Catholic marrying a Protestant

[quick_23_13]

I’m catholic and my girlfriend is protestant. she wants to get married in her church which i’m find with, but i also want to still be an active catholic. Is there a way we can do this and it be validated or something by a priest. And what steps usually take place?

 

[Cristiano]

Step #1: Talk to a priest in the parish where you are an active Catholic.

 

[1ke]

You need to start with your parish priest. You need to fulfill ALL of the requisites for a Catholic marriage. This means both you and your fiance participating in marriage preparation, interviews with the priest, etc.

Additionally, you will need to complete paperwork asking for permission to marry a non-Catholic and a dispensation to marry outside the Catholic form of marriage.

You will need to show that you will not be hindered in the practice of your faith, and you must promise to raise any children as Catholics.

Go see your priest, and discuss everything with him.

 

[abbiegirl]

You need to start with your parish priest. You need to fulfill ALL of the requisites for a Catholic marriage. This means both you and your fiance participating in marriage preparation, interviews with the priest, etc.

Additionally, you will need to complete paperwork asking for permission to marry a non-Catholic and a dispensation to marry outside the Catholic form of marriage.

You will need to show that you will not be hindered in the practice of your faith, and you must promise to raise any children as Catholics.

Go see your priest, and discuss everything with him.

If I’m not mistaken, all this is true, and a priest may be present at your wedding to bless it (no Mass of course).

 

[1ke]

If I’m not mistaken, all this is true, and a priest may be present at your wedding to bless it (no Mass of course).

If they married in her denomination, then the Catholic priest would attend as a witness to the marriage. He would then take care of recording the marriage in the Sacramental records of the Catholic party.

 

[juliamca]

I was married to a protestant for 36 years. I hope you realize this is just the begin of your life and your spirt being split in 2 places. Your whole married life will be split. You will never truly have a Catholic home. It will be very hard for your children to be wholly Catholic. 1 of my children embrassed the whole Catholic Church, was married in the church and has a Catholic husband. but sad to say 2 did not. they did not embrace anything. they went to Catholic School and were brought up Catholic but told me recently they did not see the point. Dad was not Catholic and seemed to be doing OK. Think very hard about the conflict you seem to be having already and you are not even married yet. There are alot of very good mixed marriages and they last forever but look at what it does to the kids. I will not repeat that again.I want a totally Catholic home.You can only get that from a totally Catholic marriage. God Bess

 

[ash_purplestar]

Was wondering if any of you could offer guidance. Im an active catholic, my faith in god is very important to me. I’ve been attending mass weekly at a parish 15 minutes away from where i live, as its close to my mums house, and one of my best friends and her family are very active in the parish, i also really enjoy the priests style of service. I just called the priest to ask if i could speak to him bout getting married there next summer. He said he would have no marriage rights over us because we dont live in the parish area and my fiance was raised a protestant, which may be an obstacle also (he is not actively protestant, he doesn’t consider himself religious although supports my beliefs). My fiance is more than happy to get married in the catholic church and of course my children will be catholic. a civil ceromony is not a wedding to me, marriage is more a spiritual union in the eyes of god than a practical legal issue. I am very upset about this as i feel i have more faith than most and we are genuinly a better couple than many who marry. has anyone experienced and overcome similar concerns? Thankyou

 

[THurifer2]

Was wondering if any of you could offer guidance. Im an active catholic, my faith in god is very important to me. I’ve been attending mass weekly at a parish 15 minutes away from where i live, as its close to my mums house, and one of my best friends and her family are very active in the parish, i also really enjoy the priests style of service. I just called the priest to ask if i could speak to him bout getting married there next summer. He said he would have no marriage rights over us because we dont live in the parish area and my fiance was raised a protestant, which may be an obstacle also (he is not actively protestant, he doesn’t consider himself religious although supports my beliefs). My fiance is more than happy to get married in the catholic church and of course my children will be catholic. a civil ceromony is not a wedding to me, marriage is more a spiritual union in the eyes of god than a practical legal issue. I am very upset about this as i feel i have more faith than most and we are genuinly a better couple than many who marry. has anyone experienced and overcome similar concerns? Thankyou

I suggest you wait for your fiance’ to become Catholic. As a Previous poster clearly spells out the tribulations that come with children and mixed marriages. I know many people who call themselves “active” Catholics wouldn’t even consider dating a protestant. Remember GOD FIRST.

