Catholic School: why do you send your child (or not)

[melensdad]

Just curious, and I hope you can help me out, but what things are important to you about choosing a school for your child? Why did you choose a Catholic School (or why did you choose a public school) for your child?

Do you rank “safety” as a priority?
Do you rank “quality of education” as a priority?
Do you rank “future ability to get into college” as a priority?
Do you rank “cost of tuition” as a major factor?

What other things do you consider?

 

[Cristiano]

At the end of the third grade my son just stated that he wanted to go to the parish school. We just said fine and he spent the last day of the third grade at the catholic school to make new friends.

Our first reason is for the school environment to be as close as possible to the home one. We are a boring people, our life evolves around the Church.

 

[marci]

For me the #1 reason was an environment that supports the moral teachings of our home and the church. I personally believe that a good education can be received publically or privately, it depends on the school.

I know that spiritually, my kids are much better off in a catholic school. Not to mention the fact that raising kids is hard enough without having to counter the immoral messages they receive all day.

I’ve done it all private, public, homeschool and back to private again. The kids in catholic school are just different. I know that every school is different, but in my experience the catholic school kids are just more innocent. 10 yr olds act like 10 yr olds. My kids are much more naive and unaware then their public school counterparts. They are allowed to be kids and have a childhood and I think that is so important in today’s world.

 

[mommamia]

We thought it would be an easier transistion from homeschool. I wanted my children to have a moral teaching, and be in a place where prayer was considered normal and right, not wrong. Also the education is just superior to the public school around here. I have never been happy with the attitudes and knowledge of the children around here. This is our first school year here, and we tried two parishes, about equidistant, both with schools and just fell in love with the parish we are at.
Now that they are there I have to say we are so lucky to have such a wonderful parish school!! The moral teachings are solid, and run through everything they do! It is a very loving and supportive place, all the kids from K-8 spend time working together and fostering a real family attitude. And the academics are solid, the teachers are caring, the principal is involved. I feel welcome to stop by anytime. Also father is very active and supportive of the school, and the kids love him.

Can you tell I love my parish school?

 

[Bataar]

I read something a while back that went something like this:

If you want your child to learn to defend the faith, send them to public school. If you want your child to lose the faith, send them to Catholic school.

I’m sure there are good Catholic schools, but they seem to be few and far between. In my years at Catholic school, I learned that abortion is ok as long as it doesn’t violate the mother’s conscience, that the church’s teaching on homosexuality is too old, that the Bible, especially the Old Testament, should mostly be viewed as “stories that teach a moral lesson”, that non-Catholics can receive Communion at Mass, there’s no Hell because a loving God could never send people away from him, you get the idea. I almost wish the school could be sued for “false advertising” or something.

 

[ChristineML]

Bataar’s concern about children LOSING their faith by attending Catholic school is also a concern of mine. I met SO many people at college in northern New Jersey who went to Catholic school, but are now non-practicing or downright atheistic / hostile to Catholicism. I’ve often wondered how much of that result was the school’s fault or the parents’ fault. If the parents are hypocrites, never go to Mass themselves, never pray, never try to live a virtuous life, the kids will certainly see the disconnect between home and school.

But how does one judge whether a particular Catholic school is good for the child’s faith or bad for the child’s faith in one or two visits or interviews?

 

[kage_ar]

If you want your child to learn to defend the faith, send them to public school. If you want your child to lose the faith, send them to Catholic school.

.

We work with the teens here, the local Catholic School goes to 8th grade.

The difference in the knowledge of the Faith we see in teens who went to public school or were homeschooled vs the Catholic school is visible.

I’d ammend the above to say if you want them to learn how to devend the Faith, homeschool OR send to public school.

 

[buffalo]

You must find a reverent orthodox Catholic School with fidelity to the Magisterium. If yours is not tell them so and that you expect them to live up to their mission.

Your children will learn to defend their faith. They won’t in a watered down catholic school.

 

[liturgy_geek]

As a mom of four who has both homeschooled and sent my children to the nearest Catholic elementary, I would say my number one concern was whether the Faith was was being, well, faithfully taught.

The Catholic school in question was an excellent school in an orthodox parish, with a loving, caring, faith-filled principal who didn’t water anything down even when teaching catechism to eighth-graders and answering the toughest of questions.

