G
Gordon_Sims
Guest
I’m not sure where I said I resented those families. They’re not the ones showing preferential treatment. I’d personally love to be in the position to give a lot more and volunteer more than I do, but it wouldn’t be for the sake of my kids’ place in the pecking order, and I don’t begrudge anyone else for doing it. As for who keeps the parish running, I’d be curious to see how the few big donors with kids stack up against the mid-range donors. I’m guessing there’s a good deal more of us and that we give more overall. I’m not saying that should beget unfair treatment, but it should encourage more equitable behavior. As for the families who can’t give as much as even I give, isn’t one of the main reasons I give to my parish to help those folks out? If so, is it right that their kids are always going to fall below mine in the pecking order?I have seen the pattern, too, though, where the kids whose parents step up, volunteer, and contribute are also the students who do the same. They have the confidence to step forward and do that. They have the self-concept that their family does that. It is not unusual for the families who make up 80% of a parish to be the families who started it and the ones everyone knows will still be there supporting the school long after their children graduate. Yes, that builds a reputation in their favor.
People favor those who reach out to them, help them out, and treat them like more than servants. I know that some families are less involved because both parents work and the family resources are stretched thin, but other families fail to step up because they only want to make the minimum contribution they’re forced to make. Those who can’t do better and those who could do better and choose not to wind up in the same pot. It isn’t fair, but I don’t know how you help that. Those families you resent are the people who keep the parish running at all. If they all left, the school could not function. The parish could not function. Yes, if the student acts like the parent acts–that is, if they assume they’re supposed to pitch in when they’re not forced to do it–that builds a prejudice in their favor. And yes, the school can’t afford to lose those families who do more than is required. It is human nature that they’re going to be seen as more loyal to the school. It shouldn’t mean that their word is believed over anyone else’s, but I don’t see the big scandal when that happens. It isn’t just cow-towing to the wealthy. It is also favoring those who are (consciously or not) seen as being in it for the long run. Not fair, but human nature.
Back to school uniforms, though…although the advantage of narrowing the gap between the haves and the have nots is one of the advantages, another advantage is that the students act differently for school than for free time when they have to dress differently for school than for free time. That is true regardless of whether they dress better or worse when they’re not at school.
I will agree with you on the uniforms as far as behavior goes. If you’ve ever been in a school on out of uniform day, you get to see the difference first hand. It makes me wonder why they ever have them.