Catholic sexual morality - indefensible?

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The common definition of “morality” is: “the written and unwritten rules of socially accepted behavior”.
If you would accept this to be the definition of morality, then you would have no choice but to declare fornication, pre-marital sex, contraception, homosexuality, and masturbation, among others, as immoral because these acts are not as of today socially accepted.
 
Who shall set-up that objective morality? And by what authority shall he do it?
Nobody, in particular. It just emerges from general concensus. And it is maintained by the current society. If someone violates the codified laws, they will be punished by the legal system. If someone violates the unwritten rules, they will be ostracized.
Oh, the tool of destruction has been credited as the tool of stability. It is like saying, "Kill people so that people will live more".
That is a very bad analogy. People do not get killed in a divorce. Not that there is a need for analogy, the facts speak for themselves. What is better, to be stuck in a bad relationship, or close the chapter and move on? Besides, the Catholic Church allows separation - which is a de-facto divorce. The Church only “frowns” on re-marriage, not the divorce (separation) itself.
Anyway, you have a right to make your own opinion. Keep you opinion to yourself.
Didn’t you ask for my views? Then why do you object for expressing them?
The fact that there were people who ate human flesh in consequence of a plane crush is not a reason to conclude that morality is not absolute. It is not logical. For in the eyes of absolute moral law, what they did remained wrong, regardless of how civil or criminal law looks at their act.
I wonder how would you have behaved if you were to walk a mile in their shoes? The instinct to survive is very strong. Besides, you still have to substantiate that there is an “absolute moral law” - on secular grounds, of course.
That optimal strategy is nice on paper. But when we observe actual life situations, most often and in many cases, it is self-centeredness that directs the man who does not respect absolute moral law. Consider, for example, the past experience of the blacks in the U.S. If man’s natural optimal strategy is to be partially self-centered and partially altruistic, how then did it not occur that the whites treated the blacks as their equal? That is an evidence that the optimal strategy is not natural to man. On the contrary, it is an evidence that man is naturally self-centered. It is his nature to seek first for his own, and when he has the opportunity to have greater power over another, he would take the opportunity and “enslave” the other.
Some do, others do not.

As to why the blacks were treated as unequal - the whites used certain passages of the Bible to justify their position. However, the slaveholders adhered to the optimum strategy - among themselves. They just excluded the blacks as sub-human.
If you would accept this to be the definition of morality, then you would have no choice but to declare fornication, pre-marital sex, contraception, homosexuality, and masturbation, among others, as immoral because these acts are not as of today socially accepted.
Depends on the society. In some societies they are declared as immoral, in others they are not. In the Scandinavian societies they are perfectly accetable, in the Islamic ones they are punishable by law. Which one is more palatable is a matter of taste. Personally I prefer freedom to Sharia, or any other type of totalitarian system - be they secular or religion based.

Morality changes from one society to the next, and changes within one society as time passes. It stays objective, but it is not absolute.

Now, can we return to our regularly scheduled program?
 
What is better, to be stuck in a bad relationship, or close the chapter and move on? Besides, the Catholic Church allows separation - which is a de-facto divorce. The Church only “frowns” on re-marriage, not the divorce (separation) itself.
No, it is not de-facto divorce. For divorce presupposes the existence of a valid marriage
which then shall be put asunder. The separation you are talking about cannot be considered de-factor divorce.
 
I wonder how would you have behaved if you were to walk a mile in their shoes? The instinct to survive is very strong. Besides, you still have to substantiate that there is an “absolute moral law” - on secular grounds, of course.
I, in their shoes? My feet would not fit their shoes. God provided manna from heaven when the Israelites hungered in the desert. The source of absolute moral law would be there so that it shall not be violated.

If moral law is not absolute, society would be survival of the powerful. The powers that be shall define moral law according to their personal interests and impose it upon their subjects. Who shall have authority to check the powers that be? None when there is no absolute moral law. The suffering subjects will have to suffer or rise up in revolution against the powers that be. Society will continously be in turmoil. Each ethnic or fraternal group competing with each other for supremacy so that their own kind of morality would be the one to be observed. History would bear witness to this.
 
