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HouseArrest
Guest
She doesn’t want him back - tomorrow? Or for the next grade level?
Either way, I would definitely talk to the priest and directly to his teachers to find out what is really going on. It just doesn’t sound right.
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Either way, I would definitely talk to the priest and directly to his teachers to find out what is really going on. It just doesn’t sound right.
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TomD62
Guest
Yes, she doesn’t want him back. He’s in 8th grade with only 4 1/5 months left.
I spoke to the Diocese Superintendent of Schools this morning, who told me the decision is up to the Principle and the Pastor. However, he agreed that we deserved more substantial information about the reasons for her decision, and was going to call the Principle for further explanation, and have her call us back.
The Superintendent also told me that the Pastor should be involved in the decision, but this is interesting. I called the Pastor this morning as well. He is extremely nice. However, he was not aware of the situation at all. He even asked me of my son was in school today. He was kind enought to make an appointment to meet with us today at 1:00 PM.
I spoke to the Diocese Superintendent of Schools this morning, who told me the decision is up to the Principle and the Pastor. However, he agreed that we deserved more substantial information about the reasons for her decision, and was going to call the Principle for further explanation, and have her call us back.
The Superintendent also told me that the Pastor should be involved in the decision, but this is interesting. I called the Pastor this morning as well. He is extremely nice. However, he was not aware of the situation at all. He even asked me of my son was in school today. He was kind enought to make an appointment to meet with us today at 1:00 PM.
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TomD62
Guest
One more thing. My wife spoke to my son’s homeroom teacher, who is also teaches his Social Studies and Lit. She told my wife that she has not had any problems with my son’s behavior.
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PaulinVA
Guest
I feel for you. But it’s really the meanness that is wrong, not the fact that there are groups of friends. So, yes, if you define cliques as small groups that are mean and exclusionary, I am with you.Small groups of friends aren’t wrong. But cliques in childhood can easily become problematic especially when they exclude others. Watching my 9 year old cry himself to sleep the last 2 nights made that quite apparent.
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KellyPalmer
Guest
Cliques are exclusionary by definition. That’s the difference between a small group and a clique. If it were just meanness that were the problem then he wouldn’t have an entire group of kids rejecting him just b/c one kid decided he no longer fit the criteria to be part of the clique even though he does fit this kids criteria. It’s one thing to be rejected by one kid and another to have to go to school with a whole group of kids who suddenly pretend you don’t exist.I feel for you. But it’s really the meanness that is wrong, not the fact that there are groups of friends. So, yes, if you define cliques as small groups that are mean and exclusionary, I am with you.
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robwar
Guest
prayers are coming your way!Yes, she doesn’t want him back. He’s in 8th grade with only 4 1/5 months left.
I spoke to the Diocese Superintendent of Schools this morning, who told me the decision is up to the Principle and the Pastor. However, he agreed that we deserved more substantial information about the reasons for her decision, and was going to call the Principle for further explanation, and have her call us back.
The Superintendent also told me that the Pastor should be involved in the decision, but this is interesting. I called the Pastor this morning as well. He is extremely nice. However, he was not aware of the situation at all. He even asked me of my son was in school today. He was kind enought to make an appointment to meet with us today at 1:00 PM.
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SouthCatholic
Guest
Added prayers here…prayers are coming your way!
This is a horrible thing to do to a child. Unless there is a history of violence on the part of the child there is no reason not to allow him to finish out the year. Please let us know what the final resolution is. It sounds like the Priest may be helpful.
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TomD62
Guest
No violence or anything that remotely resembles violence. I’m sure he has been disrespectful at times, but not cursing or calling the teacher names
My wife, son and I met with the Priest this afternoon. He was very supportive. He had spoken to the Principle early who seemed to indicate that things could be worked out, which is completely the opposite of what my wife and I were told.
After speaking with us the Priest said he would call the Principle and suggested my son be allowed back. After all my son has been there since pre-k4. The Priest gave me his cell number and told me to call anytime I needed.
Well school gets out at 2:30, so at 3:15 I called the Priest to see how his conversation with the Principle went. He described it as very positive and was again very supportive. He told me again the Principle was going to call today. It is now 4:30 and still have not received a call from the Principle.
