Catholic Marriage Without Waiting Period

[maryjk]

.so you’ll be married within 4 months of your first post not 6,i guess you showed us who the idiots are

Actually, he hasn’t said when the wedding will be.

Just that he has found a priest that is “on board.”

 

[HelenRose]

Gracias for the words ValPal. I agree that raising children MUST be addressed early (and definitely before marriage). My last serious relationship was incredibly wonderful, but crashed in flames over the children issue; she was Jewish. So, rest assured that I did not repeat that mistake and squared that away immediately!

As to the previous post, I wasn’t looking to fight with anyone! Everyone is very supportive of our relationship. To the extent I was “fighting” with anyone or anything, it was a waiting period to marry. I came here simply hoping to tap into a vast knowledge base to help in the “fight.” Thankfully, I found the answer in a priest who is taking great care of us.

What did you think people would say? Most of us have been around a lot and have seen the effects of hasty marriages. Some work well but many do not. You are “in love” that is wonderful. I hope that this love will become the love of a long and happy marriage. The love of a long and happy marriage is not exactly the same as “in love”. I hope you and your loved one will grow together in your understanding of love. And when your children “Fall in Love” then you might understand why we offer the advise to wait.

 

[ThatGuy64]

What did you think people would say? Most of us have been around a lot and have seen the effects of hasty marriages. Some work well but many do not. You are “in love” that is wonderful. I hope that this love will become the love of a long and happy marriage. The love of a long and happy marriage is not exactly the same as “in love”. I hope you and your loved one will grow together in your understanding of love. And when your children “Fall in Love” then you might understand why we offer the advise to wait.

Thanks, Helen! I’m more than happy to hear advice about waiting, especially when presented in a respectful manner like this message. Thanks again.

To answer the earlier question about when the day is, we know the date, but only she and I do. It’s going to be me, her, and the Priest, and we’re keeping it hush hush, even to anonymous message board members.

 

[TrueLight]

Thanks, Helen! I’m more than happy to hear advice about waiting, especially when presented in a respectful manner like this message. Thanks again.

To answer the earlier question about when the day is, we know the date, but only she and I do. It’s going to be me, her, and the Priest, and we’re keeping it hush hush, even to anonymous message board members.

I can’t imagine why someone can’t wait 6 months to get married unless one is struggling with lust. Even so, one shouldn’t get married just to be able to have sex.

I don’t mean to make any assumptions. I’m just putting it out there.

Since you are going to get married anyway, and found a priest who agrees with you, all we can say is good luck and God bless.

 

[maryjk]

To answer the earlier question about when the day is, we know the date, but only she and I do. It’s going to be me, her, and the Priest, and we’re keeping it hush hush, even to anonymous message board members.

My point was, since we have no idea when the wedding is scheduled, it could very well be in a month or two. That timing would match nicely with what we told you in the beginning.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Well, in case anyone cares, here an update. I reached out to a priest about getting married, and he was completely on board; didn’t bat an eyelash. He was absolutely supportive–told the story of how his father began proposing to his mother on the second date.

I know my initial post may have come off as flippant, but I didn’t mean it at all like that. To the extent any of you were offended by that, I sincerely apologize.

Having said that, I’m terribly saddened by my experience on this forum. I was ridiculed, insulted, implicitly called an idiot, and a host of other not nice things. I’m over it, but I also have thicker skin than most people. I hope that in the future we can all engage in some introspection to make sure we are being welcoming.

Lastly, while this supposedly makes me an idiot and guarantees I’ll be divorced in 6 months, we’re getting married in less than three weeks. I’m so happy the God led me to a parish with such an incredible priest who just completely understands and supports. I’ll have a table set aside for the naysayers at our 50th Anniversary, and I look forward to toasting our collective good health and good lives then. Until then, truly, I hope all of you live blessed lives.

You are saddened? Do you not realize how you came across? I will NOT wait 6 months to get married! What would you think if someone who was converting said “I WILL NOT wait 6 months to receive the Eucharist!” “It’s just a rule” ?? I WANT TO RECEIVE IT NOW!

That is kind of how you came across. While I wish you all the best…the odds are not with you. Now, while there are exceptions…are you the exception or the rule? Generally those that will not wait and don’t want to go through a period of marriage prep…don’t find out until later what the problems are…by then you are married. And it may go well for awhile…but what happens when you have to wait for something…or you don’t get your way?

