Catholic Marriage

[Matthew_Holford]

Does anyone know a good, reputable website where I could find information out about the Church’s rules, etc. concerning marriage? Ours was straightforward. Neither my wife nor I had been previously married, we were both church-going Catholics (both Latin), and we got married in my wife’s parish. So we didn’t need to get any permission or dispensations, etc. so I don’t really know what a lot of the rules are. I know it’s quite a complex area - a significant portion of the Code of Canon Law is devoted to the topic.

 

[Just_Lurking]

For the U.S., we have this and this.

 

[tee_eff_em]

Do you have some specific question? *Tell me everything about marriage *is kind of a tall order.

tee

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Do you have some specific question? *Tell me everything about marriage *is kind of a tall order.

tee

That’s why I asked for recommendations of websites. Then if I have a question I can look at that website, rather than post a lot of questions in the forum and avoiding the question:

Tell me everything about marriage

Thanks

Matthew

 

[Matthew_Holford]

For the U.S., we have this and this.

Thanks! The second website looks useful. I note you say “for the US” but I would imagine most of the “rules” are universal.

 

[Just_Lurking]

Thanks! The second website looks useful. I note you say “for the US” but I would imagine most of the “rules” are universal.

Pretty much universal–there are only a few places in canon law where the national conference of bishops can customize or adapt the rules. For example:

Can. 1083 §1. A man before he has completed his sixteenth year of age and a woman before she has completed her fourteenth year of age cannot enter into a valid marriage.

§2. The conference of bishops is free to establish a higher age for the licit celebration of marriage.

 

[dreamingformore]

I think the best thing is to talk to your priest at this point. It sounds like you meet most of the basic requirements, and then parishes have specfic rules to marry there- as I understand while planning my wedding.

 

[havemercyonus]

Dear Matthew and your new bride,
We’re not sure about websites but if you want to get a truly wonderful book on marriage, we recommend, ‘Marriage,the mystery of faith ful love’ by Dietrich Von Hildebrand, one of our favorite authors. This book is published through Sophia Institute Press and the book # is, ISBN 0-918477-00-X. This book has been republished several times and takes you through the true Catholic rules of what marriage and love are supposed to look like. It also includes the love aspect along with explaining the mystery of a sacramental love-something many people take for granted. There are 84 pages and so it is an easy read and the publishing company, Sophia Press can also send you a free catalogue of their other religious books by calling, 1-800-888-9344 located in Manchester, NH.
Hope this helps you and many blessings on your marriage,
Bill and Fran

 

[Matthew_Holford]

I think my OP may have caused some confusion. A few have assumed that I’m about to get married or have recently got married. We’ve been married 21 years this year. What I meant by the things in my OP probably need explaining.

I said neither of us had been previously married because I know that when a tribunal declares a marriage null and void they can prevent you from entering a new marriage or put conditions on a new marriage.

I said the other things because we’re both Catholics we didn’t need permission to do anything or to get dispensation. Because we were both church goers (still are) there were no awkward questions to answer about why do you want a church wedding when you don’t come to church.

We got married in my wife’s proper parish.

So when it came to the paperwork side of things everything was straightforward. There were no issues over previous marriages. There were no issues as there might have been if I was going to marry an Anglican or Jew or a non-believer. We weren’t asking to marry in a parish neither of us belonged to. We weren’t asking if we could marry in a non-Catholic place of worship.

Thus we didn’t encounter any of the rules really because I suppose we were with out knowing it sticking to the rules.

I have recently been thinking about all the “rules” the Church has around marriage. I know they’re plentiful and complex. I didn’t want to post a myriad of questions on here. I wanted a website that members of this forum could recommend. One that was faithful to the Church’s laws and teachings and wasn’t just some person’s or group’s opinions.

Plus, I do want to try to work out if someone I know is validly married. I know it’s not for me to decide - the decision would be made in a diocesan tribunal and have to be reviewed by the appeal tribunal. One might call it an academic exercise. They do not know I’ve been pondering this. I have NO intention of telling them either!

 

[1ke]

Does anyone know a good, reputable website where I could find information out about the Church’s rules, etc. concerning marriage?

Depends upon what you mean by “the rules.” Canon law is the place to find the universal law of the Church regarding the Sacrament of Marriage. Canon law specifies impediments to a valid marriage and requirements for a valid marriage in the case of two Catholics or a Catholic and a non-Catholic.

However, Canon Law does not specify every detail. That is left to the pastoral discretion of the Bishop. So, for example, canon 1136 says;

Can. 1063 Pastors of souls are obliged to take care that their ecclesiastical community offers the Christian faithful the assistance by which the matrimonial state is preserved in a Christian spirit and advances in perfection. This assistance must be offered especially by:

1/ preaching, catechesis adapted to minors, youth, and adults, and even the use of instruments of social communication, by which the Christian faithful are instructed about the meaning of Christian marriage and about the function of Christian spouses and parents;

2/ personal preparation to enter marriage, which disposes the spouses to the holiness and duties of their new state;

3/ **a fruitful liturgical celebration of marriage **which is to show that the spouses signify and share in the mystery of the unity and fruitful love between Christ and the Church;

4/** help offered to those who are married**, so that faithfully preserving and protecting the conjugal covenant, they daily come to lead holier and fuller lives in their family.

Nowhere in canon law does it state what the preparation is to be, what a “fruitful liturgical celebration” is, or what help is to be available for the already married.

These details are for the Bishop and his priests to decide upon and implement. Therefore, marriage preparation varies considerably from diocese to diocese and even from parish to parish within a diocese. Some have diocesan-created retreats, some use Engaged Encounter, some use a sponsor couple program, some just have meetings with a deacon or priest. Some require NFP classes, some don’t. Some require 6 months, some require 12. Some require couples to take the FOCCUS assessment, some don’t. That’s all legitimate variation.

Regarding litugry, that’s usually specific to the priest marrying the couple. Some allow strapless wedding gowns, some don’t. Some have very strict rules regarding music (which they all should be in line with GIRM requirements, but some aren’t), or the parish has rules about times of weddings, flower placements, photography, what readings or options are available etc. All legitimate variations within the guidelines of canon law.

So, again, it depends upon what you mean by ‘the rules.’

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Depends upon what you mean by “the rules.”

Fair point. I suppose that by the “rules” I basically meant the Code of Canon Law. There are, of course, other “rules”. In my diocese you have to give the priest a minimum of six months notice of your intention to marry. Now I believe that’s a particular law laid down by our diocesan bishop. Which would mean that no website could give me all the “rules”.

I suppose another requirement I was looking for was a website that explained the “rules”, i.e. Canon Law, in simple terms. The Code of Canon Law is quite technical and not easy for a ‘layman’ to understand.