As to why the blacks were treated as unequal - the whites used certain passages of the Bible to justify their position. However, the slaveholders adhered to the optimum strategy - among themselves. They just excluded the blacks as sub-human.
That is why we say that your optimal strategy is not in the nature of man.
 
No, it is not de-facto divorce. For divorce presupposes the existence of a valid marriage which then shall be put asunder. The separation you are talking about cannot be considered de-factor divorce.
Marriage is a legal, secular construct. Don’t forget, we are talking about secular matters here. The CC allows separation, but not re-marriage. The de-jure divorce ackowledges the de-facto separation, the cessation of a legal relationship. It makes no sense to say that the legal cessation of a relationship is socially harmful, while the actual separation is acceptable.
I did not ask your opinion about that. It was your opinion in reply to brentomistic in post #263.
I stand corrected. Indeed I replied to Brentomistic, you just jumped in, and I replied to you.
I, in their shoes? My feet would not fit their shoes. God provided manna from heaven when the Israelites hungered in the desert. The source of absolute moral law would be there so that it shall not be violated.
There was precious little “manna” on the snowy peaks of the Andes. There was a “choice”, starvation, or cannibalism. And the outside world did not throw the “first stone”. The survivors were accepted and no blame was piled upon them. In other words, their behavior was not condemned as “immoral”.
If moral law is not absolute, society would be survival of the powerful. The powers that be shall define moral law according to their personal interests and impose it upon their subjects. Who shall have authority to check the powers that be? None when there is no absolute moral law. The suffering subjects will have to suffer or rise up in revolution against the powers that be. Society will continously be in turmoil. Each ethnic or fraternal group competing with each other for supremacy so that their own kind of morality would be the one to be observed. History would bear witness to this.
Powers do not define “moral laws”, they define “actual legal laws”. The two are not identical. Moral “law” is an oxymoron. History does bear witness to the constant turmoil, to power struggle, to changing socially acceptable norms. I don’t know if you think that we are headed in the right or wrong direction. Personally, I would not trade places with any member of any of the older societies, not even with the most powerful ones. The good old times are today, and it will be better tomorrow.
That is why we say that your optimal strategy is not in the nature of man.
You cannot expect the people of yesteryear to be aware of the mathematical intricacies of game theory. So, formally they were not aware of it. But they did have a pretty good inclination of the “stuff” behind the theory, which is attested to by the formulation of the Golden Rule, and the Inverse Golden Rule - none of which are original Christian propositions.

Nevertheless, it is meaningless to speak of the “nature” of man. There are good people, bad people, there are altruistic people, and sociopaths… to speak of a “generic” nature is just about as meaningless, as putting Bill Gates and a thousand homeless people into a room and then declare that “on the average” everyone is comfortably well-off.
 
Marriage is a useful institution. However, divorce does not destroy the concept of marriage, it merely makes the existing marriages more stable and better. Observe that the second and third marriages are much better. Having an easy divorce makes sure that the couple will stay together if they are happy in their relationship.

Before divorce was easy to obtain, the marriages lasted longer. But were they “happier”? Or more satisfying? Statistics says otherwise. People had outside relationships, it was a quietly “overlooked” custom. Divorce made the marriage more honest. So, yes, even if one considers marriage as the “basic cell” of society, divorce is useful, because it makes the marriage more stable.
Within a secular context, marriage is useful for some people but not ALL people which is why we are witnessing the rise of de-facto relationships.

If marriage is a legal contract with the terms ‘til death do us part’ then divorce breaks the contract regardless of the happiness or satisfaction levels of the individual parties to the contract. If the contract is for monogamy then extra-marital relations also break the contract.

I would recommend reading a book written by Clive Hamilton last year called ‘The Freedom Paradox: Towards a Post-secular ethics’. Clive Hamilton is not a catholic.
 
