Catholic Match.com

[pianoplayingmom]

Is it me or is this online dating service promoting immoral behavior in promoting dating by people who are divorced but still married in the eyes of the Church? One of the questions in the profile is whether one is divorced or has an annulment. When I search through profiles, I see many (maybe even most that I’ve seen) who say they are divorced. I’ve had men from this site interested in dating me but they do not have an annulment. This is immoral. I can’t believe Drew Mariano from Relevant Radio and Fr. Pavone both advertise this site. I tend to think it is creating scandal. Am I correct in this thinking?

 

[Dale_M]

I can’t believe Drew Mariano from Relevant Radio and Fr. Pavone both advertise this site. I tend to think it is creating scandal.

Fr. Pavone does more than advertise, he is listed among the endorsers of Catholic Match.

My following comments may be ill-founded since I know little about the organization (I just created an account to take a look-see), but perhaps your concern is misplaced. Divorce is not necessarily an end-stage status. Many folks who eventually are granted an annulment are still in the category of “divorced”… they are simply waiting for the Church to fully look into their case.

Of course, some folks may not be comfortable dating a person before their annulment, and that is fine. Personally, I think trading emails, phone calls and even going on a couple dates is all acceptable. If things were to turn serious, then a bit of cool-down and discussion (and prayer) would seem to be in order.

 

[Scottgun]

As Dale said, one can’t assume these people are intending to attempt to contract a marriage without an annulment of the previous. It seems that would become readily apparent in further conversation. Yeah, it should be one of the first questions one should ask however.

 

[pianoplayingmom]

Good thoughts…divorce can be a means to an end. It was for me in my annulment process. You’ve helped me not judge harshly here, although I still find it odd that people would be out soliciting a dating scenario when they are still considered married by the Church. It seems like they’re playing with fire. I don’t think it’s all that easy to turn off emotions, once a couple has become attached. My thinking is why start something you may not be able to finish? I have known people who were turned down for an annulment.

 

[ljprevo]

I guess that I am guilty as charged. I met my wife on CatholicSingles.com before my annulment was completed.

However my wife said that she always filter people like me and she never found me.

When we met we stayed simply as friends until my annulment was complete.

It is wonderful that God brought me my best friend. If the site didn’t allow me I would not have my wife today.

 

[gemtwin84]

As a former member of CM I can attest to the fact that the subject of divorced but not yet annulled is a constant HOT topic on the forums there. Many won’t even engage in friendship with those of us awaiting annulments which I think is a pity to turn down the chance to develop a solid friendship. Being divorced creates a giant hole in your friendship circle and many seek online friendships to deal with the hurt and disappointment that comes with divorce.

Most divorced Catholics are honest about the fact that they need to hold back from dating until the Tribunals decision comes down. Of course, there are those who don’t give a rat’s patooty about it and they get weeded out by the devoted and faithful ones. Many times members have requested the profiles to change to reflect a 'divorced and seeking annulment" or “Annulled” status but I have yet to hear if the Admins have decided to do this yet. I have made numerous friends around the world on the site and am grateful and thankful for the site for that. Unfortunately, I had to discontinue my membership due to finances.

Does it create scandal? Well, there are those zealous ones on the site who make sure the divorced are put in their place, if you know what I mean, on a regular basis. I can’t really answer that question as I’ve been too busy climbing out of the pit od depression that I fell into after my own divorce. Most divorced are just looking for support and friendship as they waited, an eternity for some of us, for the Tribunals decision. Friendship is vital for this. Is it scandalous to seek friends and support? I don’t think so.