Catholic vs. Islamic attitudes towards sex

[Lady_Bug]

Hi

I am not the biggest fan of starting threads in which the direction of them could either go south or sprout out in multitudes of directions, but this subject has been on my mind lately.

Since I come from a Catholic-Muslim background (I have never practiced either faith actually) because of my parents’ marriage, I am interested in comparing/contrasting as many views as possible of sex between Christianity and Islam.

I do know that the love Christ has for His Church is a factor in how a Catholic marriage (and possibly sexuality) is supposed to work, but I am not as certain in an Islamic marriage. (It’s not that I’m not certain, but anyway)

My beliefs lean Catholic and they have never leaned Muslim. So I will be forthright in that this question is biased a bit to the Catholic point of view, but at least I made my purpose here straight with you LOL.

 

[Muslim_Woman]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

Salaam/peace

MARRIAGE IN ISLAM.

Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. There is no place for celibacy like, for example the Roman Catholic priests and nuns. The prophet (pbuh) has said "there is no celibacy in Islam.

Marriage is a religious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity. Islam does not equal celibacy with high “taqwa” / “Iman”. The prophet has also said, “Marriage is my tradition who so ever keeps away there from is not from amongst me”.

Marriage acts as an outlet for sexual needs and regulate it so one does not become a slave to his/ her desires.

…For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met.

1. consent of both parties.
2. " Mahr" a gift from the groom to his bride.
3. Witnesses- 2 male or female.
4. The marriage should be publicized, it should never be kept secret as it leads to suspicion and troubles within the community.

…The choice of a partner should be the one with the most “taqwa” (piety).

The prophet recommended the suitors see each other before going through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a lustful one. This ruling does not contradict the ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.

• The couple, however are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the hadith says "when a man and a woman are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.
• There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is practised in the west. There is no dating or living in defacto relationship or trying each other out before they commit to each other seriously.

There is to be no physical relationship what so ever before marriage. The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved.

We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the west to understand this point. e.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not equal a everlasting bond between two people.

jannah.org/sisters/marr.html

 

[Muslim_Woman]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

Salaam/peace

Turning Sex Into Sadaqa

[an act of voluntary kindness pleasing to God]

…God’s Messenger(s) said: “In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa.”

The Companions replied: “0 Messenger of God! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?” And he said, “Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded.”

English convert to Islam, Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood, is the author of over thirty books on Islam and other subjects.

Email: Ruqaiyyah@aol.com

The Muslim Marriage Guide - Quilliam Press Ltd

islamfortoday.com/ruqaiyyah03.htm

 

[Sam_777]

Sex in Islam:

1. Pedophilia, (E).
2. Marriage to 6 years old girls, (E).
3. Unlimited marriages, (E), (E).
4. Sex in paradise, (E), (A), (A), (E), (E).
5. Adult breastfeeding (suckle), (E) (A).
6. Sex during the women menses, (E) (A).

Sex in Christianity:
(Matthew 5:27-28):
“You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

(Matthew 22:30):
“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”

(Luke 20:35):
“But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage”

(Matthew 19:9):
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

 

[inJESUS]

I do not understand what you are looking for specifically, but the Christian sacredness of marriage and sex is different from the Islamic one. The Christian marriage is one man and one woman, one man having sex with one woman, divorcce/annulment is hard and in heaven there is no sex or mariage. In Islam one man can have sex with up to 4 wives in addition to right hand possessions if they exist, and divorce is much easier. So in a nutshell, Christian understanding of marriage is more spiritual, the Islamic one is more earthly, but Muslims do not believe they must not be of this world and they believe in heaven they will carry what what they did on earth and plus since there will be no limits.

 

[ralphinal]

From a Catholic point of view, sex is a part of the sacrement of Marriage, and as such, is a holy and beautiful act when not used incorrectly. A Catholic should see the marital act as one that unites the man and his wife in a profound and spiritual way. It is not about gratification or lust, but about a connection that is both life-giving and life-sustaining. Sex should never degrade the other person, and the couple should always have the other person’s well-being in mind.

