worked out… Thanks again.

Blessings!

Eric

 

[fred_conty]

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