Catholic marrying outside of Church

[mar1ann3]

My brother is getting married outside of the Church in September. He was baptised Catholic as was his fiance, but he was not confirmed. She was confirmed Catholic but has left the Church. Is it a sin to go to their wedding, since it will be supporting their marriage outside the Church since she is a confirmed Catholic? My sister says that it is and is refusing to go to the wedding. Should I not go?

 

[HolyWhiteKnight]

So your brother is getting married outside the Church because he is not confirmed? That is a really stupid reason. He should just get hooked up in his parish’s RCIA program or maybe he could just work with his priest or deacon one-on-one. They need to be well-grounded in their faith anyway so that they can raise their children in the Faith and to defend their beliefs and also for their own spiritual growth.

As to your question, I would say its not a sin to “attend.” That means that its ok to watch. I would NOT help set up or anything like that or even buy them a “wedding” present, because that would be encouraging them. I would not clap after the service.

So thats my thoughts on the matter. I am sure someone with more knowledge and authority can answer your question.

 

[Nan_S]

This topic is, unfortunately, not new.

The short answer: so far as anyone has been able to find, Holy Mother Church has not definitively defined attendance at such a wedding to be sinful.

Here’s the bottom line so far as I’m concerned (and it happened in my family, so I know whereof I speak): Do you intend to have a relationship with them after the wedding?

Half the answers you will get would say that your presence at such a wedding is tantamount to supporting their rejection of the Church, so send your regrets and stay home. Explain your reasons if you think such an explanation will be received. If enough of the family objects, and they really care about family, they may decide to get married in the Church after all.

The other half of the answers you will get would say that harsh positions often backfire. Attend the wedding; your presence in the pews is a sign that you want to work on building bridges with the hopes of having them return to the church. After all, Jesus didn’t insist that sinners be made clean before he accepted their hospitality and ate with them.

Ultimately it’s your call. There are legitimate reasons for either answer. However, if you do attend, limit yourself to staying in the pews and not participating in the wedding party. Active participation in a non-Catholic religious ceremony would be indicative that you accept their “new” religious lifestyle.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Does the couple consider themselves to be Catholic? If so, they should have a Catholic wedding. If they don’t consider themselves Catholic and aren’t regularly attending mass in a parish I don’t think they could find a priest who would marry them anyway. But if they want to be married in the Catholic church, this could be a ‘teachable moment’ for them.

Your brother can get married in the church even if he isn’t confirmed yet. That’s a non-issue. Also, the fact that his fiancee is confirmed isn’t really an issue either.

Since both were brought up Catholic (I assume), they are aware that the church won’t consider them married due to lack of form. If they divorce, either one could easily get an annulment. Maybe this is what they want?

In any case, they will be legally married and the family will have to interact with them as a couple.

It wouldn’t be a sin to attend the wedding but to participate in the wedding would be wrong.

At some time in the future if your brother and his wife want to come back to the church, they can get the marriage convalidated at that time.