It is now 4:25
My wife, son and I met with the Priest this afternoon. He was very supportive. He had spoken to the Principle early who seemed to indicate that things could be worked out, which is completely the opposite of what my wife and I were told.
After speaking with us the Priest said he would call the Principle and suggested my son be allowed back. After all my son has been there since pre-k4. The Priest gave me his cell number and told me to call anytime I needed.
Well school gets out at 2:30, so at 3:15 I called the Priest to see how his conversation with the Principle went. He described it as very positive and was again very supportive. He told me again the Principle was going to call today. It is now 4:30 and still have not received a call from the Principle.
It is now 4:25
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TomD62
Guest
With the help of the Priest, we were able to get him back in school, not with a phone call from Principal but and email. He goes back on Tuesday. I’m not sure why and not Monday and I still do not have any explanation as to why this all happened.
We still going to ask for his records, because I’m afraid this may happen again.
Thanks for all your prayers and support…may God Bless you all.
We still going to ask for his records, because I’m afraid this may happen again.
Thanks for all your prayers and support…may God Bless you all.
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HouseArrest
Guest
Very strange.With the help of the Priest, we were able to get him back in school, not with a phone call from Principal but and email. He goes back on Tuesday. I’m not sure why and not Monday and I still do not have any explanation as to why this all happened.
We still going to ask for his records, because I’m afraid this may happen again.
Thanks for all your prayers and support…may God Bless you all.
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EasterJoy
Guest
This sounds very much like one of those days that makes pastors wonder why they got out of bed. One of those last things a pastor wants to have happen is to find out from a hurt family that his parish school principal has expelled a student without his prior consent and without being able to cite a specific rule violation that merits expulsion, let alone without any (name removed by moderator)ut from him or without giving him any prior notice of any kind.No violence or anything that remotely resembles violence. I’m sure he has been disrespectful at times, but not cursing or calling the teacher names
My wife, son and I met with the Priest this afternoon. He was very supportive. He had spoken to the Principle early who seemed to indicate that things could be worked out, which is completely the opposite of what my wife and I were told.
After speaking with us the Priest said he would call the Principle and suggested my son be allowed back. After all my son has been there since pre-k4. The Priest gave me his cell number and told me to call anytime I needed.
Well school gets out at 2:30, so at 3:15 I called the Priest to see how his conversation with the Principle went. He described it as very positive and was again very supportive. He told me again the Principle was going to call today. It is now 4:30 and still have not received a call from the Principle.
It is now 4:25
“I, the principal, am tired of dealing with you” is an insufficient reason to expel a student from school. Expulsion is something that a student, once admitted, has to “earn” by failing to meet the defined expectations of the school. If a child has not earned an expulsion, then the decision to leave or not ought to belong to the family, not the school administration.
I hope this works out soon, because your son has been treated in an outrageous fashion. Frankly, if your son has not violated rules that you were told would lead to his expulsion, your family deserves a big apology. If that is not forthcoming, go back to your pastor. Honestly, if that doesn’t work, go to the diocese and ask to talk to the superintendent of Catholic schools again, so you can describe this situation. Principals are head teachers, not absolute monarchs who can do what they please. The superintendent of schools deserves to know what is going on there.
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einna
Guest
I, too am sorry you had to face that situation. To the OP, I would say don’t just think because a school is Catholic and is known to teach solid Church doctrine it is the best school for your children. I live in a city with a great many Catholic school; however, many seem to over look bullying and demeaning behavior among students.I’m new to participating in Forum so I apologize if this is not exactly related to this discussion. Our son is in 8th grade at Catholic school, which we love, but we believe he has been treated unfairly. I know that sounds bias. He is a very sensitive 14 year old and sometimes gets upset too easily. As a result he is seeing a therapist. He gets 'A’s and 'B’s. He’s never been suspended. He is not a model student either, but not a trouble maker or wise guide. Unfortunately, because he has a reputation for getting upset (not violent) the Principle told us today that she does not want him back. It is breaking his heart. My wife and I don’t know what to do. He’s been there since pre-K 4.
