Catholic Meeting/Singles websites

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childofmary1143

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I am just curious to hear what people here think of Catholic meeting/dating websites…
 
i met my husband on one
posted a profile with no picture
we met a week later in person
 
I posted a profile and photo. Met a very nice man immediately, who began to court me and is now moving to my state. I’d recommend Ave Maria Singles to any serious Catholic called to marriage. I encountered a lot more strange men (and CINOs) on the two other most popular Catholic singles sites and would only recommend AMS at this point in time.
 
i haven’t voted, as I’m not sure I’m into the idea of joining a dating site, but maybe a singles thread or forum here would be nice. I am on another board that had a matchmaking thread that people posted ‘profiles’ on.
 
childofmary1143 said:
I am just curious to hear what people here think of Catholic meeting/dating websites…
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I met my husband via Ave Maria. We both posted pictures.

We both joined around 2001. My husband wrote to me in 2003. We married in 2005.
 
I voted yes I would but I wont do it in reality (I know, seems contradictoray). Well, I 'm engaged to be married so there is no need. However, I see nothing wrong with someone using it and would consider it myself. Its a good way to meet people with like values. Just watch out for weirdos. It’s the internet!!!
 
Fidelia said:
i haven’t voted, as I’m not sure I’m into the idea of joining a dating site, but maybe a singles thread or forum here would be nice. I am on another board that had a matchmaking thread that people posted ‘profiles’ on.
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**Considering your other thread, you might want to keep an open mind about dating sites. Especially Ave maria as it seems so highly recommended by many CAF forum members.

It is very easy for someone to lie over the internet. But to go through the structure of joining a real dating site that is Catholic in nature and pay fees etc should weed out many of the weirdos who may consider posting on the other board you mention.

If I had to do it all over again, I would join a Catholic singles/meeting website in a heartbeat!!! I wouldn’t post a pic but would consider sending pics to interested men as I saw fit.

Malia
**
 
My sister and brother in law make for the **fifth **couple I know who met and married from AveMariaCatholicSingles.

So yes, I would do it. And I must say when she was still a member it was fun reading through all the guy profiles. 😃

Like Malia said, I can imagine that the hefty fee for AveMaria ($100) weeds out a lot of the weirdos. Not to mention the long profile process.
 
I could convince myself to do that, but I have a couple of practical reservations:
  1. Love from first sight does not exist. You will not know until you’ve known the person for long enough.
  2. In such circumstances as #1 describes, it’s only harder when the people know that they are checking each other out because that is, after all, how they met, in the very first place.
  3. I don’t really like the idea of limiting myself to the first stranger my eyes rest on for the purpose and the period of finding out. At the same time, I believe it to be disrespectful to play the game with multiple people.
  4. Romantic relationships with more than one person at a time are disordered. It’s unnatural. It’s actually natural, but in such a way as giving in to urges, conformism, seeking pleasure or convenience. If I maintain contacts with a number of strangers and acquaintances, I will limit the contacts to a friendly base. However, I do not trust the majority of people on this. And I have no desire ever to end up tangled up with a serial kisser or a girl with several friends with benefits (not talking sexual). I can’t help associating online dating with some form of polyamory.
  5. People who give information online give the kind of information they want, not the kind of information you want. They also get the choice of presenting themselves in some ways that can’t be pulled off in real life.
For these five reasons, I would be extremely hesitant to post a profile. Before starting a relationship, I would need to know that the person is serious about me and has healthy ideas of relationships, no polyamory-without-sex kind of stuff that some people do and think it’s all right because there’s no sex, so it’s basically friends. In most cases, I wouldn’t really set up a meeting without having first seen a picture and one that’s current and clear. Of course, first meetings for me are not first dates, so that would have to be known, so that I’m not expected to kiss anyone and it’s not attempted on me (on the cheek if we make friends maybe), and so I don’t get any lovey dovey kind of lovers lane and pink balloons and birds and bees kind of stuff, but a social conversation and a bit of a good time. So all in all, I guess it wouldn’t net many potential candidates for me anyway and those I met would become friends and nothing else.
 
