Catholic reverts-how did u do it?

[AnneTeresa]

I started attending catholic church a year ago again. I was raised catholic and left after having a conversion experience, then was catholic/protestant in parts over the years.

Other reverts, how do you deal with not agreeing with everything in the catholic church (probably from not understanding it fully yet)?

Converts go through a long RCIA process and they get to make a choice, but we who were born catholic and then returned, there seems to be less tolerance of our growing in our understanding. We are just supposed to “get it” all now because we are catholic.

The more I study, the more confused I seem to get. What was your experience? Did you “get it all” at once or was it a slow journey? I guess I just really need to know that I’m not the only one struggling as a revert.

 

[achmafooma]

Hello, Anne Teresa!

I can’t speak from experience (as a life-long Protestant who converted), but at our Parish we usually encourage people in your position to go through the RCIA program to learn about the faith. I’m coordinating the program at my parish and we have a good mix of Protestant converts, non-Christian converts, and returning Catholics.

Many returning Catholics need just as much guidance and learning about the faith as catechumens and candidates, and we want to provide all three groups with a good forum to learn, study, and ask questions together. In fact, this year we even have two practicing Catholics (who never left) participating in the classes because they wanted a ‘refresher.’ We try to be open and accommodating to anybody who is interested.

I can’t speak for your home parish, but I would hope they can accommodate you either in the RCIA program, or maybe in another adult religious education program. I would encourage you to discuss it with your pastor, or your parish’s RCIA director, and see what they can do. Nobody should expect you to just ‘get it’ if you’ve never had the opportunity to learn it!

God bless you in your return to the Church. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Even the most devout, knowledgeable Catholic still learns something new about the faith all the time!

 

[Barbkw]

You’ll need to be more specific as to what you don’t agree with.

 

[raaucoin]

I disagreed with the Church on all of the usual- artificial birth control, no women priest, no homosexual activity, no abortion even in rape etc. By accident (yeah right!) I came across John Paul II’s Book: Male and Female He made them: A theology of the Body.

Before reading, I came back to church with an attitude of “even though I disagree, I’ll submit.”
As I read that book I moved from submitting to Church Teaching to embracing and falling in love with it. The book answered all of the “Whys” that were never properly explained to me.

 

[The_Wizard]

I found that the teachings with which I disgreed were the ones I did not fully understand. As I learned more about the teachings I began to see the truth in those teachings. For me it is all about authority. I liken it to speed limits. I might not agree with the speed limit on Powers Blvd but the city has the authority to set it. Having free will I can go the speed limit and be ticket free or ignore the limit and suffer the consequences.

 

[bearer]

It was easy for me. The more I read Sacred Scripture and studied the Catechism, the more I realized that my personal values were in line with the teachings of the Magisterium. I didn’t let politics get in the way.

And although there were some things I had liked to do that the Church teaches are sinful, I put Christ first. You don’t necessarily have to want to do what He and His Church teaches–you just do them.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I was so grateful to God that He was right beside me all the time I was wandering in the desert of agnosticism/paganism/witchcraft/Buddhism/nothing, that I surrendered my own mind and will to that of His Church. However, believing and living the Catholic way were 2 different things for a long time. Especially since my husband had no such reversion and was still very antagonistic to the Church, and quite confused about what had happened to his unbelieving wife to send her back to the Catholic Church that we had both left years before. I had not been burdened with anger toward the Church as my husband has, so returning felt like coming home to me. (He still is antagonistic, and lets me know it as often as he can. Yet he dislikes being labeled an atheist. Oh well.)

I have large gaps in my knowledge of Catholicism, and I haven’t raised my sons to be as solid in their devotion as I would like. I was always dancing around my husband’s threshold of being a Catholic family, and it was inhibiting to me. I have tried to give them as much as I had without making it plain to them that their father is not participating. I expect that some day, one of them will recognize this, maybe after they have their own children.

Sometimes I feel that I don’t deserve the mercy I’ve been given, and that I am a fraud of a Catholic. I’ve actually learned a lot from this forum, things I didn’t recognize as sin, obligations I really didn’t know that I had. I missed 20 years of catechism so I ask God for His forgiveness every day.

I hope I answered your question, OP.

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

I started attending catholic church a year ago again. I was raised catholic and left after having a conversion experience, then was catholic/protestant in parts over the years.

