Catholic Singles more Secular than I thought?

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Jeanette L,

Thank you, i know that i have always been different than those around me. Some of the girls that i work with will come out when i do. One use to have a potty mouth, she came out one day and saw that i was reading the Bible. She asked if i would like to talk about that. i watching here behavior said no, i do not. She asked why (insulted). From that day forth, she does not speak that way (at least when i am around). But why i mention this, is that she was married. She is a Debbi downer and very open what she does and thinks. Yet she could find a husband?!! i can see that she is not happy, and she claims with pride that she is an X-Catholic. Still i wonder…

Chyna
 
I hung out with the “young adults” group at our parish once or twice… six women, one guy, me and my husband. One of the outings was to a bar that was a favorite of the group. After listening to the incredibly foul-mouthed DJ for a few minutes, I told my husband that I’d be in the car. I’m guessing that this is why they only had a few members… why bother, if they’re going to be as bad as the rest of the culture? 😦

Personally, I dated very few guys (“few” as in “four”). The son of the Lutheran organist… not good. The guy from the choir at college… very, VERY bad.

So I went and found a polite, shy nerd at a non-denominational Bible study (who had dated even fewer people than I had!). He became Catholic the year before we married. 🙂

They’re out there… the problem is finding them!
 
Chyna said:
Jeanette L,

Thank you, i know that i have always been different than those around me. Some of the girls that i work with will come out when i do. One use to have a potty mouth, she came out one day and saw that i was reading the Bible. She asked if i would like to talk about that. i watching here behavior said no, i do not. She asked why (insulted). From that day forth, she does not speak that way (at least when i am around). But why i mention this, is that she was married. She is a Debbi downer and very open what she does and thinks. Yet she could find a husband?!! i can see that she is not happy, and she claims with pride that she is an X-Catholic. Still i wonder…

Chyna
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I’m sure you could easily and quickly find a husband also if you lowered your standards concerning your own behavior and concerning what kind of husband you wanted, but chances are you would probably end up unhappy like her.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that people who seem to have what you want are better off than you. Most of the time there was a compromise involved that was not a good trade-off for them in the long run. And you are a unique individual, with your own journey, you just can’t compare your life to someone else’s. It’s comparing apples and oranges, it won’t get you anywhere worthwhile.
 
Thank you, i know, i really do.
Funny story, several Sundays ago, i noticed this guy (that was making himself known) He seemed total into what our Pastor was saying. i liked to see him pray, it was odd (kneeling when not necessary, on bare floor) He started siting closer each Sunday.

After Mass i would usually leave to a place in which i have found that i can be still in God.

i love to hear my Pastor speak, the love of Christ just shines through him. Anyway, this one Sunday, this guy is sitting right next to me. After Father M, stopped speaking and most of us are in awe, this guy, leans over my way and says “now listen to what Father M. is saying, don’t run out of here sit here and take in what Father said”. This was his second mistake with me. He had once tried to talk to me while going to Communion!
After Mass, some of my kin and i were talking with Father after they left, he was waiting for me. Once seeing him i was mad inside myself that he would interrupt me when i am praying, he asked me about my broken leg. Then said that he has been trying to get my attention for months now and would i go have coffee with him. i did not want to and he kept on.

Now, i will stop the story, he no longer comes to the same Mass as i do. What an approach! Some of my kin is upset with me that i would not even give him a chance. There are other reasons as to why i would not go but to interrupt me while in Mass, No. i am not IN Mass to pick up someone. i am there to be closer to God! Do you think i was wrong?

Chyna
 
Chyna said:
Now, i will stop the story, he no longer comes to the same Mass as i do. What an approach! Some of my kin is upset with me that i would not even give him a chance. There are other reasons as to why i would not go but to interrupt me while in Mass, No. i am not IN Mass to pick up someone. i am there to be closer to God! Do you think i was wrong?

Chyna
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No, of course you are not wrong. Whenever you have a bad feeling about someone or their behavior, you are not wrong for following your feeling. And Mass is not the place to be putting the move on someone. He obviously was not in the proper frame of mind, and his overt acts of piety were a show, like a peacock, trying to draw attention to himself.

At the very least, he is immature both emotionally and spiritually. You did what was best for you.
 
chevalier said:
As for nerdship… What if you’re a computer and internet geek (using and coding, assembling if hardware), a classics geek, a history geek, a fantasy geek and a roleplaying geek at the same time? 😃 And a lawyer. 😃 Come on, no one can put up with that. 😃
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👍
I think I know you 😛 (not really) But you sound like a lot of the guys I know from another forum. Smart, Geeky, and have a great job. 👍 nothing wrong with that.
 
When i first converted from Pentecostalism i thought the people in my parish were just plain weird.
They were not like the youth at protestant churches in that they drank & swore a lot.
but i have found them to be more honest & not so obsessed with appearances & showing off what great spiritual people they are.

