Yes:Tis_Bearself:
Is this right Bear? I know there is teaching about the full graces of marriage being dependent on consummation and that non0consummation can be a ground for annulment, but is capability required prior to marriage?
True. But often disinterest in sex actually does signify some issue. And the fact is, that whatever age you marry at, you need to be open to the possibility that your spouse will actually desire sex at some point, and you must be willing to entertain that idea. Also, even if they aren’t bothered about sex, they may want to “touch or be touched” in a non sexual manner. Not all physical affection is sexual and even older couples might want the comfort of holding each other or being close to each other.
Yes it is correct. Impotence is an impediment to valid marriage.
I get that. I’m also of ‘a certain age’ and would be happy to never have sex again in my life if I could get away with it. My view is though that inviting a male into your life at our age can have a lot more problems than the sex issue. I know a few women who’ve lost their husbands and have moved into retirement communities to resolve the safety and security issue and to also have companionship. That’s my plan if my husband is ever …not there.
I apologize if I made you feel judged. It’s not wrong to have no interest in sex. It is definitely a minority position, and I don’t think it would be a waste of time to at least explore the possibility that something may be inhibiting your sex drive, whether that’s a medical issue, the lack of a meaningful connection (sex might be more appealing in the context of a man you love than in the abstract), etc.
To the extent you’re willing to share, can you explain why? Not an attack or a criticism, just genuinely curious. Was sex appealing at one time and now it no longer is? Does the idea just seem boring? Physically uncomfortable?
A clinical psychologist told me once that a woman may be seeking a father not a husband, in marriage. (Of course that means non-sexual.)
As PaulinVA says, it’s not that uncommon with the depletion of hormones for a woman to lose interest in sex. Yes, I think I had a normal drive before menopause but now I’d describe my existence as a peaceful ocean. No intense needs of any sort. It’s unexpectedly freeing to be able to give of myself to my family and others in my life without needing anything back.Motherwit:
To the extent you’re willing to share, can you explain why? Not an attack or a criticism, just genuinely curious. Was sex appealing at one time and now it no longer is? Does the idea just seem boring? Physically uncomfortable?
I’m not trying to be nosy and totally understand if it’s too personal to share. I just have a hard time imagining never wanting to have sex again. I can understand saying “sex isn’t as big a deal for me as it used to be” but I have a hard time wrapping my head around “never ever”, at least for a married person for whom it’s a realistic possibility.
Not having testosterone rampaging through my veins is also freeing.
Why does this bother you so much? There are most likely far more women that feel this way than you think. I’ve been single a very long time and am in my late 50s. Though while the idea of having a husband as a companion, a friend, a partner but while not repulsed at the thought of being sexual, I could be fine if it didn’t happen.
Who says I’m bothered? I’m getting a little annoyed at the tone, frankly. I’ve been very clear that I was not claiming there was anything “wrong” with the OP. I explicitly said so in the very post you quoted.