Catholic married to protestant

[alapete]

What if a male catholic is married to a female protestant and the female protestant will not have sexual intercourse with the male catholic unless he wears a condom. Has the male catholic committed a mortal sin by wearing a condom during intercourse ?

 

[adolfo123]

What if a male catholic is married to a female protestant and the female protestant will not have sexual intercourse with the male catholic unless he wears a condom. Has the male catholic committed a mortal sin by wearing a condom during intercourse ?

yes … I think birth control is a sin… even for sola scriptura believers(protestants)

Gen 38:9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife he spilled the semen on the ground, lest he should give offspring to his brother.
Gen 38:10 And what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and he slew him also.

 

[rwoehmke]

I would be looking at separation, divorce, and an annulment in that order. If the lady isn’t and never intended to live her marriage vows it should be possible.

 

[losh14]

Hi alapete,

It is good that you have concerns about the birth control she wants to use, but this is really a conversation you need to have with her. Is there a reason why she wants to use this method over another?

My wife and I used NFP both to avoid pregnancy and to plan our first pregnancy (due in a few weeks). I know it doesn’t work for everyone - something I don’t think all parish priests are sensitive to when they take a hard line on it. Women with irregular periods or certain medical conditions cannot use it easily if at all, although they’ve apparantly been able to do quite a bit at the Paul the VI Center as far as education and assistance. The downside of NFP is that it calls for brief periods of abstinence (a week at worst), which could be a time of prayer as well as a time to try non-sexual approaches to intimacy - ie, date nights whose sole intent is to shut out the outside world and build your friendship with your wife, etc.

Your wife may not give a flying rat’s bum what the Pope or the Church says, and so wouldn’t care about the prohibition on condoms. She should at least know that it is a concern for you, something that bothers you, and you should have a good discussion on it in the framework of a talk about children, your plans for each other, as well as health and financial concerns. This isn’t an easy issue, but rather is a very delicate one because it goes the core of our identity as people.

As for yourself, if there is another choice then using a condom is always a sin. But if the choice is between using a condom and total abstinence, or worse a deterioration of your relationship with your wife, I think it would be a venal sin at worst. You should still work on it, though - neglecting to have such a talk may lead to more serious problem because it will remain a source of disconnect for the both of you.

 

[Sina]

I would be looking at separation, divorce, and an annulment in that order. If the lady isn’t and never intended to live her marriage vows it should be possible.

What?? Let’s not be so harsh!!

There was a similar question in the Ask and Apologetist but it was more along the lines of the man being Catholic, and the wife being protestant, and she was the one using the pill. Basically, if the non Catholic insists on using artificial birth control, for the sake of keeping the marriage, it is generally not a mortal sin for the Catholic to partake in intercourse as long as they are not the ones using the birth control and the Catholic has made it clear to their spouse that it is wrong.

Really, in the case you give, the husband should stop using condoms and go to confession. If he didn’t know it was a mortal sin, then he wouldn’t likely be guilty of a mortal sin, but he should stop using condoms and explain to his wife that it is a sin. It is up to her if she choses to use birth control on her own. Can they learn about NFP??

As for the post about generalizing that protestants believe birth control is a sin, that isn’t necessarily true. There are many different denominations and opinions in the protestant world.

 

[Seatuck]

What if a male catholic is married to a female protestant and the female protestant will not have sexual intercourse with the male catholic unless he wears a condom. Has the male catholic committed a mortal sin by wearing a condom during intercourse ?

Yes. The Catholic needs to teach his spouse about why it is wrong and then may not participate in using the ABC.A practicing Catholic may have marital relations with a contraceptive using spouse for the sake of the marriage. For instance a Catholic wife could have intercourse with her protestant husband who insists on wearing a condom but she may not assist him with it or use a method of ABC herself. She should have a talk with him from time to time about why she doesn’t want to use it in her marriage.

1. Special difficulties are presented by cases of cooperation in the sin of a spouse who voluntarily renders the unitive act infecund. In the first place, it is necessary to distinguish cooperation in the proper sense, from violence or unjust imposition on the part of one of the spouses, which the other spouse in fact cannot resist.46, 561).] This cooperation can be licit when the three following conditions are jointly met:
   1. 
      *]when the action of the cooperating spouse is not already illicit in itself;47
      *]when proportionally grave reasons exist for cooperating in the sin of the other spouse;
      *]when one is seeking to help the other spouse to desist from such conduct (patiently, with prayer, charity and dialogue; although not necessarily in that moment, nor on every single occasion).

1. 1. Furthermore, it is necessary to carefully evaluate the question of cooperation in evil when recourse is made to means which can have an abortifacient effect.48
   vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_12021997_vademecum_en.html

 

[Sina]

You said it better than I could have Seatuck.

 

[kage_ar]

A loving wife would not want her husband to sin, and would respect his religious beliefs. This couple should seek the counsel of a holy Priest.

 

[MarieCB]

I would be looking at separation, divorce, and an annulment in that order. If the lady isn’t and never intended to live her marriage vows it should be possible.

I don’t remember anything in my marriage vows that said anything about birth control or children. And the Protestant churches that I’ve known don’t consider birth control to be a sin. I actually brought it up at the Baptist church where I used to go, with some of the deacons’ wives, and they thought I was nuts for not using it.

It was actually my Catholic husband who wanted to use birth control and thought that abortion was an acceptable method of birth control (I don’t.)

 

[jemfinch]

I don’t remember anything in my marriage vows that said anything about birth control or children.

Key to contracting a valid marriage is openness to life. If your marriage vows didn’t include anything about that openness, then they were deficient.

Jeremy

 

[Michael96]

alapete

I think some “give and take” (along with a good dose of common sense) is required in any marriage. When you both know that your rule books are different I wouldn’t look for a legalistic approach myself as that’s bound to lead to an impasse.

(But I admit I don’t have a problem with non-abortive birth control as part of family planning, so long as there is not an intention never to have children)

Michael

 

[kage_ar]

alapete

I think some “give and take” (along with a good dose of common sense) is required in any marriage. When you both know that your rule books are different I wouldn’t look for a legalistic approach myself as that’s bound to lead to an impasse.

(But I admit I don’t have a problem with non-abortive birth control as part of family planning, so long as there is not an intention never to have children)

Michael

However, as a Catholic, you understand that your opinion is in direct opposition to the the teachings of the Church.

 

[Michael96]

However, as a Catholic, you understand that your opinion is in direct opposition to the the teachings of the Church.

Yes, I do. I know it is conflict with official teaching, though I know many in the Church share the same view (in fact it is possibly the majority view, though I realise that teaching is not based on most common belief).

 

[losh14]

Yes, I do. I know it is conflict with official teaching, though I know many in the Church share the same view (in fact it is possibly the majority view, though I realise that teaching is not based on most common belief).

Sometimes we have to work our way there - there isn’t an “Oh, geez, okay” moment and all is settled. This is especially so in our marriage because two minds and hearts must be moved. Be prayerful, loving and patient on this. It is worth it, brother.