Now when he should be looking forward to 8th grade graduation and high school, he is now sad, depressed and embarrassed. It’s breaking my heart writing this.
We didn’t even know this was possible. I know this can’t happen in public schools.
Does anyone know if we have any recourse to keep him in school? Thank you very much.
I had all three of my kids in Catholic grade school until my oldest was so bullied and demeaned by a certain group of kids who had parents who also went to that school we had no choice but to pull him. Since there were many boys in that class who were very upset and unhappy, I contacted the principal, as I am also an alum of the school. She never contacted me back and when I went to the pastor, he simply told me to speak to the principal. Six boys left that school and my son suffered terrible anxiety and lost all his self esteem. We chose to put him in an Episcopal school where is was completely welcomed and thrived. I work at a Catholic high school and this Episcopal school always sends us some of the finest student we get each year. My other two are still in Catholic school, but that is strictly because of cost.
If you decide on Catholic school, talk to as many of the current parents as possible. Bring up bullying, cliques, favoritism. People won’t want to open up at first, but it is worth the time to help your children.
I have become very outspoken at this Catholic school and sent other emails to the principal trying to help other kids, but I have never received a reply. Just because it is Catholic doesn’t mean it is the best. There are great ones and ones that need to practice what they preach, put words into action. Good luck.
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Annemariels
Guest
For what it’s worth, my husband and I tried three ways of schooling my four kids ~ Catholic school, home school, and public school.
All three choices were great academically, but for us the public school provided the most balance in every area. I found fewer snobs, fewer extremists, and lots and lots of Christians of all denominations, including Catholicism. Most importantly, it did not have a negative affect on my kid’s faith lives. Also, in my public school district, there are lots of Catholic administrators and teachers who do things like bless their classrooms and schools with Holy Water, and join in the school’s interdenominational prayer chains. My kids always got a kick out of seeing their teachers and principals at Mass.
My four kids are in their mid twenties now and they are more spiritual than many of their Catholic school and homeschooled peers. Several of their Catholic and homeschooled classmates from our neighborhood and community are not practicing their faith, and I know at least four of them who are now atheists.
A Catholic education definitely does not guarantee that they will embrace and live our faith. I would love to see a study comparing the faith lives of Catholic adults who went to public vs Catholic schools. My family of origin had five children and I was the only one to go to the public schools (for financial reasons). I am the only one out of the five who is still practicing our faith - the others stopped as soon as they got out of high school…
I spend a lot of time at my church volunteering and see a lot of the parent-school drama. One thing that has not changed since the few years my own kids went there is that the parish school parents act like they are the bosses of the teachers and administrators because they pay tuition. To me, the school offers a product: this is what we are selling (education) and if you like what we have, we would love for you to purchase it (tuition).
However, the parents don’t behave like they are purchasing an existing product - they act like they are purchasing the whole entire school and they all want to be the boss because they are paying for it! I honestly don’t know how the teachers can stand constantly being bossed around and criticized for the most insignificant things. There are probably 800 kids in the parish school. That’s 1600 parent-bosses trying to run the school. UGH.
If you are in a good district, I would recommend giving your public school a whirl! You can always change your mind if it doesn’t work out. Just be ready to be treated like the riff-raff of the parish though. That age-old problem still exists despite major efforts by the Church to stop it.
Good luck with your decision!
All three choices were great academically, but for us the public school provided the most balance in every area. I found fewer snobs, fewer extremists, and lots and lots of Christians of all denominations, including Catholicism. Most importantly, it did not have a negative affect on my kid’s faith lives. Also, in my public school district, there are lots of Catholic administrators and teachers who do things like bless their classrooms and schools with Holy Water, and join in the school’s interdenominational prayer chains. My kids always got a kick out of seeing their teachers and principals at Mass.
My four kids are in their mid twenties now and they are more spiritual than many of their Catholic school and homeschooled peers. Several of their Catholic and homeschooled classmates from our neighborhood and community are not practicing their faith, and I know at least four of them who are now atheists.
