Catholic School not a choice

[SilverLight]

This is personal and happened to me.

I was raised Catholic and still consider myself to be. When I was younger my mother looked at our churches school for me to go to. I need to add here that I am Dyslexic and also have ADD however the ADD is not really important here. My mother asked if the school would be a good fit for me and from what I remember her telling me the nun actually said it might not be. I needed to be in a small class where the teacher would be able to go around and help each student if they needed it.

I ended up going to a lovely Quaker school that was for children with learning disabilities. I would not be where I am today and getting ready to finish college if it was not for that school. The Quaker school had some good moral teachings also such as accepting people for who they are and had a non violence policy type of thing also. We learned how to handle problems in a civil manner and we were just kids.

A year or so ago I heard from another Catholic that their parents would not have considered a school such as that because it was not Christian or something along those lines. This made me sad and wonder why parents would do such a thing when their child would need the help that such a school could offer.

I’m curious what other people think of this and would like to hear what you have to say. However I would like people to keep conversations civil.

Thank you

 

[Kelfa28]

Your parents did what was, clearly, best for you.

Plenty of devote Catholic parents will do what they can because they want what is best for their children.

There are a wide range of reasons why Catholic school or even home school would not be a good fit…despite the arguments that these two choices are “the best” or even the only option that Catholic parents should consider when it comes to education and faith formation.

Special needs, finances, and availability are just a few reasons why not every Catholic child can attend a Catholic school or can be home schooled.

My kids are going to a Catholic school because we know it’s what is best for our children.

I’ve been questioned and even ridiculed for not considering home school…especially if something happens and we can’t afford it.

Nowhere in the Catholic Catechism does it say exactly how we need to educate our children…it gives suggestions but we aren’t wrong for weighing our options and picking out what works for our children the best.

For some parents…public school is the best option and that should be okay and not ripped apart by people I’d consider holier than thou.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

This is personal and happened to me.

…

A year or so ago I heard from another Catholic that their parents would not have considered a school such as that because it was not Christian or something along those lines

…

Thank you

Quakers traditionally don’t have much of a fixed theology. While there have been phases in some countries of Quakers being near-orthodox (if you see what I mean for the sake of argument) there have been phases of them apparently being a bit New-Agey and all shades in between.

Maybe your acquaintances rather than keeping their brains in gear and thanking God for providing you with such a good education (I didn’t go to a Catholic school either), got hung up on a side issue.

Some people get so miserable when God breaks their rules!

 

[midori]

Public schools aren’t Christian, either, but plenty of Catholics send their kids to them. I used to live in a really gang-y school district during my junior high/high school years. The local Catholic school stopped at grade 6.

Our solution was to homeschool my last four years of high school, but a friend of mine went to the local private Baptist school for high school. She hated it-- I can’t remember the details, just the generic sentiment of, “It’s supposed to be a Christian school, but the people [students/teachers/etc] there are so un-Christian.”

So just because a school is nominally aligned with a particular faith, or a particular religion is painted on their sign, doesn’t necessarily mean it propagates those values. It all comes down to the administrators, how they hire, what they actively encourage, and what they allow.

Taking some of the Texan universities I have experience with, for example-- Baylor is very much steeped in its Baptist foundations. Texas Christian University [Disciples of Christ] and Texas Wesleyan, not at all.

 

[Sugabee43]

As a parent, if this was the best fit for you, I would have done it. I WISH that we could have afforded the local Catholic school for our kids. I really believe that it would have made a difference in the way our oldest’s life has turned out. He started associating himself with some unsavory boys from our neighborhood/school, and this has led him to a life of non-stop partying and unmet potential. I realize that EVERY school, whether religious-based or not, has a seedy element, but I really believe if he had been steeped in his faith and around his “Church friends” more than his neighborhood friends, it would have made a big difference.