There is no sex in heaven, as heaven is about the worship of God, not the ability to do the things that were banned on earth.

Celebacy is about offering a sacrifice to God of one possible part of your life so that you may better serve him. At some point, everyone is called to chastity. but not everyone is called to celebacy. The fact that ANYONE will say that it is wrong to be celebate is saying that you cannot give up something for the Kingdom of God, and is calling Jesus a lier.

Catholics should not see sex as dirty or sinful, as long as it is within the confines of marriage and is not done in a sinful way. Sex is a MORTAL SIN if done outside of marriage. Some Muslims seem to think that Christianity allows for pre-marital sex. This is not true. Sex outside of marriage, including living together in a sexual relationship, is always a sin.

 

[GraceDK]

Marriage in Christianity is a sign of God’s covenant love for His people Israel and the spiritual Israel, the Church. Its also a sign of the inner life in the Trinity… the total selfdonating love in total unity between Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That is, Gods own love is our role model for marriage.
Its a marriage where God is the Husband and Bridegroom in a relationship of total selfgiving, total honesty, openess to life, total faithfulness. We as spouses are called to Imitate this selvgiving love that Christ had when He died for us. The love is that radical.
Christ does not allow divorce although He says that it has been allowed by moses because of the hardness of hearts in previous generations.
Christian marriage is an unbreakable covenant-commitment where two people give themselves to each other for life. They are 100 percent free when they do so or the marriage is invalid. There is no payment for a woman, but the man and woman receives the other as a gift from God.
Absolute faithfulness is crucial. So is absolute honestly and love. I believe that Jesus was a great romantic. We would rather take the risk of making some mistakes on the way to finding the true love of our lives than to be given to a stranger.

Right now I live in the Middle East and have a fairly depressed notion of marriage in muslim culture. I talked to muslims and former muslims and formed this image also through my studies and observance of muslim culture :

• people are married to people they hardly know.
• there is a lot of cheating going on.
• a lot of dishonesty. eg. many muslim women are not virgins when they enter marriage but have a fake virginity made at the hospital in order to get married. In other words their marriage starts with a lie. It might look good… but there is no love-relationship that starts well with a lie.
• many marriages are not based on love, although some are.
• having two wives is permitted… (According Christian tradition polygamy is a disgrace).
• children are promised away and young teenagers become mothers in marriages before they even are mature.

this is what I have seen and heard from my aquaintances here. There are good marriages in the islamic world too of course… but as with many things muslim, the observance of rules is based on fear and not on love and freedom.

Grace

 

[Muslim_Woman]

Salaam/peace

… many muslim women are not virgins when they enter marriage

A Christian informed us in other thread that Arab women go outside & enjoy illegal relationships with the taxi drivers.

I asked to give a ratio - how many Muslim women have love kids in the Arab world vs their counter parts Christian women in the western world. Did not notice any reply . May be , you can provide us the info . Thanks in advance.

 

[Sam_777]

Right now I live in the Middle East

I remember you hate Arabs .

have a fairly depressed notion of marriage in muslim culture.

Yes and no, some marriages are full of family problems and depressions, but some just want to bear children and don’t care about depression or love .

• people are married to people they hardly know.

Totally right, because in Islam we are not suppose to see our future wife except in the engagement stage, but there are some exceptions according to the culture, some countries the males & females see each others before the engagement period, while in other countries (like Saudi Arabia & Yemen), they only see each others after the marriage, yes AFTER, the man or woman don’t know the look of the second partner only until the wedding party is over and they head to their home :ehh:.

• there is a lot of cheating going on.

Well, it depends also on the culture, in SA for example I think its low compared to other countries .

• a lot of dishonesty. eg. many muslim women are not virgins when they enter marriage but have a fake virginity made at the hospital in order to get married. In other words their marriage starts with a lie.

I’m aware of such acts, but I think its rare .

• many marriages are not based on love, although some are.

Make that many many many marriages are not based on love, most people want to marry because of Muhammed’ Sunnah, sex, or to have children helping them once they get elder :compcoff:.