I thought we were fast…we got engaged in four months of meeting each other…and a whole year later we were married…and next year will be 25 years. But we also did go through marriage prep…and believe me there are difficulties along the way that you can’t even imagine…some from each other and others the world throws at you.

Having said that…since you are determined…I pray that you are the exception…

 

[Phemie]

To answer the earlier question about when the day is, we know the date, but only she and I do. It’s going to be me, her, and the Priest, and we’re keeping it hush hush, even to anonymous message board members.

Hope you plan on two more people since you need two witnesses.

 

[LilyM]

Well, in case anyone cares, here an update. I reached out to a priest about getting married, and he was completely on board; didn’t bat an eyelash. He was absolutely supportive–told the story of how his father began proposing to his mother on the second date.

I know my initial post may have come off as flippant, but I didn’t mean it at all like that. To the extent any of you were offended by that, I sincerely apologize.

Having said that, I’m terribly saddened by my experience on this forum. I was ridiculed, insulted, implicitly called an idiot, and a host of other not nice things. I’m over it, but I also have thicker skin than most people. I hope that in the future we can all engage in some introspection to make sure we are being welcoming.

Lastly, while this supposedly makes me an idiot and guarantees I’ll be divorced in 6 months, we’re getting married in less than three weeks. I’m so happy the God led me to a parish with such an incredible priest who just completely understands and supports. I’ll have a table set aside for the naysayers at our 50th Anniversary, and I look forward to toasting our collective good health and good lives then. Until then, truly, I hope all of you live blessed lives.

‘In case anyone cares’? People - all of them - made the comments they did precisely because they care. About you, your marriage, your future, your soul. They may not have been tactful or approving enough for your liking but they still care. So to say that is very uncalled for.

I’ve seen quite a number of highly successful and long lasting marriages among my family. One common feature in all of them is a high degree of patience. Another is a highly developed ability to not take it personally when others don’t express themselves as charitably as they might.

Neither of these traits exactly shines through in your posts, in fact quite the opposite. And I think that lack of patience and even temperedness is what people are noticing and concerned about as much as the shortness of your engagement per se.

One thing I can guarantee is that in 50 years’ time you are not going to care that you were married after 4 months as opposed to 6… In 50 years’ time, however, you might well be regretting that you rushed into it.

How you start a marriage sets the tone of things, so I hope and pray that you learn a whole lot of long suffering and patience and humility in the next three weeks. Not impossible but necessary, and you’ve got to want it.

 

[april32010]

‘In case anyone cares’? People - all of them - made the comments they did precisely because they care. About you, your marriage, your future, your soul. They may not have been tactful or approving enough for your liking but they still care. So to say that is very uncalled for.

I’ve seen quite a number of highly successful and long lasting marriages among my family. One common feature in all of them is a high degree of patience. Another is a highly developed ability to not take it personally when others don’t express themselves as charitably as they might.

Neither of these traits exactly shines through in your posts, in fact quite the opposite. And I think that lack of patience and even temperedness is what people are noticing and concerned about as much as the shortness of your engagement per se.

One thing I can guarantee is that in 50 years’ time you are not going to care that you were married after 4 months as opposed to 6… In 50 years’ time, however, you might well be regretting that you rushed into it.

How you start a marriage sets the tone of things, so I hope and pray that you learn a whole lot of long suffering and patience and humility in the next three weeks. Not impossible but necessary, and you’ve got to want it.

:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::tiphat:

 

[Joe_5859]

I know my initial post may have come off as flippant, but I didn’t mean it at all like that. To the extent any of you were offended by that, I sincerely apologize.

Having said that, I’m terribly saddened by my experience on this forum. I was ridiculed, insulted, implicitly called an idiot, and a host of other not nice things.

I would encourage you to reflect on this juxtaposition. If you believe your own post may have come across as flippant in a way you did not intend, it would only be fair to extend the same courtesy to those posters that you interpreted as insulting. I don’t think anyone was ridiculing you or insulting you. They were just expressing concern. Extending the benefit of the doubt goes both ways.

I’m glad that you talked things through with your priest. That’s fundamentally what everyone was suggesting that you do. He is in a better position to make those judgment calls as they pertain to your individual situation. All we can do is tell you what the norms are.