A Catholic education definitely does not guarantee that they will embrace and live our faith. I would love to see a study comparing the faith lives of Catholic adults who went to public vs Catholic schools. My family of origin had five children and I was the only one to go to the public schools (for financial reasons). I am the only one out of the five who is still practicing our faith - the others stopped as soon as they got out of high school…
I spend a lot of time at my church volunteering and see a lot of the parent-school drama. One thing that has not changed since the few years my own kids went there is that the parish school parents act like they are the bosses of the teachers and administrators because they pay tuition. To me, the school offers a product: this is what we are selling (education) and if you like what we have, we would love for you to purchase it (tuition).
However, the parents don’t behave like they are purchasing an existing product - they act like they are purchasing the whole entire school and they all want to be the boss because they are paying for it! I honestly don’t know how the teachers can stand constantly being bossed around and criticized for the most insignificant things. There are probably 800 kids in the parish school. That’s 1600 parent-bosses trying to run the school. UGH.
If you are in a good district, I would recommend giving your public school a whirl! You can always change your mind if it doesn’t work out. Just be ready to be treated like the riff-raff of the parish though. That age-old problem still exists despite major efforts by the Church to stop it.
Good luck with your decision!
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Annemariels
Guest
“If you decide on Catholic school, talk to as many of the current parents as possible. Bring up bullying, cliques, favoritism. People won’t want to open up at first, but it is worth the time to help your children.”
This is great advice! Talk with people who left the school too. The bullying and errors being taught about our faith were the main reasons we pulled our kids out of the Catholic school after a few years. It was HORRIBLE. My daughter was being pushed into lockers and computers and had balls thrown deliberately at her head during recess and gym, and when we complained about it they offered for her to talk with the school counselor! NOTHING was done to the bullies. THEY were the ones who needed the counseling. The student and adult cliques were sickening. The kids who were doing the bullying were children of the office workers who, in the eyes of the administration, walked on water. They even tied a boy to the basketball pole with a jump rope and threw balls at his head and private spots during recess and for that the bullies only had to write a paragraph on playground safety. That garbage is not tolerated in the public schools.
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Annemariels
Guest
From Tomd62:
Unfortunately, because he has a reputation for getting upset (not violent) the Principle told us today that she does not want him back. It is breaking his heart. My wife and I don’t know what to do. He’s been there since pre-K 4.
This is something else I have a hard time accepting. The Catholic schools pick and choose who is good enough to be part of their schools and boot out the ones they don’t feel like dealing with. However, if you are in their inner circle, your kids can bully the heck out of other students and it is over-looked and denied. It is sooooo un-Christianlike.
The public schools accept everyone, even those not deemed good enough for the Catholic schools. However, if a student is a true danger or threat to himself or others, he/she is immediately dealt with and sent to alternative schools for troubled kids if necessary. I would say that is what Jesus would prefer, wouldn’t you?
Unfortunately, because he has a reputation for getting upset (not violent) the Principle told us today that she does not want him back. It is breaking his heart. My wife and I don’t know what to do. He’s been there since pre-K 4.
This is something else I have a hard time accepting. The Catholic schools pick and choose who is good enough to be part of their schools and boot out the ones they don’t feel like dealing with. However, if you are in their inner circle, your kids can bully the heck out of other students and it is over-looked and denied. It is sooooo un-Christianlike.
The public schools accept everyone, even those not deemed good enough for the Catholic schools. However, if a student is a true danger or threat to himself or others, he/she is immediately dealt with and sent to alternative schools for troubled kids if necessary. I would say that is what Jesus would prefer, wouldn’t you?