Theres only a small youth group at my parish. I am single BTW much to the annoyance of my father.
 
Chyna said:
Hello All,

My problem is that the functions that i have gone to at my Parish, are made up of families or the old.

i work under the Archdiocese, there are very few Catholics that work in my building. Those that are… well lets just say that most lunch room talk is not very clean. i find even being young, that i am embarrassed and need to leave. i then go outside and read.

i have always seem to have to do that. While in school i would go to the parties, but never could stay.

i always seemed to be comfortable in Church.

i would be afraid to go on-line dating. i am afraid of dating. i do not do drugs, will not have sex without marrage. i am just plan weird, i guess. i pray to God to send me someone that He wants me to date. My family is very upset with me that i have not married. i do not think that my standards are too high. i would not want to date but only a Catholic. We would have that love in common as well.

Chyna
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There’s nothing wrong with you, Chyna. Actually I think you might fit in well at a TLM; I wish you’d consider going.
 
I think I know you (not really) But you sound like a lot of the guys I know from another forum. Smart, Geeky, and have a great job. nothing wrong with that.
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Hm…you got stairs in your house? Just checking. 😉

Mirdath and I are different in our approaches to Catholicism —for Mirdath, the family converted and raised the young into the modern-conservative Catholic style, and my love went apostate as soon as was possible. Me, I’m so hardcore-Irish/American it’s a wonder I don’t bleed green, yet I was raised entirely secularly and have apparently no talent for faith. I did go to an excellent Jesuit school since my mind demanded better fare than Indiana public schools can serve, and I marvel now to see so many Catholics are ignoring the genuine tradition of learning, inquiry and rigor that has always made the ignorant fear and the wise respect the Church, and with good reason too.

Also, the nerdery around this forum is charming, for the most part. I assure you, we love us some gaming, PnP (heck, Mirdath writes them from scratch, and I’m not half bad either), video (any platform, I dare ya) and so forth.

Nerds have a special responsibility, perhaps. Yeah, it’s male-dominated (tch, what isn’t other than menstruating?) and since it’s become profitable, in some ways more exclusive. But most male nerds just need some training in the social graces (and confidence), and the nerd ladies may be shy and dysfunctional (oh soooo unlike the guys, yeah 😛 ) but they usually have had to learn to be strong in themselves early, and given the respect and validation the have earned so well, oh how they shine. When we get past the self-hatred, us nerds are the best of the best in civilization! And I may say, nerds are actually much better looking than they ever give themselves credit for – we happen to look fabulous, and we’re getting married in a few weeks!

Ahem. No, we’re not Catholic, but we’re not such Bad Examples as all that either. Not really sure which aspect you’re most interested in, the intellectually kinda-secular tradition of the RCC, or the behavior of the cuties (of whichever sex) thereof. I’m guessing the latter, uh…yeah. Nerd. 😃
 
kage_ar said:
Drinking or dancing in moderation, what is so un-Catholic about that?
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Some old skool Catholics would say it’s the “moderation” part which doesn’t jive with their experience of being devoutly Catholic. Drinking and dancing heartily, now THAT’s what they know as Catholic! 😉
 
Nepenthe said:
Hm…you got stairs in your house? Just checking. 😉

Nerds have a special responsibility, perhaps. Yeah, it’s male-dominated (tch, what isn’t other than menstruating?) and since it’s become profitable, in some ways more exclusive. .
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It is a male dominated thing, but there are PLENTY of women who are geeky and into gaming. 👍
 
See, geekiness in the computer field connects two worlds normally considered apart:
  1. The language and art.
  2. Science.
This matches the personalities of those who, for example, enjoy language and literature, while also appreciating the more specific scientific knowledge and are somewhat mathematical in thinking. If you’re both mathematical and literary in one skull, geekdom is for you. 😃
 
I think the secular way society is would tempt anyone of a religious belief to ‘conform’ and give up some of their practices to ‘blend in’ more appropriately.

For me, what is disturbing is the lack of thinking many people have towards their ethics and values. Many people only seem to act either to make the most money possible, or to fulfil every possible desire through consumerism at all levels. People seem to ignore the tradition of moral philosophy and seeking wisdom and also the value and excellences of being a virtuous, decent, well rounded person, and instead focus on making as much wealth as possible, conspicuous consumption, and glory in the eyes of society.

There are no doubt many virtuous people out there, secular and religious, who reason carefully about moral matters and do their best to be a good person. But in my view, the world certainly needs more of them.
 
Compassion is deficient in the modern world. Even a doctorate in moral philosophy or theology won’t automatically make one try to be a better person. At the same time, there are many people who haven’t finished too many schools, but are still very good and kind people. It’s probably something taken from home and/or religious education.
 
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