There were many faithfilled families in the school; however, to be honest, there were also several, Catholic and non-Catholic, who were using the school as a generic ‘private school’ with all that that implies–exclusivity, ‘better education’, etc. Since the children attended Mass twice a week, there were some who reasoned that since their children had already been to Mass twice that week, there was no need to attend again on Sunday.

It troubled me that although there was a large Hispanic population at this parish, almost none of the children attended the parish school. To be honest, I don’t know why that was.

Bottom line–if we cease homeschooling, I would send my children again to this Catholic school. It was good to have continuity between what my children were hearing at school and what we were teaching them at home. And, ironically, they did have many chances to defend their faith to their classmates!

Mnay blessings on you and your family!

 

[eliza3b]

If two things were different in our lives, our 4 dcs would probably still be at our local parish school.

1. Two of my children have learning disabilities. The Catholic school did not have the resources to address their needs.
2. We live in NJ and our property taxes are approaching 20K per year. Yep, per year. Add that to 4K tuition per child (no multi child discount) and we would be paying close to 32K per year to educate our children.

That said, our public schools here are excellent. Our town is known for it’s top notch education. A high percentage of the population is Catholic and parents here take education very seriously.

 

[FightingFat]

I’m Catholic, I want my kids brought up in a Catholic environment. All the teachers at our local school are part of our local Catholic community and we see them at mass and church events. Simple choice. Where else would I send them?

 

[BlestOne]

Christine and Bataar… I was raised on the east coast and the “bad” kids always seemed to be the ones who went to Catholic School… I think in the past couple of years that has changed Thank The Lord!!! I know our Catholic schools are really good with catechesis.

Anyway, I have sent my kids to public and Catholic Schools…

Melensdad… Yes to all of the above… they were all concerns. At the time I decided to send my kids to Catholic school there were a number of concerns I was dealing with. First was that I was a single mom and the lack of good male role models as my boys were going into puberty was a biggie. The Catholic School had 300 students k-8 and had 5 male teachers. The public school was 6-8 and had as many students and only 2 male teachers, one of which I had a problem with. Next, we had a series of incidents at the public school… kid threatened to kill son and school tried to suspend my son, teacher threw my son into the wall, son fell and was hurt pretty bad and the school didn’t even call me so by the time I got him to the doctor they said it was too late for x-rays but they were sure he chipped a bone… then when three 6th grade girls ended up pregnant… well let’s just say this wasn’t even half my issues with the school. I even had a teacher yell at me in front of students…and refuse to apologize (and principal wouldn’t make her either). Anyway, I transferred all the kids to Catholic School. I loved the male role models… I loved that kids had to say please and thank you just to get ketchup for their fries… money was an issue but I just let go of that and trusted God and it worked out that I got a job at the school and also got financial aid.

So for HS… I sent ds1 to Catholic HS from 9-11 grades but switched him to public school the last year because ds2 needed the special services at public school for a learning disability. The reason for sending ds1 with him was that ds2 is more of a follower than a leader and I needed ds1 to be a good role model and help him select the right kind of friends. The first week of school I got a call from the principal… to tell me how awesome ds1 was. He stood up to the school bully (ds1 is very thin and only 5’10") and used wit and sarcasm to get his point across to the kid. Ten minutes later the principal called back and had no clue what to do with a 9th grader that painted his entire hand with whiteout… I was wondering the job qualifications of public school principals… Both boys told me that they were considered geniuses because they could read… oh help!!! And they also told me that there was no way their sister was ever going to that school… where the boys have no respect for girls and they practically have sex in the hallways. OK… So DS2 goes to public school and DD goes to Catholic School. I am involved enough to know alot about the curriculum and discipline. I won’t say it is perfect, I have had some issues with teachers but that is to be expected when you are really involved. I went on a trip with the kids last year to DC for the March for Life…

Anyway, to be totally truthful, the biggest problem I have seen with Catholic schools are the horribly spoiled rich kids. But the HS is much better than the grade school was… it seemed everyone knew who was on financial aid and the kids were cruel about it. In the HS, there isn’t very much of that but it is hard when most kids get cars for their birthday and can afford to go on alot of trips. The good thing about the HS is that they require 150 hours of community service to graduate…20 freshman yr, 30 sophomore, 50 junior and 50 senior yr. My dd is a sophomore and has her hours done for all 4 yrs already. The school also really helps prepare them for college and even locates scholarships for them. They are drug tested twice a year (included in tuition) and they have very high academic standards. It is well worth the money if you ask me. She will probably get more than that back in terms of scholarships for college.

