Catholic - Protestant marriage Problems

[Lee1]

Ok, so I’ll move on in a minute.
I must say that until I reframed my own decades of experience of this kind of problem I didn’t gain much at all, just grey hairs!

As a Catholic I can gain from pain and my critic becomes my friend. This is how we can benefit from our trials.

 

[Juan]

We have since talked and all seems calm now. It will be a growing process for both of us that is for sure. I will get more involved in my local church and attend there regularly and she hers, avoid focusing on our differences and also try not to argue over this topic anymore. I will also seek some council from her Priest on how to approach or deal with this matter better, maybe even request him to council us.

Thank you for allowing me to blow off some steam as well as all your (name removed by moderator)uts and advice, it is much appreciated. I am sure we will get through this, although it will be hard work and lots of prayer.

 

[QwertyGirl]

Now that I said I will no longer attend her church or discuss the topic, I am told I am a childish quitter who
threw in the towel and cant form logical arguments. I really dont know anymore.

She is trying to engage you. Don’t let her.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

You are doing the right thing. Maybe a priest can set her straight if it is how you say it is. Nobody gains converts in the matter she is going about trying. Your choice to be protestant is a choice that should still be respected.

Maybe you can say a prayer with your wife. Tell her there is no way her conversion methods will work but you want to pray with her that if God wants you to be Catholic that may he lead you to the Catholic faith and that you leave it in His hands and ask your wife to do the same? Maybe it will help get her off your back? Unless you have a objection to this. I think many probably would.

Prayer said for your marriage. God bless

 

[Hodos]

I would recommend studying the Bible and praying together. My wife and I are also a mixed Protestant and Catholic couple. Through our family Bible study together she has come to appreciate the Protestant views of scripture as she sees how we study to understand what the apostles taught in context as well as our doctrine on justification. She has also seen how our family Bible Study has served to deepen the faith of our children and give clarity to them. I on the other hand have come to appreciate some of the devotions and traditions that she holds dear that Protestants believe in, but may not practice as frequently (such as Stations of the Cross, things like that). Perhaps that could help find some common ground.

 

[TheLittleLady]

such as Stations of the Cross

As a convert, that is a devotion that I often share with my non-Catholic friends and family. Meditating on the Stations is more than just a thing to do in Lent (although taking friends to Lenten SOTC is a great thing!)

 

[Hodos]

As a convert, that is a devotion that I often share with my non-Catholic friends and family. Meditating on the Stations is more than just a thing to do in Lent (although taking friends to Lenten SOTC is a great thing!)

My wife and I always do this at Lent. There are some quirks with the Catholic version that make me cringe a bit, but I do love the practice. The Church I attended several years ago also did a nice stations of the cross and a seder service during Passion Week which I really appreciated.

 

[TheLittleLady]

One of the interesting things about the Stations of the Cross is there is no “Official” set of meditations/prayers.

The most moving Stations I ever participated in was at an art gallery downtown. The priest could not make it at the last minute and asked me to lead in his stead. He had chosen, for this secular/non-denominational setting, a set of meditations that focused on Social Justice issues. I gave up fighting back the tears watching people from every walk of life kneel on that hard gallery floor. Got misty just now remembering it.

I sort of collect various booklets of SOTC meditations.

 

[Hodos]

One of the interesting things about the Stations of the Cross is there is no “Official” set of meditations/prayers.

The most moving Stations I ever participated in was at an art gallery downtown. The priest could not make it at the last minute and asked me to lead in his stead. He had chosen, for this secular/non-denominational setting, a set of meditations that focused on Social Justice issues. I gave up fighting back the tears watching people from every walk of life kneel on that hard gallery floor. Got misty just now remembering it.

I sort of collect various booklets of SOTC meditations.

We usually drive through Amarillo, Texas, out to visit my parents every year. On the outskirts of Amarillo they have what is supposed to be a really cool stations of the cross set up by the highway. We are planning on checking that out on our way out to visit my folks next summer.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I have a photograph of one of those Stations in my office

 

[adgloriam]

I have never attended Protestant service that seemed “disrespectful.” You’re taking your own personal reaction and trying to assign it to “Catholics in general.”

Here’s a protestant pastor comparing Our Lady to a Coca-Cola bottle. There are thousands of videos like this @angel12, during religious service, and even in the US with numerous faithful in the assembly.