One of my biggest beefs with the Catholic Church is that they are so focused on outreach ministry that it is neglected their own children. Why do we pay millions of dollars to ministries when some families cannot afford to educate their children in Catholic schools? I also firmly believe that if we spent the money as a Church to pay for Catholic educations for all of our children, we’d have a much smaller problem with a lack of vocations.

 

[1990Domer]

Well, I can actually comment about a special needs Quaker school my son attended. Sadly, it wasn’t a good fit because it went away from their core mission and started taking behaviorally challenged kids. If it was a good fit, I would have eye-browed the school because of their over emphasis on Earth worship and yelling at my son for not saying the proper grace before meals.

However, the Catholic school wasn’t either. This is why I am here putting my child through another grueling set of neuropsych tests for his cyber school.

Right now, life pretty much stinks.

 

[Casilda]

This is personal and happened to me.

I was raised Catholic and still consider myself to be. When I was younger my mother looked at our churches school for me to go to. I need to add here that I am Dyslexic and also have ADD however the ADD is not really important here. My mother asked if the school would be a good fit for me and from what I remember her telling me the nun actually said it might not be. I needed to be in a small class where the teacher would be able to go around and help each student if they needed it.

I ended up going to a lovely Quaker school that was for children with learning disabilities. I would not be where I am today and getting ready to finish college if it was not for that school. The Quaker school had some good moral teachings also such as accepting people for who they are and had a non violence policy type of thing also. We learned how to handle problems in a civil manner and we were just kids.

A year or so ago I heard from another Catholic that their parents would not have considered a school such as that because it was not Christian or something along those lines. This made me sad and wonder why parents would do such a thing when their child would need the help that such a school could offer.

I’m curious what other people think of this and would like to hear what you have to say. However I would like people to keep conversations civil.

Thank you

All three of my kids have different educational backgrounds. My son went to public schools and he excelled. Then he homeschooled for highschool, again he excelled. My middle child was the victim of overcrowded schools (was there just a bumper crop of kids born in '87?). She was homeschooled for half of first grade, then from 4th grade through high school. Now my youngest homeschooled all the way up to middle school. We looked around for a small private Christian school. The bigger ones I already eliminated when looking for my middle child. The Catholic school had a bad rep. I had friends whose kids went there. Not so good teachers and disciplining issues. Bad kids were not expelled (rich parents). So my daughter attended a small Lutheran school with excellent oversight, bad kids did get expelled. She also attended Lutheran high school, also excellent oversight and emphasis on being a good Christian, citizen, fellow human. She now attends a Catholic university.

 

[SMH_2015]

One of my biggest beefs with the Catholic Church is that they are so focused on outreach ministry that it is neglected their own children. Why do we pay millions of dollars to ministries when some families cannot afford to educate their children in Catholic schools? I also firmly believe that if we spent the money as a Church to pay for Catholic educations for all of our children, we’d have a much smaller problem with a lack of vocations.

Hmm. Good point(s)!

 

[1990Domer]

As a parent, if this was the best fit for you, I would have done it. I WISH that we could have afforded the local Catholic school for our kids. I really believe that it would have made a difference in the way our oldest’s life has turned out. He started associating himself with some unsavory boys from our neighborhood/school, and this has led him to a life of non-stop partying and unmet potential. I realize that EVERY school, whether religious-based or not, has a seedy element, but I really believe if he had been steeped in his faith and around his “Church friends” more than his neighborhood friends, it would have made a big difference.

One of my biggest beefs with the Catholic Church is that they are so focused on outreach ministry that it is neglected their own children. Why do we pay millions of dollars to ministries when some families cannot afford to educate their children in Catholic schools? I also firmly believe that if we spent the money as a Church to pay for Catholic educations for all of our children, we’d have a much smaller problem with a lack of vocations.

Heck, I may go a step further and ask why they cannot accommodate ALL of God’s children…not just the ones that fit the cookie cutter mold of the “average” student. Why not invest more in schools that can help kids with learning disabilities, speech problems, autism, mutism, OCD. The student body would be so much more compassionate. Sadly, I see a diocese full of schools for entitled rich kids.