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ConvertMamma
Guest
I recently put my 2 young children in Catholic school for the sole reason that I wanted them to have a strong faith and I wanted the values and our faith that we teach at home to be carried out throughout the day. I scrapped to put the money together but I thought it was worth it. We’re talking about the good of the souls of my children and I would do ANYTHING for them. I am so naieve! What I have found is that you need to find out if the school you are sending them too is TRULY Catholic. Isn’t that sad? I am so disappointed and so afraid of what they have done to my children in such a short time. They follow the Common Core curriculum in my Archdiocese this year and therefore only teach religion as a separate subject. My children have learned to be bored and annoyed by their religion class, like an annoying math class. Due to the secular common core curriculum, religion is not interwoven into the other subjects. My son’s kindergarten teacher I found out is NOT Catholic. The school never told me or any of the other parents. I know that the rules say non-Catholics can be teachers at Catholic schools, but at the KINDERGARTEN level? How do you teach something you don’t believe in when we’re talking about religion? He only has religion in his kindergarten class one time per week. The school told me when I registered my kids that they would receive religious education daily. After I complained, they said that they did not mean “formal” religious education daily. My 2nd grader has lost all reverence for the Mass since starting at this school. She has been taught not to genuflect before or after the All School Mass. I feel like they have lost their wonder and joy about Christ and their faith.
After this experience, and I am the LAST person who I ever thought would be saying this…my kids would be better off in public school. If you put your kids in a Catholic School and there is no reverence shown for Christ and his church from people who supposedly are Catholic and the kids know it is a “Catholic” school, then it is more detrimental to their faith than a public school. If I had them in a public school their would be no religion at all versus a FAKE Catholic teaching. I am so upset right now. What are we doing to our young Catholics if this is what the Catholic Schools are teaching? What is the future of our church? I am not trying to slam all Catholic Schools! There are some amazing ones! But beware that you must be sure it is actually a “Catholic School”, and beware of a Catholic School that has adopted the Common Core. Lord help the Catholic Church in America.
After this experience, and I am the LAST person who I ever thought would be saying this…my kids would be better off in public school. If you put your kids in a Catholic School and there is no reverence shown for Christ and his church from people who supposedly are Catholic and the kids know it is a “Catholic” school, then it is more detrimental to their faith than a public school. If I had them in a public school their would be no religion at all versus a FAKE Catholic teaching. I am so upset right now. What are we doing to our young Catholics if this is what the Catholic Schools are teaching? What is the future of our church? I am not trying to slam all Catholic Schools! There are some amazing ones! But beware that you must be sure it is actually a “Catholic School”, and beware of a Catholic School that has adopted the Common Core. Lord help the Catholic Church in America.
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HouseArrest
Guest
My kids go to a Catholic school and CC has been adopted by the diocese. Believe me, I would love to see them drop CC altogether, but participation in CC does not mean that religion cannot be taught in every subject. In our school, it is so much so. So much that one of my son’s classmates said, “hey, why does every class turn into religion class?”. And yes, if you look at the schedule and the curriculum it would look like religion was “just another class”.
Also, be careful about the public schools. Public schools are in no way neutral. You have to do your homework and keep your eyes open there, too. I have seen many, many anti-Catholic points brought up from our local Catholic school, and we are in a predominantly Catholic area.
Also, be careful about the public schools. Public schools are in no way neutral. You have to do your homework and keep your eyes open there, too. I have seen many, many anti-Catholic points brought up from our local Catholic school, and we are in a predominantly Catholic area.
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HouseArrest
Guest
I think the tide is turning in Catholic education as well. Have you seen the letter addressed to US Bishops asking them to drop common core from Catholic schools? It was signed by over a hundred college professors from across the country. The letter is promising, as are the many Catholic colleges turning more faithful.
Our Catholic school system is not perfect, but my stance is to stay and help get the school as good as it can be. Now ours are not bad and I would not advocate keeping kids at a school that has way too much to change, but ours is definitely worth fighting for.
Our Catholic school system is not perfect, but my stance is to stay and help get the school as good as it can be. Now ours are not bad and I would not advocate keeping kids at a school that has way too much to change, but ours is definitely worth fighting for.
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Bklynguy
Guest
Amen.At a Catholic school, they won’t have “prince and prince” or “Heather has two mommies” on a reading list.
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ConvertMamma
Guest
Your post has been very helpful! It tells me that there is a big problem with the particular school where I have my children. I put my kids there because I wanted religion integrated in their other classes and not taught separately. I wanted other subjects taught from a Catholic perspective. It’s not just the class schedule, they’re simply not doing it. It’s not being integrated. It gives me hope to know that you are having a good experience and that there are truly Catholic schools out there. Thank you and God Bless!
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