Catholic photographer and "gay" weddings

[Rob_in_Oregon]

I’ve been a professional photographer for 31 years. In the last 5 years, I’ve been asked to photograph some gay “weddings.”

What I’ve been doing is politely declining, sometimes lying that their date has already been taken by someone else. I would feel very uncomfortable at one of these if I had to do it.

For obvious reasons, I don’t want to take part in something instrinsically immoral, but I also don’t want to get sued in this liberal bastion of Oregon. The judges here, many of whom are Janet Reno types, would have no mercy.

Does anyone have advice, both on the morality of this, and the legal issues?

God bless… - Rob

 

[blessedtoo]

I have been asked to cater a few weddings for homosexual couples. One of them actually did conflict with a prior engagement and I was thankful that was the only explanation I had to give when I declined. One of them I just never responded to. I was asked to cater a photo exhibit which was being held in a gallery that displayed explicity homosexual art. In fact, one of the paintings in this gallery was a horrifying and obscene image of the Blessed Virgin (I will omit the details but it made me cry). For this event I simply told the “client”, who was homoesexual, that I would not partipate because I was profoundly offended by the “art” on display in this gallery. It was a touchy moment, but he eventually understood.

I really base my decision on the event. Weddings, absolutely not. Functions that are exclusively celebrating the homosexual lifestyle and culture, no. But one has to be very careful when giving a reason for declining the business. I am sure you have read on this forum of business owners who have stated their objections and refused to do business with or for homosexual couples and have been slapped with discrimination lawsuits.

I have found the best way to avoid all this is to advertise in venues that reach a more traditional community: Church bulletins, Diocesan newspapers, etc.

 

[Catholig]

Rob,

I don’t know what to tell you. I wouldn’t participate in these “weddings” in any way, shape, or form, but lying isn’t the way to go either. I probably would simply say, “I’m sorry I won’t be able to photograph your wedding” and leave it at that. I don’t think you are required to give a reason. And if they press you just repeat it - don’t give them any ammo.

All in all though, I think it is truely ridiculous that a business owner, or a service provider should be sued for denying service. I mean if it’s your business why can’t you call the shots?

Catholig

 

[JimG]

It sounds like you have both handled it well. I can only assume that the likelhood of discrimination lawsuits will always be present, particularly if “sexual orientation” is a protected class. Most non-discrimination laws don’t have any conscience clause for those who do not wish to lend support to activities they find objectionable.

 

[blessedtoo]

It sounds like you have both handled it well. I can only assume that the likelhood of discrimination lawsuits will always be present, particularly if “sexual orientation” is a protected class. Most non-discrimination laws don’t have any conscience clause for those who do not wish to lend support to activities they find objectionable.

This is, unfortunately, true. Here in the Scandinavian-country of the State of Washington, pharmacists can no longer use the conscience clause to refuse the day-after pill to customers. It is a secularist attempt to lobotomize what little conscience society has left.

 

[JimG]

All in all though, I think it is truely ridiculous that a business owner, or a service provider should be sued for denying service. I mean if it’s your business why can’t you call the shots?

Catholig

Sounds reasonable. But in the current state of society, I can already hear the potential plaintiff’s response: ‘This is just the position of business owners in Jim Crow days who did not want to do business with blacks. It’s my restuarant, (or whatever), I should be able to serve whom I choose.’

So when sexual orientation is placed on the same level as race or ethnicity, we find ourselves on shaky ground.

Unfortunately, I think it’s already too late to reverse that. Which means a lot of people may find themselves in a conflict between conscience and law.

 

[Catholig]

Sounds reasonable. But in the current state of society, I can already hear the potential plaintiff’s response: ‘This is just the position of business owners in Jim Crow days who did not want to do business with blacks. It’s my restuarant, (or whatever), I should be able to serve whom I choose.’

So when sexual orientation is placed on the same level as race or ethnicity, we find ourselves on shaky ground.

Unfortunately, I think it’s already too late to reverse that. Which means a lot of people may find themselves in a conflict between conscience and law.

Yeah, but what about nudists? What happened to no shirt, no shoes, no service? There are different forms of discrimination, one is based on choice, and the other on uncontrolable things (such as race). If someone’s actions are sinful, why must you support the sin by serving them? Why must you be forced to violate your concious (sp?) in your domain? Or to use a morally relativist argument, what is acceptable, and what is not acceptable, is dictated by the culture, society, location, etc. So what harm is there in letting one dictate the culture or morals of his own business?

Catholig

 

[urban-hermit]

I agree with Catholig. Simply don’t allow yourself to feel obliged to give a reason why not. They may surmise your reason, but that’s not grounds for a lawsuit. Don’t give them any ammunition to use against you. I’m no expert, but that’s what I think anyway.

Don’t some restaurants still have signs that say “we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason” or something to that effect? With the way things are going these days, every business owner should have such protection I think.

 

[JimG]

Yeah, but what about nudists?
. . . If someone’s actions are sinful, why must you support the sin by serving them?
Catholig

Nudists aren’t a protected class (yet!). Maybe in some places they are. But the fact remains that most anti-discrimination laws routinely recite the protected categories of race, religion, national origin, gender, and sexual orientation as prohibited bases of discrimination.

I agree with you. But keep in mind that lobbying groups have spent the last 30 years or so right under our noses, pushing for inclusion of sexual orientation as one of the protected classes. Now we are trying to live with the result.

 

[blessedtoo]

If someone’s actions are sinful, why must you support the sin by serving them?

The only sin our culture recognizes is “intolerance”. Do a poll of Catholics to see how many of them actually believe homosexuality is a sin. So how could we ever expect society to acknowledge something even many Catholics will not?

But keep in mind that lobbying groups have spent the last 30 years or so right under our noses, pushing for inclusion of sexual orientation as one of the protected classes. Now we are trying to live with the result.

What Jim said!

 

[Teakafrog]

Simply say something neutral like, “I have a prior commitment that day”, which you do. You have a commitment to something every day, whether it’s eating breakfast or taking a shower. Don’t lie and say you’re booked, or have another wedding if you don’t, just that you have something else to do. I agree with the idea of not giving them ammo to sue you. Because if you point blank say “I won’t do it because you’re gay” eventually someone will sue you.

 

[lizaanne]

Simply say something neutral like, “I have a prior commitment that day”, which you do. You have a commitment to something every day, whether it’s eating breakfast or taking a shower. Don’t lie and say you’re booked, or have another wedding if you don’t, just that you have something else to do. I agree with the idea of not giving them ammo to sue you. Because if you point blank say “I won’t do it because you’re gay” eventually someone will sue you.

I agree with this approach. Then put their date on your calendar with the notation to attend daily mass and go and pray for them. If anyone questions your calendar you can support the date conflict, and you will also be praying for the souls of these people. You can always have a commitment, and what better commitment than going to mass!

~Liza

 

[puzzleannie]

in denying to serve any potential customer for any professional service business, one need merely state that one has a prior commitment on that date. never complain, never explain (Hank Ford II). the commitment can be to do your laundry or watch gillgan’s island reruns, none of the customer’s business.

 

[johnpaul2_fan]

I also would agree with the rest of the advise. However, if you do know of a faithful Catholic lawyer they may be able to better provide you with more of an idea the legalities of the situation.

(You could perhaps advertise in diocesan newspapers, or sometime church bulletins have a place for advertising on the back of the bulletin. At least if you want to attract more of a Catholic crowd.)