 

[St_Francis]

Heck, I may go a step further and ask why they cannot accommodate ALL of God’s children…not just the ones that fit the cookie cutter mold of the “average” student. Why not invest more in schools that can help kids with learning disabilities, speech problems, autism, mutism, OCD. The student body would be so much more compassionate. Sadly, I see a diocese full of schools for entitled rich kids.

It’s a question of numbers. How many children in one small Catholic school will need special ed? And what is the likelihood that these children will need the same sort of help?

If the school does anything with public education funds, they start having to follow the rules set ip by the government–transgender biys in the girls’ rooms?-- and you end up with a mess.

Some special ed students just need some extra, specialized help; others need extensive extra help, and some even need caretakers throughout the day. So what is a school to do with, say, one deaf child, one blind child, one dyslexic child, and one autistic child?

Public school are large enough to handle this–with variable success. Carholic schools will be scattered and overburdened.

 

[SilverLight]

Heck, I may go a step further and ask why they cannot accommodate ALL of God’s children…not just the ones that fit the cookie cutter mold of the “average” student. Why not invest more in schools that can help kids with learning disabilities, speech problems, autism, mutism, OCD. The student body would be so much more compassionate. Sadly, I see a diocese full of schools for entitled rich kids.

I would love for them to be able to teach kids with learning disabilities and things related to that kind of stuff. I would love for public schools to take things more seriously also because some people can not afford to send their kids to schools that help kids with learning disabilities and there needs to be other options.

 

[SilverLight]

Well, I can actually comment about a special needs Quaker school my son attended. Sadly, it wasn’t a good fit because it went away from their core mission and started taking behaviorally challenged kids. If it was a good fit, I would have eye-browed the school because of their over emphasis on Earth worship and yelling at my son for not saying the proper grace before meals.

However, the Catholic school wasn’t either. This is why I am here putting my child through another grueling set of neuropsych tests for his cyber school.

Right now, life pretty much stinks.

This sounds oddly almost like the school I went to and now I’m curious.

 

[nodito]

One of my biggest beefs with the Catholic Church is that they are so focused on outreach ministry that it is neglected their own children. Why do we pay millions of dollars to ministries when some families cannot afford to educate their children in Catholic schools? I also firmly believe that if we spent the money as a Church to pay for Catholic educations for all of our children, we’d have a much smaller problem with a lack of vocations.

I don’t understand or agree with this at all. The people who are recipients of the Church’s ministries are ALSO children of the church. When we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc, we ARE taking care of our own.

 

[gardenswithkids]

…A year or so ago I heard from another Catholic that their parents would not have considered a school such as that because it was not Christian or something along those lines. This made me sad and wonder why parents would do such a thing when their child would need the help that such a school could offer. …

Don’t take the word of someone’s child about what his (or her) parents would or would not have done in your parents’ situation. Unless your friend or friend’s sibling had your severity of dyslexia with add and a nun told those parents that the Catholic school wasn’t a good fit for their child, that friend of yours really isn’t qualified to say what those parents would have done in your parents’ situation. That person’s parents might not have ever considered the school because they never had the need for such a school. Your parents did.

There are many school available. Not everyone makes the same choice. Not every school is a good fit for every child or every family. Different families set their priorities based on their values, their resources and their needs. Speaking of resources, it would be *absolutely wonderful *if every Catholic diocese had schools set up for special needs, such as what Monicad suggested! Unfortunately, many diocese can barely afford to keep up their parish schools–and many, many parish school have closed in recent years due to financial concerns.

 

[1990Domer]

It’s a question of numbers. How many children in one small Catholic school will need special ed? And what is the likelihood that these children will need the same sort of help?

If the school does anything with public education funds, they start having to follow the rules set ip by the government–transgender biys in the girls’ rooms?-- and you end up with a mess.

Some special ed students just need some extra, specialized help; others need extensive extra help, and some even need caretakers throughout the day. So what is a school to do with, say, one deaf child, one blind child, one dyslexic child, and one autistic child?