Oh, the tool of destruction has been credited as the tool of stability. It is like saying, "Kill people so that people will live more". Anyway, you have a right to make your own opinion. Keep you opinion to yourself.
A rather subtle good example there:D. I think it went right over his head though.
 
Spock:
That is a very bad analogy. People do not get killed in a divorce. Not that there is a need for analogy, the facts speak for themselves. What is better, to be stuck in a bad relationship, or close the chapter and move on? Besides, the Catholic Church allows separation - which is a de-facto divorce. The Church only “frowns” on re-marriage, not the divorce (separation) itself.
Divorce kills marriage or is the death of a marriage; that should be obvious. The Church doesn’t frown on re-marriage, for divorce, or separation if you will, does not end the previous marriage. It is more than frowned upon, re-marriage is “prohibited” with the spouse still living. To do so is to be in mortal sin, and quite possible is automatic excommunication as well, so it’s a LOT more than just frowned upon. That’s the official angle, what any individual catholic does with it may be an entirely different matter.
 
Marriage is a useful institution. However, divorce does not destroy the concept of marriage, it merely makes the existing marriages more stable and better. Observe that the second and third marriages are much better. Having an easy divorce makes sure that the couple will stay together if they are happy in their relationship.

Before divorce was easy to obtain, the marriages lasted longer. But were they “happier”? Or more satisfying? Statistics says otherwise. People had outside relationships, it was a quietly “overlooked” custom. Divorce made the marriage more honest. So, yes, even if one considers marriage as the “basic cell” of society, divorce is useful, because it makes the marriage more stable.
Not so. From: blog.worldvillage.com/family/the_second_marriage_divorce_rate_is_it_possible_to_beat_the_odds_and_make_your_second_marriage_a_success.html

“Psychology Today stated that a whopping 60% of remarriages fail. And they do so even more quickly; after an average of 10 years, 37% of remarriages have dissolved versus 30% of first marriages.”

jd
 
Within a secular context, marriage is useful for some people but not ALL people which is why we are witnessing the rise of de-facto relationships.
Very true. I see nothing wrong with it. As long as two people love each other, the “paper” can be superfluous.
If marriage is a legal contract with the terms ‘til death do us part’ then divorce breaks the contract regardless of the happiness or satisfaction levels of the individual parties to the contract. If the contract is for monogamy then extra-marital relations also break the contract.
The “till death” clause does not necessarily appear in a civil marriage. However, a contract can be dissolved or invalidated by mutual agreement. Moreover, some couples agree to have an open relationship, where extra-marital engagement is permitted.
I would recommend reading a book written by Clive Hamilton last year called ‘The Freedom Paradox: Towards a Post-secular ethics’. Clive Hamilton is not a catholic.
Thanks for the recommendation.
 
Divorce kills marriage or is the death of a marriage; that should be obvious.
Only if you wish to be poetic. 🙂
The Church doesn’t frown on re-marriage, for divorce, or separation if you will, does not end the previous marriage. It is more than frowned upon, re-marriage is “prohibited” with the spouse still living. To do so is to be in mortal sin, and quite possible is automatic excommunication as well, so it’s a LOT more than just frowned upon. That’s the official angle, what any individual catholic does with it may be an entirely different matter.
I put the word “frown” into quotes, to allude to the fact that I was talking figuratively. However, this part of the thread is concerned with secular underpinning for the Church’s position of sexual matters. So to refer to “mortal sin” should not be applicable here. I already agreed, that the Church’s position is defensible on theological grounds, so the point is moot.
 
4 Causes of Racism -
  1. Stereotypes
  2. Unfamiliarity
  3. Selfishness
  4. Genes and Environment
See the following: associatedcontent.com/article/211605/the_4_causes_of_racism.html?cat=47

Those all sound secular to me.
Maybe. “Stereotyping” can occur on both secular and religious basis. It is an “us” versus “them” point of view. But what is your point? What does that have to do with anything concerning the secular underpinning of the Catholic teachings about sexual matters?

Can we return to the subject?
 
Only if you wish to be poetic. 🙂 Just sounded like a stark contrast to what you were saying to me; poetic though it may had been.