 

[TC3033]

So “thousands of videos” make up what percent of all the non-Catholic services across the US? I’ve never been to a mon-Catholic service that has been disrespectful to Catholics…heck, my Catholic wife likes services at my church.

However: “I” have been called a woman user in her church because I’m not Catholic. I’m told not to lump every church in with this one because there’s many others where non-Catholics are very welcome…so I try not to.

 

[adgloriam]

so I try not to.

so I don’t. facts remain.

 

[adgloriam]

Anti-Catholicism in the United States - Wikipedia

 

[Juan]

I think this thread has now gone a bit off-topic.

 

[adgloriam]

@Juan this time the answer is actually relatively simple:

Go read Saint Paul Song of Love in Corinthians 1:13. “Love bears all”. That’s all you need brother in Christ. Your wife is not on the side of justice, she is not right. And the best: leave it unaddressed. Don’t get tricked going down the road of “ecumenical dialogue” because it really is a loosing battle since everything indicates your wife won’t be able to handle it at this point in time. Talking about the faith, seems to push her into polemics, intolerance, short temper, irritation (that is not love as the song of love describers it).

Your wife does seem to be having serious problems handling the situation. Since you are more calm about it, don’t let it irritate you, don’t loose hope and don’t loose composure. You have to be patient, circumvent it, do not get draw into it.

Our Lord’s only commandment is that we love Him and love each other. You have your work cut out for you. God bless.

 

[TC3033]

What facts…? You’d rather believe that all non-Catholic churches are like one from the video rather than go with that they’re the vocal minority?

It’s like I said before, my wife’s Catholic parish is very pointed at non-Catholics to the point they can (and have) said some mean untrue things.

I’d rather try to believe there’s some “misinformed apples” there rather than that parish speaks for all Catholics. That attitude was fostered by speaking to other Catholics on this board, along with my in-laws.

 

[adgloriam]

You’d rather believe

Stop attributing “beliefs” to me.

What facts…?

Those in plain sight.

I don’t take parts for the whole, neither do I selectively overlook parts. [I’ve seen and lived plenty examples of the varying experiences referred here. From those peaceful to those conflicting, going both ways. Some of my best friends are staunch anti-catholic bigots still our friendship remains. And at times I wasn’t able to be any better than them. I’m sorry if you had some bad experiences yourself, but don’t pretend to invalidate the existence of anti-catholic bigotry in certain protestant denominations/communities, in my experience it’s been -regrettably- rather common. And at times, like I said, I wasn’t able to be any better than them.]

 

[TC3033]

Stop attributing “beliefs” to me.

OK…so what word would you use? I said I try not to lump a whole due to the actions of a minority, you disagreed and said you don’t.

I don’t take parts for the whole,

Then why, did you disagree with me when I said I try not to lump in every Catholic church with the experiences I had. By disagreeing with me…that pretty much exactly what you’re saying.

but don’t pretend to invalidate the existence of anti-catholic bigotry in certain protestant denominations/communities,

Who’s doing that…?

in my experience it’s been -regrettably- rather common.

Sorry to hear that, in my experience (and from what it sounds like from others up thread) it’s rather uncommon.

In my experience it can be common to hear bigoted things said about non-Catholics at my wife’s Catholic church, but it sounds like that may be pretty uncommon as a whole; so I personally I’m trying not to judge Catholicism as a whole off the experiences I’ve had across two parishes since getting married.

 

[adgloriam]

Hey @TC3033, thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.

We have really different personal experiences. I lived in countries that are 50%/50% catholic/protestant and never felt any bigotry one way or the other. I lived in countries where every other protestant meeting me was pro-active at picking a discussion (and some left their mark).

It’s a pitfall to comment on common/frequent, I can only talk from personal experience.

CAF is actually a good example, here we can verify daily all cases mentioned. In a way you are also right, I have found some Lutherans, Anglicans and Protestants here on CAF and never seen them have any attitude that wasn’t well balanced and commendable (those being discreet aren’t as visible). But, also, since the day I joined one particular anti-Marian CAF’er seems to follow me around…And I recon we’ve grown used to each other, in a strange antagonistic sort of way

Those Catholics you mention giving you a hard time, they have a lot of space for growth. I wish you the best with patience and meekness that you will certainly need with them.

God bless.