Public school are large enough to handle this–with variable success. Carholic schools will be scattered and overburdened.

Not true. There are dioceses that have already implemented the public school model into their Catholic schools without the federal funding. It can be done. But, is it a priority?

Our archdiocese has dedicated schools for the blind, deaf and those with greater learning disabilities. I assure you that my son’s former school of 178 had at least 10% kids on the spectrum. This does not include other invisible disabilities like ADHD, OCD, dyslexia. If you live in that world, the kids and parents are there that want this education.

 

[1990Domer]

I would love for them to be able to teach kids with learning disabilities and things related to that kind of stuff. I would love for public schools to take things more seriously also because some people can not afford to send their kids to schools that help kids with learning disabilities and there needs to be other options.

Public schools are failing kids with all types of learning disabilities. I thank God every day for my husband’s job, our sacrifice and help from my parents to allow us to provide private therapies for my son. He would never have made it this far otherwise.

 

[1990Domer]

This sounds oddly almost like the school I went to and now I’m curious.

Hum…do you live on the East Coast?

 

[1990Domer]

This sounds oddly almost like the school I went to and now I’m curious.

This Quaker school was originally chartered for bright kids who learn differently. 7-8 kids per class, but tuition was very, very high. They started accepting more at-risk kids, and that is when the stealing and vandalism started. My son was scared to attend. We pulled him.

 

[St_Francis]

I would like to respectfully share my thoughts on this. With all Christian charity the schools (in my opinion) belong to Jesus Christ. Who do you believe that Jesus Christ wants to attend **His **schools? I dare say that Jesus would want all children to attend His schools and I wouldn’t call it “a mess” to include children with disabilities, I would call it beautiful.

Please, what I said would be a mess would be the schools accepting funding and having to follow the state rules, not having children with disabilities.

I am not talking about accepting government funds, I am talking about the Catholic church taking care of her own children here, children with Down syndrome, children that are blind, children that are deaf and children with autism and YES, welcoming them into the Catholic school system. I don’t think necessarily each Catholic school has the capacity to do this, however I believe there should minimally be 1-3 schools per diocese set up to handle this task with support.

Catholic children with disabilities have been shrugged off to the public schools for decades and there is no plan for change. They will be shrugged off for decades and decades more! In fact, in many places there is more effort to recruit non-Catholic students then there is to accommodate our Catholic brothers and sisters with special needs. What sort of message does that send, really I ask you what sort of “people of life” are we? There is a reason that the abortion rate for children prenatally diagnosed with disability is 90%. Mothers are told their children won’t fit in, won’t have a meaningful life and will overburden the family. What does it say when a Catholic school treats a child (perhaps without meaning to) the exact same way? I can personally tell you it is chilling to hear similar language used to keep your child out of a Catholic school that was used to encourage you to abort, brings back unpleasant memories. With all of my typical children in the parish school they were welcomed warmly, encouraged to attend, sent letters, recruited and told what an ASSET they would be to the school. With my child with a disability I was told they would be too much of a burden financially and probably wouldn’t fit in, never was I told they wanted my child.

I am not saying that Catholic schools do not need support, help, guidance, prayer and practical means to accomplish this. They do but truth be told this is already being done! The diocese of Kansas City, MO and the diocese of Sioux Falls, SD have been including children with special needs in their parish schools for YEARS. Effort needs to be made elsewhere. You might be surprised that when effort is made that donations often flourish! Children with special needs have grandparents, aunts, uncles and other loved ones that are anxious to help out too, often financially. There are teachers and principals that have done this successfully, they are eager to share their programs with others. To be honest, I think most of the reason for their success is the Holy Spirit. God wants this, so God is making it possible. With God, all things are possible.

God bless.

Not true. There are dioceses that have already implemented the public school model into their Catholic schools without the federal funding. It can be done. But, is it a priority?

