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Catholic Question Column: My Problem--the Fourth Commandment Says Honor Your Father and Mother, But My Father Is Not an Honorable Man
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phil19034
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you can honor your father without liking what he does or even liking him as a person.
you can still respect him as a person and that he is your father. but that doesn’t mean you have to spend time with him.
you can still respect him as a person and that he is your father. but that doesn’t mean you have to spend time with him.
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puzzledtoo
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Hello,
Try putting yourself in your father’s shoes. Maybe you know something of his upbringing and what he has gone through from very early up until now. Would you behave any differently than how he has over the years or would you behave similarly to how he has lived his life given the same “crosses” to bear that he was given?
When we do this practice we can begin to see someone in a different light, possibly a little more compassionately. Stay safe.
Try putting yourself in your father’s shoes. Maybe you know something of his upbringing and what he has gone through from very early up until now. Would you behave any differently than how he has over the years or would you behave similarly to how he has lived his life given the same “crosses” to bear that he was given?
When we do this practice we can begin to see someone in a different light, possibly a little more compassionately. Stay safe.
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truthquester
Guest
I too have asked myself that question many times. Neither one of my parents are honorable people, I had to come to terms with the fact that honor doesn’t necessarily mean obey or follow them in their ways or give in to temper tantrums.
If their ways are wrong, you have to honor your Father in heaven first and that way you cannot be accused of any wrong doing and I am sure that He doesn’t want for you to be mislead by anybody, not even you Dad.
If their ways are wrong, you have to honor your Father in heaven first and that way you cannot be accused of any wrong doing and I am sure that He doesn’t want for you to be mislead by anybody, not even you Dad.
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SAVINGRACE
Guest
That’s where forgiveness on your part comes in. Now this may be very difficult to do depending on the dishonorable nature of the behaviour.
Msgr. M. Francis Mannion says:
**"Young children are very impressionable and likely to draw conclusions from what they are taught that are unwarranted and unintended.
The Fourth Commandment – in the context of the other commandments and, indeed, the whole Bible and the Catholic moral tradition – implies that to be honored parents must first of all be honorable and upstanding.
There is nothing that states or implies that children must yield to and honor the behavior of parents who act dishonorably. Teachers and catechists must always make that point clear in an age-appropriate way.
Balance, subtlety and wisdom in catechesis and in the general nurturing of children are the keys to avoiding problems here."**
Msgr. M. Francis Mannion says:
**"Young children are very impressionable and likely to draw conclusions from what they are taught that are unwarranted and unintended.
The Fourth Commandment – in the context of the other commandments and, indeed, the whole Bible and the Catholic moral tradition – implies that to be honored parents must first of all be honorable and upstanding.
There is nothing that states or implies that children must yield to and honor the behavior of parents who act dishonorably. Teachers and catechists must always make that point clear in an age-appropriate way.
Balance, subtlety and wisdom in catechesis and in the general nurturing of children are the keys to avoiding problems here."**
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ynotzap
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That’s all the more reason that he needs your love. All of us come into this world handicapped spiritually, and this has everything to do with our personalities. If it wasn’t for God’s grace, there go I. Do not honor him for his ways, but that he is a child of God needing spiritual help, and by God’s providence he is your father. To love those that hate you, or are mean to you, is required of every Christian. Sometimes all you can do is pray for them, but pray. Always treat him and others with respect, but don’t do as they do. I feel sad many times for these kinds of situations and the sufferings of children, if parents only knew . Remember the words of Jesus, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” and you will bring honor to him. His background may reveal some of his personal troubles and make it easier to understand why he is the way he is, perhaps he did not have an honorable father.
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