Catholic values and raising kids

[pammie]

My 10 yr old, Catholic schooled daughter told me she believes in the death penalty ( I have posted about her before–she’s tiny but strong willed and precocious! ) She feels that really bad people sometimes deserve this punishment. I was respectful of her and explained our belief as Catholics that only God can decide when someone dies.

I was sharing this with another Catholic mom who’s children attend the same school as my child and here lies the problem. This mom told me she does not believe in many of the Catholic “rules” and supports gay rights and gay marriage. ( I am not condemning her or anyone else’s right to believe what they believe ).
I told her that it was important that Catholic children learn about their faith and what we believe as Catholics. These beliefs are not random but given to us by God in the scripture.
Sending a child to Catholic school and practicing cafeteria style Catholicism would, in my opinion, do nothing but confuse a child and you can pretty well bet that they will grow up and continue to be Catholic in name only. I feel that I was not a very good apologist in this situation and could have done a better job in discussing this issue with this parent. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I can handle my daughter but the situation with the other mom really caught me off guard.

Thank You

 

[SMHW]

I told her that it was important that Catholic children learn about their faith and what we believe as Catholics. These beliefs are not random but given to us by God in the scripture.
Sending a child to Catholic school and practicing cafeteria style Catholicism would, in my opinion, do nothing but confuse a child and you can pretty well bet that they will grow up and continue to be Catholic in name only.

I think you did just fine.

Unfortunately I don’t think you’ve run into an isolated case. Today many (in some places, most) people send their children to Catholic school because of the academics and discipline rather than because of the religious instruction.

 

[apricot_yogurt]

I am afraid that Catholic schools can be very disappointing. In this country, catholic schools are appalling. 99% of children will lapse. The focus seems to be on academic achievement and to h**l with your soul.

 

[FightingFat]

I think you acted with courage and that you are right. But I don’t think you’ll have any effect.

 

[pammie]

Thanks for your replies everyone.

It’s not so much the Catholic school that was a problem for me. I’ve seen all kinds there. It’s the fact that someone can raise a kid haphazardly in the Catholic faith. To this mom I wanted to say: THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!! ( I remind myself of that many times when I think about how nice it would be to sleep in on Sunday mornings! ) If the kid is raised a Catholic and not taught the faith properly they will lose a chance to embrace and live that faith–'cause they don’t know what it is. As a parent, we are responsible for our children’s souls–that’s a Hugh responsibility.

 

[st_lucy]

This is one of the reasons why I pulled my daughter out of our catholic school. I was tired of having to undo the damage that they were teaching her in school. Don’t get me wrong there are wonderful orthodox catholic schools but they are very few.

 

[FightingFat]

This is one of the reasons why I pulled my daughter out of our catholic school. I was tired of having to undo the damage that they were teaching her in school. Don’t get me wrong there are wonderful orthodox catholic schools but they are very few.

I can really understand this, but I can’t help thinking about GS especially 11-32, where we learn that Man by his innermost nature is a social being (GS12) He must relate his hinself to others. God wills that all men should be one family and brothers (GS 24) Socialisation is of paramount importance. God calls all men to live in brotherhood. Man is created for social unity (GS32)

We are not Catholic to live in splendid isolation, by to spread the Gospel through word and deed.

 

[kage_ar]

My 10 yr old, Catholic schooled daughter told me she believes in the death penalty ( I have posted about her before–she’s tiny but strong willed and precocious! ) She feels that really bad people sometimes deserve this punishment. I was respectful of her and explained our belief as Catholics that only God can decide when someone dies.

This section in the CCC explains the Church’s teaching on the death penalty, your daughter might find this interesting:

**2267 **Assuming that the guilty party’s identity and responsibility have been fully determined, the traditional teaching of the Church does not exclude recourse to the death penalty, if this is the only possible way of effectively defending human lives against the unjust aggressor.

If, however, non-lethal means are sufficient to defend and protect people’s safety from the aggressor, authority will limit itself to such means, as these are more in keeping with the concrete conditions of the common good and are more in conformity to the dignity of the human person. Today, in fact, as a consequence of the possibilities which the state has for effectively preventing crime, by rendering one who has committed an offense incapable of doing harm - without definitely taking away from him the possibility of redeeming himself - the cases in which the execution of the offender is an absolute necessity “are very rare, if not practically non-existent.”

 

[wjp984]

your daughter is more than welcome to believe in the death penalty. It might confuse her by saying that it is immoral to do so since there will be several other faithful practicing Catholics who do believe in it.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

your daughter is more than welcome to believe in the death penalty. It might confuse her by saying that it is immoral to do so since there will be several other faithful practicing Catholics who do believe in it.

Letting her pick and choose which teachings to follow would be more likely to confuse her I would think.

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** The above link and exerpt from the CCC spells it out rather plainly…we can believe in the death penalty but only for cases where regular means would leave society at risk for more harm from the individual. The death penalty is more about protecting the innocent than about punishment.**

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And about your last sentence…we come across “practicing” Catholics who believe (or don’t believe) in many things contrary to actual Church teaching. We need to use these opportunities to explain to our children what we believe and why, not just go with the flow because it’s easier.

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Malia

 

[HouseArrest]

She’s not alone. There are many adults who struggle with beliefs of the Church. It doesn’t mean they’re not faithful Catholics. I think it’s a good idea to show her how to deal with a conflict because certainly she’ll have more as she grows.

At this age she’s probably not mature enough to grasp all of the teachings without questions. She will grow to, though, and if she was taught “what to do” when she disagreed… she’ll know “what to do” when she gets older, too.