I put the word “frown” into quotes, to allude to the fact that I was talking figuratively. However, this part of the thread is concerned with secular underpinning for the Church’s position of sexual matters. So to refer to “mortal sin” should not be applicable here. I already agreed, that the Church’s position is defensible on theological grounds, so the point is moot.
You’re the one who said “the Church” frowns upon it. I don’t really know what you mean by putting quotes around it. If you go to mention Church, and then somebody corrects you on that, you certainly then shoudln’t want to reach for the secular exemption, because there is no such thing as a secular Church. You strayed from your secular turf IOW.
 
You’re the one who said “the Church” frowns upon it. I don’t really know what you mean by putting quotes around it.
Oh, come on. It means that Church does not allow it. Should I spell it out in more detail? The Church does not object separation. The Church will allow re-marriage, if one of the couple dies. The Church allows re-marriage in one more instance: if the marriage has not been consummated.

The whole point of the part is that de-jure divorce and de-facto separation are two sides of the same coin. It was asserted that legal divorce undermines society, and therefore it is “immoral”. If that were true (and of course it is bogus), then de-facto separation would be just as detrimental. To say that separation is fine, but divorce is not is yet another unsupportable and irrational stance to take.
 
Oh, come on. It means that Church does not allow it. Should I spell it out in more detail? The Church does not object separation. The Church will allow re-marriage, if one of the couple dies. The Church allows re-marriage in one more instance: if the marriage has not been consummated.

The whole point of the part is that de-jure divorce and de-facto separation are two sides of the same coin. It was asserted that legal divorce undermines society, and therefore it is “immoral”. If that were true (and of course it is bogus), then de-facto separation would be just as detrimental. To say that separation is fine, but divorce is not is yet another unsupportable and irrational stance to take.
If you say so, but from what I have gathered over the years, the use of the word frown (a frown being a very weak thing) in such an instance usually designates a position that some organization officially doesn’t allow on paper, but in practice does otherwise (nudge-nudge wink-wink).
 
Very true. I see nothing wrong with it. As long as two people love each other, the “paper” can be superfluous.
Any two people have the free will to cohabit without a ‘piece of paper’. However, some of the following stats are interesting:
-only one in six cohabitors stay together for more than 3 years and only one in ten last for more than 5 years.
-men in cohabiting relationships are four times more likely to cheat on their partner than married men.
-the rate of STD’s among cohabiting couples is six times higher than among married women.

For those in secular society who desire a ‘life-long monogamous commitment’ the following stats are interesting:
-In U.S./U.K. there is an increased risk of divorce for those who co-habit which may be as high as 46%, unless the first partner they cohabit with is their future spouse.
-the divorce risk for co-habiting couples is highest in the first 7 years of marriage.
-the rate of divorce among those who cohabit prior to marriage is nearly double (39% vs 21%) compared with couples who marry without prior cohabitation.
 
Any two people have the free will to cohabit without a ‘piece of paper’. However, some of the following stats are interesting:
-only one in six cohabitors stay together for more than 3 years and only one in ten last for more than 5 years.
-men in cohabiting relationships are four times more likely to cheat on their partner than married men.
-the rate of STD’s among cohabiting couples is six times higher than among married women.

For those in secular society who desire a ‘life-long monogamous commitment’ the following stats are interesting:
-In U.S./U.K. there is an increased risk of divorce for those who co-habit which may be as high as 46%, unless the first partner they cohabit with is their future spouse.
-the divorce risk for co-habiting couples is highest in the first 7 years of marriage.
-the rate of divorce among those who cohabit prior to marriage is nearly double (39% vs 21%) compared with couples who marry without prior cohabitation.
I don’t know where these statistics come from, but I will accept them - provisionally - until you can establish them.
  • The length of the relationship in not a problem.
  • Cheating could be a problem, unless the couple decides to have an “open” relationship.
  • STD’s are always a serious problem. Can be decreased by proper use of condoms.
  • Divorce is not a problem.
And let’s not forget: correlation is not necessarily causation.
 
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