You are walking on VERY troubled water by considering Marrying someone who isn’t “very Religious”.

You need to consider the possibility of living for DECADES with someone who could never end up acknowledging God’s call.

I want to let you know that it is EXTREMELY important for children to witness a Father who has deep faith. Every agnoistic, atheist and lukewarm person I know did not have a “religious” Father figure in the home.

Certainly the most important thing in your life (GOD) should be the focal point of your Marriage. How can that be if you are starting out with someone who doesn’t take interest in his Creator? This is HEAVY stuff you are contemplating. THINK long and hard.

I know a woman in my parish that married a man thinking he would change…He ended up being the same pleasant Man for decades but due to his unbelief they never talked about God…he never changed like she hoped for all those years. Only one of their 8 children go to church and at christmas and easter only.

If your fiancee’ were an active protestant I certainly would give more encouraging words. A man of faith is a solid man.

 

[Etonite]

I am an Anglican and therefore a catholi. I was once engaged to a Roman Catholic and was suitably brain washed about what I had to do in order to marry my finacee. However and for other reasons the marriage did not take place.

[Edited]

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m catholic and my girlfriend is protestant. she wants to get married in her church which i’m find with, but i also want to still be an active catholic. Is there a way we can do this and it be validated or something by a priest. And what steps usually take place?

No you cannot get married in her church. You can get married according to the law of the Catholic Church. Go see your pastor today and get started on preparation for marriage and obtain counselling on the course you are planning-marrying a non-Catholic-and to obtain the necessary dispensations. If there is a really grave reason, it is possible to marry in her church with a dispensation, but it is not cut and dried, and not commonly given.

Before you discern marriage, discern your faith and your commitment to your baptismal promises. You are not equipped to be a husband and father without a firm foundation in your faith.

 

[THurifer2]

I am an Anglican and therefore a catholi. I was once engaged to a Roman Catholic and was suitably brain washed about what I had to do in order to marry my finacee. However and for other reasons the marriage did not take place.

I can only regard the insistence of the RC church as “protectionism” when it come to the insistence on teoing the RC line. The distinctions between the churches who adhere to Catholicism is surely man made. I feel that God would take a more lenient view. How right can a church be that subjects some of its members to this kind of mental anguish and soul searching.

Sounds like a relativis-t er I mean Anglican to me.

 

[1ke]

Was wondering if any of you could offer guidance. Im an active catholic, my faith in god is very important to me. I’ve been attending mass weekly at a parish 15 minutes away from where i live, as its close to my mums house, and one of my best friends and her family are very active in the parish, i also really enjoy the priests style of service. I just called the priest to ask if i could speak to him bout getting married there next summer. He said he would have no marriage rights over us because we dont live in the parish area and my fiance was raised a protestant, which may be an obstacle also (he is not actively protestant, he doesn’t consider himself religious although supports my beliefs).

He is right about not having authority to marry you. Canon Law stipulates you be married in your parish. HOWEVER, you can get married in this other parish with your own pastor’s permission to do so.

It’s not a big deal. Start by contacting YOUR parish priest. Explain you want to marry in your mother’s parish and ask if he can make arrangements with this other priest to allow it.

From canon law:

Can. 1115 Marriages are to be celebrated in a parish where either of the contracting parties has a domicile, quasidomicile, or month long residence or, if it concerns transients, in the parish where they actually reside. With the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I’m catholic and my girlfriend is protestant. she wants to get married in her church which i’m find with, but i also want to still be an active catholic. Is there a way we can do this and it be validated or something by a priest. And what steps usually take place?

Yes it’s possible to do this. You can request your Bishops permission for this from your pastor during the Marriage preparation process.