Other reverts, how do you deal with not agreeing with everything in the catholic church (probably from not understanding it fully yet)?

Converts go through a long RCIA process and they get to make a choice, but we who were born catholic and then returned, there seems to be less tolerance of our growing in our understanding. We are just supposed to “get it” all now because we are catholic.

The more I study, the more confused I seem to get. What was your experience? Did you “get it all” at once or was it a slow journey? I guess I just really need to know that I’m not the only one struggling as a revert.

I understand exactly what you are going through. I am a revert of about 3 years now. I was in the protestant churches for 12 years. When I first came back I didn’t understand a lot. I couldn’t figure out the why’s of alot of things. There is a lot of anti-catholc teaching out in the protestant churches, mostly because they don’t know or understand the Catholic church either. It takes a while and study to come to fully understand, believe and know that the teachings of the Catholic church are true and correct.

I would suggest like the other poster is to look and see about an RCIA or in our area some of the Catholic churches have what is called Remembering and that is becoming big and is for people who are returning.

I would also suggest some Catechism books. Some that I like were the New Saint Joseph Baltimore catechism. They are meant for young people but if you start out with like #2, it would work very well. Another one is Mass and the Sacraments by John Laux. I have a teenage son and we have gone through these books after we returned. He either reads to us in the car on the way to school or I read to him at the breakfast table and I have come to learn and understand a lot of the reasons the Catholic churches teaches and does and is what it is through these. This forum is great help also.

One more suggestion is a book that is very popular right now and I am reading myself, it is very good. Rediscover Catholicism.

When I first was returning it was hard, I would stop and start, stop and start. So many times I would start a rosary and then stop or pick something up to read and then stop but as I learned little by little I grew closer to God and his Church and now I know there is no other place to be and over 3 years ago I would never have dreamed I would have said that but now I know it is true.

I hope and pray you don’t give up but continue in your prayers and seeking God. Remember God always has his best in mind for us so just like parenting, when we are young we don’t always understand why they do what they do but it is always done out of love because they know what is right for us.

During the early years of my return and when feeling very confused one night I told God I felt very confused and ask for help and he led me to this prayer. I hope it may be of some help for you.

St. Francis’ Prayer Before the Crucifix
Most High
glorious God,
enlighten the darkness
of my heart.
Give me
right faith,
sure hope
and perfect charity.
Fill me with understanding
and knowledge
that I may fulfill
your command.

Blessings to you.

 

[JRKH]

I started attending catholic church a year ago again. I was raised catholic and left after having a conversion experience, then was catholic/protestant in parts over the years.

Welcome home

Other reverts, how do you deal with not agreeing with everything in the catholic church (probably from not understanding it fully yet)?

I trust the Church more than my own abilities. I study as the spirit moves me in areas that either a) interest me, or b) directly effect my walk with Christ.
I do not try to “get it” all at once either.
as to “agreeing” or not…In a sense I do neither. I refuse to reject (disagree) with Church teaching but neither do I necessarily embrace (agree - defend - incorporate) certain teachings. Of course this will vary depending on the particular issue

Converts go through a long RCIA process and they get to make a choice, but we who were born catholic and then returned, there seems to be less tolerance of our growing in our understanding. We are just supposed to “get it” all now because we are catholic.

If others treat you that way then that is their problem not yours. You just keep on walking with Christ, studying and learning at the pace you are comfortable with.

The more I study, the more confused I seem to get. What was your experience? Did you “get it all” at once or was it a slow journey? I guess I just really need to know that I’m not the only one struggling as a revert.

This is not at all unusual. The Church has many riches.
I can’t respond more deeply right now but perhaps later…

Peace
James

 

[AnneTeresa]

Hello, Anne Teresa!

I can’t speak from experience (as a life-long Protestant who converted), but at our Parish we usually encourage people in your position to go through the RCIA program to learn about the faith. I’m coordinating the program at my parish and we have a good mix of Protestant converts, non-Christian converts, and returning Catholics.

Many returning Catholics need just as much guidance and learning about the faith as catechumens and candidates, and we want to provide all three groups with a good forum to learn, study, and ask questions together. In fact, this year we even have two practicing Catholics (who never left) participating in the classes because they wanted a ‘refresher.’ We try to be open and accommodating to anybody who is interested.