• having two wives is permitted…

Make that 4 wives .

 

[GraceDK]

I remember you hate Arabs .

Nope… I dont hate Arabs… some of them are quite scary though and I have had quite a few bad experiences.
Especially their victim mentality: “we are the victims and never did anything wrong” bothers me.

However, I have a great dislike for Islam, as should anyone who loves Truth and Light over the Lie and the Darkness.

As one other poster noticed. European countries are not Christian. They are secular. There are a lot of perversion and divorces. However, these things fall drastically in statistics when we look at Christian families. I know no families where two Christian people have divorced but many where non-believers did.

Sin and sadness is part of the human condition. I am happy to meet Christ and not Muhammed when I suffer and when I fall into temptation.

Christianity is a lifestyle of forgiveness, mercy, humilty, peace and reconciliation as well as true radical love.
Living in the Middle East I have seen the cntrast between Christian way of life and others.
Islam is a system of fear, pride, and human justice/revenge. Enough to look at their thoughts about scales… the weights of their actions that have to be on the good side in order for them to be saved.
They think they can save themselves from the coming wrath, but Christ has said: “If you dont receive me you will die in your sins.”

hate Arabs. No. I pity them and I pass on the hope of teh Gospel wherever I can.

Also the freedom element should not be forgotten. If your sins cause you to be stoned, hanged or your hands to be cut off you will probably be scared from following certain desires of your heart, and if you do, might become good at hiding them.

 

[Sam_777]

Sex in Islam:-

Dec 2008, Mauritanian child marriage turns into trafficking:
NOUAKCHOTT - Marrying off Mauritanian girls as young as six years old to men in Gulf states is turning into a profitable trafficking enterprise as a typically rural marriage practice migrates to the city, according to urban families.

كشفت شبكة المعلومات الإقليمية التابعة للأمم المتحدة أن ظاهرة تزويج الفتيات في سن 12 من خليجيين انتشرت بشكل كبير في موريتانيا، ونقلت الشبكة عن علماء اجتماع موريتانيين أن تهريب القاصرات إلى الخليج أصبح تجارة جديدة تدر على أسرهن أموالا طائلة.
​

(E) (A).

 

[inJESUS]

Just read what muhammad said to understand:

they are not the best who leave the world for the eternity, nor those who leave eternity for the world but they are the best to take from both.

In other words, if you reject the wordly pleasures for God’s kingdom, you are not good enough for Muhammad.

and he said to a man who chose celibacy : you are then a brother of demons; if you are a brother to Christian monks, then follow them and if you belong to us, sex/marriage is our sunna.

Leaving everything in order to dedicate your whole life to God is devilish to Muhammad. You must have sex by getting married in order to be a good Muslim and maybe having sex with 11 women in a single night gets you closer to Muhammad’s deity.

 

[eichenb2]

http://theislampath.com/smf/Smileys/default/salam.gif

Salaam/peace

MARRIAGE IN ISLAM.

Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. There is no place for celibacy like, for example the Roman Catholic priests and nuns. The prophet (pbuh) has said "there is no celibacy in Islam.

Marriage is a religious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity. Islam does not equal celibacy with high “taqwa” / “Iman”. The prophet has also said, “Marriage is my tradition who so ever keeps away there from is not from amongst me”.

Marriage acts as an outlet for sexual needs and regulate it so one does not become a slave to his/ her desires.

…For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met.

1. consent of both parties.
2. " Mahr" a gift from the groom to his bride.
3. Witnesses- 2 male or female.
4. The marriage should be publicized, it should never be kept secret as it leads to suspicion and troubles within the community.

…The choice of a partner should be the one with the most “taqwa” (piety).

The prophet recommended the suitors see each other before going through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a lustful one. This ruling does not contradict the ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.

• The couple, however are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the hadith says "when a man and a woman are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.
• There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is practised in the west. There is no dating or living in defacto relationship or trying each other out before they commit to each other seriously.

There is to be no physical relationship what so ever before marriage. The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved.