 

[duskyjewel]

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Spoiled rich kids who are enabled by the administration, lest the money from Mommy and Daddy dry up. (Bitter personal experience here, of having my wallet stolen by the guy with his last name on the side of the gym and the admins threatening to call the cops on ME! Duh, my dad was a cop… that might actually have been fun. Among many other examples…)

Bad catechesis at way too many of them. Watering down the faith so we don’t hurt feelings.

I can get my kids a high quality classical education with very high standards from a charter school that is funded with my tax dollars, yet runs like a private school.

 

[Lovemyfaith]

I am Catholic.
I belong to a parish.
The parish has a school.
I support the school by sending my kids there.
Honestly, faith is the most important thing for my children to learn anyway, the excellent education they received was a bonus.

 

[buffalo]

I am Catholic.
I belong to a parish.
The parish has a school.
I support the school by sending my kids there.
Honestly, faith is the most important thing for my children to learn anyway, the excellent education they received was a bonus.

Our Catholic Schools would reach new heights if everyone acted like you.

 

[Linnyo]

In Scotland the education system is far different but this is what I did. I selected the schools with the best inspection reports. So my girls went to ‘non-denominational’ schools with good reputations. We withdrew them from the lessons we felt to be against our beliefs. We then sent my eldest to the Catholic High School as it has great results and a positive ethos. I was also impressed by the values that the kids were being taught.
However, at the primary school, my daughter was sexually assaulted in the playground by two boys in her year. The school did not think it was important enough to report to us. We felt our kids weren’t as safe as they should be, complained and were told that ‘it really wasn’t sexual’. Also, despite being reputed to be the best school in our town, my youngest didn’t appear to be learning. She was mute the whole time she was in school and was obviously bothered by something. So, despite being told that we were going to cause her to be very unsettled, and that moving a child without necessity is BAD, we opted to move her to the Catholic school with a lesser reputation. BEST MOVE EVER! My child now talks, participates and has gone from reading up here down her, over there, over here type picture books to reading chapter books within 4 months! It is incredible! She comes home full of everything she has done in school. She loves every minute of it. I have nothing but praise for this school. They have turned my scared little girl into a confident, hardworker. She has gone from bottom group to top group. Also, she feels she can ask for help, share her news and be cared for unconditionally by her teacher. My older girl is also very happy at high school and is flourishing. Again, I have no regrets.

 

[MCL]

Catholic school because…

Heaven is more important than Harvard or a Hummer.

trying to develop a knowledgeable, faith-filled child being exposed on a daily basis to secular humanism and immorality is like trying to build a foundation and tearing it down at the same time. Don’t be fooled at the public schools; it is secular humanism being taught, displayed, and encouraged.

“Community is at the heart of all Catholic education.” Pope John Paul II

“…I am overwhelmed at the thought of the tremendous weight of moral responsibility that Catholic parents accumulate upon their shoulders by not sending their children to Catholic schools.” Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain

It has been my experience as both a mother of children in Catholic schools from K through 12 and a CCD teacher that Catholic schools reinforce the faith taught at home and at the same time teach valuable lessons and doctrine. The children actively learn and understand what a faith community is- everyday, not just once a week. They pray together, receive sacraments, worship, sin, reconcile, learn - as a faith community. This is beyond book-learning. Once a week CCD simply cannot compare - the faith community does not surround the child on a regular basis to make a difference.

Are the Catholic Schools perfect? No, because the community of the faithful is not perfect. Are there Catholic schools that are not faithful to the teachings of the magisterium? Probably.

The biggest difference is that in a Catholic school (assuming it is diligent and faithful) the students are enmeshed in Catholicism. Crucifix and statue of Mary in every room. Every action and lesson can be grounded in their faith.
Teacher: Susie, why did you hit Johnnie?
Susie: I don’t know.
Teacher: Did you show Johnnie the love you would show Jesus?
Susie: No.
Teacher: How can you express your remorse?
Susie: Apologize.
Teacher: Anything else?
Susie: Go to Reconciliation?

