Catholic Response to Homosexuality

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Ovenbird03

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I’m a college student at one of the most gay-friendly colleges in America (I forget the ranking). Due to this fact, we have a very large “out” homosexual population and a very active gay-straight alliance club. This means that I have many homosexual acquaintences and a few close friends. God has recently won the battle against bisexuality within myself, so it is a sensitive topic for me. Homosexuality is in so many facets at this university that our Chaplain believes it is ‘horrible for religions to condemn homosexuality and horrible for homosexual people to deny how God made them and the resulting lifestyle’. She is an methodist minister who leads our ecumenical worship service and the piano player is a ‘christian’ gay man in a 10 year homosexual relationship.

Now, I’m unsure of how to act in a few situations. First of all, I’ve heard that it is a sin to keep silent about anothers sin or to encourage it. How do I response when my close friend tells me about his boyfriend? How do I respond to the chaplain? To the piano player? Should I not associate with these people? …the christians claiming homosexual lifestyles are acceptable? Do I speak up about how I feel about homosexual lifestyles (and the Catholic belief)?

On this campus these situations occur multiple times a day. I was with a gay friend at a poster sale, when I accidentally flipped through a stack that had partially or completely nude women kissing each other or laying with each other. I got angry (I’m a woman by the way) because I don’t want to see those things, my battle is hard enough. And I called that part of me I struggle with “evil”. Well the friend was extremely hurt. How do I deal with that? I told him I meant it was evil in the same way I’d say other things I don’t like (organic chemistry) are evil…but I meant it both ways.

Sorry this is so long. Any advice?

~Lauren
 
Hi Lauren 👋

How should a Catholic respond? With compassion, and, in the knowledge that God created all of us.

The major response here will enivitably be right wing. Perhaps that’s what you want to hear. Personally, I agree with the position as stated in the Catechism, however don’t think that if someone is gay, it’s my business to make assumptions about them as a person. Really their sin is between them and God. I am quite happy to talk about it and give my perspective, if asked but I would not openly seek confrontation. Ultimately this sort of behaviour is condoned by society. The minute we stop being reasonable, the minute we cease to be reasonable, compassionate; the moment we give in to anger, out message of love is lost.

If someone comes to me with guilty feelings about sexual practice- it is obvious that they see the wrong in what they are doing. If they don’t, it’s not really any of my business what they do in the bedroom (just as it is none of theirs what I do).

Just my take. God Bless

Mark.
 
Ovenbird03 said:
On this campus these situations occur multiple times a day. I was with a gay friend at a poster sale, when I accidentally flipped through a stack that had partially or completely nude women kissing each other or laying with each other. I got angry (I’m a woman by the way) because I don’t want to see those things, my battle is hard enough. And I called that part of me I struggle with “evil”. Well the friend was extremely hurt. How do I deal with that? I told him I meant it was evil in the same way I’d say other things I don’t like (organic chemistry) are evil…but I meant it both ways.

Sorry this is so long. Any advice?

~Lauren
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Lauren,

I am with you in that I find it difficult to confront others about their immoral behaviors. Homosexuality is not the only area which people find difficult to talk about. However you will find that sexual sins in general usually top the list. These can involve the use of birth control, masturbation, pornography, and many other areas. Many of us are or have been guilty one one or more and as a result feel powerless to criticize others.

But perhaps this is a good thing. Maybe we need to spend more time praying for ourselves and other sinners and less time seeking confrontation.

Thought I certainly don’t think its right to hide your opinion. If someone asks you what you think, or tries to get you to side with them in deriding someone who is “intolerant”, I think it is your duty to tell the truth and admit that you agree with the position of the Church. Also you should never attend fundraisers or show support in other ways for groups that advocate sinful behavior.

The Holy Spirit will convict all of us of our sinful behavior at some point in our lives. The less allies we have to justify our wrong actions, the less likely we will be to shut out his grace.

At least that’s my 2 cents.

Now when it comes to issues like abortion, euthanasia, ESC research, and the like I am fully in support of confrontation. These sins result in the deaths of innocent people every time they are committed. In these cases we cannot be silent. (Remember that in November!)
 
Hi–I think I came across wrong. I don’t want to be confrontational…I was more looking for advice on how to make sure my silence isn’t interpreted as agreeing with what they are doing.
 
Seek advice from those who know …

www.couragerc.net

www.narth.com

There is a reading list on the courage site.

Book recommendation-

Someone I Love is Gay bye Joe Dallas and his other books.

Books by Richard Cohen.

Find out the language you should be using and figure out how to say what you need and when to keep your mouth shut. You have a right to not be violated also. So your friends who are gay have a responsibility in friendship to you as well as you to them.Silence will always be seen as agreeing.
 
Ovenbird,

Hello and welcome to the Catholic Answers Forums. I hope you have a blessed and fruitful time here. (If you re-registered after the Great CAF Computer Crash of '06, welcome anyway, just a little late.)