I can’t speak for your home parish, but I would hope they can accommodate you either in the RCIA program, or maybe in another adult religious education program. I would encourage you to discuss it with your pastor, or your parish’s RCIA director, and see what they can do. Nobody should expect you to just ‘get it’ if you’ve never had the opportunity to learn it!

God bless you in your return to the Church. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Even the most devout, knowledgeable Catholic still learns something new about the faith all the time!

Thank you for your kindness. My priest didn’t think RCIA was needed and I think perhaps my questions go deeper than the RCIA curriculum. But I do know some general classes in another parish that I might check into.

 

[AnneTeresa]

I understand exactly what you are going through. I am a revert of about 3 years now. I was in the protestant churches for 12 years. When I first came back I didn’t understand a lot. I couldn’t figure out the why’s of alot of things. There is a lot of anti-catholc teaching out in the protestant churches, mostly because they don’t know or understand the Catholic church either. It takes a while and study to come to fully understand, believe and know that the teachings of the Catholic church are true and correct.

I would suggest like the other poster is to look and see about an RCIA or in our area some of the Catholic churches have what is called Remembering and that is becoming big and is for people who are returning.

I would also suggest some Catechism books. Some that I like were the New Saint Joseph Baltimore catechism. They are meant for young people but if you start out with like #2, it would work very well. Another one is Mass and the Sacraments by John Laux. I have a teenage son and we have gone through these books after we returned. He either reads to us in the car on the way to school or I read to him at the breakfast table and I have come to learn and understand a lot of the reasons the Catholic churches teaches and does and is what it is through these. This forum is great help also.

One more suggestion is a book that is very popular right now and I am reading myself, it is very good. Rediscover Catholicism.

When I first was returning it was hard, I would stop and start, stop and start. So many times I would start a rosary and then stop or pick something up to read and then stop but as I learned little by little I grew closer to God and his Church and now I know there is no other place to be and over 3 years ago I would never have dreamed I would have said that but now I know it is true.

I hope and pray you don’t give up but continue in your prayers and seeking God. Remember God always has his best in mind for us so just like parenting, when we are young we don’t always understand why they do what they do but it is always done out of love because they know what is right for us.

During the early years of my return and when feeling very confused one night I told God I felt very confused and ask for help and he led me to this prayer. I hope it may be of some help for you.

St. Francis’ Prayer Before the Crucifix
Most High
glorious God,
enlighten the darkness
of my heart.
Give me
right faith,
sure hope
and perfect charity.
Fill me with understanding
and knowledge
that I may fulfill
your command.

Blessings to you.

Thank you so much. It so helps to hear it was hard for someone else too. I really need prayer right now, thank you. I pray every day to have more clarity but I still have some really hard spots on some days.

I have Rediscover Catholicism, guess it’s time to pull it out and read it.

 

[AnneTeresa]

It was easy for me. The more I read Sacred Scripture and studied the Catechism, the more I realized that my personal values were in line with the teachings of the Magisterium. I didn’t let politics get in the way.

And although there were some things I had liked to do that the Church teaches are sinful, I put Christ first. You don’t necessarily have to want to do what He and His Church teaches–you just do them.

Thank you for answering. I believe I put Christ first but I have a hard in trusting the church. I almost feel ill when I say “I will just do this” when in my heart I do not agree with it. It feels horrible and wrong.

 

[AnneTeresa]

I disagreed with the Church on all of the usual- artificial birth control, no women priest, no homosexual activity, no abortion even in rape etc. By accident (yeah right!) I came across John Paul II’s Book: Male and Female He made them: A theology of the Body.

Before reading, I came back to church with an attitude of “even though I disagree, I’ll submit.”
As I read that book I moved from submitting to Church Teaching to embracing and falling in love with it. The book answered all of the “Whys” that were never properly explained to me.

Wow, I’m so glad that all your why’s were answered. Maybe in a million years I’ll be able to say that too.

 

[Ceil-1]

I read a little book called “The Seeker’s Catechism”. By the time I was done with the book I realized that God made the Church the boss, and it was their (Church authorities) problem to work out the details. My job was to do what I was told.

Somehow, it came as a big relief to me. Over time, as I learned about the Faith, especially through reading the lives of the saints, it became a “no, duh” thing. It’s all about authority. We have to trust God to know what he’s doing.