Our archdiocese has dedicated schools for the blind, deaf and those with greater learning disabilities. I assure you that my son’s former school of 178 had at least 10% kids on the spectrum. This does not include other invisible disabilities like ADHD, OCD, dyslexia. If you live in that world, the kids and parents are there that want this education.

Monicad,
I am sorry the schools were not set ip to help your child, and I did not intend to add to that. I have seen situations in which educators were burned out trying to cope with too many different difficulties. It can be very hard on them.

And I also knew an autistic girl who was in a very small school system where she receved totally inadequate help. When her family moved to a different, larger county, they had specialists in autism and the girl blossomed. Like, at the age of 9, she started saying things she wasn’t repeating but saying her own sentences about what was going on around her.

I can see that in a different diocese, one in a single city, might be able to set something like this up. The nearest Catholic school to us is 2 hours away, and the next one is 1.5 hours further. That’s what I’m used to here in the Bible Belt.

I know that most Catholic schools are under a lot of stress. Large families can’t afford to send their children to them, and the teachers are paid much less than PS teachers. They end up having to accept children whose families can afford to pay, and then people are sad because they feel like the school caters to the rich, Catholic or no, and sometimes the school goes downhill in its Catholic identity…

And yes, I think it would be a beautiful thing too if all the children could all go to school together. I think it is very sad that students and teachers have to be more concerned with the tests they have to pass and taking the necessary courses and all that stuff, but this is where we are, and I think a lot of people are just struggling to do the best they can and sometimes that means making decisions they’d rather not make.

 

[1990Domer]

I would like to respectfully share my thoughts on this. With all Christian charity the schools (in my opinion) belong to Jesus Christ. Who do you believe that Jesus Christ wants to attend **His **schools? I dare say that Jesus would want all children to attend His schools and I wouldn’t call it “a mess” to include children with disabilities, I would call it beautiful.

I am not talking about accepting government funds, I am talking about the Catholic church taking care of her own children here, children with Down syndrome, children that are blind, children that are deaf and children with autism and YES, welcoming them into the Catholic school system. I don’t think necessarily each Catholic school has the capacity to do this, however I believe there should minimally be 1-3 schools per diocese set up to handle this task with support.

Catholic children with disabilities have been shrugged off to the public schools for decades and there is no plan for change. They will be shrugged off for decades and decades more! In fact, in many places there is more effort to recruit non-Catholic students then there is to accommodate our Catholic brothers and sisters with special needs. What sort of message does that send, really I ask you what sort of “people of life” are we? There is a reason that the abortion rate for children prenatally diagnosed with disability is 90%. Mothers are told their children won’t fit in, won’t have a meaningful life and will overburden the family. What does it say when a Catholic school treats a child (perhaps without meaning to) the exact same way? I can personally tell you it is chilling to hear similar language used to keep your child out of a Catholic school that was used to encourage you to abort, brings back unpleasant memories. With all of my typical children in the parish school they were welcomed warmly, encouraged to attend, sent letters, recruited and told what an ASSET they would be to the school. With my child with a disability I was told they would be too much of a burden financially and probably wouldn’t fit in, never was I told they wanted my child.

I am not saying that Catholic schools do not need support, help, guidance, prayer and practical means to accomplish this. They do but truth be told this is already being done! The diocese of Kansas City, MO and the diocese of Sioux Falls, SD have been including children with special needs in their parish schools for YEARS. Effort needs to be made elsewhere. You might be surprised that when effort is made that donations often flourish! Children with special needs have grandparents, aunts, uncles and other loved ones that are anxious to help out too, often financially. There are teachers and principals that have done this successfully, they are eager to share their programs with others. To be honest, I think most of the reason for their success is the Holy Spirit. God wants this, so God is making it possible. With God, all things are possible.

God bless.

Monicad, as always, you are my inspiration. After my talk, I am going to make it my vocation to see that the our archdiocese at least forms a committee to consider servicing more than the cookie cutter average kid, as they refer to the kids around here.