The bad news is that there really isn’t any way around the Church teaching that homosexuality is intrinsically disordered and that homosexual activity is simply wrong. As such, I’m afraid that if you stick to Church teaching (which I would encourage you to do) you will probably offend a lot of people at your school. A lot of people who claim that they are looking only for tolerance (“What you are doing is wrong but it’s not my place to make you stop”) are actually looking for acceptance (“What you are doing is just fine”), and homosexual activity is not acceptable.

The good news is that there is a lot more to people than their sexual orientation. We all have likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests, talents and recreations. (A person who is interested only in sex is incredibly messed up, no matter in what direction this interest may be.) Most friendships–almost all friendships, actually–are built on something besides sex.

The bottom line is that if and when the subject comes up, you cannot just “go along with the flow” because would indeed indicate approval. You don’t have to raise the subject, though; in general, what other people do in private is none of your or my business. But if they ask you for your approval of their activity you should not give it.

Have you considered going to a different school?
  • Liberian
 
Ovenbird03 said:
God wants me there.
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Private revelation is meant to be just that. Private. Presumably if God wants you there, then He has also revealed to you what method you should employ in handling this situation.

Remember that the average person with same-sex attractions tends to be a talented advocate for his or her lifestyle. I maintain that no one but exceptionally skilled apologists or doctors in the fields of psychology, psychiatry or psychoanalysis should attempt any kind of prolonged contact with individuals such as these. This is particularly relevant to you as you have issues with this disorder and might be vulnerable.

If God wants you in this admittedly impious and hedonistic environment where the risk of spiritual compromise is so great, I hope you have it clear in your head why it is that He wants you there. I would also encourage you to do a bit of soul-searching and be sure that the reasoning based on what God supposedly wants is not convenient window-dressing for what you yourself want.
 
Other_Eric said:
Private revelation is meant to be just that. Private. Presumably if God wants you there, then He has also revealed to you what method you should employ in handling this situation.
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I agree with you on private revelation when it concerns doctrine or scripture or things like that. But the Catholic Church does not have the authoritative revelation as to where I should go to college, if they did I sure would ask.
I would also encourage you to do a bit of soul-searching and be sure that the reasoning based on what God supposedly wants is not convenient window-dressing for what you yourself want.
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I personally, would rather not go to college at all. My boyfriend and I are planning to get married. (I’m 20, he’s 24, been together 3 years long distance --2 time zones away–) I’d rather just get married right now and homeschool whatever children God blesses me with. However, that’s not God’s plan. He’s shown me that college (for me) is not about learning my subjects and getting a degree, it’s more of an intense character building experience. It’s easy to follow God when you aren’t met with resistence, but you also don’t grow that way.
 
Ovenbird03 said:
…

Sorry this is so long. Any advice?

~Lauren
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I would reccommend reading Catholics who have experienced the same struggle. These are mostly blogs but there are links within to articles as well.

Eve Tushnet has recently discussed gay identity (and linked to by Mark Shea and Amy Welborn). She also has link to teh left for “Resources on God and homosexuality”, including another one to read from Ron Belgau as well as Dreadnought and David Morrison. There’s another one by a woman but apparently I didn’t save it to favorites after having open in one of my tabs last weekend.

I don’t have anything particularly good to suggest here. You will probably win some and lose some no matter what you do. Unless you affirm that being gay is “source and summit of all goodness”* then you might get spit on, maybe even literally. I guess I would strive for this: had struggled with in their own lives.*they *

*borrowed line from Mark Shea
 
Eve also says here
Some thoughts: First, it’s very clear to me that Catholic teaching is much *more *affirming of my worth as a person than I might be on my own. Unlike me, Catholic dogma is not moody. It just keeps saying, day after day, that all people are made in the image of God, and that all our failures and cruelties can’t take that away.
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I love that: Catholic dogma is not moody.
 
Remember that here are those of us who had no experience with the homosexual community and still developed a homosexual or bisexual orientation. The last one needs to hear is that they are going to hell when sometimes they feel they are already there. While I agree with the dangers of homosexual behavior I see no problem with an orientation that may or may not be able to be changed. Let the mercy of God reach the person where they are at. I’m just not convinced that one is never born with an innate attraction one way or the other. While one is not born itno a behavior the attraction may be as inborn as whether the heterosexual male prefers blondes or brunettes. If this is not in line with church teaching I apologize but it goes against my better thinking to believe that one needs to be subject ridicule simply because of who they find attractive.
 
Homosexuality very well may be genetic…but disease is also genetic. If you were born with cancer would you just be like “oh that’s how God made me so I won’t change it” or would you try to fix it? In the same way homosexuality, I don’t care HOW it happens to you, you still can’t live the lifestyle and be faithful to God.

For all else–I decided to just not smile or anything when I heard about the homosexual relations…this was picked up on and I explained that I didn’t dislike him or his bf, but that I didn’t approve of the lifestyle.
 
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