Catholic Man Married to a Muslim Woman

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Issues:
  1. Her religion forbids her from marrying a non-Muslim. Her marriage is not recognized. Basically her religion says she is being sinful. If I go to her as a husband goes to a wife, am I being responsible for her sinning?
  2. After the children God has sent us, she now wants to use contraception. Her religion does not forbid it. Can I go to her as a husband goes to a wife without sinning?
 
  1. Her religion forbids her from marrying a non-Muslim. Her marriage is not recognized. Basically her religion says she is being sinful. If I go to her as a husband goes to a wife, am I being responsible for her sinning?
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You are a Catholic and as a Catholic you do not believe in the teachings of Muhammad. If you were married in the Catholic Church, you are committing no sin. You are not bound by the teachings of Islam, and you never sin by going against the conventions of Islam. As Catholics, we believe Islam is false. Our faith is the religion that is most pleasing to the one God. Only the Catholic Church has the fullness of truth and saving doctrine. The Church teaches that the marital act is a beautiful gift from God that is to be shared by those who are united by the bonds of sacramental marriage. Don’t concern yourself if Islam falsely claims that you are sinful by doing what was commanded by God. Islam also claims that Christ was never crucified. You don’t believe this, so why should you believe anything else they say?
  1. After the children God has sent us, she now wants to use contraception. Her religion does not forbid it. Can I go to her as a husband goes to a wife without sinning?
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Using Artificial Contraception is wrong and is sinful. Read Humane Vitae for an understanding of this issue:

vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

This Encyclical will spell out the teachings of the Catholic Church on this issue.

Also, you should be aware that the Church does allow the use of Natural Family Planning as a method of spacing and regulating births. This method of preventing pregnancy is 99% effective and does not involve the use of any chemicals or physical objects. The Church approves of this form of birth control because it always remains open to the possibility of human life. You do not have to use Artificial Contraception because Natural Family Planning is just as effective and does not cause you to sin.

By using artificial contraception, you are sinning. If your wife uses artificial contraception and you sleep with her, you are participating in her sin. You participate in her sin by counsel, consent, and participation.
 
I don’t know about you being responsible for her sinning. If you were married through the Church then your marriage is a sacrament & far from being sinful in God’s eyes! So obviously it is not a sin objectively, to have marital relations.

The only thing I would say is that in the Bible there are certain passages about respecting the consciences of others - I can’t remember exactly how it goes, but something like that although God permits us to eat any food, if someone feels that it’s a sin to eat such-and-such, then we should respect their conscience and not encourage them to do that. But in the case of your wife… I don’t know. Islam may teach it is wrong but she chose to marry you so perhaps she has found a way to be happy with it? Has she told you she feels bad & like she’s sinning? If she doesn’t have a problem with it then I wouldn’t make it into an issue in any way & I wouldn’t say she was sinning either.

As far as contraception goes, as sad as it is, there’s not much you can do if she personally chooses to contracept in the form of the pill or something. Obviously you could not personally choose to contracept yourself by wearing a condom or something but you are not sinning by the fact that she chooses to contracept - you can still have marital relations, don’t worry. But do try & lovingly speak to her about NFP maybe. Even some secular couples see what’s good about NFP and use it so rather than dwelling on the Church saying contraception is wrong why not talk about how good NFP could be to your marriage & how much more respectful it is to her own female body in the way it works - rather than disrupting her natural fertility with a drug or some kind of device.

Hope this is helpful in some way, just my personal thoughts that came to mind!🙂
 
Dempsey1919 said:
By using artificial contraception, you are sinning.*** If your wife uses artificial contraception and you sleep with her, you are participating in her sin. You participate in her sin by counsel, consent, and participation***. I added the emphasis.
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This is highly inaccurate, and why people should ask their priest or Ask An Apologist on such delicate matters. You should also note Cahtolic Answers has a hotline for such questions should you not be able to wait for an answer in Ask An Apologist.

You are not responsible for her contraception, fms. The only thing you are required to do is gently and lovingly voice your objections and state why you object, and continue to do so every few months, praying for her and the marriage. In such cases the Church **DOES **allow you to have maritial relations with your wife. Here is the information.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=104551

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=135215

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=76765&highlight=contraception+wife

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=70098&highlight=contraception+wife

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=55873&highlight=contraception+wife

vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_12021997_vademecum_en.html
 
fms said:
Issues:
  1. Her religion forbids her from marrying a non-Muslim. Her marriage is not recognized. Basically her religion says she is being sinful. If I go to her as a husband goes to a wife, am I being responsible for her sinning?
    Are you Catholic? Were you married in the church with the proper dispensations? If you are then you should realize that you are the spiritual leader of your house. You would not be responsible for her sinning but if she becomes truly convicted that you and she cannot engage in marital relations then you should respect her decision. You should also go to counseling on this both marital and spiritual.
  2. After the children God has sent us, she now wants to use contraception. Her religion does not forbid it. Can I go to her as a husband goes to a wife without sinning?
    You , if you are a Catholic cannot use artificial contraception. You should ask her to take NFP classes with you or study the materials together. You should be working together as a couple on your family planning anyway. You should be praying for God’s discernment for the size of your family. If she chooses to use contraception your responsibility is to teach her why it is wrong, not actively participate in it and let her know that you disagree with it periodically and why. This does not mean you get angry with her every time she asks you to render the marital debt and go into lecture mode.
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This is highly inaccurate, and why people should ask their priest or Ask An Apologist on such delicate matters.
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Here is what I wrote:

By using artificial contraception, you are sinning. If your wife uses artificial contraception and you sleep with her, you are participating in her sin. You participate in her sin by counsel, consent, and participation.

The underlined part of the quote: He is personally sinning if he uses a condom or another form of contraception.

The part of the quote in italics: He is not responsible or culpable if his wife uses contraception as long as he makes it clear that he does not want to use contraception. He should do his best to educate his wife on the reasons for this. He should do all he can to encourage his wife to stop using contraception.

I never said he was sinning by sleeping with his wife. I stated that he was participating in her sin if he sleeps with her while she uses contraception while witholding information from her. I admit that I should have been more clearer on this. The OP must voice his objections to his wife’s use of contraception. He must give his reasons and do all he can to get her to change her mind on this issue. Failure to do so will result in his participation in her sin.

Here are the Nine Ways We Participate In Other’s Sins:


  1. *]By counsel
    *]By command
    *]By consent
    *]By provocation
    *]By praise or flattery
    *]By concealment
    *]By partaking
    *]By silence
    *]By defense of the ill done

    If the OP does not object to the use of contraception, and fails to explain his reasons, then he is participating in the sin of his wife.

    Please forgive me for not explaining myself correctly. I am sorry if I have mislead you in any way. In the future, I will make sure to pick my words more carefully.
 
I accept your apology, but you did indeed say if he had relations with her while she contracepted, he was sinning. This is not so. I presented the proof.
Dempsey1919 said:
By using artificial contraception, you are sinning. If your wife uses artificial contraception and you sleep with her, you are participating in her sin. You participate in her sin by counsel, consent, and participation.
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Thank you all for you prayers and answers.

To answer some of your questions: Married in Church with proper dispensations.

To clarify: disparity of cult marriages are not sacramental (only between two baptized persons).

Asking a question: how does one ask an apologist directly?

Continue to pray for me and my family and the gift of faith for my wife.
 
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