My experience is quite like lovemysix’s–except I’ve only been married three months so far! We are gloriously happy, as much in love as ever, and are just enjoying being husband and wife.
DH and I met when we were both 18 and about to head off to college (same school–that’s how we met after attending different high schools in the same city). For both of us, it was our first serious relationship. I had never met a guy worth dating before him–no one was mature, thoughtful, or committed enough to their faith.
Probably within a year of starting to date, while we were still freshmen in college, we discerned that we were called to marriage with one another. It was a lot of back and forth, and a lot of prayer, to reach that point. We then decided we would do the sensible thing and wait until after we graduated from college to marry.
But our peace with that decision to wait didn’t last for long. We started to feel that God was calling us to something different, to a deeper commitment and a new life together, and we were finding it hard to imagine waiting for so long to share that life together. We realized that because of having credits taken care of before we got to school, we could both graduate early, and the possibility of marrying sooner opened up for us. So we got engaged–during the spring semester of our sophomore year. People thought we were crazy, and we didn’t really have an exact timeframe in mind. But it was right for us. We married this past summer, after completing our junior year. We are both finishing our final semester–my husband in class full-time and working part-time, while I work full-time and go to one class a week.
It’s hard, and it’s not for everyone. Be forewarned that your life as a college student ends when you get married. Yes, you’re married and in college, but it’s a totally different experience of university life, especially if you go from living on campus and doing the full-time student thing. You have to be prepared to make sacrifices. I’m working in a bank right now, which is something for which I’m overqualified based on the type of school I go to and the degree I will have in a couple of months, but which is frustratingly the only job I could find as a not-yet-graduated Arts and Letters major.
Importantly, you have to be able to support yourselves. It is not good to be married and “independent” and yet feel indebted to parents or to see that they feel that you are not yet fully on your own and making your own decisions. What we did was draw up a tentative budget after researching all the costs in our area. Rent, utilities, food, car, gas, insurance (!!!), phone, internet, school fees, all need to be figured in.
All of this says nothing of where you should be in your life together and in your relationship. Are you both Catholic? Do you pray together? Are you on the same page when it comes to chastity before and within marriage? Have you talked about using NFP? Do you share hopes and dreams? Do you share similar ideas about how you will raise your family, when you will have children, if you will both work or if you will stay home with the kids? Do you fight a lot about petty things, or are you both pretty easy-going? All of these are important things to talk about and think about…
Good luck in your discernment! You are in my prayers!
