Catholic Reverts, help me out

[anthonymarie]

I’m a convert to Catholicism. I believed all of it just like they teach it here at Catholic Answers. I even embraced NFP, Latin Mass, Creationism… all of it… I really became a full blown Traditionalist. I even considered joining SSPX for a while until I decided they were in error.

But now, I think I’ve lost my faith.

This is very recent.

My main reason for posting this thread is to ask: Are there any Catholics out there that have gone from Orthodox Catholicism to Atheist and then BACK to Catholicism again (whether it resulted in orthodox or even heterdox Catholicism, I don’t care so much - I just want to know if anyone has gone BACK and how they brought themselves back there.)

I’m interested in talking to someone who has been through the whole “de-conversion” process and still somehow found a way back. I’m not looking for someone who was nominally Catholic, then something else, and then later in life reverted to the faith.

Back story: As a teenager I de-converted from a cult-like Christian sect. I left that to Atheism. Years later, after reading Lee Strobel’s the Case for Christ, and digging through Christian history, I found Catholicism. I’ve recently de-converted. The process is familiar to me because it’s my second time doing it, so although it’s heart-wrenching and terrifying, I’m not in as bad shape as I was when it first happened to me many years ago. But I still don’t like it. I rather be Christian, especially Catholic. But I also rather believe things because they’re true, not because I like them. I’m very aware of this confirmation bias, so I’m very careful not to embrace something unless I’m convinced of it. Right now I’m not convinced of anything.

This has never happened to me to but it happened to a close friend of mine. He was an atheist, became a Catholic, went full trad, lost his faith and then came back again (he says because he couldn’t stay away). Actually I’ve gone through very painful periods of my faith and wanted to leave but never had the heart to do it.

I’ve also met a handful of people who went quite trad and then became disillusioned with the faith. I think it is because (I say this very tentatively) traditionalism is often phrased in so negative terms. For example, “look at what we’ve lost” instead of “look at what we’ve somehow managed to retain”. It wears you down after a while.

 

[D0UBTFIRE]

I really enjoyed reading through your stories!

Thank you all for being honest, and not preachy. In other threads I’ve had people tell me “don’t listen to the scientist!” and “just pray!” - which drives me bonkers. LOL

From your stories I gather that Catholicism is a way for you to become a better person, the core of the message is Love, the message gives comfort by telling us who we are and why we’re here…

In short, all the things I LOVE about this religion!!!

You also made me think “what if it is true?” which is the other side of the coin I’ve been tossing around (“maybe it’s not true”)…

You leave me doubting my doubt.

Like someone said, Atheism does make a lot of sense. That’s what gets me … I think a lot of belief systems make a lot of sense. Especially if you study them from direct sources. Which is what makes me weary right now…is Catholicism a “closed belief system”? I’m not sure, I think it is… you can google the definition but I think I’m going to start a new thread on that topic.

Thanks everyone.

 

[JRKH]

You are welcome Doubtfire…

One of the things that I discerned many years ago - before I returned to the faith - was this idea of love being central. As I moved forward this became my measure…any belief system that had love of God and love of neighbor at its’ core, needed to be looked at with respect.

Peace
James

 

[guanophore]

I don’t wish to give personal details but I will say that you must persist in prayer and don’t be too into the ‘club scene’ Christianity. Seek to be small and nothing - God rewards the humble and those that don’t go around proudly thinking they are better than others. To pray is in part to admit that we are weak and in need. Sometimes God does test the faith by turning His face away a fraction and the only thing to do is to keep praying. To pray even when God ‘feels’ distant shows trust, a trust which He is looking for, and He knows we have the potential to give Him.

Don’t just give up.

I was just thinking similarly Friar. Reading the OP for some reason made me think of Mother Teresa, and her long periods of dryness and not being able to sense the presence of God. She persisted in prayer and service, in what God had revealed to her as true, despite her own feelings and perceptions.

One of the most critical elements of perseverance is the obedience of faith - doing what we are commanded when our hearts and minds may be elsewhere.

 

[friardchips]

I was just thinking similarly Friar. Reading the OP for some reason made me think of Mother Teresa, and her long periods of dryness and not being able to sense the presence of God. She persisted in prayer and service, in what God had revealed to her as true, despite her own feelings and perceptions.

One of the most critical elements of perseverance is the obedience of faith - doing what we are commanded when our hearts and minds may be elsewhere.

Dear guanophore, you don’t realise what your post has just done for me! I have had this issue all day today and I am now going to read over this post and get the message firmly embedded into my head. It is sometimes easy to give advice but not always to adhere to it so this is much needed and amazingly well-timed!

Thank you!

 

[friardchips]

I was just thinking similarly Friar.

‘Friard’, sorry! - a cross between ‘fried’ and ‘friar’ (‘friar’: no, not yet anyway). God bless.

 

[guanophore]

I really enjoyed reading through your stories!

Thank you all for being honest, and not preachy. In other threads I’ve had people tell me “don’t listen to the scientist!” and “just pray!” - which drives me bonkers. LOL

From your stories I gather that Catholicism is a way for you to become a better person, the core of the message is Love, the message gives comfort by telling us who we are and why we’re here…

In short, all the things I LOVE about this religion!!!

You also made me think “what if it is true?” which is the other side of the coin I’ve been tossing around (“maybe it’s not true”)…

You leave me doubting my doubt.

Like someone said, Atheism does make a lot of sense. That’s what gets me … I think a lot of belief systems make a lot of sense. Especially if you study them from direct sources. Which is what makes me weary right now…is Catholicism a “closed belief system”? I’m not sure, I think it is… you can google the definition but I think I’m going to start a new thread on that topic.

Thanks everyone.

Have you ever read the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis? Gave me a whole new persepctive on my doubts.