Catholic School without kneelers

[AnotherChance]

In a year or so, we will have to decide whether to send our boy to kindergarten at the school associated with the local Catholic Church–where people chat and visit in the sanctuary before Mass, never kneel at any point in the Mass, etc. etc.

…or to Catholic School 45 minutes away at the parish where we are registered and attend weekly–that has proper reverence and silence and kneelers, etc.

It would be a hardship financially and possibly safety-wise in the winter to drive him to school every day to the traditional church in the city. The bus would take him to the local Catholic School.

Question: Do you think he would be confused by going to this loosey-goosey school and Church every day, then still going to the traditional Mass on Sunday in the city? I can’t even imagine going back now to this parish where we used to attend and not kneeling before the Eucharist. I suppose we could try to smash ourselves down on the floor in the pew, or get out in the aisle.

There are other obvious advantages to going to the local school–his friends would be nearby, etc. Has anyone had the experience of their child going to a “modern” type Catholic School, and how has it affected your child?

Our boy (now 3 1/2) just melted my heart this past Sunday by for the first time kneeling voluntarily at all appropriate points in the Mass and folding his little hands. I would hate for him to learn that this is not normal or expected. Any thoughts would be appreciated as we begin to pray about this decision.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am unable to determine whether your issues are with the actual schools involved, or the parishes where they are located. I would advise getting to know everything you can about each school–academics, faith life, teaching, administration etc. Very often practice in the school varies widely from the practice of the adjacent parish, so that is not always a reliable guide. I would also find out know what you have to do to get your child on the waiting list of both schools, do you have to register for either parish, tithe or contribute in other ways etc., because you may find yourself disappointed when it comes time to register him.

 

[ljubim]

Peer pressure will play a huge role in your son’s faith. So far, he’s had you, a really good example. So it’s not a good idea to put a lot of bad examples (teachers, friends, the priest, etc) in his life. It’s going to confuse him and could be harmful.

Perhaps somebody can help you out with the inconvenience of getting him to the better school? I’m praying for you… and your son. He may be a good Catholic boy now, but wait until you see him after years at the unorthodox school. If this was a high schooler, things might be different. But he’s far too young to stand firm against dozens of people who don’t respect the mass as you do.

 

[mwscott]

I certainly think that the more traditional school is the way to go. This will instill a much stronger foundation for his Catholic faith which will help him and even the Church in the future. I think that the younger generation in is beginning to leave a profound impact on the Church’s reform of the reform.

Still, the safety of your son and your financial security are a factor. I recommend prayer. Also, seek the advice of your friends and consult your pastor. Ultimately, if you believe that your son will establish a strong foundation and master his knowledge of the Catholic faith then you could consider sending him to the less traditional school.

Edit: On another note, sending your son to this school is financially supporting it and its “less traditional” practices. Or, if you prefer to think of it this way: sending your son to the traditional school is financially supporting its orthodoxy.

 

[acadian]

Do they really go to Mass daily at the “less traditional” parish’s school?

My kids attend school at the school owned by our parish. School Masses are celebrated in the school gym and their are no kneelers there. (The church is several blocks from the school and not large enough to hold the entire student body.) So they stand during the Eucharistic prayer. They have not been unduly damaged by this. They still know that we kneel when we go to church on Sunday.

My children have learned a lot about their faith from their school (way more than I learned at a Catholic school), but they have also learned from my example. The school offers confession once a year; I take them 3 or 4 times a year. They learn because we live our faith. They are learning what it is to serve others and Boy Scouts has been a valuable ally with this. They go to school with kids who do not attend Mass every week, but they know that our family does, and they have never questioned this. They are in 7th and 8th grade, now.

Having them nearby is invaluable, in my humble opinion. You are talking about spending 3 hours a day on the road to transport him to and from school?? 180 days a year? For 8, 9, 10 years? What happens when they call you and tell you that he is throwing up or has broken his arm on the playground or has had an “accident”? Do you really want it to be an hour before you get to him, and another 45 minutes to an hour to get home??

My kids are about 5 minutes away from where I work. Their school is not perfect (none are) but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Often, I am able to slip away to atttend Mass or meet with a teacher or bring them a forgotten item (meds, materials) or pick up a puking kid.

Just my view from a practical standpoint. Plenty of kids have turned out to be wonderful Catholics by attending public school and attending catechism classes or being homeschooled in religion. The school is not the final word. What they see at home has a bigger influence.

 

[bpbasilphx]

\Question: Do you think he would be confused by going to this loosey-goosey school and Church every day, then still going to the traditional Mass on Sunday in the city?\

Question: Have you actually BEEN to the school in question? If so, why do you think it’s “loosey-goosey”? What are your standards for being such?

 

[AnotherChance]

\
Question: Have you actually BEEN to the school in question? If so, why do you think it’s “loosey-goosey”? What are your standards for being such?

My daughter attended this school in middle school, so I have been there many times. It is the school and church that got our family back into the Church and got me to convert (my husband is a baptized Catholic). But then after I studied and learned more, we chose to formally join the more orthodox parish in the city.

To answer another person’s question, no, they only attend Mass once a week–not every day.

My standards are basically that this Church has many aspects that remind me of the Protestant churches I used to attend. The people socialize before (and sometimes during Mass). A typical experience: Once when everyone was standing waiting to receive the Eucharist, I heard a woman comment to the person next to her about how the high school swim team was doing that year.

It wasn’t until we started going to the traditional church, where there is a hushed and proper reverence from the moment we walk in, that I really realized how cavalier the congregation at the local church is.

But I appreciate the person who understands how difficult it would be to have my boys far away from me at school. The third possibility is moving to town, but we just really are resistant to this.