 

[AliciaCL]

See if you can get your betrothed to go through RCIA. One does not have to commit to converting to Catholicism; it can be simply a detailed course which explains the faith. This would be helpful for your life together and we’re going on 11 yrs. I married a non-Catholic but one who is is very religious and non-denominational. There are indeed difficulties but I’d rather have my fate than a marriage to a Catholic who is not very religious. Oh, and for future reference I’d start going with new jargon, don’t say “Protestant” anymore, say “non-Catholic.” They tend to get a bit indignant over being lumped together.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am an Anglican and therefore a catholi. I was once engaged to a Roman Catholic and was suitably brain washed about what I had to do in order to marry my finacee. However and for other reasons the marriage did not take place.

I can only regard the insistence of the RC church as “protectionism” when it come to the insistence on teoing the RC line. The distinctions between the churches who adhere to Catholicism is surely man made. I feel that God would take a more lenient view. How right can a church be that subjects some of its members to this kind of mental anguish and soul searching.

There is only one Christ, and there is only one Catholic Church… The Anglican Communion is NOT part of it. Re-read your history, the Anglican Communion separated from the Catholic unity. I might agree with you that the laws of the Catholic Church are intended to protect the faith of Catholics.

 

[Etonite]

There is only one Christ, and there is only one Catholic Church… The Anglican Communion is NOT part of it. Re-read your history, the Anglican Communion separated from the Catholic unity. I might agree with you that the laws of the Catholic Church are intended to protect the faith of Catholics.

Several million people who recite their Creed might not agree with you and are you therefore saying that these millions who believe in “the Holy Catholic Church” are wrong?

The church in England broke away from Rome not from Catholicism. There are many types of methodist who broke away from the original concept; would you say that they are no longer methodists? Are Shia any less Muslim than the Sunni?

Catholicism is a belief not an organisation.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Several million people who recite their Creed might not agree with you and are you therefore saying that these millions who believe in “the Holy Catholic Church” are wrong?

The church in England broke away from Rome not from Catholicism. There are many types of methodist who broke away from the original concept; would you say that they are no longer methodists? Are Shia any less Muslim than the Sunni?

Catholicism is a belief not an organisation.

The Church of England broke away from Catholic unity. It is not as Anglicans believe a union of the Catholic Church, Anglican Communion, and the Orthodox Church. Are there many Methodist Communions or one? Are they all united under one leader or many? The Catholic Church is ONE, Christ established only ONE Church, headed by Peter, and now his successor, Pope Benedict XVI.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Several million people who recite their Creed might not agree with you and are you therefore saying that these millions who believe in “the Holy Catholic Church” are wrong?

Actually, the Creed cites ONE holy, catholic, and apostolic church. We are united – we are one – because we are in union with the pope. If you consider the pope to be a nice guy but not to have any authority over you, then you’re not Catholic.

 

[AMDGtoo]

Several million people who recite their Creed might not agree with you and are you therefore saying that these millions who believe in “the Holy Catholic Church” are wrong?

So now it is coming down to a popularity contest and splitting hairs? I don’t think so. History has it that the church of England broke away from the one holy and Catholic Church with King Henry VIII (and his desires.) The Catholic Church encompasses the Eastern Catholic Rites as well as the Roman Rite. The Anglican church is not among those Rites, no matter how many people want to say that it is.

BTW, the adjective “Roman” wasn’t even used until one of the Protestant sects in the 16th century or so wanted to claim that they were “Catholics” too but still wanted to show that they were somehow “different” than the established Church. It was meant as an insult (along the lines of Papist) but instead the Catholic Church started using the word and took the “sting” out of it.

 

[Phemie]

If they married in her denomination, then the Catholic priest would attend as a witness to the marriage. He would then take care of recording the marriage in the Sacramental records of the Catholic party.

I think that depends where the Catholic is getting married. In Canada there is no expectation that the Catholic pastor will attend and it is the Catholic party’s responsibility to notify his/her parish that the marriage has in fact taken place.