You would never hear this conversation in a public school whether the teacher was Catholic or not.

I have come to believe that we are all responsible for making Catholic education the best it can be and that if all Catholic children attended a Catholic school it would not only be more affordable for all it would also influence the entire faith community. Studies reveal (see the USCCB website) that the majority of seminarians come from Catholic schools. It is also my experience that teaching the children properly about the faith has a rebound affect on poorly catechized and lukewarm adults. When your child comes home from school telling how they prayed the Rosary and asks, “Can we pray the Rosary as a family?” Only the most stubborn or hard-hearted would not respond with an enthusiastic “sure!”

Personally, we make great sacrifices to send our children to Catholic school.

 

[MCL]

The difference in the knowledge of the Faith we see in teens who went to public school or were homeschooled vs the Catholic school is visible.

I’d ammend the above to say if you want them to learn how to devend the Faith, homeschool OR send to public school.

Okay, there is a difference. But which students, in your observation, had a greater knowledge and practice of their faith? Public, catholic school or homeschool? You never said, just that you observed a difference.

In my observation, it is overwhelmingly Catholic school students have a greater knowledge and practice of their faith over CCD students. I do not have much exposure to homeschool students.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

The school itself is not as important as what’s best for that particular child. Some kids do well in public school, some in Catholic school, some in charter school, some in home school.

If I was a younger woman, I might go back to home education. As I am not, with this second batch, I am sending them to a very small Catholic school. There are only 10-12 students to each grade. It is well-run, well-maintained, and well-versed in Catholic orthodoxy. If a well-run charter school existed, I would look into it. If my kids needed assistance, I have not hesitated to look first at where my tax dollars are paid.

The girls went to a larger Catholic school that was at one time a very good school. Sadly, it has lost student enrollment from a population of 410 to 176 over 10 years. The pastor and principal blame it on “change of neighborhood”. Some of the reasons people have given me in conversation for pulling their children are:

• If you’re the descendent of one of the parish founders, you are treated better.
• If you are an alum from a certain local high school, your children are treated better.
• Some members of the faculty have personal relationships with members of the above two classes. As such, these faculty members feel they do not have to bother about rules and regs, and can even flout them.
• The principal is afraid of any controversy. She would rather not make any decision- which is making a decision.
• The pastor is only interested in keeping peace. Anybody who disturbs what he considers “peace” is a trouble-maker.
• Safety features. The secretary does not enforce safety proceedures, and in fact has been known to thwart them. People roam the halls at any given hour, including staff of the local public school, ex-faculty members, noncustodial parents, people who used to go to school there, their friends, people off the street. The classroom doors do not lock from one side, and are open all day during class. Naturally, staff may not arm themselves, yet an Al Quida cell could march right in and take over the place.

All of those are good reasons NOT to go to a particular Catholic school, or any school with those problems, for that matter.

 

[eliza3b]

It has been my experience as both a mother of children in Catholic schools from K through 12 and a CCD teacher that Catholic schools reinforce the faith taught at home and at the same time teach valuable lessons and doctrine. The children actively learn and understand what a faith community is- everyday, not just once a week. They pray together, receive sacraments, worship, sin, reconcile, learn - as a faith community. This is beyond book-learning. Once a week CCD simply cannot compare - the faith community does not surround the child on a regular basis to make a difference.

.

Your assumption is that parents who choose to send their children to public or non-Catholic schools, or homeschool their children, do not take their faith seriously. I think you are mistaken. For us, sending our children to a public school has forced us to recommit ourselves to the Church and her teachings. Because we cannot rely on the school to do our job, we do it ourselves. There are many parents who send their children to Catholic schools because they couldn’t be bothered to teach them themselves, or take them to Mass on Sunday. Why bother if the school is going to do it? I had my children in parochial school for five years. It was filled with cliquey parents and run by a principal who hired sub par teachers, some of whom were hostile to the faith. It was more like an expensive “club” than a Catholic community. I didn’t see any Christian charity until I enrolled my children in public school.

There are many holy and faithful adults who attended public schools, such as John Paul 2, Cardinal Avery Dulles, and my very own brother who is a Catholic priest. The family bond is far more important than the school.