We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the west to understand this point. e.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not equal a everlasting bond between two people.

jannah.org/sisters/marr.html

This a bit of rhetoric, but please indulge me. Where does the fact that a Muslim man can have sex (even forceably) with as many concubines as he likes (given he has the resouces to own many)? By the way, the divorce rate in Muslim is just as high or higher.

 

[Reuben_J]

Hi

I am not the biggest fan of starting threads in which the direction of them could either go south or sprout out in multitudes of directions, but this subject has been on my mind lately.

Since I come from a Catholic-Muslim background (I have never practiced either faith actually) because of my parents’ marriage, I am interested in comparing/contrasting as many views as possible of sex between Christianity and Islam.

I do know that the love Christ has for His Church is a factor in how a Catholic marriage (and possibly sexuality) is supposed to work, but I am not as certain in an Islamic marriage. (It’s not that I’m not certain, but anyway)

My beliefs lean Catholic and they have never leaned Muslim. So I will be forthright in that this question is biased a bit to the Catholic point of view, but at least I made my purpose here straight with you LOL.

It would be relevant to note that Islam allows sex with concubines. Compare that with Jesus’ teaching on the same subject and you can get a picture of how Islam sees it.

 

[Muslim_Woman]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

Salaam/peace

… You must have sex by getting married in order to be a good Muslim

Do you really believe , Jesus (p) will be happy with you because of this kind of posts ?

Prophet (p) encouraged people to get married . Is it a bad advice ? Church is against Marriage ?

 

[Reuben_J]

http://theislampath.com/smf/Smileys/default/salam.gif

Salaam/peace

Do you really believe , Jesus (p) will be happy with you because of this kind of posts ?

Prophet (p) encouraged people to get married . Is it a bad advice ? Church is against Marriage ?

I think it was paarsurrey’s definition of a man - he must marry and have children to be a man. I think he wanted to speak for all Muslims but this for the Muslims to decide among yourselves.

 

[Catholic_JIMMY]

Catholics should not see sex as dirty or sinful, as long as it is within the confines of marriage and is not done in a sinful way. Sex is a MORTAL SIN if done outside of marriage. Some Muslims seem to think that Christianity allows for pre-marital sex. This is not true. Sex outside of marriage, including living together in a sexual relationship, is always a sin.

Well we do not exactly keep Christians from committing fornication.
Muslims on the other hand kill Muslims that commit such an act. I know I am exaggerating but one should get the idea.

 

[Catholic_JIMMY]

Salaam/peace

A Christian informed us in other thread that Arab women go outside & enjoy illegal relationships with the taxi drivers.

I asked to give a ratio - how many Muslim women have love kids in the Arab world vs their counter parts Christian women in the western world. Did not notice any reply . May be , you can provide us the info . Thanks in advance.

This only proves my point. I do not think the Church is handling fornication strongly enough.

 

[inJESUS]

Prophet (p) encouraged people to get married . Is it a bad advice ? Church is against Marriage ?

encouraging people to get married in one thing, calling them brothers of demons for choosing celibacy is exactly what am talking about and Jesus has nothing to do with “The Nikah is my Sunnah and whoever turned away from this Sunnah of mine is not from me”. Someone who chooses to dedicate all his life to God is not good enough for Muhammad.

 

[ralphinal]

Well we do not exactly keep Christians from committing fornication.
Muslims on the other hand kill Muslims that commit such an act. I know I am exaggerating but one should get the idea.

You may not be exagerating. The issue is one that is a fundamental difference in Islam and Christianity.

In the Christian mind, only God can judge the contents of your heart. Further, God reserves vengence for himself AND that includes retribution for sins. We cannot, as Christains, start killing someone because they are sinners. If we did, we would all be dead.

Let’s look at fornication as an example. True, most Christians have a lax attitude for it. But, it is still a sin that can occure even to the most vigilant. Is one slip up, that you can repent for and learn from, worth death? Or exile? Excommunication?

The blatant hypocracy of allowing sinful men to execute God’s wrath is inherent in Islam. Trust me, they are not any less likely to sin than anyone else. The sins are just more hidden and rationalized in a different way.