don’t underestimate the people who are on sites like ours…your 5 points seem to lack experience with any of them, at least those that are Catholic, they are not ‘meat markets’ as your post implies and in no way are you committing yourself to anything by participating…one should always get to know someone over whatever period of time it takes to feel comfortable, and the art of letter writing and expressing one’s thoughts should be a wonderful indication of someone’s character, as are the profiles that give insight…from that point, phone calls and meeting someone are the next steps in developing a friendship and/or relationship. if you check our success stories it would hardly indicate anything less than a holy Catholic family…

with that said be aware of those sites that are Catholic for marketing purposes only, and apparently are not Catholic owned…sites such as catholicmingle, and catholicpeoplemeet have no Catholic content whatsoever…best of luck in your search!

btw…posting a photo, while not in everyone’s comfort zone, is very helpful…you should not discount the physical nature that is part of one’s attraction to another. while it is not the end all, it is a valid part of God’s plan that you be attracted to your potential mate, which is the kind of person we should be dating. additionally a statistic is that profiles with photos get much more responses so take that for what it is…just a part of the process! oh, and one last word of advice…if you do post a photo somewhere…smile! you’d be amazed how many people don’t put their best foot forward when adding a picture. 😉
 
Malia- Good point. I am not completely closed to the idea, but not sure I’m into it. I also have an isue with the fee thing.

I agree with a few things within Chev’s five points.
 
If I may post my own experiences …

I joined AMS in 2002 and was in a two-year relationship with a man I met through the site. There are plus and minuses in courtship through this medium. Here is my advice --for what it’s worth …
  1. The men and women on the AMS site are authentic, devout Catholics. If anything, you will find it a blessed reassurance that you aren’t alone in being a faithful Catholic and living a single life.
  2. When you finally meet, make it in a neutral place. Don’t give out personal information until you are really, really sure about someone. I always told the men I met that I wasn’t worried that they might be ax-murderers; I was more afraid they were spammers. 🙂
  3. Once you have met and decided that you want to continue the relationship, I advise you to seek out the best way to do this in a traditional dating format. (Which will be difficult if there are … geography issues.)
  4. Meet his family. Even though the relationship ended, I am still very close to the family of the man I dated through the site.
  5. Be careful, but be honest in your expectations. Many men want to meet Mary. The first uncharitable thing you say about … well … anything, will bring you instant condemnation. Many women want to marry IMMEDIATELY once they discern the person they are trading emails with is for real (this I know from my ex’s viewpoint.)
    5)Pray every day for discernment and pray for those you correspond with. I still pray for the man I was involved in from that site every day, and it’s been five years.
I hope this helps and is at least … to the point. 🙂
 
Fidelia said:
Malia- Good point. I am not completely closed to the idea, but not sure I’m into it. I also have an issue with the fee thing.
**
I agree with a few things within Chev’s five points.**

To me the fee is a plus, not a minus. There are so many guys out there who won’t even pay for a woman’s dinner while on a date or insist that she pays for her own movie ticket. Then they still expect to get “lucky” because that’s so common in our culture.

To me, if a man is willing to pay $100 for the chance to meet a woman who is compatible with him in faith, morals, and values then he just might be worth checking out. Also, any man who even knows of Ave Maria Singles (or other orthodox sites) is already a step ahead of most.

Of course, if a guy is a real scum bag and just wants to mess with women’s heads or “score” a virgin, then he will do whatever it takes. But I am guessing that the fee and the process would be a good deterrent to most.

Malia
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that is a lot of money though. especially for a student. when who even know if my age group is on it and if a even would meet anyone, you know?
 
Fidelia said:
that is a lot of money though. especially for a student. when who even know if my age group is on it and if a even would meet anyone, you know?
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I hear the $100 is for a lifetime membership. I tease my sister that when she’s widowed at 98, she can get back on and find a studly toothless man with a shiny bald head. :cool:
 
sanctareparata said:
I hear the $100 is for a lifetime membership. I tease my sister that when she’s widowed at 98, she can get back on and find a studly toothless man with a shiny bald head. :cool:
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**
Why wait until she’s 98??? LOL, if he’s studly then she should go for it now!**
 
Fidelia said:
that is a lot of money though. especially for a student. when who even know if my age group is on it and if a even would meet anyone, you know?
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**
I know what you mean. But it depends on what a person is looking for and when they want to find it. If I was single I would be looking for a good hearted man with similar interests to mine who shared my faith and had the same goals in life. I wouldn’t even know where to start looking!!! That kind of match could be near impossible to find by pure chance. So I would see that $100 as a great investment in my future. Maybe I would need to put aside $10/month until i had enough, but I would do it.

Of course, you are free to do whatever you want in life, lol. Pay no attention to me;)**
 
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