 

[AnneTeresa]

Sometimes I feel that I don’t deserve the mercy I’ve been given, and that I am a fraud of a Catholic. I’ve actually learned a lot from this forum, things I didn’t recognize as sin, obligations I really didn’t know that I had. I missed 20 years of catechism so I ask God for His forgiveness every day.

I hope I answered your question, OP.

Juliane, yes, we are so blessed to have his mercy. When I get caught up in the rules I forget that. My hb didn’t want to come back to church with me either but he did so reluctantly. Now he prays the rosary, goes to adoration, and Bible study with me. He asked me yesterday about Divine Mercy and asked me to send him a link. It is amazing to watch. Keep praying for your hb. Miracles happen.

ps Oh, and he also now makes the sign of the cross and prays before meals in restaurants. Which is good for me because I tend to be more embarassed of it in public. But he said to me that he puts up with all kinds of things he disagrees with in public so other people are just going to have to put up with his praying. (off topic, I know lol)

 

[AnneTeresa]

I read a little book called “The Seeker’s Catechism”. By the time I was done with the book I realized that God made the Church the boss, and it was their (Church authorities) problem to work out the details. My job was to do what I was told.

Somehow, it came as a big relief to me. Over time, as I learned about the Faith, especially through reading the lives of the saints, it became a “no, duh” thing. It’s all about authority. We have to trust God to know what he’s doing.

Wow, I wish I could get where you are. Please pray for me.

 

[LittleDavid]

Frankly, I find it very hard to accept some of what the Catholic Church teaches(and I didn’t know much of what it did teach until viewing this website). One example would be, “why were women forbidden to sing in church until 1916”, and then suddenly it was OK. (source=Corpus Iuris Canonici 1234-1916) You can accept any teaching if you say, “the church is always right.”
It’s kind of like Jehovah’s Witnesses. They accept what ever their “Governing Body” says because they are the “anointed”…the “faithful and discreet slave” mentioned in the Bible. When you question the fact that they have predicted the second coming of Christ SIXTEEN times, they say that they are constantly receiving, “New Light” in reguards to the scriptures. In other words…“they are always right”.
The doctrine of Papal Infallibility(which wasn’t always a belief of the Catholic Church) basically does the same thing.

 

[jmoneyideas]

I am just starting my journey into the church as well. I have left my Non Denom(anti Catholic) church and decided that I want to know the Truth. I am going to be attending RCIA classes and really rooting my feet into my local Parrish.

Me not being Catholic and just a baby in my walk with Christ have a hard time understanding how people can move so far away from the church. I hear this term a bit “hurt by the Church” and I don’t really totally understand it ? Is this one reason why so many people leave and become ANTI catholic. I for one am so excited about my newly corrected path and feel that My FAITH is going to be So much more stronger than ever. God bless and to the OP keep praying and asking God for Guidance, Its the same thing I did that started me asking questions and researching the Church that has me heading toward this new Direction.

 

[pablope]

Thank you for your kindness. My priest didn’t think RCIA was needed and I think perhaps my questions go deeper than the RCIA curriculum. But I do know some general classes in another parish that I might check into.

Check the parishes in your area if they have Bible studies, prayer meetings, activities that deepen your faith.

Check on activities like serving meals to the homeless once a month, bringing communion to the sick…these would help you, one way or the other.

And you can use the forums here for questions or concerns.

God bless.

 

[JustaServant]

I started attending catholic church a year ago again. I was raised catholic and left after having a conversion experience, then was catholic/protestant in parts over the years.

Other reverts, how do you deal with not agreeing with everything in the catholic church (probably from not understanding it fully yet)?

Converts go through a long RCIA process and they get to make a choice, but we who were born catholic and then returned, there seems to be less tolerance of our growing in our understanding. We are just supposed to “get it” all now because we are catholic.

The more I study, the more confused I seem to get. What was your experience? Did you “get it all” at once or was it a slow journey? I guess I just really need to know that I’m not the only one struggling as a revert.

I am a product of the “touchy feely spirit of Vatican 2” Catholic education of the seventies. A clue as to why I left for twenty years.
Every truth I learned about the Catholic Church I learned while still outside the Church. When I returned to the Church, I brought my wife and daughter with me. I attended their RCIA classes and was a little amazed that we knew more about Catholic dogma than the nun who was teaching it.
I was a good boy though and kept my mouth shut.